Who has a bad joke? Help me collect it.

In a straw boat. Lu Su: "Can I really borrow arrows like this? Mr. Kong Ming?" Zhuge Liang: "Believe me." Lu Su: "But I'm still a little worried..." Zhuge Liang: "No need." Lu Su: "But, you Don’t you think it’s getting hotter and hotter in the boat?” Zhuge Liang: “It’s a bit awkward to say so... Is there something wrong?” Lu Su: “Yeah, I’m worried that the enemy is shooting rockets...” Zhuge Liang: “Hey. !? Zijing, can you swim? I can't..."

The magic frog

There is a frog who has learned magic and jumps happily. Arrived in a forest. Walking into the forest, he saw a bear chasing a rabbit. The frog walked up and said: "Stop, stop, stop! You are the animals I saw after practicing magic, so I want to make you three wishes." !”

The bear was very greedy, he said: “I will go first! I want all the bears in this forest to become female!” The bear's wish came true.

The rabbit said: "I want a safety helmet." Dang! The rabbit's wish also came true.

The bear expressed his second wish: "Again, I want all the bears in the nearby forest to become female, except for me!" Dang! As it wishes.

The rabbit said calmly: "I want a motorcycle." The frog felt strange, why didn't the rabbit just ask for the money and buy a motorcycle? Regardless, the frog still promised the rabbit a motorcycle.

The bear finally said excitedly: "Haha! My third wish is for all the bears in the world, except me, to become female!" Dang! The wish came true. The rabbit put on a safety helmet, started his motorcycle, and said his last wish: "I hope that bear is gay!!"

. Once upon a time, a man went fishing and caught a squid.

Squid begged him: Please let me go, don’t roast me to eat.

The man said: Okay, then let me ask you a few questions.

Squid was very happy and said: You take the test, you take the test!

Then the man grilled the squid...

Zhu Bajie was on the moon with Chang'e While they were making out, a dark shadow suddenly passed by. Zhu Bajie hurriedly picked up a rake and chased him out. After a while, he came back and said: Damn it, Yang Liwei...

Why doesn't medium-rare steak say hello to medium-rare? Because they are not familiar with it.

Once upon a time there was a little lamb. One day he went out to play and met a big bad wolf. The big bad wolf said: "I'm going to eat you!" Guess what happened? As a result, the big bad wolf ate the lamb.

One day, the three little pigs built three huts to avoid being chased by the big bad wolf. The big bad wolf effortlessly destroyed the thatched house, the wooden house, and the brick house. The three little pigs ran as fast as they could, but they were still caught up by the big bad wolf. The three little pigs said desperately, "It's up to you." We give up, do whatever you want. At this time, the big bad wolf smiled evilly and said with saliva: "Then tell me where is Little Red Riding Hood?"

The stone and the rice cake fought, and when he was angry, he kicked the rice cake into the sea.

Later, there was a couple who made a private commitment for life, but the man had to serve in the military abroad. Before leaving, he gave her a ring and agreed to meet here three years later with the ring. Three years later, the woman did not find the ring, so she threw the ring into the sea out of sadness. In fact, it was the woman who remembered the wrong place. When the man came back, he couldn't find the woman and was fishing sadly at the beach. Suddenly he caught something, guess what it was

It was rice cake.

Later he finally caught a fish and bit something hard while eating it. What do you think it was?

It’s a fish bone.

One day, the penguin decided to go and play with the polar bear.

Then he swam and swam. After four years, he finally reached the equator. But he found that the gas at home was not turned off. //So it took him another four years to swim back...

Later, he turned off the gas tank... He swam and swam, and swam... finally... eight years later... finally... Arriving at the North Pole...

So the penguin knocked on the polar bear's door,

Thump thump thump thump...

Penguin: Bear... come out to play...

The polar bear said two words...

Polar bear: No play...

Question: Metal, wood, water, fire and earth, who has the longer legs?

Answer: Ham sausage

A lunatic got a pistol from nowhere. He was walking in a small black alley. Suddenly I met a young man. Without saying a word, he put him on the ground and put a gun to his head! Asked: 1 1 = how many? The young man was frightened! After pondering for a long time, I answered tremblingly: equal to 2```? Psycho shot him without hesitation! Then he blew on the muzzle of the gun with his mouth, pulled the gun in his arms and said coldly: You know too much...

A: Who is racing between a tortoise and a super rabbit? Will win?

B: I don’t know

A: Super bunny

B: Why

A: Because he is super

B:.......

A: Which one will win in a race between a tortoise and a hare wearing sunglasses?

B: Still don’t know

A: It’s the rabbit wearing sunglasses

B: What’s wrong with the one wearing sunglasses?

A: Take off the sunglasses, wow~~~it turns out to be the super bunny! ! ! !

B: ||||||||||||

A man went to a mental hospital to see a friend. When he came out, he saw a mentally ill patient at the entrance of the well. No. He stopped and walked around the mouth of the well. As he turned, he said: "The 8th one~~the 8th one~" The man was very puzzled and left. Later, he came to the hospital again and saw that the patient was still like that. As he turned around, he said, "The 9th one~~the 9th one?"

He finally couldn't help but stepped forward and asked him, "What's the 9th one?" "The patient glanced at him, reached out and pushed him into the well, and then said, "The 10th one? The 10th one"

Tudou was going to duel with Baozi, but There was a river ahead and he couldn't cross it. -Fight a plant, 3 snow peas

In the first battle, the potato failed, and a pig said to the bean: "Come on!" -Fight the same food, chocolate beans

I There are two types of people I hate the most:

One is racist;

The other is black;

The third is illiterate!