Personality signature is funny and shocking.

1, catch up with the thief and generally get back the loss; Catch up with female friends, and your loss has just begun.

The person who is angry with you will never know how many times he has put up with you.

There are fewer and fewer frogs in nature, and there are more and more frogs on the Internet.

There is a song like this: As long as you live better than me, I can't stand it.

Old class, don't bother to change my desk. I can talk anywhere.

6. Time is cruel only to those who look good originally, and there is nothing time can do for those who are born ugly.

7. I want to do what a good-looking girl can do by threatening.

8. Live in one place all your life and sleep next to one person all your life.

9. It turns out that Swallow became a director, Wei Zi became a director, Mei became a director, Jinsuo became a goddess, and only Erkang became an expression pack.

10, your lethality is too great. Last time you operated on me, I was ill for several days.

1 1, don't do anything wrong and spill all the dirty water on yourself. I have to flush the toilet.

12, how many times have I told you, go to bed early at night and don't go out, but you just won't listen. No, I dreamed again last night, which made me unwilling to wake up!

13, to be a white-collar worker, you have to prepare more white shirts. For one thing, occupation, and for another, it's easy to expose the color of the bra!

14. Only those who know us can stay in my heart for a long time, and those who know you can hurt you invisibly.

15, my life creed is: live like a grandson for decades until you become a grandfather and then die.

16, there is a slag in a pile of Xueba, which feels like a bottle of Liushen mixed in a pile of famous brand perfume.

17, I passed you and you didn't know it was me because I turned my head away.

18, the bus sat in the middle of the last row, there was no obstacle in front, and there was an emergency stop. It rushed directly to the driver from the last one, accompanied by the screams of killing pigs all the way.

19, the biggest difference between doing and not doing is that the latter has the right to comment on the former.

20. What is the biggest difference between Jesus and Sakyamuni? They have big curly hair and small curly hair.

2 1 I think there has always been a lovely primary school bully in my body. I have to brush questions to feed him, but recently I found that he was starved to death.

22. Someone said I was handsome today, and I smiled. As a result, they said I was more handsome when I smiled. I shouted at the sky: me! Don't! Handsome! A flash of lightning fell from the sky, and God said, You are lying!

23. When you see me staring at you from a distance (next88), don't think that I am interested in you. I really can't see who you are.

24. Don't grab things from me. Although I can't be spoiled, I can wrestle.

I have a dream that I am as thin as a shadow. Do all chubby girls have this ideal?

Teacher, there are no beautiful women in our class. How can I have the motivation to come to school?

27. You told me to roll, I rolled, and you told me to come back. Sorry, I rolled away!

28. When I heard the teacher say that the fine would start again, I knew that his salary had been spent.

29. I know there is a person in my heart who will always be there no matter how the years change.

30. I planted girlfriends in spring and harvested a bunch of men in autumn.

3 1, when someone pretends to be cool, my sister will bow her head, not because I am shy, but because I am looking for bricks!

32. The high price attracted countless heroes to compete. With too little savings, my girlfriend turned to money. No car, no house, happy days.

33. When you stay in nature for a long time, staying in the depths will naturally sprout. When you sprout to the limit, you can easily get married and marry someone else to continue your residence.

34. I pick up girls, and every time I pull a * * * out as a souvenir, I guess I can knit a sweater!

After living for more than 20 years, I have done nothing for my country and people. Every time I think about it, my heart aches.

36. I try to lose weight every day except during meals. You still say I have no perseverance?

37. There are two kinds of creatures in the world who can lie on the glass, one is the gecko and the other is the class teacher.

38. What you say when you are in love is called love talk. After breaking up, treat it as a joke.

Regarding my parents' suspicion of puppy love, I just want to say that you overestimate my ability.

40. All the questions in the world can be answered with "none of your business" and "none of my business", and I suddenly feel so busy.

4 1, men are like the food in the campus canteen: it's not delicious, but it's gone if you go late.

42. There are always endless scenery, endless roads, invisible people and invisible dreams.

43. My life has two aspects: A and B, and so does yours. ..

44. Give you three choices: First, be my wife. Second, be my woman. Third, be my wife. choose

45. If you shed tears, my face will always be wet; If you are sad, it is always my heart that cries!

46. I just slapped my wallet. Actually, it's nothing. I just hope it will swell up.

I can't stand typing. When I meet a homonym, the first thing that comes to mind is his name.

