Requesting: Hilarious jokes, any type is acceptable, as long as they are funny~! Bonus points~! Haha

1. Find a friend and ask him to say "rat" three times first, and then "rat old man" three times. After he finishes saying "rat, rat, rat, rat old, rat old, rat" "Old", immediately ask him "What is the cat afraid of most", and you can almost guarantee that he will answer "mouse". I have tried it many times and it works every time.

2. Find 3 random things, such as 3 cups. When you knock the first one, ask your friend to say "forget", knock the second one to say "love", and the third one to say " "Water", euphemistically called testing your friend's reaction speed. After a few times, tap the first one repeatedly. 3. If your friend follows up by saying "Forget, forget, forget, forget, woof, woof, woof, woof , woof,..." Haha, the effect is coming.

3. Find a girl and ask her to test her English ability. You say a word, and MM says the second letter of the word. Just say a few words at the beginning, and then the fun begins.

First talk about husband, and MM will say u(you);

Let’s talk about wife, MM will say i(I);

Repeatedly.

Do you understand?

4. You asked him: "What is three points of water plus one?"

He thought for a while and said: "Not sure, LAI?"

If you ask again: "What about adding one to three points of water?"

He will probably say: "...What is the word? Is there such a word? Go?"

p>

In fact, it should be "Dharma"...

5. Stretch out 1 finger and ask others "How many times is this"

Stretch out 2 fingers again Hold out 3 fingers again and ask others "How many is 1+1"

Extend 3 fingers again and ask others "How many is 1+1"

At most 1 person out of 10 people can answer correctly

6. Take a look at Wang Shuo's novel "Half Fire, Half Sea Water". The game in it is very interesting. It's the one who holds a coin in his hand and answers the question

Is there a number larger than 1? The other party said yes.

I asked if there were any larger than 10? The other party said yes

Until it reached 100,000——

Finally, I asked if there are any fools who are stupider than you? The other party replied "no" very alertly!

7. By the way: You can tell your girlfriend that I want to test your English response ability. Extend your left hand and say to her: "My thumb is A, my index finger is C, and my middle finger is It’s M, the ring finger is S, and the little finger is X.” Then he said, in order to increase the difficulty, I will use Chinese to disturb you. Then, if you point your middle finger to say fish, she will say m, if you point your ring finger to say donkey, she will say S, and then point your thumb to say pig, she will say A, and then keep tapping your thumb to say pig, she will keep saying: A, A, A, A, A, A, if the girl is smart, she can try other fingers before talking about the thumb.

8. When persuading MM to drink, say to her: I have a clear drink, you take a sip.

Then repeat... I have a clear drink, you take a sip... ...

9. Put your hands on your thighs, then rub your left hand forward, and beat your right hand up and down for a few times, then change your hands to the right hand. Make rubbing movements in the front, and pound up and down with your left hand...and so on...

By the way, the speed should be faster, otherwise it will be ineffective. Haha, try it, most people can’t say it

10. A: Besides humans, which animal likes to ask “why” the most?

B: I don’t know.

A: It’s a pig!

B: Why?

Ha! ! !

11. Say to the other person:

That day I went to the zoo and saw a gorilla and I vomited

The day after tomorrow you went to the zoo and the gorilla saw you and it Vomited

12. Animals bought a house and communicated

Rabbit: I have a living room and 2 bedrooms

Cat: I have 2 living rooms 3

Dog: I have 1 living room and 4 bedrooms

The bear finally couldn’t help but said: Why do you all have living rooms, but I only have 3 bedrooms?

The animals all said: Why are you still acting like a bear?

13. There was a fool in a village. Once, a cow was lost in the village. The village chief asked the fool , have you found a cow? The fool said stupidly: No!

(At this time, you suddenly ask the listener, have you heard this story? The person will stupidly say: No ! Got it?)

