What are the classic jokes in the photography circle?

What are the classic jokes in photography?

-Baby, count mom. Come on, get ready. Let's go.

- 1, 1.4,2,2.8,4,5.6,8, 1 1, 16,22,32.

-Dad, come and talk.

Landlord: What do you think of this camera/lens?

Floor 1: It doesn't matter whether the camera is good or not.

2 nd floor: the realm of photography, do you understand those who play with equipment?

3rd floor: What matters in photography is the head in the back, not the lens in front.

4th floor: There is no good camera in the world, only one that suits you.

5th floor: If you think your camera is broken, try changing it.

6th floor: Some people hold tens of thousands of cameras, but they can't compete with thousands of mobile phones.

7th floor: The impressive works are never because of the camera in your hand, but because of the head behind the camera.

8th floor: If you complain that the focal length of the lens is not long enough, you might as well stand closer.

9th Floor: You envy others ten continuous shooting pictures per second, but you don't know that the decisive picture only needs one moment and one photo.

Floor 10: I can't shoot good works because my machine is not good enough, which is really the worst reason in the world.

Floor 1 1: If the camera is the first driving force of photography, then you should shoot better than the masters in history.

Floor 12: A photographic work has been formed before you press the shutter, and the machine just materialized it.

Landlord: I just want to know what this camera looks like! ! !

I am a photographer. One winter afternoon, I went out to collect the wind and saw a beggar shivering in the cold wind with a bowl. His clothes are in rags. I felt sorry for him, so I gave him some money to take a picture of him. After the photo was taken, I showed it to him and was ready to leave. A faint message came from behind: remember to reduce the exposure by half next time and use a little test.

I am a photographer. One winter afternoon, I went out to collect the wind and saw a beggar shivering in the cold wind with a bowl. His clothes are in rags. I felt sorry for him, so I gave him some money to take a picture of him. After pressing the shutter, he said, Remember to turn up the aperture next time. I was surprised, but I said disdainfully, "You don't know the parameters I used. How can you let me turn up the aperture? " He said vaguely, "At the moment when the shutter was opened, I had judged it according to the number and diameter of the blades?"

I am a photographer. One winter afternoon, I went out to collect the wind and saw a beggar shivering in the cold wind with a bowl. His clothes are in rags. I felt sorry for him, so I gave him some money to take a picture of him. After taking the photo, I was about to leave. There is a vague sentence at the back: remember to open the lens cover when taking the next photo?

Zoom basically depends on walking, blur basically depends on shaking!

The focus is basically by twisting, and the shading is basically by hand!

Photometry basically depends on the eyes, and anti-shake basically depends on the elbows!

Dust removal basically depends on the mouth, and the model basically depends on the dog!

Photography is the art of spending all your money.

When asked to propose that Chen Sheng send troops to attack Qin, Chen hesitated. He asked Guangwu: Let's fight against the Qin Dynasty together. At best, it is an uprising; At worst, this is a kind of rebellion. Why do you have to drag me? Guangwu said: I thought about it. It is not appropriate for me to rebel alone. Chen Sheng asked: Why? Guangwu said: I resisted alone. It belongs to SLR. Nima SLR destroys life.

Canon users: You advocate and pursue a camera system, which has the ability to lead the cutting-edge technology of digital imaging and provide a wide selection of fuselage, lens and accessories from entry level to professional level. You will switch to Nikon.

Nikon users: You advocate and pursue a camera system, which has the ability to lead the cutting-edge digital imaging technology and provide a wide selection of fuselage, lens and accessories from entry level to professional level. You will transfer to Canon.

Sony users: You believe that Sony's innovation in consumer electronics and imaging technology, its leading position in digital imaging chip manufacturing, the anti-shake technology of the fuselage, and the combination of Sony and Zeiss Optics will produce unique design and great product value-because this is what Sony advocates. You also believe in astrology, UFOs and the Easter Bunny.

Pentax users: You will spend $65,438+$0,500 on a digital camera, just to avoid wasting decades of screws, K-lens and M-lens (about $75 in total). Or you don't even know what Spotmatic, LX or Takumar is, but you just think it's cool to have a shiny red camera. You think people are telling you jokes, not laughing at you.

Olympus users: You are the kind of person who will buy Korean beer, Peruvian underwear or French cars, not because you really like it, but because others will not buy it. When someone asks you why you chose Olympus, you will answer because the photos of Olympus have a "soul". What matters is the photos themselves, not the camera. You have no friends.

Leica users: You know, except Hasselblad, no brand can win the respect of experts like Leica in an instant. Although it is not necessary to show real photography skills when using Leica cameras, you must be familiar with the subtle differences between Elmar, Elmarit, Summitar, Summicron and Summilux. You may have stinking money and still live in your mother's basement, or you may get divorced by buying a lens.