In this life, how many times do people meet, how many times do they leave, and how many times do they leave before they can see the people around them clearly?

As the saying goes, tea is cold because you don't drink it, and people break up because you don't hesitate. If you don't drink, you don't know its strength, and people don't know its depth.

In this life, people have to go through too many meetings and departures, and in the face of people coming and going, they can see who is true and who is false around them.

Half my life has passed, and my heart has become hard, not because I live more and more in cool thin, but because I have recognized many realities:

Between people, the relationship is complex, the feelings are mutual, and there are conditions for a long time.

No matter who you are with for the rest of your life, you must remember these seven pieces of advice.

About contacts:

You don't have the strength. It's no use knowing anyone.

What is a network?

There is a line in Little Joy that profoundly explains this point:

Networking doesn't mean how many people you know, but how many people know you;

Networking doesn't mean how many business cards you send, but how many business cards you can receive;

Networking is not how much you can ask others to do, but how much others can ask you to do.

When I was young, I always thought that there were many friends, and the road was easy when the circle was big.

Later, I realized that when your strength doesn't match your social circle, no matter how hard you try, it is useless.

Your advantage is your access to resources and contacts. If people are not strong enough, it is useless to know anyone.

Because the essence of social interaction is reciprocity, you have to pay as much as you want.

If you want to join the wolves, you can only become a wolf if you first turn yourself into a wolf.

If you want to see farther, you must stand on a high place to feel the infinite scenery.

After all, people have lived all their lives, and we must recognize a reality:

Knowing doesn't mean being friends, and knowing more people doesn't mean having a wide network.

Only when resources are equal can we create value, otherwise the connections you think will only be a joke.

As a proverb goes:

When you are not good enough, don't spend too much time at social gatherings, but spend more time reading and improving your professional skills.

Don't chase horses, use the time of chasing horses to plant grass. When spring blossoms, there will be many good horses for you to choose from.

Don't waste your energy on ineffective socializing, spend more time to improve yourself. When the time is right, your world will be strong.

About the circle:

A person's achievements,

It is the average of five friends around him.

There is a famous "golden mean principle" in psychology.

Your grades are the average of five friends around you.

In other words, the average of your five closest people is your value.

What kind of circle you enter, what kind of life you will have.

What kind of people you associate with will lead a kind of life.

Walking with excellent people, he will share with you the scenery he has seen and the knowledge he has learned, which will bring you light;

Join hands with a positive person, he will give you more energy and give you courage to face the ups and downs of life;

With a reliable person, he will always stand firmly behind you and let you move forward with peace of mind;

Accompanied by a kind person, he will let you see love and warmth and will never lose your way;

Side by side with a sincere person, he will give you the most authentic support with sincerity and gratitude.

As Jia Pingwa said:

The circle of friends is actually the world you live in, and your struggle for fame and fortune is the good and bad history of friends.

About the human heart:

There is no 100% empathy in the world.

People will understand when they live to a certain age:

No one will really understand you, and there is no such thing as empathy in the world.

What you think in your heart is often irrelevant to others; Your so-called pain is torturing you, and in the eyes of others, you are just melodramatic.

When you tell others about your pain, 20% people don't care, maybe 80% people are watching your jokes.

I agree with the writer Mo Yan:

Don't think that everyone in the world is concerned about your affairs. Do you think everyone is staring at you?

In fact, everyone has their own troubles, and no one cares about you.

Don't complain to everyone like Sister Xianglin. After a long time, others will get bored. More times, no one wants to hear it.

Speak your mind and tell it to the right person. If you complain, tell yourself.

About caution:

You can afford to offend 90% people around you.

What is the most comfortable state in interpersonal communication?

Probably exactly: no one needs to please anyone, and no one is afraid of offending anyone.

You know, in addition to interests, you can afford to offend 90% people around you.

Dong Jing, the debater of Seven Parnassus, said:

Today you go to work without makeup, and he says you are ugly; Tomorrow you go to work in makeup, and he calls you a leprechaun.

Don't please the people around you, they are really hard to please.

I'm impressed.

When you are alive, you don't have to put yourself on fire for the warmth of others.

Any good relationship needs to know how to keep a sense of proportion. Only in this way can we advance and retreat moderately and for a long time.

About distance:

Always be at least 30% mysterious to anyone.

Life is full of masked people, and Peking Opera is performed every day.

Never drag yourself out completely, lest you leave something everywhere.

The old saying is right: you can't just say three words to everyone, but you can't throw away my heart at all.

Telling anyone the truth is not simple, but stupid.

Life is long, and the most fearful thing is not to meet inappropriate people, but to stand in front of everyone without reservation and confide in anyone.

After all, you can never know every sincerity or hypocrisy, and you can't be sure whether it is a flower or a blade hidden behind each other.

Get along with acquaintances, keep a proper distance, and get too close, which will hurt others.

When talking to strangers, keep an appropriate standard. If you talk too much, you will lose something.

30% mystery is not only to protect yourself, but also one of the secrets of a long-term relationship.

About the bottom line:

Good people get what they deserve, but bad people don't

Before reading the novel, I was deeply impressed by a sentence in the book:

Cutting a piece of meat to save a person, people will be grateful. But the more you cut, the more people want.

In the end, people will not be satisfied even if there is only one bone left in a year.

Being too kind to a person is an effort without a bottom line.

This attitude also determines the degree to which others demand you, and one day you will lose everything.

You keep lowering the bottom line, they have to push one inch and one foot, but you can only take a step back and finally fall into the bottomless pit.

You are good without reservation, and the other person can be bad without restraint.

Good people are rewarded, but "bad people" often have no good results. People who only consider other people's feelings are doomed to be unhappy.

Walking in the world, don't be used to those who only take and don't feed and don't know how to be grateful.

Kindness, but what you want is kindness that sticks to the bottom line, not a "bad guy" who is bent on pursuing perfection.

Kindness should be measured, tolerance should be measured, and sincerity should be left to those who deserve it.

About human feelings:

Apart from parents, few people really want you to have a good life.

The darkest part of human nature is called not seeing the people around you.

Although cruel, the reality is real.

Nobel Prize in Literature laureate Russell once wrote:

Beggars won't be jealous of millionaires, but they will be jealous of beggars with higher incomes.

Most people don't envy strangers, but they often envy their close relatives and friends.

Some people are unhappy, not because they have experienced misfortune, but because they feel unhappy when they see the happiness of people around them.

Sometimes, a casual show-off will become a thorn in others' hearts.

The show that you blurt out will bring endless disasters to yourself.

We have to admit that few people really want you to live well except your parents.

It is a rare wisdom to communicate with people in a low-key and calm way.

Don't show off your happiness, keep your edge, and you can shine in plain days.

Adler, a famous psychologist, said:

"All people's troubles come from interpersonal relationships."

Over fifty, people gradually learn to see through all relationships and look down on all troubles.

Don't overestimate the feelings between people, and don't underestimate the inevitable laws in human nature.

Watch, stay awake in the busy world, and gain sincerity in the complex human nature.