Answer: twins_code - Tongsheng Level 1-14 23:27

Complete mobile phone text messages! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

gt; Do you still remember the military training under the tree that year? The coach said to the students: "The first row counts!" You looked at the coach in surprise, and the coach said loudly: "Count!" So, you turned around reluctantly and hugged the tree!

gt; gt;

gt; gt;

gt; gt; Latest news: The main transmission route of SARS is currency in circulation, for you and your For the health of your family, clean up all the cash in your home and seal it in plastic bags. I will come to collect it for a small fee.

gt; gt;

gt; gt;

gt; gt; A pair of lovers were caught by savages in the mountains and said: You eat each other's shit. I'll let you go. The lover did it, and the woman cried loudly on the way back. The man asked why, and the woman sadly said: You don't love me, otherwise you wouldn't poop so much!

gt; gt;

gt; gt;

gt; gt; Sometimes you can’t see me by your side on the journey of our friendship, It's not that I forgot about you, nor did I let you walk alone. It's that I chose to walk behind you. When you accidentally fall, I will run up... and step on you!

gt; gt;

gt; gt;

gt; gt; Can we go on a date on Saturday? Please agree to my sincere request! Because I really want to walk on the beach with you and listen to the sound of the sea. I will take you to climb the highest rock on the beach and then... kick you down!

gt; gt;

gt; gt;

gt; gt; The weather is hot and cold, and it is difficult to calm down in this season. I am always thinking about the distance. For you, I would like to raise a homing pigeon and let it fly to you every day, even if all it can do is a simple action: poop on your head!

gt; gt;

gt; gt;

gt; gt; Yesterday, I dreamed of you, really, the sky was so bright and quiet, The sun is so bright and the sea is so vast. You stand on the blue seaside and I poke you with a stick. Hey, this little bastard has a pretty hard shell.

gt; gt;

gt; gt;

gt; gt; Empty love, empty feelings, wandering in the street; empty people, empty money, single life I am working part-time; I have nothing to do and nothing to do, and I am going crazy just thinking about it; I have no money to recharge my mobile phone, and my life is not easy because of the pressure; in short, all four things are empty.

gt; gt;

gt; gt;

gt; gt; The moment I turned around and left, you were helpless behind me. Crying, the heartbreaking pain made me realize in an instant how much I love you. I turned around and hugged you: This pig is not for sale.

gt; gt;

gt; gt;

gt; gt; I saw you that day, in the supermarket! You quietly reached out to the barcode scanner and saw the screen display: Pig's trotters 8 yuan. You thought the machine was broken, but you turned your face over and looked at it. The screen showed pork head meat for 5 yuan!

gt; gt;

gt; gt;

gt; gt; When you pick up the mirror and look at your round face, tall Beautiful nose, charming eyes, sexy mouth, blessed ears, you will sigh loudly----Pig! ! ! !

gt; gt;

gt; gt;

gt; gt; Are you lonely? If so, then go downstairs and buy a rope. Take a stick, tie a rope to the stick, and when the wind blows, go to the top of the building and wave the stick. What will others ask you for? Just say: I have a convulsion. . .

gt; gt;

gt; gt;

gt; gt; Life is so tiring! Standing and thinking about falling asleep, I have to queue up to get on the bus, I suffer from unrequited love, eating has no flavor, drinking easily makes me drunk, I am very tired at work, I don’t know how to rob, I have to pay taxes to earn money, ugh————! Even sending a text message to Xiaozhu is charged!

gt; gt;

gt; gt;

gt; gt; It’s just a gust of wind, but it’s so eternal, just a dream. It's so true. You lowered your head and said nothing, but I couldn't calm down. I finally couldn't help but say to you: next time you fart, say it!

gt; gt;

gt; gt;

gt; gt; One night, a naked man hailed a taxi, and the female driver stared at him intently. Looking at him, the naked man was furious and shouted: You have never seen a fucking naked man!

The female driver was also furious: Let me see where you got the money from!

gt; gt;

gt; gt;

gt; gt; Dear user: Your phone bill is less than 0.1 yuan, please call in the near future. Inside: Sell your son, sell your daughter, sell rice, smash pots and sell iron, sell some blood, sell land, house, and wife. Please pay your phone bill. Thank you for your cooperation! China Telecom

gt; gt;

gt; gt;

gt; gt; I wrote your name in the sky and was taken away by the clouds. I wrote your name all over the mountain and was carried away by the wind. I wrote your name all over the street, kao, I was taken away by the police

gt; gt;

gt; gt;

gt; gt; In Chinese class, the teacher called up a sleeping classmate to answer a question. The classmate was confused and couldn't say anything... The teacher said: "Can you do it? If not, just squeak!" The student said: "Squeak."

