Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - I am single and I am happy, must-have humorous and funny sentences

I am single and I am happy, must-have humorous and funny sentences

I am single and I am happy, humorous and funny sentences part 1

1. If you have been single for a long time, you will suddenly get scared when you meet someone you like, and you will shake your head with a smile and say forget it.

2. Don’t be hot and cold to me, that will affect my determination to leave you!

3. Double Eleven is coming soon. In the early morning of the 11th, open your wife or girlfriend's mobile phone, log in to Alipay, and enter the wrong password three times. Then, the world went silent. Don't thank me, my name is Lei Feng.

4. How can children love each other when the motherland has not been unified yet?

5. Being single allows you to enjoy being alone. It’s so wonderful to be alone. The sky is vast for one person.

6. Either be proudly single all the time, or be devoted to only one person wholeheartedly!

7. There is a kind of loneliness called loneliness.

8. The mountains are high and the roads are far away, but someone is here for you.

9. Stop saying that you are single. At your age, dogs will die of old age.

10. Compared with being hot and cold, loneliness is more practical.

11. There can be many people to love, but there is only one person to love in life. I believe that the person I love will accompany me. Will you accompany me?

12. I am careful every minute I spend with you. Every word I say to you is the result of countless reorganization of Chinese characters in my heart.

13. People who don’t like me will put trouble in your heart, and I feel really comfortable.

14. I didn’t go to Double 11 to buy my account, but they came to steal my account. How poor are you?

15. After spending all the Huabei quota, I was secretly happy that I had successfully avoided the double loss, but then I realized that it was the day of repayment.

16. I am choking up and telling you how ridiculous I was in the old days. I thought you would be moved.

17. In fact, being single is not terrible. What is terrible is that there is not even one person you like.

18. Because of you, I become full of energy; because of you, I change my lifestyle; because of you, my life is more exciting. I can’t imagine what the world would be like without you. .

19. The drunk people raised their glasses and laughed with tears in their eyes.

20. I only smell of strawberry and not sour. I am single and I am happy, humorous and funny sentences part 2

21. Since I was born, I have been favored by God alone. I advised God to let rain and dew fall equally, but God refused to listen, so he let me Single, let me be single.

22. Is there anyone like me? Sometimes what is said jokingly is often the true thought in the subconscious.

23. It is said that people in secret love are like the sea. You can see the calmness from the coast, but you can’t see the edge. You don’t know the turbulence in the depths of the sea and the stormy waves in the distant sea.

24. To establish oneself, study is the first priority, and to study is to study.

25. I suddenly miss my partner, and I don’t know if he has eaten, whether he is busy, where he lives, how old he is, and what his name is.

26. I am just an ordinary single genius. As long as I perform normally, there is no relationship that I cannot mess up.

27. We always have to experience some betrayal and some sadness before we can see through the human heart.

28. Secret love is a flower that never blooms. If it doesn’t bloom, it will not wither.

29. Secret love is a poison that harms people's hearts. If we express our love, will we get married?

30. But before going to bed, I still secretly think about who will give your favor next time.

31. There is no relationship that is not fragile, and there is no person who cannot be open to it.

32. It’s always fun to be single

33. Being alone is actually quite good.

34. Today is Valentine’s Day, but what does it have to do with me? It’s always Valentine’s Day without a lover.

35. Interesting people are single because they can survive the boring years alone and it is difficult to find someone more interesting than themselves.

36. A tree in the wilderness, with its withered yellow leaves falling one after another in the autumn rain.

37. The first order of today’s Double 11 has begun. Please give me a good sign. Please give me a personal boost. Haha.

38. On Double 11, do you want to celebrate Singles’ Day or show your love to me?

39. It’s time to learn to face everything. It’s time to grow up. It's time to be sensible.

40. Don’t be a worthless person. The best revenge is success. Part 3 of humorous and funny sentences about me being single and happy

41. Don’t live in anyone’s expectations.

42. While I still love you, can you not miss me.

43. It’s over. It’s too late to buy it on Double 11 this year. It’s estimated to be over four digits. It’s too tempting and I can’t afford to get hurt.

