Urgently ask for five super funny jokes that are not too long or too short.

1. One day, Lao Qi supervised the battle and caught a deserter, so he flew into a rage and wrote a note, intending to shoot him after the battle was announced. Who knows that the word "death" can't be written, so I decided to play the army stick instead, but I can't write the word "stick". Finally, he said to the deserter, "Go ahead, it's cheaper for you today!" " 2. In the new barracks, Wu Liuyi once taught Xu Sanduo to throw grenades, only to hear him say, "Xu Sanduo, with a Grenade in his right hand and a fuse ring in his left. When this guy hisses, throw it at the target. Do you understand? " Xu Sanduo nodded and said, "I see." "Great, then you try." Wu Liuyi said, and stood a few meters away from him. Xu Sanduo has a Grenade in his right hand and a pull ring in his left. After waiting for a few seconds, the guy hissed and smoked. He threw it away at once, then immediately fell to the ground and shouted, "Class Five! Capture ... 3. At the water-splashing festival, someone suddenly cursed: Who the fuck threw me away? People advise: it is a blessing to vote for you. Bitch: Please, some idiot threw boiling water at me! 4. I saw a beautiful MM in front. . . . Can't strike up a conversation. . So ... . . . Pick up a brick. . . Go to the front. "Classmate, did you drop this?" 5. One day, a kid, knowing a few Chinese characters by himself, wandered in the street, was hungry and began to look for restaurants. It arrived at the door of a small noodle restaurant and saw several big characters written on the water sign at the door: beef noodles, large rows of noodles, simple meals. He wanted to taste it, so he went in. The busy waiter ran over and asked, "What noodles would you like to eat, sir?" "I will eat ..." The little devil said, wanting to show off his recognition of Chinese characters, so he turned his head to look at the words written vertically on the water label and read horizontally: "I eat a bowl of' cow',' big' and' poop' ..." The voice of wanting to eat "shit" is quite loud, word for word. So all the diners in the restaurant looked at the little devil in amazement and whispered, "This beast is really fierce! " "