"

gt; gt;

gt; gt;

gt; gt; Dear user, since most of your text messages are sent to the opposite sex , causing a very bad impact on society, we have suspended your text message function, please bring your own bench tomorrow and go to the nearest police station to learn style knowledge!

gt; gt;

gt; gt;

gt; gt; Yesterday I dreamed about God and he said he could grant me a wish. I took out the globe and said I wanted world peace, but he said it was too difficult. Just change it. I took out yours. The photo said he wanted this person to become beautiful. He thought for a moment and said, "Let me take a look at the globe."

gt; gt;

gt; gt; There are six kinds of pigs in the world. Domestic pigs, those born in the mountains are called wild boars, those who read this message are called stupid pigs, if the one who is laughing is a stupid pig, the one who is angry is a big meat pig, the one who ignores me is a dead pig, and the one who does not reply to the message is worse than a pig

gt; gt;

gt; gt;

gt; gt; You go! Find someone worthy of your love to love... I don’t know you and you well enough. I know that some things cannot be forced and some distances cannot be crossed. Just like yesterday, I really couldn’t believe that you left with someone just for a bone.

gt; gt;

gt; gt;

gt; gt; I can no longer think about what you want; I no longer have the style to wear clothes; I can no longer develop feelings for anyone; I am no longer welcome wherever I go; Thinking about problems I can’t keep up with Lenin; my heart stopped even though I was fine; getting pneumonia is not typical!

gt; gt;

gt; gt;

gt; gt; Announcement of finding the monkey: I have lost a miscellaneous hairy monkey. Characteristics: dirty and squeaking, face full of runny nose. It has a mobile phone and can read text messages. Love the monkey after reading the text message and reply to the owner as soon as possible! The owner is now I miss you so much

gt; gt;

gt; gt;

gt; gt; 6 met 9 and said: Just take two steps, Why do you practice handstands? 0 met 8 and said: Just be fat, why should you wear a belt? 7 met 2 and said: Okay, don’t kneel down. I won’t marry you even if I kneel down again. 2 met 5 and said: I haven’t seen you for a few days. Breast augmentation!

gt; gt;

gt; gt;

gt; gt; One day, Liu Hongtao met a foreign guest and approached him and said: I am hong taoliu, the foreign guest said: I’m still the Seven of Diamonds!

gt; gt;

gt; gt;

gt; gt; abcdefghijklmnpqrstvwxz, Do you know what is missing? It’s you! No amount of happiness is what I want without you, my friend, it’s a lifetime!

gt;

gt; ;

gt; gt; Not every flower can represent love, but roses do; not every tree can withstand thirst, but poplar does; not every pig can see Short message, but you did it. congratulations!

gt; gt;

gt; gt;

gt; gt; You are the sun in my heart, but it’s a pity that it rains; you are the one in my dream The moon, but unfortunately it was covered by clouds; you are the most beautiful flower in my heart, but it is a pity that it has bloomed; you are the Chang'e from the sky who came to the world, but it is a pity that you touched the ground face first...

gt; gt;

gt; gt;

gt; gt; What's going on? I called your cell phone just now. After the ringtone, the cell phone prompted a voice saying: The other party is running naked, please wait and call again. I can't believe it! I called again and it said: Sorry, the user you dialed has left the service area, please wait and call again.

gt; gt;

gt; gt;

gt; gt; In my eyes, you always look so carefree, eating Always enjoy it with relish, and always sleep soundly. . . I really envy you. Sometimes I think about it, being a pig is pretty good.

Author: Simple 2004-5-6 21:20 Reply to this statement

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2 Reply: A complete collection of mobile phone text messages! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

gt;gt; Missing you is a very happy thing

Seeing you is a very happy thing

Loving you is what I will always do

Keeping you in mind is what I have been doing

But...

