Mei Ting's words put an end to my idea of divorce.

Can an derailed marriage go back to the past?

One can't step into the same river twice.

Mei Ting said in an interview: After getting along, both husband and wife are getting along with each other's shortcomings.

This sentence especially agrees that it is easier to love than to be together. People will always be attracted to each other because of each other's advantages and enter the marriage hall, but living is to get along with each other's shortcomings.

It is impossible to change the derailed feelings back to the past; But it is entirely possible to become closer and more solid.

No one can step into the same river, what's more, since the end of the past is derailment, why go back to the past?

In fact, marriages that still choose to be repaired after derailment are often based on good feelings; It is not easy for two people to come together because of love, and then buy a house, a car, have children and build a home together.

Therefore, even if one person is tempted and the other person is heartbroken, they still want to move forward together, eager to support each other out of the pain and reach a new stage of their relationship.

Of course, this road is not easy. When two people decided to try to repair it, they both showed great sincerity, which is an important resource for repairing it.

Of course, people who have experienced infidelity have been hurt, their trust has been betrayed, and what they have paid seems to be a joke, self-doubt, and even more doubt the feelings of the other half for themselves;

When you are in pain, you must want to walk away; But I stayed, and the big probability is that this relationship has also given and even existed some precious and beautiful things.

And those who choose to cheat are willing to stay; Then this kind of derailment is not only harm to your partner, but also harm and punishment to yourself; It takes courage to choose to stay It must be because there is still something worth giving up in this relationship.

The difficulty of repair is precisely because of their deep emotional foundation; It hurts because you care.

But this is an opportunity. Two people with such a good emotional foundation have come to this point because they have lost their balance and their needs cannot be met.

And such a harmful event will force two people to really grow up; I have met many couples who have experienced infidelity. When they grow up, their feelings become closer and stronger. In fact, it is enough to pay attention to the following three points.

1, don't be pushed by emotions when they are repeated.

Repeated feelings are an inevitable difficulty in the marriage repair period after derailment. After all, being betrayed by someone close to you is a very serious trauma, no less than an internal earthquake with a magnitude of 10.

Many people will choose to forgive quickly because they feel at first and are afraid of losing this person.

But in fact, this is not really forgiveness. I can't get through at all. This is an instinctive decision out of fear.

Once the relationship between * * * and maintenance is determined, all repressed anger, grievances and sadness will come out and torture the cheating party.

Many people can't bear such intense emotions at all, and can't help but turn over old scores and complain and blame their partners.

Going back to one side will also be very wronged. Obviously, the other party not only does not recognize it, but also attacks itself and feels that the other party has not kept its promise. If the contradiction escalates, it will fall short.

At this point, the derailed party must understand that if you want to forgive slowly, you must first deal with your inner emotions and pains, and then you will get twice the result with half the effort.

2. Rebuilding trust requires sincerity, and mutual cooperation is very important.

Some people say that trust is a piece of paper. If it is crumpled, it can't be taken back. Imagine that someone you once trusted put a sword in your heart when you were unprepared. How can you open it to him without reservation?

After the affair, you decide to forgive that person and give the other person another chance, but you will find it really difficult; Not answering the phone, coming home late, or even his absent-minded appearance sitting on the sofa may make you think more; At this time, how to deal with it is crucial:

First of all, the derailed party must learn to express feelings and ask for help without complaining or accusing, and never take imagination as a fact and accuse the other party for no reason.

For example, you can say, "Dear, when you don't come home after eight o'clock in the evening, I feel very flustered and easily think.

But you can't say, "Did you come back so late to see her again?"

In the initial repair period, you can also set up some similar repair processes, such as going out to report, coming home late, going crazy, etc., to help build mutual trust.

3, no confidence in feelings, afraid to pay with fear.

Many people who have cheated will find themselves in a dilemma after choosing to repair their marriage;

Because I don't want to leave, I will stay because there is no way to leave;

However, because I am afraid of getting hurt again, I dare not pay, and I dare not be good to the other half. My feelings simply can't flow.

On the surface, the two people seem to be repairing, but there is already a gap in their hearts.

In the dead of night, "Is it really only 0 times, infinite times?"

Such problems will always come out and disturb the mood.

It is very, very normal to have such mood swings and worries. After all, the other person's cheating behavior has destroyed your trust in your feelings and each other.

But we have to see that if you focus on whether he is trustworthy, is it possible to cheat again? You can only keep consuming yourself and never find the answer.

It is important that you believe that you have the ability to cope with all uncertainties and be responsible for your own happiness, so that you can really settle down and dare to invest in your feelings again.

The so-called spiritual companion is not a predestined fate, but two people working together to repair it; Good love is that two people fall in love with each other again and again; The person who chooses to face the same person after cheating is brave and deserves to have mellow and strong feelings.