Funny sentence: Xiong Haizi is teasing.

Funny, refers to deliberately making some actions or saying some ridiculous remarks to make people laugh, in order to achieve the purpose of funny. Laughter is a part of people's natural expression, not driven by people's subjective consciousness, and belongs to spontaneous behavior; Funny is that human beings actively seek happiness, and pay more attention to actively explore happiness from life. Peace is a kind of relaxation and adjustment outside work. It can make people more energetic and creative than laughter.

1, gay friends: "Do you know why Jing Li hates Nezha so much?" Me: knowing smile "His mother has been pregnant with him for three years! That is three years! Can you not hate it? Gay friends: "This is not the key, the key is that Li Jing can hold up the tower with one hand!

I bought a pot of mimosa and went home to play. Its leaves are stubborn and not closed. Helpless to find the boss to return the goods. I said, are you a mimosa? The boss also fiddled for a while and said, Brother, why don't you choose another pot? This pot may be shameless? Shameless?

3. The recent Why Shengxiao Mo is a mess. Today, I saw a god's signature on QQ: In fact, why are Shengxiao Mo's TV plays women's AV?

I am a pure girl. I used to like to wear long skirts, especially in movies, when I wore long skirts, my skirts fell apart. It's especially beautiful to think about it. As a result, one day I wore a long skirt and learned to turn around in the park. When I was thinking about how beautiful it was, I didn't notice that my skirt was hooked on a branch. When I turn again, people are turning, and the skirt has been torn off? Tear it up? What about the people passing by? Since then, the long skirt has left a lingering shadow in my life.

At work that day, my wife came to talk to me about housework. When my colleagues saw my wife coming, they immediately took out oranges bought for the children and gave them to my wife. My wife habitually peeled off the first petal and put it in my mouth. See everyone say:? Sister-in-law is so kind to you. ? But where do they know: every time I eat oranges, my wife will give me the first petal, and she will look at my expression. And then decide whether to keep the rest for me or eat it yourself, nima?

6. Lao Wang went out on holiday and was afraid of thieves. He left 100 yuan on the table and left a note: the house next door belongs to the Ministry of Railways. He is rich and dare not call the police. Lao Wang came back from vacation and found a lot of money on the table. At first glance, it is estimated that there are 200,000. On the table, there is a note he left when he left. It says on the back, (Please accept the information fee for you! )

As soon as I got home from work, I saw my wife say to me angrily: How can you tell your friends that you married me because you like my good cooking? This has nothing to do with you. I won't do anything. Besides, as you know, I can't even fry eggs well. You just fooled me on purpose. ? Seeing his wife so angry. I have to make peace and comfort: But? I said hesitantly, I have to make up a reason for us to get married, right?

8. Today, a passenger complained about the chicken rice on our plane, saying that he felt unwell when he smelled our rice and asked us to send it for inspection and quarantine. In the follow-up interview, the passenger said that he had a cold at home? Alas! God replied: It's over, the new H7Nsb avian influenza?

9. The housework was finished this weekend. It's almost noon, I'm in a good mood and feel a little hungry, so I quickly made myself a dish to comfort myself. It feels delicious. So I happily asked my husband to have a taste. Unexpectedly, the sour Confucian scholar immediately praised: no matter whether a person cooks well or not, as long as he dares to do it, he is a person who has broken away from low tastes, a pure person and a person who only knows how to eat. ?

10, I had a snowball fight with my classmates just now. A female classmate hit me on the head with a snowball. I caught up with her and stuffed a snowball around my neck? Maybe the snowball slipped on my chest and she grabbed me and asked me to take it out for her. Luckily, I was strong and broke free? Now that I think about it, I regret it a little. Why should I break free?

1 1. A professor of bacteriology has made great achievements in scientific research in recent years. There are awards every year. One day he said to his wife:? Dear, I have prepared an unexpected gift for your birthday, which you will never guess. ? When his wife heard this, she jumped for joy. Say: Great. What should it be? The professor of bacteriology said:? I named a new virus after you. ? My wife turned green at once.

12, fill in the blanks 30 () 40 () The child actually filled in, 30 is like a wolf and 40 is like a tiger. Who did you learn from?

13, I always blame my parents when I see my wife. That's not it. In short, I'm just trying my best to get rid of the old man. So I said angrily:? According to you, in my opinion, only Adam and Eve are the happiest and luckiest couple in the world. ? The wife looked puzzled and said:? Why is this? I said grumpily:? Because they have no mother-in-law and no father-in-law. ?

14. My friend has a younger brother. He said he was his brother's savior. I asked what was going on. My friend told me that when I was a child, I often rummaged through things at home and once found a box? Balloon? I thought my parents wouldn't let him play without telling him, so he also poked everyone with a needle to stop my parents from playing. So I have a younger brother?