Lying to you just happened

gt；gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; Tomorrow you wake up and there is a mosquito lying on your pillow, and there is a suicide note next to it: I struggled all night and found nothing. It can pierce your face, your thick skin makes me shameless to live in this world, Lord, please forgive him, I committed suicide

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; Are you secretly missing me? Are you really secretly missing me? If you really want me to tell you, I won't stop you from missing me. You guys are being reasonable, I miss you too!

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt;Marriage Proposal:

The poor man is 1.49 meters tall and ugly.

Rural household registration with primary school education,

three broken houses and one acre of thin farmland,

no wife for hot pot or hot stove,

one year The medicine of the four seasons never leaves your mouth,

Today’s text messages are recruiting girlfriends,

We work hand in hand on the road of revolution.

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; A loud thunder in the middle of the night woke up Bush and shouted: "Quick, turn on the light!" The bodyguard Light candles knowingly. Bush looked at the heavy rain outside the window, sighed and said: "Afghanistan."

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt ; One day I can’t hear your voice and I can’t eat, two days I’m not in the mood to go to work, three days I can’t sleep, four days I can’t get out of bed, five days I’m in the hospital, six days I’m preparing to line up to be reincarnated, are you willing to do it

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt；gt;

gt;gt; A man is not bad, but a little perverted. If a man is not coquettish, he is an idiot.

Men who are not carefree must have nerves. Men who are not gangsters have abnormal development

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; Category: Those kept at home are domestic pigs, those born in the mountains are wild boars, those who read this message are stupid pigs, if they are laughing, they are stupid pigs, if they are angry, they are stupid pigs, if they do not reply to the message, they are dead pigs

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; Life is so tiring, I feel like falling asleep while standing, I have to queue up to take the bus, I am so exhausted from work... Oh, these It doesn't matter. What makes me most intolerable is that I have to pay for sending text messages to pigs!

gt; gt;

gt; gt;

gt; , I don’t know, but I knew you were a fool. When a fool hears the phone chirp, he must be reading this poem

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; You eat with joy, wreak havoc and wreak havoc, cry out to heaven and earth after falling out of love, pray to heaven and earth when borrowing money, and now you are finally married, thank God

gt;gt;

gt；gt;

gt;gt; Go away and find someone worthy of your love. I don’t know you and your feelings well enough. I know that some things cannot be forced, and some distances cannot be crossed. , just like yesterday, I really can’t believe that you ran away with someone else just for a bone

T.T

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt;Have you had enough to eat today? Did you sleep well? Will it be cold late at night? I really want to stay by your side quietly. I know you never take care of yourself. Whenever I leave, you jump out of the pigpen!

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; I have been thinking about it for a long time, and there is something I have always wanted to say, but I am afraid to bring it to you. Come to hurt, but in order to show my sincerity, I have to say - get up!

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; You are kind like a cat, you are loyal like a dog, you are cute like a bird , you know the way like a horse, you are brilliant like a butterfly, you are diligent like a bee, you are similar in everything, no wonder everyone calls you...animal

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; I have always wanted to ask you a question but I didn’t dare to speak rashly, especially in the quiet and lonely night with so many thoughts that I couldn’t sleep and had to say The message asks you: Do you still wet the bed these days?

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; Yesterday I had a fight with a friend I made a bet and said: There is no one stupider than a pig in the world. As a result, I lost, and it turned out that it was all your fault.

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; Every time I hear you Your calls made me sleepless, and when I saw your hungry eyes, I felt confused. It wasn’t until I satisfied you that I let out a long sigh, alas! Feeding pigs is so troublesome!

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt;Listen! I want to chase you! What I've been looking for is you! I will definitely seize this opportunity! I must chase you till the end! Damn cockroach, I will trample you to death if I catch you.

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; Take a break this week and pay attention to your health.

Be sure to take advantage of this period to exercise more. Goal: sit quietly for 2 hours at sub-zero temperatures without any abnormal reactions and keep smiling

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; If I were the sun, I would give you warmth; if I were a diamond, I would give you eternity; but I am nothing... so I can only give you a harassment. Haha!

