A complete set of relaxed and interesting phrases

1, your words haunt my mind. You are really the only one for me. You are the only person I hate most.

Can you give me a chance? In a population of more than 5 billion, it is fate to get to know each other. This fate is the blessing I have accumulated for generations. I don't want to waste it. Give me a chance to hit you.

I haven't heard from you for hundreds of millions of seconds. I've looked everywhere. We have been to ponds and huts, but I can't find you. How did such a big pig get lost?

I heard that your mouse moved and the fly was sent to the hospital. Just now I met your cockroach in the supermarket to buy a freshener, and the bug bought incense! Dude, wash your feet!

5, I am willing to take care of your life, I am willing to care about your three meals, I am willing to protect you from bullying, but please can you go back to the pigsty first?

6. I miss you like a pumpkin, love you like a cucumber, smell your golden cantaloupe and kiss your cantaloupe. Hate you as a cucumber, eat you as a watermelon, call you a melon, and call you a fool.

7. If I am riding a horse, you can call me a groom. If I am driving, you can call me a coachman; If I am in charge of accounting, what should you call me?

8. Dating my girlfriend, I saw someone in front who looked like my girlfriend, so I went up and took a picture. She slapped me as soon as she turned her head. Then someone patted me on the shoulder ... My girlfriend slapped me as soon as I turned my head.

9, the sun is shining, you are wandering around the city with your travel bag on your back, and finally you can't help but be full of sadness and shout at the top of your lungs: the cans are closed!

10, little fool and March 8th, March 8th like little fool, and fools don't like rotten March 8th (next88). So they had a big fight. Alas? The person reading the text message is a big fool!

1 1, dear! When I ride my bike uphill, what I miss most is the motivation you gave me. I have you in the back seat of my car, and going uphill is full of pleasure, as long as you fart!

12, no flowers, no tree height, I am an unknown grass, growing for thousands of years, just to hold your feet when you pass by-small sample, I can't trip you!

13, you are walking around, shopping and being slaughtered, your wife has another love, and your son has been abducted. In fact, you are handsome, but your IQ is poor. A Dai serves pickles!

14, the happiest thing in life is that I can do things that others can't. For example, I can send text messages to scold you, but you don't know who I am, hahaha!

15, starting from tomorrow, the city has decided to drive away all ugly and mentally retarded young people who are detrimental to the city appearance! Hurry up and pack your things, go out for shelter from the rain, and don't tell anyone that I informed you, remember! You are welcome!

16, it is difficult to charge the mobile phone battery after it is used for more than 2 years. Soaking in 50% alkaline water can prolong the service life and maintain the new battery.

17, long hair ignored, dirty clothes were not washed, beard was messy, and the image was gender-neutral. He slept until noon and never wanted to win. Who is it? It is you!

18, being single is actually not bad. Being single is purely accidental. Because of single-minded love, girls are invisible. It looks a little funny, but it's usually gray. He has a decent style and has not yet been corrupted. Singles Day is not bad, just because I love you so much!

19. Happiness is around you at dawn, sunshine smiles in your heart, and sunset and western hills accompany you all day. I sincerely wish you a happy birthday! Happy forever!

20. When I was down and out, you were by my side; You were by my side when I was sick and injured; When I am frustrated in love, you are still by my side! Bad luck with you.

2 1. Do you know how pigs died? Lazy as hell. Do you know how a fucking bear died? Stupid. Do you know how you died? I am so angry.

22, we sit together face to face, few words, you try to touch, I also try to touch, feel special. Suddenly, you shout, Hu!

Starting from tomorrow, the municipal government has decided to eliminate all the mentally retarded young people who are ugly and detrimental to the city! Pack your things and go out for refuge. Don't say I informed you, remember! You're welcome.

24, shaped like an ape, with five tones; Smells like durian and the underwear is sticky; Half-disabled height, no right and no money; The object should be hung up, and no one is pitiful; Ask me what to do, go home and farm.

25, the supermarket to find someone: carry heavy objects, hide your face and cry. The crowd searched for him for thousands of Baidu, but that fellow lined up in the supermarket.

26. Are you lonely? If so, go downstairs and buy a rope and a stick, tie the rope to the stick, and go to the roof to wave the stick when it is windy. What do people want to ask you? Just say: I'm crazy!

27. You visit the pasture. When the cow saw it, she ran away. Puzzled, the calf caught up with him and asked, Mom, why are you running? The cow replied: that man can blow too much!

28. Do you have electricity there? Now watch CCTV 1. The White House was bombed and the whole building collapsed, killing 30,000 people, of whom 1 was cheated.

29. Do you know why we are predestined friends? We knew each other as early as 1000 years ago. It was autumn, and you ran with me in the wind, leaving your teeth marks on me. This has become an eternal story. At that time, my name was Lv Dongbin.

30. Yours is mine and mine is mine. You don't need mine. I only use yours. I used up yours. You go your way and I'll go mine.

3 1. Look horizontally, vertically, left, right, up, down, front, back, inside and outside ... Alas, I finally understand that yours is really nothing!

32. If the charming star in the sky represents a person, then the star is you, and it looks like you. Go and have a look. Now it has landed on the ground of the zoo.

Money is a useful thing, but it will bring you happiness only when you feel satisfied. So you have to give me the extra money: don't move, rob!

34. Staring at your lonely figure on the roadside, I suddenly have an impulse. I know, it's love that drives me to go forward and pick you up in the trash can.