15, someone added my QQ. Q: Hello, I added you at random. Can you see me? Ha ha. Me: Hehe, ok. Stranger: My name is Han Xiao, and you? Me: My name is half a step, hehe.

16, my wife and I visited my cousin's house, and my 9-year-old nephew made winter vacation homework at his desk. Chatting and chatting, the topic turned to the children. ? This kid, huh? My cousin pointed to my little nephew and said, what a fool. I can't ask the same question in another way I'm still so-so all day, and I don't know what I'm thinking I am so angry. ? Little nephew was doing his homework there, and finally he couldn't help it. He blushed and said angrily to his mother. Is this all my fault? It's all your fault and dad's fault. I didn't listen to anyone. This is called bad heredity! Blame me! ?

17, Night Study Dormitory, a beautiful woman with a fairy in Lu Yu, has always wanted to strike up a conversation, but I wish I could find a topic. Seeing her enter the girls' dormitory, she gritted her teeth and strode forward and said, classmate, are you a woman? Since then? I enjoyed the eyes of fairies and beauties for two years.

18, one night I went to the disco with my classmates and found a girl dressed thoroughly, which made people have nosebleeds. I shouted to my classmates: that woman's ass is so sexy! Want to fuck her? The music was so loud that my classmates didn't hear me clearly. Sign it. Let me say it again. So I shouted at the top of my lungs: I said that woman's ass is so sexy, I want to fuck her! ? Just open your mouth, the DJ changes the disc, and the music stops?

19, one day, my colleagues and I went to the company cafeteria for dinner. My colleague made a chicken nugget with potatoes. After that, she looked at it and asked the aunt who cooked food. What is this dish? Aunt:? Potato and chicken? Did she keep asking? What is this dish? I was confused at that time. I said, didn't people tell you it was potato chicken? You kept asking, and she gave me a finger. When I saw it, damn it, there were only potatoes in the dish but no chicken pieces. That's not the point. The point is that Aunt Cooking saw it and directly picked up a spoon and gave two pieces of chicken to Party B, shouting: Take it away! ? Make me messy in the wind?

20. On weekends, I suspect that no one washes dishes at home. So my wife and I went to a restaurant. After dinner, when I get up, I habitually say, Dear, will you do the dishes today? Wife inside story said:? Is it okay? Seeing that my wife promised so happily, I had nothing to say, so I called the waiter and said, Mr. Ober! We had no money, so we took her to wash the dishes. ? Looking at my wife, I turned blue.

2 1, my colleague has a crush on the goddess for a long time and follows her home every day. Finally, today's opportunity has come. On the way, I met two drunken youths flirting with her. Colleagues roared and rushed to have sex with them. The goddess said, thank you. I owe you one this time. Do you have any requirements? Colleague: Be my girlfriend. Goddess: How about this one? I owe you two favors.

22. I like watching Naruto for five or six years. I am 23 years old. My mother asked someone to introduce me to someone. The introducer introduced me like this: my son is excellent and has great perseverance. Watching an animated film can last for five or six years. Mom, do you still want grandchildren?

The geography teacher said: Niagara Falls is the largest waterfall in the world? The teacher found Xiao Ming sleeping? Xiao Ming, please repeat what I just said. Xiaoming: In a daze, your big rag is the biggest rag in the world.

24. I worked overtime today, so I came home late? I feel creepy when I see a pair of funeral procession at the gate of the community. Suddenly, the phone rang. Come with me and leave at dawn.

25. Lao Wang: What about your pants and clothes after losing weight? Xiaoming; Save it until you get fat next time.

26. The vegetable market is busy and chocolate is promoted. The child pestered his mother to buy it, and her mother ignored him and left directly. When the kid saw that his mother had gone away, he shouted, beauty, don't go, wait for me.

27. wife:? Honey, have you ever shown off your wife to others? Husband:? Yes! ? Wife:? Did you tell everyone? Husband:? My wife wears silver, which is a heavyweight silverware! My wife wears a silver stamp, and we all have to hang downstairs! ?

28. There is a woman in the office. She is long and thin, but her breasts are particularly plump. She also shows off how thin and light she is all day. I was showing off again that day. As a result, a colleague was tired of listening and said to her, do you know why you are so light? Because the average weight of the brain is1450g!

29. The newscaster is broadcasting the news. This is a piece of paper sent by the side. He took the note and habitually said: The following is the news that we just received? Then he opened the note and read: I said, man, do you have leek leaves on your front teeth?

30. Husband:? Honey, let me discuss something with you. Can you eat less meat? We use a lot of water at home. ? Wife:? What does eating meat have to do with wasting water? Husband:? You eat a drop of meat to become a bird, you eat a drop of meat to become a bird, the volume of the next drop of meat you eat, the larger the volume of the next drop of meat you eat, the more materials you need to package it. Aren't those materials washable Can't it be washed with water? Cut the crap! Help me wash clothes.