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; Being handsome is a sin, I have committed a heinous crime,

Lovely It is a mistake, I have made it again and again,

If I am smart and punished, I should be cut into pieces,

If I am humble and punished, how can I escape the mouth of jealousy

p>

Author: Simple 2004-5-6 21:25 Reply to this statement

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3 Reply: A complete collection of mobile phone text messages! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; I will give you the heaviest gift of shit ever, you must I will eat a pound, but I still need to eat more. If you feel that the amount of stool is not enough, please help yourself!

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; Tips for self-testing vital capacity: After farting, lower your head and inhale sharply, and then observe Do people around you smell any strange smell? If so, you must strengthen your training according to this method; if not, it proves that you are a superman!

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; A man went shopping and needed to urinate in a corner. The old lady saw it and said: The fine for urinating in public is five yuan. This person said: Who said that if I take out my urine and take a look at it, it won’t work?

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; A new overseas travel route - a seven-day tour of Afghanistan has been grandly launched: live in a cave, Learn how to make bombs and escape, and lucky ones may have a chance to take a photo with Bin Laden

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; Love The payment is in arrears, the love has been shut down, and the fate is not in the service area; it is painful to think about it, and sad to think about it. When will the payment be made and the phone will be turned on again? Hengbiao: Dreams come true

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; During the Water Splashing Festival, a person suddenly yelled: Damn it Who splashed me? People advise: Sprinkling you with water is a blessing to you. Scolder: Don't do this, who idiot poured boiling water on me

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; Instructions for jumping off a building: Happy to the seventh floor, panting to the sixth floor, struggling to the fifth floor, disabled to the fourth floor, hospitalized to the third floor, scary to the second floor, and watching the excitement to the first floor.

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; That day you used a knife to chop a pig wildly, and the pig fled into a dead end, only to hear The pig kneels down and begs you for mercy: "We are born from the same roots, so why rush each other?"

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt ;gt; Warning: Due to overload use, your phone has undergone violent internal changes and is about to explode. Please throw your phone away in an empty place immediately after reading this prompt...

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; Please call 110 toll-free and you will win a 15-day value-for-money trip with food and accommodation included, and a special car pick-up will be arranged. The top ten will receive a photo at the detention center. Souvenirs and fist and foot massages for thousands of people.

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; The four ideals of men: money is falling from the sky, and all the beautiful men in the world are dying. The beauty was so brain-dead that she cried and shouted for me to soak her.

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; Read this message, you owe me a hug; delete this message, you owe me A kiss; save this message, you owe me a date; if you reply, you owe me everything; if you don’t reply, you are mine

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; Congratulations on winning the grand prize. Please go to the People's Bank of China with a saber, shotgun, and cannon at 10 o'clock tonight to claim it while masked.

gt; gt;

gt; gt;

gt;gt; For men, twenty is semi-finished product, thirty is finished product, forty is fine product, fifty is top grade, sixty is top grade, Seventy is junk and eighty is souvenir.

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; When the horse is showing off, it jumps and jumps, when the donkey shows off, it brays, men When a woman is flirty, she wants it. When a woman is flirty, she wants it. The most flirtatious one is looking at her phone and laughing.

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; A nun went to the hospital for an ultrasound, and a careless nurse gave her the test sheet of a pregnant woman. After reading it, the nun sighed and said: "These days, even carrots are unreliable."

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt ;gt; A man is not bad, but a bit perverted; a man is not coquettish, but a idiot. If a man is not attentive, he definitely has nerves; if a man is not a gangster, his development is abnormal.

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; Everyone is awake, I am drunk alone, and the most precious thing is to have a clear understanding of my heart. I will never regret meeting true love, and I will only be with you in this life (the secret is in the fifth word of each sentence)

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt;Urgent reminder: Look to your left, then to your right. Please be careful of a psychopath who has just slipped out. His characteristic is: looking around with his mobile phone.

I don’t know, there is no AIDS in the world, men will ejaculate in two strokes.

