Beg for 500 thousand jokes

1. The teacher is helping a student fill in the registration form. She asked: What does your father do?

Pupils proudly said: My father is the governor!

The teacher was surprised and asked, which province is the governor from?

The pupil replied: When I was in kindergarten, my father never bought me toys, so I tried to save as much as possible. My aunts said that my father was the most economical parent, and later he was called the governor.

2. When I was a child, I wrote typos and was once scolded by my teacher. The teacher read in class: gold watches are everywhere, some are mature, with their heads down, some are immature and graceful. ...

3. Pupils are late for school and stand at the door sobbing.

The teacher asked angrily, "Why are you late?"

Pupils are sobbing: "I ... I ... my grandfather ..."

The teacher was surprised! Poor boy, comfort him and say, don't be sad. Your grandfather doesn't want you to cry in heaven.

Then the pupils continued to cry: "My grandfather fell asleep and didn't wake me up."

Chinese teachers often teach students: "Use metaphors in writing, so as to make things more concrete and vivid."

A student wrote in his composition: "Our teacher is like a strong cow, feeding us with sweet milk to grow sturdily."

1. Once I bought cold rice noodles and went back to my dormitory, I went to another dormitory and found my roommate eating my cold rice noodles.

When they saw me coming back, one of them said to me, why did you come back? Cold rice noodles are getting cold!

We are all surprised that a classmate has a new girlfriend!

Because he never liked love.

We asked the reason and said, "It's so hot that gentlemen are embarrassed to take an umbrella when they go out."

In junior high school, it is stipulated to wear school uniforms when raising the national flag. As a result, there are always some people who don't wear school uniforms, pants or clothes. Every time the headmaster holds a megaphone and says, "Some students don't wear clothes, some students don't wear pants, and some simply don't wear clothes and pants!" "

4. Primary and secondary schools in China should strongly advocate teachers and students to use "growling" in class. Roaring body helps to improve young people's vital capacity, enhance heart and lung function and effectively prevent respiratory diseases. She also gave an example. The teacher can ask: Xiao Ming, stand up! What is Nima 2+2? Xiaoming: It's 4, teacher! There is wood! Teacher: Cow! Xiao Ming in our class can't afford to get hurt! Please sit down!

The economics teacher talked about luxury one day. In order to better understand, he said, "Do students know what luxury goods are? Suppose you go shopping with your girlfriend, and her girlfriend stares at something for more than 30 seconds, and you pay the bill, then this thing is a luxury. Continue shopping, your girlfriend stares at something for more than 30 seconds, classmate, then your girlfriend is a luxury!

6. A woman learns a driver's license and takes a road test. Get off the bus in front, it's her turn, very nervous! She got off from the right, then went around to the left and opened the car door ... and then she shouted, Coach! Where is the steering wheel! The examiner looked back at her and said, you opened the back door. ...

1. As soon as he entered the school gate, he was stopped by the security guard and asked three ultimate philosophical questions:

"Who are you?"

"Where are you from?"

"Where are you going?" 2. The upper eyelid said to the lower eyelid: Why are you ignoring me again? ...

The lower eyelid said: Because the master has to study, we still can't be together. ...

The upper eyelid said: How happy is that? ……

The lower eyelid said: what is the master's love without being admitted to our school?

The mainframe has been moved ... say, let's be together. ...

So there is a sleeping child in the study room ... 3. Grandpa's father and his grandfather are the same person, but mom's grandmother and grandma's mother are not the same person. The reason is that the order of the second derivative does not affect the result on the premise that the derivative is continuous in the interval …