Invisible personality: nine kinds of people you need to pay attention to in life

As the saying goes, "everyone tells lies when they see each other". Everyone lives in society, wearing a mask more or less and pretending in front of people. Good people are not terrible, but kind on the surface, and insidious little people who stab in the back are terrible. It is said that time will tell everything, but it is too late to see a person when something goes wrong. The book Invisible Personality: The Mystery of Personality Behind Thought and Behavior tells you how to see a person clearly, avoid unnecessary conflicts and protect yourself.

1, negative type

"I'm so stupid, really."

This is a classic line of Sister Xianglin. Hearing this, everyone knows that she is going to tell the story of her child Amao again. Her amao was eaten by a wolf. How regretful and sad she is.

In fact, when I first saw this story of Xianglinsao, I was quite sympathetic to her, but I really couldn't stand her repeating this story over and over again and conveying so many negative emotions.

I have to say that such a negative person as Sister Xianglin is very maddening. They look at everything negatively. When you walk with them, the positive energy in you will be absorbed.

When you meet such people, be careful not to be taken away by them. It is wrong for you to be negative when others are negative. You should keep a positive attitude. When they want to tell you bad stories and convey negative emotions to you, they'd better take thirty-six measures. Don't let them absorb the positive energy from you. But pay attention to walk away politely and find an excuse "Sorry, I have other things now". If you walk away impolitely, they may scold you: "Why didn't you listen to me and walk away?" ? You are too unsympathetic. "If you are not careful, you may be accused of lack of compassion.

2, conceited type

"I am the truth." "I am better than you." "Why are you so stupid?"

They have a strong sense of superiority and feel that they are 1, the Altman who saved the world. With them, you will feel despised every minute.

Conceited behavior is somewhat different. Some people are very cunning, but they have to pretend and order you to do things according to their methods. You really have to put up with it at work. Dissatisfaction with them may ruin your job. At this time, when you recognize this behavior pattern, you should tolerate them as much as possible, don't say too much, and occasionally say "well" with a smile to satisfy their sense of superiority.

Some conceited people show arrogant attitude, rude speech, contemptuous and overbearing tone, and show omniscience from a limited perspective. They will interrupt your speech by leading the conversation, "This is not important, please listen to me …", implying that your point of view is not important. At this time, you should try to change the topic and ask some questions that need simple answers. "You are right. I want to ask you what new machines you have? " , and then use the discussion to change the content of the conversation, such as "speaking of new machines ... have you heard of ..."

3. Authoritarian type

"You do wrong. You do XXX first, then XXX. "

What I hate most is that we are all adults and you still teach me as a child?

This is a typical manifestation of despots. They act like parents and always like to teach you this child. No one likes to be treated as a child, and being with autocrats is torture. The best way is to communicate privately and tell him: "When you talk to me, I feel that I am an untrustworthy child with no respect. I hope you can respect me more. " Tell them your feelings and wishes, and remind them that you are not the object that he can tyrannize.

4. Anxiety type

"I'm afraid to go out recently, for fear of encountering ghosts ~"

Go out and meet ghosts? I don't quite understand under the circumstances. How can there be ghosts in the sky? After reading this book, I suddenly understood that anxious people tend to be restless and like to make things out of nothing. The friend who spoke said that someone had recently made a harassing phone call to her, answered the phone and "beep" twice and then hung up. I think it's normal. Maybe someone accidentally dialed the wrong number. But my friend felt that he had met a ghost and was too worried to sleep.

Anxious people like my friends are afraid of many things, so you should be careful not to increase their anxiety when dealing with them. Don't add fuel to the fire and say, "Ah! It's not a harassing call from an ex-boyfriend, is it? He deliberately changed his number to harass you? " Instead, try to dispel their concerns and think from their perspective in an emotional way, such as "I can understand why you are a little anxious, but the situation is not as dangerous as you think, maybe someone accidentally dialed the wrong number", which is perfect.

5, compulsive type

"You changed this font to Song style, and the other fonts are too ugly."

Hearing such a request, my first reaction was hehe. Such obsessive-compulsive disorder patients are always self-righteous, opinionated, pay too much attention to details and always pursue perfectionism. Remember to stick to yourself when you are with them. He is very picky. You should communicate with him euphemistically, "this font change should not have much impact", but also firmly let them know that what they do makes you very painful and you can't accept it. For example, "you always overemphasize these details. I really don't think about them. These details have no effect on the whole." Can you stop picking on these faults? In addition, don't waste time and energy arguing with them about unimportant things.

6. Demand-oriented

The most fearful thing in feelings is that one party desperately asks for love, but doesn't give it. It is often heard that men are kind to women, and women take it for granted that they enjoy all kinds of beauty but never think they have to pay. The boys are finally tired. After the breakup, all the girls kept it and made suicide dramas. "You used to love me so much, why don't you love me now?" You don't love me, I'm dead ~ "

People who only take what they don't give will also make us stay away from others. Too much demand will make us feel tired. They have an inexplicable fear, especially afraid of being abandoned. Once abandoned, they will take extreme measures. Many people will retaliate when they break up in love, or fall into despair, depression or suicide. This is a typical demanding personality. When you are with them, you should understand their pain, give sympathy, comfort and praise, and say to her, "I understand your feelings of breaking up, and I am also very sad. Seriously, you are very kind, but I can't give you the happiness you want, so I choose to leave and protect you silently. Even if we break up, we are still good friends, right? " Let them rest assured that your leaving doesn't mean that you don't care about them, you are always by their side.

7. Passive attack type

"Why do you blame me for this? They don't send me messages. How do I organize the data? "

Such people always passively refuse to take social responsibility. He can't work, and he can't make excuses for his inaction unless someone tells him. When you meet such people at work, try not to talk to them, and keep calm when dealing with them. If you go back and say, "The information has been uploaded to the public server, why put the blame on us?" If you become so aggressive, losing control will make them feel great satisfaction, and they will continue to fight with you.

8. Bullying

Bullies always bully others, and school bullying is one of the very common phenomena. Bullies often choose people who look like bullies. Bullying them is a habit and a pleasure. If you are unfortunate enough to be the target of their bullying, respond to them with "of course" and "you must be right" and walk away calmly with a smile. However, it should be noted that agreeing to them does not mean resigning. You should bravely report to your superiors and expose their true colors.

9, anti-social type

Anti-social people should be the most harmful of these six categories. There is no word conscience in their dictionary. Killing and setting fire are all their skills. Many times they look better than good people, but they often lie and cheat, are used to blaming others and have no guilt. When you meet such a person, never believe that he will change. If you are in doubt, be sure to verify it. Don't be deceived by their appearance, consider leaving them. If you are unfortunately hurt by them, don't lose trust in others.

The nine personality types introduced in the book Invisible Personality will bring you negative effects. When you meet such people, you should first polish your eyes to see their true colors, and then use emotional thinking to accept the fact that you can't change and learn to be patient. If you encounter a horrible human, please boldly admit that you have failed in making friends, resolutely leave and look at everything optimistically.