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; The girl bought a banana, put it in her back pocket after getting on the bus, and reached back to grab it from time to time . After a while, a young man patted her shoulder: Miss, please let go, I'm getting off the car

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; I wish you to be happy every day 365 days a year, happy every moment 8760 hours, wonderful every minute 5256000, and happy every second 31536000.

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; No matter it is sunny, cloudy or rainy, the day I can see you is A sunny day; whether it is yesterday, today, or tomorrow, a day when I can be with you is a beautiful day.

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; A woman blushes five times in her life: for the first time; for the first time with her husband when you are married; when you are not your husband for the first time; when you collect money for the first time; when you pay for the first time.

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; If there are only 10 minutes left in the world, I will recall the ups and downs we have gone through with you; If there are only 3 minutes left in the world, I will kiss you affectionately; If there are only 1 left in the world Minutes, I will say I love you 60 times.

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; I live like this every day: playing ball with Jordan, playing with Tyson Playing boxing, playing chess with Wei Ping, chatting about scandals with Clinton, blowing up buildings with Bin Laden, and texting pigs

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; If your mobile phone is not waterproof, be careful not to laugh so much that your saliva drools on the phone when reading text messages, otherwise it will break!

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt;Riddle: Swans and birds are flying by the lake, and there are no good people walking together. The two trees are not connected by the heart of the forest. If you have no intention, you will fly away first (type four words)... The answer: I miss you very much

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt; gt; 10 persistence 10 missing 10 jealous 10 suspicious 10 sweet 10 distressed 10 happy 10 jealous 10 blushing 10 coquettish = 100 love

Author: Simple 2004-5-6 21:32 Reply to this statement

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4 replies: A complete collection of mobile phone text messages! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; Urgent notice: Polygamy will be restored from now on and will remain the same after two weeks A monogamous man will be sentenced to fixed-term imprisonment of not less than six months and not more than three years, and subject to a heavy fine.

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; The lineup for a certain event in Japan: the male contestants include Masao Kamito and Five Times a Night, and the female contestants The contestants include Umekawa Kuko and Mijun Tokuko. The referee is South Korean social and economic giant Park Sung-sing.

gt;gt;

gt;gt; While the car was parked, he stuck his butt out of the window to defecate. The inspector under the car noticed that he was shouting: The fat man holding a cigar, pull his head back

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt ; Read the following words, and you will get a job with a monthly salary of 2,000,000. The test questions are as follows: 簟璁醭歙艽绱瀑筍恃偬彘偪隥祥琰.

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; There is a kind of tacit understanding called telepathy, a feeling called indescribable, and a kind of happiness. It is called having you by my side, and there is a kind of longing called living like a year

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; Urgent reminder: Tomorrow at 9 a.m. Maybe, there will be a tornado in the southeast of the city. It is expected that mobile phones, banknotes, gold coins and other money and objects will fall. Please be prepared to make a fortune

gt;gt;

gt; gt;

gt; gt; The best person to marry is Xiao Zhao, the best person to make friends is Linghu Chong, the best man to be is Qiao Feng, and the best person to go out is Wei Xiaobao.

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; The steamed buns and noodles fought, and the steamed buns were made to cry, so they went home and called Hanamaki Baozi went to take revenge, but the instant noodles opened the door, and Baozi said: "You have burned your head, and I recognize you too!"

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; Someone said you were a stupid donkey, and I criticized him seriously: That’s outrageous! You can't just say what a person looks like

gt；gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; Hello, yesterday When I turned on my mobile phone and read text messages, I was shocked because I was wearing clothes, and the clothes reacted with static electricity, so I was shocked and passed out all night; when you are reading, you must take off your clothes first to avoid being shocked too!

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; A certain father and goddaughter: when someone is being violated, the top says no, but when someone is being violated, the bottom says stop. One day, his daughter was assaulted from both sides at the same time, and she shouted: "Don't stop!"

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; I wish you smooth sailing, two dragons soaring, three sheep, peace in all seasons, and five blessings. With the seven stars shining high in all directions, wealth will come from all directions, with one heart and perfect, everything will be prosperous and everything will be auspicious.

