Looking for the lines for the sketch "Between the Collars"

The title of the skit "Between Neighbors"

Performers: Cai Ming, Guo Da, Niu Qun

Cai Ming: I am Aunt Cai, the head hugger. I am sixty-eight years old this year.

Guo Da: Niu Zi, give it to me~

Cai Ming: What's wrong? Niu Zi, Guo Zi? What are you shouting about during the Chinese New Year?

Guo Da: He pulled out the seat of my tricycle!

Cai Ming: Why?

Niu herd: He scolded me.

Guo Da: I didn’t scold you.

Niu Qun: He used his mobile phone to send text messages to scold me.

Cai Ming: When?

Niuqun: At eleven o'clock last night, I was lying down when he sent a message. Hello, Lao Niu, this is New Year's greetings. Hurry up from the first floor to the sixth floor

and run back and forth ten times, and you will get an unexpected surprise. When I thought about it, I was surprised. . Then let's run and put on our clothes quickly

. I ran from the first floor to the sixth floor, and from the sixth floor to the first floor. This run lasted until the middle of the night, and I was very tired. I was panting when he sent me another message. Come on, here comes the surprise - just run away if I tell you to. Are you so heartless?

Guo Da: Look, Aunt Cai is happy.

Niu Qun: Aunt Cai, he called me short-minded, how can you still be happy?

Cai Ming: He is not scolding you, he is just teasing you.

Niuqun: Who wouldn’t be playful? Is this your car seat? Okay, I'll take this wrench and straighten the springs here. Let you

have fun, have fun.

Cai Ming: Lao Niu, let’s talk about it if there’s something going on. We can’t destroy people’s things.

Guo Da: Right. . .

Niu Qun: Then why do you say that I am short-minded?

Guo Da: I am not scolding you, he is. . He is. . .

Cai Ming: Guo Zi, there are not many people who come to him to repair their cars during the Chinese New Year, but there are quite a few who come to you to take a three-wheel tour. I'm staring at you, get out of the car quickly

.

Guo Da: Auntie, he still has my car seat. I can't ride the pole out of the car, can I?

Cai Ming: Oh, look at my memory. Niuzi, please return the car seat to me quickly.

Niu Qun: Then let’s call him scolding me for being so heartless?

Guo Da: I’m really not scolding you!

Niu Qun: If you admit it, take away the car seat. If you don’t admit it, you give me a surprise, and I will return a surprise to you. I will let you find a car seat every day.

Guo Da: Auntie, look at him!

Cai Ming: Guo Zi, we all strive to be civilized Beijingers now. You and Niu Zi have such a quarrel. Are you united or giving in? Go and amuse

people.

Guo Da: How funny is this?

Cai Ming: Don’t you like to talk about cross talk? Tell him a story, he will be happy, and the car seat will be returned to you. Niu Zi, Guo Zi wants to tell us a cross talk

As soon as you enjoy it, the car seat will be returned to me. Guo Zi, speak quickly.

Guo Da: Crosstalk, him. . .

Cai Ming: (laughing)

Niu Qun: Auntie, what did you hear? Smiling like this?

Cai Ming: Go on. . .

Guo Da: Today I will give you a cross talk - anyway. That's true anyway. . .

Cai Ming: (continues to laugh)

Guo Da: Auntie, I haven’t said anything yet.

Cai Ming: Oh, I thought it was all said and done. It’s so late.

Guo Da: Aunt Cai, I can’t speak for myself. You have to help me.

Cai Ming: I won’t tell you.

Guo Da: Please, aunt, it’s simple. For example, if I say Aunt Cai is a good person, you just say, the good person is Aunt Cai.

Cai Ming: Oh, I’ll just translate what you said? Then don't praise me, praise Niuzi.

Guo Da: Okay, today I will tell you something - praise us for being such good guys.

Cai Ming: Bull!

Guo Da: Lao Niu is a good person.

Cai Ming: Good people are old cows.

