What do concession and contention mean respectively?

China is a country of etiquette, and comity is our fine tradition. During the Spring and Autumn Period, a war broke out in Chu Jin. In order to repay the courtesy of that year, Jin Wengong took the initiative to stay away from the three places. One house is three miles and three houses are nine miles. Chu thought gold was weak and deceivable, so he took advantage of the situation to pursue it. Concession brought the moral support of the vassals and the unity of the soldiers and civilians in the state of Jin, and finally the state of Jin won a great victory.

The essence of comity is proper compromise. The word "compromise" is often encountered and used in people's work and life, and it appears in a derogatory form on many occasions. Usually people regard it as a synonym for weakness, no position and no principle. In fact, this is a misunderstanding of it, which is explained in Modern Chinese Dictionary as: avoiding conflicts or disputes through concessions.

Compromise is the art of life. Between people, between people and society is a collection of contradictions, and their connections are intertwined and complicated. Correctly handling the contradiction between them can ease the tension and avoid unreasonable consumption, while improper handling may lead to the escalation of contradictions and the deterioration of relations. The successful application of compromise is a good way to solve contradictions.

There are many trivial matters in family life, and it is inevitable that there will be bumps and quarrels between husband and wife, brothers and sisters, parents and children. If we treat them and deal with them in a considerate way, we will have a harmonious mood, a harmonious family and a beautiful life. However, if the two sides of the contradiction are tit for tat and do not compromise with each other, they will be in a bad mood, have a bad family and have a bad life. Life needs compromise. Compromise emphasizes looking at the problem from the other side's point of view, actively empathizing, correctly understanding the problem, making reasonable concessions on its own initiative, and creating favorable conditions for solving contradictions. Compromise is actually a lubricant for dealing with interpersonal relationships in life.

Society is like a network, which is complicated. In the interaction with people, it is inevitable to have misunderstandings or frictions with people. Do we choose bitter hatred or humble smile? Be kind to resentment and learn to respect people you don't like, and we will find that we not only have less resentment, but also have more happiness, and even win more respect and gain more friendship. During the reign of Emperor Kangxi in Qing Dynasty, a university student and minister of rites had a conflict with the Ye family next door because of the dispute over building a house and exchanging land. Mrs Zhang wrote to ask her son to intervene. Zhang Ying sent a letter from Beijing to Tongcheng, Anhui Province. There is a poem in the letter: "A thousand miles is just a wall, why not let him be three feet?" The Great Wall of Wan Li is still there today, but there is no Qin Shihuang. "Mrs. Zhang took the initiative to back down three feet after reading it. Ye Jia, ashamed, also gave in three feet. As a scene of Tongcheng, Liuchi Lane still warns people that concession is a virtue.

Compromise is still a philosophy of life. Compared with active intervention and strong dominance, compromise is a philosophy of life, detached from the outside world and refined from the world. It emphasizes harmony without difference and pursues a harmonious beauty. Shen Congwen, a famous writer in China, had a rough life and experienced hardships. If you go to his hometown, Fenghuang, Xiangxi, you can see his tombstone, and the design is very interesting. This is a natural stone, just like Mr Wen Cong's simplicity. The words 16 are engraved on the front of the tombstone: "If you think like me, you can understand me;" According to my thinking, I can know people. " On the reverse side, the words 16 are engraved: "Never fail, the stars contend for their words, and they are also kind and tolerant, and their nature is pure." The word 16 on the back was written by American sinologist Zhang Chonghe. If the last word of each sentence is read together, it means "Let people follow the text". "Let people" is a kind of mind and wisdom. The works of Wang Meng, Yu and other figures also consistently show this wisdom of life. In a sense, it is these people who have made themselves.

Compromise is a kind of generosity after all. This is an inclusive and eclectic mentality. There is a saying called "Thank your opponent". In fact, gratitude is not necessarily necessary, but attention is necessary. Are some of what your opponent said true? Your opponent always attacks your weakness. He's looking for your weakness. When you make up these problems, you are developing and you are growing.

There is a limit to compromise. Mr. Lu Xun once talked about the philosophy of porcupine in his article. In winter, porcupines huddle together to keep warm, but porcupines are covered with thorns. If they get close, they will stab each other. So in the constant running-in, they found a suitable distance to accept each other, which can make each other warm without hurting each other. This is actually a philosophy of mutual understanding and accommodation, with "mutual benefit and win-win" as the goal, "mutual harm" as the premise and "mutual acceptance" as the principle. For example, five people will have dinner together in the evening. Some want to eat hot pot, some Chinese food, some snacks and some noodles. What do we do? There are usually the following solutions. People with high status or prestige shall prevail, and we all listen to him. Either the person who treats the guests or the person who organizes the dinner party shall prevail; Or vote by show of hands, and the minority is subordinate to the majority; Of course, it is also possible that some people will not attend this dinner because they can't reach an agreement, and they will break up in discord. At this time, we need a little "confused philosophy". The problem of eating is not a big problem. Everything we eat is for food. We should be flexible according to the situation at that time, be casual and compromise, it's no big deal, and try not to break up in a bad way.