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt Donor: The color of the underwear you are wearing today is ominous and unlucky, so I hope you will take it off immediately and throw it into the toilet to keep yourself safe. So good, so good

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; Bull: I was scared when I saw the inspection team coming, they were all Love to eat bullwhip. Cow: I'm scared too. I heard that after they ate the bullwhip, they started bragging.

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt;A certain man was buried under the sand enjoying a sand bath. Three beauties came here to change into swimsuits. Suddenly, a beauty screamed: Come and see, there are wild ones too

gt ;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; A beautiful woman walked into a sex shop to buy a vibrator. After choosing for a long time, she finally told the boss: I want the red one over there. . The boss was silent for a while and said: That is a fire extinguisher

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; The young literary woman wrote an article to the professor consult. Professor: There are two prominent points in the first half of this article, which is relatively plump; the middle is mediocre; and the lower half is more frizzy, and it requires a lot of work!

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; Test you: What will happen if all the pigs in the world die overnight? manage? (Name a song)......"At least I still have you"!

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; You look very creative, and living is your courage. It's not your intention to be ugly, it's just that God lost his temper. You have to live bravely, without you, who can set off the beauty of this world

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt ; There is no one who is completely suitable for you, and there is no perfect relationship. Whether we are compatible or not, whether we are perfect or not, both parties need to make sacrifices and create for each other.

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; Looking back five hundred times in the past life, in exchange for passing by in this life. If it were really you, I would like to meet you thousands of times and be able to tell you: "I really want to see you well."

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt;Dear user, your mobile phone number is included in our city’s prize-winning online activities The first prize is 10,000 yuan. Please go to any bank with a pistol to claim it. Password: Do not move

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt;Tang Monk is assigning work under the Flame Mountain: "Wukong went to borrow a banana fan, and Wujing went to find water - Bajie, how come you still have time to read text messages?!"

gt;gt ;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; Tip: Wrap the mobile phone in rice dumpling leaves and cook it in a pot for 30 minutes. The battery standby time of the mobile phone will be doubled. The signal is enhanced, and you can smell the aroma of rice dumplings when making calls.

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; Wish you: Pepsi! Everything is Fanta! Wow haha ??every day! Happy Pepsi every month! Lego every year! Feeling like Sprite! Always eye-catching!

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; Congratulations, the text message you just received will be loaded into World Communications History, because this is the first text message paid by the recipient, and the price is 10,000 yuan!

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; I have known you for so long, and you have always cared about me. I really don’t know. How can I repay you? If I work as a cow or a horse in my next life, I will definitely pull grass for you to eat!

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; A woman urinated outside the car window and peed on a man's head. Pedestrians shouted "Scarface, you can't run away"! Women are busy putting on pants. The passerby shouted again, "I'll recognize you even if you put on a mask."

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; You are so handsome and so cool that it is beyond description. You are the one who bears the blame. Carrying cabbage in hand, you always think that you are the invincible East, but in fact you are the second generation of fools!

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt ;gt; The first line: the male hero, single-handedly braves the bottomless pit; the second line: the female hero, double-sided attack to capture the one-eyed dragon alive. Horizontal comment: Respond to requests

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; You have lacked calcium since you were a child, you have lacked love when you grow up, and you are wearing a sack. With a pot lid on his head, wearing shorts and a belt, shirtless and wearing a tie, who dares to love such a glorious image!

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; In the university cafeteria, a boy wanted to jump in line and said to a beautiful girl: Classmate , can I get in front of you? Girl: I’ve already had one fucked in front of me, so you can fuck me in the back!

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; If you love me, just kiss me. If you don’t love me, I'll just kiss you, okay~~~

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; If God can give me a If I have another chance, I will say three words to that girl: I love you.

If I had to add a time limit to this love, I hope it would be... ten thousand years!

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; Special advice: Pinhole cameras are becoming increasingly common. In order to ensure that your private parts are not If you are being spied on, please keep your clothes on when taking a shower, and don’t take off your underwear to urinate or defecate. Remember, remember!

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt;Three: You have been in close contact with a beautiful woman recently and frequently use mobile phone text messages. If you send another text message with your eyebrows, hundreds of millions of Chinese hunks will become your enemy!