44. I have never known how natural it is to let nature take its course, but I know how realistic reality is.

45. Although there must be a way to reach the mountain, if you don’t work hard, you have no right to regret.

46. Loneliness is like a bad cold with no one to give you medicine

47. Liu Yingwan opened her mouth, and the sorrow of missing her beauty came again. I can only see the seductive smiles day after day, and the depression in my heart can be relieved.

48. I’m so exhausted that I’m going to lose my hands after losing Double 11.

49. What’s wrong with being single? Being single and having no money is scary.

50. Being single means God has prepared a better person for you. Being single means you haven’t met the right person yet.

51. What’s so comforting? Being single is so exciting

52. On every night when the stars fall, I count my loneliness over and over again.

53. In fact, it’s good to be single, and you don’t need to explain yourself if you’re having an affair with anyone.

54. I am indifferent when I am hurt by a stranger, but I cannot bear it when I am hurt by a familiar person.

55. You can’t see the expression on my face clearly. Be it disgust, be uneasy, be indifferent, be smiling, or still have wet eyes.

56. I don’t need a perfect love, I just need someone who will never give up on me.

57. If I no longer give my sincerity to anything or anyone, maybe I really won’t feel pain anymore.

58. Just like the sea has never doubted the blue of the sky and is mute in the flowing light. At that time, I realized that death is the best that nature can give. Eternity is far more permanent than a hug.

59. If no one in this world loves you, then you should love yourself even more.

60. At 11:59, the last quiet minute. I bought 6 pairs of shoes like crazy. As soon as I made the payment, I discovered that the system had entered the Double 11 crash stage, so I stopped talking and went to buy it. Sentences that are essential to combat singles and humorous sentences that bully singles

Sentences that are essential to combat singles (1)

1. I have been single for a long time, and I have such firepower, let alone screwing. I can unscrew bottle caps and fire hydrants.

2. Don’t give up, love will always appear.

3. You should let me help you look for something, I know what is suitable for you.

4. Single girls may want to be a fairy in their own eyes and a man in the eyes of others.

5. Aren’t you worried that you will have no children to carry on the family line?

6. You are in such good condition!

7. We will laugh to death when we think about this in the future.

8. When you are young, you should walk around. If you walk around more, you will find that the whole world is full of lovers, and you are the only one single.

9. Are you too difficult to deal with?

10. When you get married one day, you will wish you were still single.

11. You have always wanted to walk around. After you go out, you find that there are couples everywhere, but you are a stray single dog.

12. Many first times are gone, but the first kiss is still there. It’s so embarrassing!

13. Looking back, time has changed many things, but it cannot change the fact that I am single.

14. You'd better get out of here, they're going to throw a bouquet.

15. You don’t need anyone!

16. You may be too busy with your career.

17. The boat of friendship capsizes at every turn, and the giant ship of love sinks at every turn. Only the single boat remains standing.

18. There is no grass anywhere in the world. There are not many people with two legs.

19. Being single is not a symbol, nor is it temporary. It is the key to making our minds independent.

20. There is no grass anywhere in the world. Essential sentences to combat singles (2)

1. Being single allows you to enjoy your loneliness.

2. They are not worthy of you.

3. You haven’t let go of your ex yet.

4. Do you know why I am single? Normally people wouldn't consider me if they see how handsome I am.

5. After being single for a long time, you get tired of eating dog food. When will you be able to eat dog food?

6. Hey, there is nothing good about getting married. When you get married one day, if that day comes, you will want to be single again.

7. Stop saying that you are single. At your age, dogs will die of old age.

8. Don’t worry, maybe he will appear when you don’t think about it anymore.

9. Don’t worry, you will find the right person one day.

10. I have been single for a long time, and I can even unscrew a fire hydrant, let alone a bottle cap.

11. Ever since my mother knew the word "single dog", I have a new name: Goubuli.

12. Don’t choose, it’s almost done.

13. Stop saying you have loneliness and strong alcohol. In fact, you are a single dog.

14. You should let me help you match. I know what kind of person is best for you.

15. I am single because fairies cannot fall in love with mortals, as this would violate the laws of nature.

16. If you don’t want to be oblivious and watch other people show affection on Double Eleven, just confess your love to me as soon as possible.

