Jokes, suitable for all ages, no yellow jokes.

1. Money is not a problem, but no money!

2. I am drunk and won't accept anyone, just hold the wall!

I am like a fly lying on the glass, with a bright future, but I can't find a way out.

4. You know what, big brother? Second brother's meat is now more expensive than master's.

If eating more fish can nourish the brain and make people smarter, then you should eat at least a pair of whales. ...

6. Clear water leads to no fish, while mean people lead invincible.

7. Youth is like toilet paper. It looks a lot, but it's not enough to use ~

8. Being pregnant is just like being pregnant. It takes a long time for people to see it.

9. Friends around you, get famous quickly, so that my memoirs can sell well ~ ~ ~

10. Colleagues may be nervous when they meet customers. As soon as they opened their mouths, they said, "Hello, Miss Liu, what's your name?" Sweat ~ ~ ~ ~

1 1. A female classmate is a little black and her boyfriend is a little white. One day, the poisonous queen in the dormitory suddenly said to her, "You can't do this. You'll have zebras."

12. I always treat handsome guys and money like dirt, and they always treat me like this.

13. Don't be lazy with me, I'm too lazy to compare with you.

14. I am not a casual person. I am not a casual person.

15. God said there should be light, and I said I opposed it. From then on, the world was dark.

16. I am in a bad mood today. I only have four sentences to say, including this one and the first two. I quit. ......

17. To be a man, you must be a person who wanders between A Niu and Niu C.

18. My name is God, my name is Jesus, my English name is God, and my dharma name is Tathagata. ...

19. People can't hang themselves from a tree, but try to die several times in several nearby trees.

20. If you don't peel the bark, you will die. People are shameless and invincible in the world.

2 1. The farmer's three punches hurt a little.

22. In fact, I have always been very popular: everyone loved me when I was a child, and now I am a bitch.

23. Don't be afraid of enemies like tigers, but teammates like pigs.

Go your own way and let others take a taxi.

25. Rats are looking for cats all over the street with knives.

26. As long as you work hard, you shit seriously.

27. Who runs fastest in China? It's Cao Cao (not Liu Xiang). Because speaking of the devil.

28. You can go as far as you want.

29. Only when there is a long queue at the railway station can we truly realize that we are "descendants of the dragon".

30. Lovers form families.

3 1. Spring comes, and a flock of geese fly north, forming a B-shape for a while and a T-shape for a while. ..

32. Lie down where you fell.

33. If the tiger doesn't show off, you can treat me as HELLO KITTY!

34. Donkeys can look backwards ~

◆ Women are plump, thin, slim, tall, slim, short and petite; Men are fat, pigs are thin, ribs are tall, bamboo poles are short, and wax gourd Professor: 90% of adult women in China are not virgins. The president sent a letter to the other 65,438+00% women. Have you ever heard of this? The girls shook their heads. "So you didn't get the letter!" ◆ "How much do you love me?" "Almost a dime." "Is that all?" "Isn't a dime ten dollars?" You are very creative. It is your courage to live. Ugliness is not your intention. God lost his temper. If you live, who will set off the beauty of the world without you!

0 1. The early bird catches the worm, and the early worm is eaten by the bird!

02. Arguing with MM about whether a whale is a fish, I finally said "I also bring a personal word", and she agreed that a whale is not a fish.

03. The iron pestle can be ground into a needle, and the wooden pestle can only be ground into a toothpick. The material is wrong, and it's no use trying again.

If the answer was a virtue, I would have become a saint.

05. Life can't be like cooking. You can't cook until all the materials are ready.

06. I heard that women are like clothes and brothers are like brothers. Looking back, I actually streaked in Too Many Cooks for 20 years!

07. Wear other people's shoes, go your own way and let them take a taxi to find it.

There is an old legend that people who can see beautiful women in XX campus will live forever. ...

09. Can eggs from all over the world unite to break stones? ! So be realistic. ...

10. Not afraid of enemies like tigers, but afraid of teammates like pigs!

1 1. Summer is just not good. When I was poor, I didn't even have to drink the northwest wind. ...

12. I used to have a pair of wings, but I didn't use them to soar in the sky, but put them in a pot to stew soup. ...

13. Clear water means no fish, while mean people mean invincible!

14. I am not a casual person. I am not a casual person.

15. Today, a group of Japanese people visited our school-to be honest, this is the first time I have seen Japanese people wearing clothes!

16. How far away your thoughts are, how far you go! ! !

17. I am poor, and so are my servants, gardeners and drivers. ...

18. When the bank charges, it says, "This is in line with international practice!" When he was in service, he said: "We must consider China's national conditions!"

19. It is not necessarily a prince riding a white horse, he may be Tang Priest; The one with wings is not necessarily an angel, he may be a bird man.

20. Being pregnant is like being pregnant. It takes a long time for people to see it.

2 1. Stand higher and pee farther.

22. The minimum goal of a college student: a peasant woman, a mountain spring and a little field.

23. My friend's name in his girlfriend's mobile phone is "He", and later they broke up and became "It". ...

24. Don't look for me if you have nothing to do, and don't look for me if you have anything to do!

25. Do you think I will watch you die? I'll close my eyes!

26. Buddha said: "Looking back 500 times in previous lives, you will get a pass in this life." I would rather pass the world by 500 times in my life.

27. What can I do to kill your lover ...

28. The Internet is like a prison. You stole a wallet in, but you know everything when you go out.

Angels can fly because they look down on themselves. ...

30. I want to puppy love, but it's too late ...

3 1. Teacher! Just follow that old woman!

I love you! What do you care?

33. There is no limit to learning the sea, and turning back is the shore!

34. Life is interesting, because life always fucking plays with me!

I only trust two people in this world, one is me and the other is not you.

36. I don't know whose wife is in my bed, and neither does my wife!

37. I really want to call your grandfather in person: Dad!

38. Beijing University of Science and Technology cheated me for four years, so I plan to cheat the society with the knowledge taught by Beijing University of Science and Technology for life!

39. Friends around you, get famous quickly, so that my memoirs can sell well ~ ~ ~

When you put on the wedding dress of love, I also put on the monk's cassock. ...

4 1. Never seen such a disgusting school-set the mid-term exam on May 8th! ! ! (hidden)

42. House prices are getting higher and higher, and there are fewer and fewer good men. ...

43. If I become an emperor, I will make you a prince!

44. My friend's name in his girlfriend's mobile phone is "He", and later they broke up and became "It". ...

45. I have never been reduced to an excellent college student, relying on strong quality!

46. Shit, I've been complained! The client said that the mp3 file I gave him had no image!

47. Life is sometimes like being * * * by a eunuch-resistance is pain, not resistance is still pain!

48. Reduce the number of boys behind each girl to six!

49. It rains in the east and rains in the west, and the tutor is heartless. So I will fight with my classmates in the exam!

50. Hugging is really a strange thing. We are so close, but we can't see each other's faces.

Okay, I admit it's short.