Do you have any short jokes?

After the son finished the exam, his father asked him, "How was the exam?"

"Not the best."

"That's the worst?"

"Not really."

"In the middle?"

"Much better than before." …

The father was annoyed and shouted, "What ranking?"

Son: "penultimate!" " About education

"Dad, I think mom's education is wrong."

"What do you mean?"

"When I was full of energy, she forced me to sleep; When I was sleepy, she called again.

Wake me up. "

Analogy in turn

Father: "You are responsible for teaching your brother well."

Son: "What if he doesn't listen to me?"

Father: "That proves that you are incompetent."

Er Yu: "What if I don't listen to you?"

Father: "That proves ..."

why

Child: "Dad, what kind of cigarette is this?"

Dad: "Remember, smoke is a chimney."

Child: "Oh, I see! Why is dad's nose not called' chimney'? "

stand out

Brother: "How do you call progress?"

Elder sister: "I did more things today than yesterday."

Brother: "Dad has made progress. Yesterday, he smoked and burned a hole in his clothes. Today, he burned three. "

You can eat melons.

The family is eating watermelon. The son asked, "Dad, can you eat all the melons?"

Dad said, "Yes."

The son asked again, "Can that fool eat?"

Nerve metastasis

My son itches, let my father scratch him. Dad slaps and tickles hard. son

Q: "What is this?"

"This is a new tickling method called nerve transfer."

"Dad's face often itches, right?"

"Nonsense, what's itchy on your face!"

"It doesn't itch, so why does mom often give you nerve transfer?"

Hair and wisdom

While watching the Japanese cartoon "Smart Rest", the father asked 10-year-old son: What do you think?

Why are you smart after a rest? "

"Because he has no hair!"

"What does hair have to do with wisdom?"

"I remember you said that mom had long hair and short knowledge!"

Speak loosely.

When my father said the idiom "the snipe and the clam strive for each other", he said, "The clam called me today after the clam clamped its mouth.

If you don't let go, you won't let go tomorrow. The sun will kill you! "

When the 6-year-old heard this, he asked his father. "Don't mussels talk with their mouths?"

"Can you talk without your mouth?"

"Does it not let go?"

Fortunately, no.

Father likes hunting, but he always comes home empty-handed.

"Lucky, Dad," sighed the naughty little son. "Fortunately, this is not a primitive society!"

"So what?" Father asked puzzled.

"Our teacher said that people in primitive society made a living by hunting and wanted to be like you and me.

I'm afraid we have already starved to death! "

Not afraid of ghosts

On the weekend, A Zhong led his son to visit the Thousand Buddha Cave. My son was so curious that he ran away in the blink of an eye.

Son. A Niu was so worried that he finally found his son behind a Maitreya Buddha.

Ah Zhong frightened his son and said, "There are many ghosts here, so don't run around."

The son clapped his hands and smiled: "I'm not afraid of ghosts! You often say that grandma is an old ghost and mom is a fool, uncle.

Uncle is a heavy smoker and aunt is a cheapskate. . . I am with ghosts every day. Do I need to be afraid? "

No one will pick up what is lost on the road and put it in his pocket ―― honesty prevails in the whole society.

The father took his son to the park and saw a lot of scraps of paper thrown underground. He said to his son, "Do it."

People should pay attention to public morality. When they see the scraps of paper on the ground, they should pick them up and throw them into the dustbin. "

Son: "but the teacher taught us not to pick up the body!" " "

One less time

When the father saw his son in front of the cinema, he said angrily, "You don't know anything about learning, you only know light."

I can watch movies. Nine times out of ten, I see you here! "

The son said, "I am less than you once!" " " 、 、

Pig's son

Father: "you are so stupid, you are really a pig!" " Do you know what a pig is? "

Son: "Yes, it's the son of a pig."

repeat

Son: "Dad, I failed. Don't be sad! " "

Father: "Why?"

Son: "Our teacher failed, too. She came to this class again today to give us a lesson. "

pain-killer

"Doctor, give me a painkiller."

"Where does your body hurt?"

"It doesn't hurt yet."

"Then how about you. . . . "

"I will be lame in the future."

"Why?"

"My father will soon know that I failed the exam."

antonym

Dad: "I heard that you are learning antonyms, so I asked you: What is the antonym of' good'?"

Son: "Not good."

Dad: "What about' black'?"

Son: "Not black."

Dad: "Asshole!"

Son: "Don't be an asshole!" " .

useless

The 4-year-old told his father, "My uncle gave me candy."

"Did you say' thank you'?"

"I forgot."

"Then say it quickly."

"How, did you say it?" After the son came back, the father asked quickly.

"Yes, but it's no use."

"Why is it useless?"

"My uncle said' you're welcome'."

rule

Son: "Dad, I know what rules are."

Father: "Really? Give me an example. "

Son: "at the end of the month, you and your mother must quarrel." This is the law. "

Live bird

The son pointed to a word "Ming" in the book and asked his father, "Dad, what space is this?"

"Bird language." The father answered affirmatively.

"Why is there a word" mouth "next to the word" bird "?" The child is skeptical.

"Fool, can a bird without a mouth live? A bird with a mouth is a living bird, and a bird without a mouth is a dead bird. "

The father explained.