17. Don’t you think it’s lonely to be alone?

18. I am single because fairies cannot fall in love with animals. This would violate the laws of nature.

19. If you don’t want to be single on Valentine’s Day and watch other people show off your affection, just take the initiative to confess your love to me.

20. On such a cold day, a single dog may become a barking dog. Essential sentences to combat singles (3)

1. You agreed to be singles together, but you secretly made a boyfriend.

2. The single life of more than ten months has finally ended, and now I am starting to live the remaining one month.

3. On such a cold day, single dogs want to take a bite of steaming Goubuli.

4. When others laughed at me, I chewed a Yida pill and laughed out my strength.

5. Do you want a dog at home? The single one!

6. He’s just not ready to make a serious commitment to you.

7. I have been single for a long time, and suddenly I found that when I looked at the sow recently, I thought it was very pretty.

8. I can’t wait to know who your future partner will be. He will definitely be very good.

9. Single boys are called singles. Is there any way to describe single girls? A young man who has been single for 20 years replied: Goubuli.

10. Before loving others, you must first learn to love yourself.

11. The annual dog abuse contest is now taking place.

12. Have you never felt lonely?

13. Please don’t call me a single dog. My codename is "Lone Wolf".

14. Nowadays, most good-looking people are single, such as me.

15. Being single may mean being a hero in your own eyes and a tomboy in the eyes of others.

16. Eat alone, watch movies alone, and sleep alone every day.

17. You should check out those dating websites. A friend of mine found her husband there.

18. Single girls, don’t worry, maybe Yuexia Lao’s inner thought is: I want to leave a special dog for this cute girl.

19. Brother, don’t ask me about my relationship. I am single and I can only suggest you break up.

20. Why are you still single? You are so good. Funny quotes, I am silly, I am happy. Me two, I am healthy

1. I really want to strangle my weak and soft-hearted self to death!

2. I will be there in 5 minutes. If not, please read this message again

3. With the reform and opening up, my weight has increased.

4. All questions in the world can be answered with "none of your business" and "none of my business." Suddenly I feel so busy.

5. Hello, the number you dialed has passed away. Please call again in the next life.

6. My deskmate said: Men are things outside the body. I said something: If you don’t bring it with you in life, you won’t take it with you in death.

7. A kind woman: she is still attractive without makeup. There is a kind of woman who dares not meet people without makeup.

8. Sometimes I really want to kill myself.

9. When I was a child, my deskmate asked me what a monster looked like. I took a mirror and asked him to look inside. Two seconds later, he cried.

10. People have so many excuses, it has nothing to do with reality

11. "I am very capable of enduring hardship". I have achieved the first four, which proves that I have reached 80% of the limit of being able to endure hardship?

12. How many children have been harmed by exams, and how many honest children have learned to cheat.

13. I am a green onion. If anyone dips me in soybean paste while standing on the road, I will call him an ancestor.

14. Every time in the middle of the night, it is a very tangled question who should be called to get up and go to the toilet.

15. Give me a fulcrum and I can sleep all day.

16. You have a "please scold me" face.

17. Your appearance has affected my healthy growth

18. Looking back suddenly, why haven’t you left yet...

19. I’m stupid, I am happy. Me two, I'm healthy.

20. Don’t be polite when you come to this world. If you want to do something, do it immediately. Everything must be done quickly, except death.

21. If the sun does not come out, I will not go to school; if it does, I will continue to sleep...!

22. The most painful thing in life is the price increase of instant noodles.

23. There are many people holding hands on the street, and some of them are getting married. Funny quotes about working overtime on the weekends make me happy

Funny quotes about working overtime on the weekends make me happy (Part 1)

1. I feel totally exhausted and don’t want to do anything. It’s another Saturday of overtime work. .

2. I don’t want to work overtime at night, and I don’t want to work overtime on Saturdays and weekends.

3. "One sentence proves that you are very busy at work" "When I get home from get off work, my mobile phone still has 75% of the battery"

4. People are happy when they are simple, and they grow old when they are sophisticated. . Refuse to work overtime!

5. I don’t want to work overtime. Although my salary is doubled, I don’t! think! want!

6. Standing halfway is more difficult than walking to the goal.

7. I get sick every time I work overtime. I really don’t want to work overtime anymore! The cold and allergies were over last time! I had a cold last time, and this time it was angular stomatitis. Enough, really enough! I want to change my job.

