A funny joke (shorter)

1. One day, the hen flew on the roof, and the owner said angrily, "If you don't come down, I'll kill all the cocks here, making you wish you were dead." The hen laughed and said, "finally, we can find the duck." . . 。”

2. Brother said: I bought a cup with the words "I want a raise" printed on it, and I always point these words at my boss in every meeting. Finally one day, the boss also bought a cup, which said "fuck off"!

3. The manager said: From today, your monthly salary will be increased to 5 yuan!

The employee replied: Yes, long live the manager! Manager, is it because the company is profitable?

The manager said: No, because today is April Fool's Day!

4. I met a beggar at the station. He had a piece of paper in his hand that said: I am deaf-mute, please give me some. I suspected that he was a liar, so I said, Sorry, I can't read. Then he spoke: Brother, my wallet was stolen and I have no money to buy a ticket to go home. Please lend me some money. I am surprised: aren't you deaf? He was also surprised: don't you know how to read?

5. I visited a friend's Q space today, and I have to answer questions before I can enter. The question is' Is a bat a bird or a beast'. I think it is a multiple-choice question. Choose one out of two, and I'll answer the bird first. Wrong. I chose the beast, and the result was still wrong. NND, I don't believe it. Also, I baidu me. The answer is' Mammals'. The result is still wrong. Directly fill in a' beast'. As a result, he collapsed on the spot and went in.

6. Tomb-Sweeping Day arrived. Last night, my family and I went downstairs to burn paper money to pay homage to our ancestors and left my sister to look after the house. As soon as I came back, my sister said to me, "Brother, just a few people talked to you online, and I helped you reply!" " I was curious to read the message record, and it turned out that my older sister actually replied to me: I'm sorry, my brother is gone, and he can't come up to talk to you unless I help him burn paper ... < P > 7. A: Sister, if someone lied to you on April Fool's Day, how long will you forgive him?

b: it is god's business to forgive him. my task is to send him to see god.

8. Uncle asks Little Loli for directions: How can I get to the Public Security Bureau?

The little girl looked at her uncle and asked, Do you want to go on foot or by bus?

"can I go by car? Of course, by car! "

So, Xiao Loli handed the wallet in her arms to her uncle: Take this well. After the uncle took the wallet, the little loli immediately shouted: robbery! Ten minutes later, uncle left the scene in the van of the Public Security Bureau.