Guo Da: I’m sorry Lao Niu.

Cai Ming: Lao Niu is sorry for me.

Guo Da: I’ll treat Lao Niu to dinner.

Cai Ming: Lao Niu invites me to dinner.

Guo Da: Lao Niu loves to eat lunch boxes.

Cai Ming: Lao Niu loves lunch boxes.

Guo Da: Lao Niu loves to eat Teppanyaki.

Cai Ming: Lao Niu loves to eat teppanyaki.

Niu herd: Are you going to burn me to death?

Cai Ming: Don’t burn him, praise him quickly.

Guo Da: Lao Niu has a sharp mouth but a soft heart.

Cai Ming: Lao Niu has a sharp mouth but a sharp heart.

Guo Da: Lao Niu is meticulous in repairing cars.

Cai Ming: Repairing cars is not interesting enough for Lao Niu.

Guo Da: Lao Niu repairs the car for free.

Cai Ming: Lao Niu wants money but won’t repair his car.

Guo Da: What the old cow eats is grass and what it squeezes out is milk.

Cai Ming: What the old cow eats is milk and what it squeezes out is grass. What kind of cow is this?

Guo Da: The old cow is so cute.

Cai Ming: Lao Niu is really thirsty.

Guo Da: Lao Niu is so generous.

Cai Ming: The tripe is really big.

Guo Da: Lao Niu is really energetic.

Cai Ming: Lao Niu is the true god—the true god—. . .

Herd:. . .

Guo Da: Lao Niu, I really don’t want to scold you, I just want to praise you.

Cai Ming: He really either praises you or scolds you. Ah, aunt didn't say yes, he just wanted to praise you.

Niu Qun: I can’t even hear this. Am I so careless?

Guo Da: It’s over, aunt, I can’t have this car seat anymore.

Cai Ming: Niu Zi, what do you think of this matter?

Niu Qun: Such a thing? I've been holding it in for a year!

Cai Ming: What’s going on?

Guo Da: I don’t know. . .

Niu herd: You don’t know? During the Spring Festival last year, our family went on a trip. Did my inner parrot let go of your house?

Guo Da: Yes.

Cows: What did you teach it? As soon as he came home, he shouted at me every day: Are you so heartless? No one else, I'm sure you taught me. My wife, children, relatives, and friends all called me careless. Even the car repairman said, "Where can I get it repaired?" Go to Quexinyan. After the car was repaired, the man was very polite and said: Thank you, we are in need of a master.

Guo Da: Aunt Cai, the conscience of heaven and earth, I want to teach their parrots to say this. Let me lose my chain when I go out. If I go out in the car and encounter a red light, the guests will not be able to pull me, and the money I receive will be counterfeit money.

Cai Ming: I know who taught it.

Two people: Who?

Cai Ming: No one taught you, you parrot is self-taught. During the Spring Festival last year, you received a piece of counterfeit money while working as a laborer, and your wife ignored you all the time. You were so careless and careless, from the first to the fifteenth day of the new year. Later, you guys started arguing, and it was me, the building manager, who persuaded you to start the fight. This parrot must have learned from his wife.

Guo Da: Yes, I learned it from my wife.

Cai Ming: Look, Niu Zi——

Guo Da: I will definitely correct this parrot and let it become a bird again. I called my wife down and asked her to apologize to you.

Niu Qun: Lao Guo, Lao Guo! Come here, come here. After so many days, don’t you feel panicked?

Guo Da: It’s quite awkward. .

Niu herd: Here you go, fixed.

Cai Ming: Are you not angry?

Niu Qun: Who is angry? I am still angry about such a small thing. I am so heartless. . .

Cai Ming: Talk back.

Guo Da: Auntie, you see, what happened today was all caused by this text message.

Cai Ming: Without this text message, I don’t know when this misunderstanding will be resolved. The bumps and bruises between neighbors are unprepared. It’s not a big deal, just be humble and let it go. Far relatives are not as good as close neighbors.