Seek classic funny jokes, make people laugh, long and short, thank you!

Abnormal landlord: Which is more cost-effective to raise a dog or a man? Violent reply: Auntie, even if you can treat men as dogs, do you dare to treat dogs as men? 2. Abnormal landlord: Do you want Chris Lee or Zhang Ziyi? Violent reply: a rooster does not choose a pheasant. 3. Abnormal landlord: I'm going to get circumcised. I don't want to see a female doctor. I'm embarrassed to talk for a long time. If I ask you what to do, what should I say? Violent reply: tell ya to change the high collar into lapel. 4. abnormal landlord: distressed! What should I do if I have the same name as my girlfriend? Violent reply: I hate Japanese most in my life! 5. abnormal landlord: through the incident of drinking dead people with mineral water in Hainan, we can see that China's food safety is worrying, and mineral water can also drink dead people? Is there no sign of QS? Violent reply: weak, is QS going to die? 6. Abnormal landlord: One day. I chatted with several male colleagues in the office. Men almost talk about that kind of thing. Q: Do you men all talk with your lower body? Violent reply: don't you women obey with your lower body? 7. abnormal landlord: a student, with the lowest grades every year, often fights with others. The teacher wants to give students better final comments according to the requirements of the leaders. How to write? Violent reply: The student has stable grades and strong hands-on ability. 8. abnormal landlord: I met a male netizen today, and the other party always hinted that I wanted to go to bed. I want to ask: is it because netizens go to bed when they meet now? Violent reply: don't netizens go to bed when they meet? Are you kidding? Everyone is busy. 9. abnormal landlord: I am a virgin and a little scared. I knelt down and asked for a way to identify virgins, because "The Origin of Species" said: The genes of men with ML in women will affect the future of other men ... Do you believe it? Women who can't be found anywhere would rather be single. Violent reply: Do you still bother Grandpa Darwin with such a broken thing? 10. Abnormal landlord: My wife doesn't like flowers. What should I send? Violent reply: cucumber. The one with the most thorns. Well, as a man, I feel sorry for you! Your wife obviously hinted that she needed it! Because she doesn't like flowers, that's because she likes Cao! Sin! Sin! 1 1. Talk about the 30-minute news broadcast in China. Violent reply: What's the point? The leaders were very busy in the first ten minutes. Ten minutes later, the whole country was very happy. Ten minutes later, people in other countries in the world are living in dire straits. 12. abnormal landlord: it's over 40, and there are still many things I don't understand. Whom should I ask to? Violent reply: Foreign affairs ask Google, internal affairs ask Baidu, and sex asks Tianya! 13. Abnormal landlord: Expose the true face of class reunion. Violent reply: comrades-in-arms meet comrades-in-arms, that is, they drink a lot of wine, and the classmates will have a whore. There are many brains under the quilt, few are talking, more or less groping, one is singing and the fool is drinking. 14. abnormal landlord: Olympic slogan "one world, one dream!" " Violent reply: Dear, the essence of mahjong is everywhere. On the other hand, it is actually "if you want to touch the bucket, that is the bucket!" " 15. abnormal landlord: about to step into social work. What do you mean by grassroots, high-level and middle-level units in Tianya? Violent reply: high-level: the boss above has no boss; Middle level: younger brother and younger brother; Grass-roots: only your own brother. 16. Owner: Men's underwear is called "Bird's Nest" and women's underwear is called "Water Cube". Underwear manufacturers were investigated. The State Administration for Industry and Commerce investigated and dealt with an Olympic infringement case according to law: an underwear manufacturer in Zhejiang first registered two trademarks: men's underwear is called "Bird's Nest" and women's underwear is called "Water Cube". What annoys the Olympic Organizing Committee most is its advertising slogan: "One place, one dream!" Violent reply: Uh. China people's creativity will always be strong. I seriously doubt that the factory director is a bum. Did the image spokesperson invite Liu Huan (Liu Huan) and five Fuwa to swim in the Water Cube competition, so that the champion could become a real person? 