The so-called "due diligence" cannot be compromised on the issue of principle. At that time, British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher, known as the "Iron Lady", negotiated with Deng Xiaoping about the return of Hong Kong. Comrade Xiaoping said categorically: "The issue of sovereignty is not negotiable." We're just talking about the details of the return. Later, it was generally done according to Comrade Xiaoping's idea.

The antonym of "concession" is "contention". The world is full of competition. Where there is cooperation, there is competition. Modern society is a society full of competition, and the competition is becoming more and more fierce. Between countries, emphasize the competition of comprehensive national strength; Between companies, the emphasis is on commercial competition. Between people, there is also a problem of competition. From small to large, everything has to compete. From study to further study, from school to work, from individual to unit, from business war to scientific research, it is full of competition. A society or a group cannot develop without competition. There is no competition in monopoly, and there is no competition in "big pot rice", but what is the result? Monopoly and "big pot rice" are both stumbling blocks to social progress. Besides, if you don't argue with others, others will argue with you. If you don't want to argue, it may not help solve the problem.

Therefore, we still need to establish a correct concept of competition, improve our competitiveness, and find a suitable foothold in this increasingly competitive era.

First, we should dare to compete. Speaking of competition, I think of an idiom called "scrambling". This idiom is very interesting. Now it means to go ahead and not be afraid of falling behind, but it didn't mean it at first. Zhao Xiangzi always failed to win the famous riding prince period in Jin and Zhao Xiangzi, so he accused the prince period of being insincere in technology transfer. The prince replied that you should pay attention to horses when driving, but you always stare at me. "After this gentleman, he wanted to arrest the minister, and then he was afraid of arresting the minister. The husband lures the road to fight for the distance, not first, then the priority is in the minister. Why do you want to transfer him to the horse? " Yes, you always stare at people instead of horses, and you are indifferent to horses. You lack psychological endurance for the inevitable changes in the game, and you have to be swayed by considerations of gain and loss, and you have to overwhelm your opponent. The more you do this, the less you can adjust your horse and the less you can run. It can be seen that the original intention of "scrambling" refers to the impetuous mood of suffering from loss and loss, which contains derogatory meanings. For us, it still means "scrambling" now, unwilling to lag behind and working hard. In fact, the process of competition is also a process of improving ability and quality. Even if you lose it, you will gain something. Besides, we should try our best to compete with experts. I once had a feeling that if I was in the same group as the fast runners in the 100-meter race, I would do well even if I couldn't outrun them. If you are in a group with a slow runner, even if you are the first in the group, your grades are not so good. Therefore, if you want to improve your grades, you still have to take the master as your opponent.

Second, don't create unnecessary disputes. This is a boring game, and of course it is also a failed game. We are all familiar with the story of the race between the tortoise and the hare. In fact, when the rabbit decided to race the tortoise, it had already lost. Adults go to fight with children, and no one says hello when they win. If they lose, it will be even funnier. In the fable, the tiger does not accept the challenge of the mouse, which is the reason. Yu also had an incisive exposition in the article "Little People". There is a joke, which is also very telling. It's about Goethe, a great poet, walking in the park and meeting a critic on a small road where only one person can pass. The critic said, "I never give way to fools." Goethe smiled and retreated to the side of the road and said, "On the contrary, please go first."

Third, we must compete through proper channels. "The Art of War" said: "If you use the right combination, you will use the right victory." "Coincidence" is the premise of "odd victory", otherwise it is illegal and deviant. In other words, it is understandable to do some "strange tricks" and "strange tricks", but everything must be within the scope allowed by the rules. Can't you at least violate the Anti-Unfair Competition Law? For example, an exam depends on your own talent to learn. If you cheat, something will go wrong. Defeating the weak with the strong is the basic law of war and the only law of competition, so we can't take chances. Zeng Guofan founded the Xiang Army to fight against the Taiping Army, and finally he won. With what? With his perseverance, he fought a "battle to stay", slowly and steadily, "hard camp, fight to the death", unable to let go, like Anqing, but also like Tianjing. Therefore, the key is to improve their own quality and make themselves strong. It doesn't matter to slow down. Victory is our own after all. I envy the kind of challenge and being challenged in the martial arts novels. Such an opponent, whether winning or losing, is convincing. Something crooked may look good in the short term, but it is not a long-term solution. There are many such examples in martial arts novels. Decent martial arts come slowly, step by step, and it is easy to reach a higher level. Jabu came quickly and fiercely, but in the long run, it is easy to "get possessed". Therefore, it is still an old saying: "Evil is invincible."

It should be said that concession and struggle are normal phenomena between people. Without comity, the world will lack warmth and society will lack harmony; Without competition, the nation will lose its vitality and social progress will lose its momentum. But when concessions, disputes, concessions, disputes, concessions stop at ceremony, disputes stop at Tao, comity and competition should have rules and standards that conform to morality and the legal system. Concession and struggle leave the necessary rules and standards, so concession can only be hypocritical or even insidious, while struggle can only be about purpose and unscrupulous means. Both need to be avoided.