Xiao Ming is here, the complete works of hilarious jokes.

Chinese class, teacher: Xiao Ming, please do a sentence imitation exercise "If every drop of water can represent a blessing, then I will send you an ocean"!

Xiaoming: If each flower represents a blessing, I will send you a wreath!

In an instant, the whole class is sensational! ! !

Teacher: Go, go, go now! ! !

After the exam, the teacher gave a lecture. The teacher said, "They are all students. How come some of them did well and some did poorly? "

Xiao Ming: "It's because the invigilator is different."

Teacher: "Get out!"

Today, the political teacher spoke on the platform for an hour, always talking about the relationship between money and life. Finally, after class, we were given a question to think about: "If you have money, can you change anything?" Xiaoming snorted in the corner: "If I had money, I wouldn't have to listen to your nonsense here."

Teacher: How do you have money?

Xiaoming: I will invest Qian Sheng's money to earn interest, and then invest it to earn interest.

Teacher: Get out.

Teacher: Please prove in one sentence that you can't find anyone angry.

Xiaoming: Bastard, where the hell are you?

Teacher: Quality.

Xiaoming: Tortoise, where are you?

Teacher: Get out. ...

Teacher: Please explain the environmental factors and genetic factors!

Xiaoming: Being like dad is a genetic factor, and being like a neighbor is an environmental factor!

Teacher: As usual. ...

Xiaoming stood up silently. ...

The teacher asked Xiaoming, Shuang Shuang and Li Hua standing outside the classroom, "What are you three doing in class? Tell me honestly. "

Xiao Ming: "Pointing to the mountains and inspiring words, dung gets Wan Huhou."

Teacher: "Speak human words."

Xiao Ming: "Fight the landlord."

Teacher: "Stand outside for a day."

Xiaoming: I like you, teacher.

Teacher: I don't like children.

Xiaoming: I don't like children either. We cannot have children.

Teacher: Get out!

In math class, the teacher asked a question: There are eleven students in our class, and now the teacher has brought ten apples. How can we distribute them equally among the students?

Xiaohong: Xiao Ming, get out!

Teacher: Hello, class!

Student: Happy Teacher's Day, teacher!

Teacher: Thank you, students. Where's Xiaoming?

Yaoyao: Xiaoming said that you have a holiday today. He won't be angry with you. Go out first.

Teacher: Xiaoming is a sensible child. Go and invite him in.

Yao Yao: I guess he is at home now.

In the classroom, Xiao Ming leaned his head against the chair and didn't listen to the class.

The teacher asked with concern, "Are you sick again?"

Xiao Ming said without looking up, "Yes, I have a headache."

The teacher said, "Do you have a doctor's certificate? Take it out and go home to rest! "

Xiao Ming said, "It is because the doctor doesn't open the certificate that I have a headache."

Teacher: "Get out ..."

Teacher: Xiaoming, what should you do when you grow up and fall in love?

Xiaoming: I went back to my daughter-in-law honestly when I was lovelorn.

Teacher: Get out. ...

Teacher: Please talk about your wishes.

Xiaoming: Go to Lan Xiang to learn excavators.

Teacher: Give me a reason.

Xiaoming: Dig your ancestral grave.

Teacher: Get out. ...

Teacher: Xiao Ming, what is a school?

Xiao Ming: The school is the place where you sign in for five days in a row and get the homework package!

Teacher: Get out!

Xiaoming: Teacher, I want to surf the Internet.

Teacher: Get out!

Xiaoming ran out of the classroom at lightning speed.

Teacher: Shit, that's easy to say. Come back here!

Teacher: It takes one minute to steam one steamed bun, and how long does it take to steam three steamed buns?

Xiao Ming: Nine minutes?

Teacher: You are so stupid! Are steamed buns steamed one by one? !

Xiao Ming expressed dissatisfaction: Then let me ask you, how about eating one steamed bun and ten steamed buns a minute?

Teacher: Ten minutes! You think I'm as stupid as you!

Xiaoming: Eat ten steamed buns in ten minutes! Hang in there, you idiot!

Teacher: Yes. . . Get out.

Teacher: multi-digit subtraction. When the low digits are not reduced enough, borrow from the high digits.

Xiaoming: What if we don't borrow high figures?

Teacher: Get out!

The teacher told the Bible that the great flood drowned all living things on the earth.

Xiao Ming asked the teacher: Are you sure?

The teacher said: OK.

Xiaoming: How about fish?

Teacher: Get out!

The teacher suddenly said, well, whoever can answer my next question can go straight home after class.

Xiaoming immediately threw his schoolbag out of the window.

Teacher: Who threw it?

Xiaoming: I threw it! Then I'll go home. ...

Teacher: ...

In the music class, the teacher played a Beethoven tune.

The teacher asked Xiaoming: Do you know what the teacher is playing?

Xiaoming: Piano.

Teacher: Get out!

The teacher asked Xiaoming: Is there any way to protect the environment and care for trees?

Xiaoming: Send out one less piece of paper every day. No business, no killing.

Teacher: Get out!

Teacher: Xiaohong is decorating her new home and going to buy kitchen appliances. When she arrived, she took the bus for 10 minutes, and then took a taxi for 8 minutes to reach the commercial street. When he came back, he took a taxi for 10 minutes before taking the bus. As a result, it took him 3 minutes 15 seconds to get home. What's the speed ratio between taxi and bus?

Xiaoming: Why doesn't Xiaohong buy online?

Teacher: Get out!

Teacher: Who does it mean to sink fish and fall wild goose and close the moon and feel ashamed of flowers?

Xiaoming: You?

Teacher: ......

Teacher: Xiao Ming, what you said is so good that I want to reward you.

Xiao Ming: Teacher, can you not use my name when you do math problems in the future?

Teacher: Get out!

1. Teacher: How long does it take to steam one steamed bun and nine steamed buns a minute?

Xiao Ming: Nine minutes?

Teacher: You are so stupid! Are steamed buns steamed one by one? !

Xiao Ming expressed dissatisfaction: Then let me ask you, how about eating one steamed bun and ten steamed buns a minute?

Teacher: Ten minutes! You think I'm as stupid as you!

Xiaoming: Eat ten steamed buns in ten minutes! Hang in there, you idiot!

Teacher: ... get out.

In Chinese class, the teacher said: Zhuge Liang knows astronomy, geography, anecdotes and gossip, and reads countless books.

Xiaoming: Teacher, there is a book that he hasn't read!

Teacher: Oh, what kind of book do you think this is?

Xiaoming: Romance of the Three Kingdoms!

Teacher: Get out …

Xiaoming: Teacher,