Author: Simple 2004-5-6 21:39 Reply to this statement

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5 Reply: A complete collection of mobile phone text messages! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; I am not perfect, but I am very real. I am not rich, but I am happy; I am not sentimental, but I know how to cherish. Can I add you?

It’s not my fault that I love you, it’s all the moon’s fault.

Please add the following numbers: 21 210 210 59 20=? The result represents my heart, I love you!

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; It really scared me to hear that you were trafficked. Although you have been a child since childhood, , but it is harmless to society. Who is so bold as to sell you? I am really worried for him. It would be strange if he could sell it.

gt;gt;

gt; gt;

gt; gt; When the ugly girl turned around, she scared a cow to death; When the ugly girl turned around twice, the Yellow River waterfall flowed backwards; When the ugly girl turned around three times, Tyson switched to playing table tennis!

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; When the girls in our college turned around, the secretary and dean jumped off the building, when the girls in our college turned around again, the water of the Yangtze River If we want to turn back the clock, the girls in our hospital will look back three times. We don’t have to worry about taking back Taiwan.

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; The handsome guys online will look back. , a herd of cows on the roadside! The handsome men on the Internet turn around twice, the beauties on the Internet smile once, Bush dances with Bin Laden in his arms, the beauties on the Internet smile twice, the Internet computers are burned, the beauties on the Internet smile three times, global nuclear weapons

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; As soon as the beauty online opened her mouth, Bush held Bin Laden's hand, then the beauty online opened her mouth for the second time, all the bandits around the world surrendered, the beauty online opened her mouth three times, the moon and the earth walked sideways

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; When the ugly girl turns around, she scares the third floor; When the ugly girl turns around twice, the Yellow River The water of the Yangtze River flows backward; the ugly girl turns back three times, and Halley's comet hits the earth!

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; The four major Ideal 4 My four ideals: having more money than I want, being able to hug all kinds of beauties; having fun all over the world, not having to work but sleeping

gt; gt;

gt ;gt;

gt;gt; The third of the four ideals The four ideals of men: money is falling from the sky, and all the handsome guys are disabled; the beautiful women’s heads are rusted, and they are crying and asking me to have sex. .

There is no money in the pocket.

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; Smoking countless times and drinking until I vomited. Driving into a tree and slow-walking on the dance floor. Everyone thinks you are cool, but in fact, you can’t even move when you see a beautiful woman.

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; You laugh when you see bones, and you jump over the wall when you are anxious. When a stranger comes, scream at the top of your lungs, it’s so good for humans to have you!

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; If you must compare with a pig, I think you are different from it in at least two points: 1. You can eat it better than it can. 2. It’s smarter than you.

gt; gt;

gt; gt;

gt; Come in and take off your belt skirt; horizontal comment: Heaven and earth are righteous.

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; Ah! Your skin is so shiny, your fragrance is so irresistible, let me bite you hard, my dear - braised pork

gt;gt;

gt ;gt;

gt;gt;Compare you to a pig, and the pig will cry to me. Ask why? You are worse than a pig.

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; The future is bright, but the road is tortuous. The work is easy, and you can make money. is difficult. Falling in love is easy, getting along is difficult.

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; Although you don’t You have the appearance of a pig, but you definitely have the temperament of a pig!!!

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; You are ancient A kind of weapon - sword (cheap)!

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; Tang Monk was assigning work under the Flame Mountain: "Wukong went to borrow the banana fan, and Wujing went to find it. Shui - Bajie, how come you still have time to read text messages?

gt;gt;

gt;gt;

gt;gt; First line? : Fake name, fake surname, fake address. Second line: cheating on food, cheating on drinks, cheating on feelings.

gt; gt;

gt;

gt；gt; Steamed buns are valuable, and steamed buns are more expensive. If you have roasted pork ribs, you can throw away both.

gt;gt;

gt;gt; 6 to 9 says to walk, why do you have to stand on your head, 0 to 8 says to be fat, why do you need to wear a belt, 7 to 2 says to propose, just propose.