Tell funny jokes

The soldier asked the company commander: What should I do if I step on a mine in the battle? The company commander was greatly annoyed: * What can I do? Pay the price for stepping on it.

I have received your message for a long time.

I am very distressed.

I want to die.

I used to cut blood vessels with potato chips.

Hit your head with tofu

Jump over the building with a parachute

dried noodles

Can die of ink.

Invite me to dinner.

Hold me to death.

3、

If you feel cold, please call me! Please press 1 to talk about feelings, 2 to talk about work, 3 to talk about life, 5 to introduce me, please tell me directly when you invite me to dinner, and please hang up when you borrow money from me.

4、

Giraffe and monkey got married, and a year later giraffe filed for divorce: I don't want to jump up and down any more! Monkey is furious: leave! Who has seen kissing and climbing trees!

5、

The fish said, "I kept my eyes open to leave you." The water said, "I have been flowing tirelessly all day, surrounding you and holding you tightly." The pot said, "It's almost fucking ripe and there's still so much nonsense."

6、

Have you eaten? Please receive the message.

. An ant happened to pass by when the elephant put shit in the middle of the road. Looking up at the misty mountain peak, it couldn't help singing: Alasao, this is the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau.

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7、

You have grown up, there are some things you should know: the sky is used to shelter from the wind and rain; The land is used to grow flowers and grass; I used it to prove how great human beings are; You are used to stew vermicelli.