48. Once I found that I couldn't do math, I skipped it. I found that I couldn't stop the jump.

49, love is very strange, everything cares, and finally everything can be forgiven; As Tagore said: eyes are raining for her, but heart is holding an umbrella for her.

50. You said that onions are amazing, and they are the only fruits and vegetables that can make people cry. I don't want to deny you, but last time I was hit by durian, I cried all day.

5 1, when we have money. I want to buy two lollipops. Look, I'll eat one and I'll show you one.

52. How can I sleep when the sun is shining high in the sky? The teacher is kind and hypnotic. As long as I don't take exams, I will have many dreams.

53. The death of the emperor is called death, the death of civilians is called death, and the death of mistress is called oh yeah.

54. When men and women flirt, the most striking Chinese character is born: bump.

55. I have spread my homework on the balcony. Do it yourself during a typhoon.

I only love to lose my temper with you, because I subconsciously believe that you won't leave me. Stupidity turned out to be a kind of dependence.

Sleeping for seven hours at school is not enough, but sleeping for five hours during holidays is twice as energetic.

58. When you are young, don't despair because you have no money, because you have to know that there are still many days when you have no money.

59. Even if I won't change after many years, I will still love you as I do now!

60. Lao Wang fell into the dry well at the entrance of the village. With the enthusiastic help of the villagers, Lao Wang finally adapted to the life at the bottom of the well.

6 1, girls say that I am a good person, and love does not come to me; Girls say he is not good, scrambling to love him; Nowadays, girls are really strange, saying that he is not good is love; Do you find it strange? Should I learn badly?

62. I am really comfortable that people who don't like me can add trouble to your heart.

63. You never know how ugly you are unless you confess, and you never know how bad your character is unless you borrow money.

Whenever I find the key to success. Someone changed the lock.

65. On the day you left, I decided not to shed tears, covering my eyes against the wind and trying not to blink.

66.who do you think you are? You are the spilled water. I don't even want a basin.

67. Holiday homework is always assigned for a whole month, but when I get to school, the teacher only gives me the word "reading"-what a painful understanding.

68. The head teacher saw me doing my homework after class and suddenly said, I'll give you a ten.

69. It takes one day to wait for a sunrise; It takes January to wait for the full moon; It takes a year to wait for a flower to bloom; Wait all your life and love you all your life. Love you forever.

70. The two luckiest things in my life: one is that time has finally exhausted my love for you; One was the day a long time ago, when I met you.

7 1, I hate it when you say you miss me but do nothing.

72. We are good friends. I'll help you when you fall, but let me finish laughing first.

73. I want to be a soldier. Say goodbye to my parents before I get on the bus. Looking at the trembling figure of my parents in the car, I couldn't help crying. I bowed deeply to them in the car and my head was caught in the door.

74. If you don't find a new partner after breaking up, it feels like being widowed with your ex.

75. One monk carries water to drink, two monks carry water to drink, three monks have no water to drink, four monks fight the landlord, and five monks can play Fuwa.

76. The three most painful things for men: being caught by a lover to accompany his wife to buy food; Caught by his wife shopping with sympathizers; Trapped in an alley by his wife and lover at the same time.

77. In fact, when you hand in the blank paper, everyone is the first in grade. Why do we have to kill each other?

78. Some people said I was ugly, but I smiled. You've never met my friend.

79. The wife is a big tree, and the lover is a grass. Planting a big tree is good for enjoying the cool, and raising a grass for walking birds is a harmonious society and environmental protection.

80. In the Southern Song Dynasty, there was a patriotic poet named Lu You. At that time, nomads from the invasion, in the face of broken mountains and rivers, the people were miserable, and Lu You was furious. Lu You was so angry that we couldn't surf the Internet.

8 1. If something happens to you one day, please call me. I won't withhold my words or stand in your way, but I can come out handsome.

82. Women advise men: don't smoke and drink, it will hurt your health; Men advise women: don't say these words, it will hurt feelings.

83. Mirrors are installed at the school stairs to tell us that ugly people should read more!

If you are really hungry, call me and I will give you some snacks.

85. The one that warms a girl is called a warm man, and the one that warms many girls is called a hot dog.