8. The wind and waves are always particularly rough for the most capable navigator.

9. What will happen to the company if it does not work overtime?

10. What is tired is just the feet in a hurry, not the heart that yearns for the distance.

11. It’s a great weekend, I really don’t want to work overtime, and maybe I can’t feel bad about the money or the time off. Hey, it’ll be nice once the version is released.

12. People always make mistakes, otherwise the right path will be overcrowded.

13. I took my aunt to work overtime on Saturday, have a meeting, then take my students to a concert, and finally rush to Hongqiao High-speed Railway Station. Yes, I am a busy little superman.

14. I actually walked home from the company alive with my computer, three books and a box of clothes on my back, just because I thought I would have to work overtime as soon as I got back and I didn’t want to squeeze into the bus with a bunch of stuff.

15. You add, I add, everyone adds, add, add

16. The best is not necessarily the most suitable; the most suitable is the truly best.

17. If he joins me, I will join

18. If you are in a big office, you are all off work, but I am still working overtime, but it is still quite fun to work on Saturday. Finally, you guys These crazy people no longer call and harass me!

19. When you face things with troubles, you will feel that everything is karma, and the world will become ugly and hateful.

20. Early in the morning on the weekend, the company suddenly asked us to work overtime. When we asked what was going on, we were told to go and we would know. This is not a psychosis! Are you in a hurry to reincarnate if you are going to die? Who doesn’t have their own plans for the weekend? Funny sentences about working overtime on weekends make me happy (Part 2)

21. After getting off work every day, when I take off my outer work clothes, I smell a sour smell in my clothes.

22. I’m a little annoyed. It’s so empty at work. Tell me to work overtime during holidays! ! ! Even if you work overtime and play with your mobile phone while basking in the sun, it’s so weird! ! !

23. There is a kind of overtime, called overtime on Saturday and overtime on Sunday. Haha, I have to work overtime next week and I have to try my luck for the red envelope. Hahahahahaha.

24. I have been working overtime every day recently, and I didn’t take a break this weekend. I feel really tired.

25. Persistence is a kind of wisdom, and stubbornness is a kind of rigidity.

26. I feel very tired, not only physically but also mentally.

27. Mom, I have to work overtime too!

28. As soon as school started, bad news came about the winter vacation! They told me to work overtime until the 28th of the year, and they asked me to let me go 26 times. My mood has been like this these days.

29. It was great when I was a child, I would go to bed after crying, but now I have to go to work after crying.

30. Give yourself a chance to work hard while you are young. No matter whether I have to squeeze into the bus or subway or work overtime until late at night, I know you will support me silently, right?

31. Everyone has their own The stories of my youth are just buried in my heart and I don’t want to tell them.

32. The most painful thing in the world is going to work. What is more painful than going to work is working overtime. What is more painful than working overtime is working overtime every day!

33. When others go to work, I go to work; when others get off work, I work overtime; when others are in love, we work overtime together; when others have holidays, we work overtime together.

34. In a busy week, in retrospect, I only cooked and ate at home on Friday night. Thank you for not having to work overtime on weekends and being able to just rest. I am confused whether the opportunity is earned by myself or given by others...

35. In a work environment, while completing your own work tasks, you will also do your best to help your colleagues around you. And never just focus on doing the job at hand and forget that you are a member of the work team.

36. Try to leave your light to others, don’t worry too much about what is there or not, and you will be happier.

37. On the first day of job hunting, I feel nervous and disappointed; on the second day of job hunting, I feel disappointed and anxious; and what about the third and fourth day?

38. I feel that they, especially them, completely treat the process of drawing up plans and plans as a bunch of endless work, forcing the work that people really love to have no way out, urging them. If you don’t want to work overtime, don’t do it. If you don’t work overtime, you can still do what you need to do. Why should you work overtime with me?

39. Listening to them saying how well you and she are matched, I tried my best to smile and agree.

40. There are a lot of things I want to do, but I don’t want to work overtime.