17. Tian * Yalou Zhu: Collect the most malicious words, and don't reveal dirty words. Tian * Ya replied 3 1: Did your mother throw people away and raise the placenta when she gave birth to you? Tianya reply 32: I have more than 300 photos of your mother in my computer! 18. Tian * Yalou Zhu: I always think scorpion essence is the most beautiful woman in the whole journey to the west. When scorpion essence pushed Tang Yan to bed, I couldn't help cheering for Tang Yan: I followed it! But at the critical moment, the hateful Wukong appeared ... Tianya Reply 12: Alas, if only the lustful Eight Rings appeared! Tian * Ya replied 13: Well, Bajie appeared, and this time I changed my mind ... 19. Tian * Ya's landlord: I suspect my wife is having an affair, but I have no proof ... Tian * Ya replied: If you can't be, you can be. 20. Tian * ya landlord: Tianya Sofa: It's not the rule of law, it's not the rule of man, it's the rule of man, and the primary stage will remain unchanged for a hundred years ... 2 1. Forum landlord: The damn barber shop cut my head! Let's do some bad actions, and ask that the bigger the injury, the better, and the smaller the action, the better, because I am going alone. Forum basement: Late at night, the moon is dark and windy, quietly and gently, hanging alone in front of the barber shop ... 22. Forum owner: Why do children born have the same surname as their fathers? Forum sofa: Because the money spit out by ATM belongs to the cardholder. 23. Wang married Chen. Please comment in four words. Forum reply: You are getting better! 24. Forum landlord: I have heard a very nice song, and the lyrics only remember that "a sesame seed cake is not as thin as a needle". Ask for a song title! Forum reply: You know Macau, this is not my real name ... -_-25. Landlord: I had sex with more than 20 women in my unit, and none of them turned out to be virgins. It seems that women all over the world are as cheap! I live in a cesspit and think the whole world is a toilet! 26. Tianya Louzhu: Please describe China National Seismological Station in one sentence. Tian * Ya replied: Wise after the event, pig head beforehand! 27. Landlord: I curse you who pretend to be B in Tianya and die in various car accidents! ! ! Sofa: Since I read the landlord's sentence, I have to ask the car before I get on the bus: "Is there a B on the bus?" 28. Landlord: I haven't eaten a drop of rice for a year, and I'm still alive and well! Mop netizens, you are behind. Don't you think it is troublesome to eat three meals a day? Now I only need 10 minutes of sunshine every day to be energetic for several days in a row. Well, you are really a group of ordinary people. Answer: Plants can type. Sweat! ! ! 29. Tianya Louzhu: How does Beijing show that this Olympic Games is a green people's Olympics? Tianya Sofa: Didn't you invite Nicholas Tse to sing? 30. Tianya Landlord: My wife gave birth to a baby girl, so cute! I ask you to help my daughter have an unforgettable name. My last name is Cheng. Tian * Ya replied: A chicken thinks of Han 3 1. Can't China, Japan and South Korea all take hostile actions to treat each other and sit down and talk about the problem calmly? Sofa: No! Because when Japanese and China talk about speculation, only the topic is about Koreans; When Japanese and Koreans talk about speculation, only the topic is about China people; When can China and Koreans talk about speculation? Only when the topic is Japanese! 32..LZ: Have you seen my avatar Niu B? Sofa: Yes. 33. Landlord: Excuse me, sisters, do you keep or throw away the things BF and his ex-girlfriend bought together, such as rings, necklaces and bracelets? It's really ... it's expensive to throw away. It's annoying not to throw it Sofa: Much ado about nothing! Aren't you using her ex-boyfriend? 34. Landlord: After the news broadcast, the host took off his headphones. What is he talking about? Reply 1:- alone at night-me too ... Reply 2:- Hurry up or it will be unnatural. Unnatural 1234 1234-: I'm moving. Have you finished the subtitles? 12342234 35. Confucius said: if you have no money, don't do it, and if you have money, get out ~ 37. Landlord: Men's betrayal is usually physical, while women's betrayal is mental and physical. A long time ago, there was a saying on the Internet that you would never believe an animal that died after bleeding for a week. In fact, most geisha are talented, talented, singing and dancing, reciting poems and words, and extremely elegant. The men didn't go to sit, drank several cups of tea, ate a few snacks, listened to a few ditties, played chess, recited poems, drank some wine or something, and then left. Tian * Ya replied: Oh, thank you for your explanation. It turns out that the ancient brothel is today's North Shadow.