35. It is rare for you to spend money, so spend it well. Pay my mobile phone fee first, then my water and electricity fee, winter heating fee, and then this information fee.

I was deeply attracted by you the first time I saw you. I have an impulse to take you home. I long to hold you to sleep every night. When I wake up in the morning, I can see you beside me ... pillow.

37. Broken houses with three rooms and one acre of thin land. No wife is a cold pot and a hot stove This medicine won't leave the mouth all year round. Today, I want to find a girlfriend by SMS. It's the dog who reads the text messages.

38. Because of thirst, God created water; Because of darkness, God created fire; Because I need friends, God sent you to me, so God lost that bucket of rice!

39. New method of mobile phone maintenance: put the mobile phone into a basin of clean water within 5 seconds after each turn-on 10 minute, and the service life of the mobile phone will be doubled.

40, look up and down, look around, you are obviously the cutest beauty, abbreviation: poor unloved mold!

4 1, I have been friends with you for so long, and you have always cared about me, but I often give you trouble. I really don't know how to repay you. Therefore, in the next life, if you are a cow and a horse, I will definitely pull weeds for you to eat.

42. For you, I can spend nine days on the moon, and I can catch turtles in five oceans. Because you are the moon that day, and the turtle at the bottom of the sea!

43, holding 998, like a big fool. Ericsson is in hand, and he is not strong. With the new Samsung, I'm already crazy. Siemens in hand, no paper.

44. Missing notice: You have been away for several days. Please pay attention when you see the notice. You have become the target of missing. Open your arms quickly to meet my missing heart.

45. Shake your hair three times and see what happens to the screen of your mobile phone. Don't you see any difference? Take a closer look! Yes! Your dandruff is all over the screen!

46. I am really sorry today. I didn't take care of my Wang Cai and let him shit in front of your house, which made you eat a catty as soon as you opened the door.

47. If it is just a gust of wind, it is so eternal; If it's just an understatement, but it's so strong, now I have to boldly confess to you: say hello before farting!

48. Your home is out of power, and you hit the table in the dark. In this case, do you blame yourself for being careless or the table is wrong? In short, are you a monster or a freak?

49, love disease: unrequited love is depression; Stuttering at the beginning of love; Hyperactivity disorder in late love; Extramarital amnesia; Lovelorn, manic, intermittent self-mutilation.

50. Sign in at eight o'clock to draw circles, have tea at nine o'clock, read daily newspaper circles at ten o'clock, surround the hotel at noon, play mahjong four times in the afternoon, and the masses do things in circles!

5 1. The mule was invited to the meeting, which accidentally made everyone fart. The animals all laughed, but think about it, you have never heard a mule fart. In fact, mules are also thinking about this problem.

52, miss you, every night for you, I will accumulate a meteor, and finally gather into this meteor shower ... sample, I don't believe it can't kill you!

53. When I opened the door early in the morning, I met a man. The pockmarked face is very scary. It is as big as a star and as small as the moon. Half a catty that is neither too big nor too small, that is, you, still look. Stupid!

54. Have you ever heard of it? It took 500 times to look back to the past to let this life pass. Friends like us didn't do anything in our last life, just turned around!

I saw you in the street that day. You are with someone. I saw at a glance that he was not a good man. He has been slapping you behind your back. I was very angry and said to him, stop the donkey driver in front!

56. We had a wonderful time together, and you accompanied us in happy moments. You left without saying hello, leaving a pool of shit on the ground!

57. Worship heaven and earth, exhausted by his wife. Second, worship Gao Tang and work hard for her; Husband and wife respect each other as guests, and then tighten their belts; Into the bridal chamber, I knelt on her bed and scrubbed. Hey! I am a sheep and she is a wolf.

58. Your gentleness is like an angel coquetry, your beauty is like a stunning peacock, your thoughtfulness is like a rheumatism paste attached to your heart, and your eyes are like lovely giant pandas.

59. Happiness is not afraid of dullness, even if time is like electricity; Dreams are not afraid of being far away, even if hope is like smoke; Friendship is not afraid of time, even though missing is like a thread. Send this message, one is to contact feelings, and the other is that you still owe me a meal. See you when you invite me.

60. Although a wall separates you from me, it can't separate my heart that I miss you. I really miss you ... I want to knock you over the wall!

6 1, because of you, the world becomes dark. Because of you, I can only look around, oh, damn fly, you are reading the message.

62. Wooden furniture, scholars know poetry, people think about money, talents practice, women want figure, geniuses send messages, and fools read text messages.

63. You are the brightest star in my sky, Sangmenxing; You are the most beautiful god in my heart, without spirit; You are the messenger I worship, and you have no shit to squeeze!

64. When it's hot, send you an electric fan, and happiness will revolve around you. Send you an air conditioner, only you cool others sigh; Send you an ice cream, your mouth is sweeter than your smile; I say hello to you and let you cook. This is called reciprocity. Remember to be there or in the square!

65. The night is long, and the solitary pillow is hard to sleep. Send a message to wish you a good dream tonight. But I guess you won't see it right away, because pigs are usually sleeping now!

66. The river is accompanied by wild flowers, old trees are sitting on the hillside, and there are many stars in the sky. You must have me in your dream: 5 million, did you win?

Looking at the warm sunshine and gentle breeze outside, I can't help thinking of you again. You are so special and striking. Go out streaking again!

Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, there was an idiot. He is so stupid that when people ask him any questions, he just shakes his head or answers "No". Have you heard this story?

69. Find some leisure, find some time and take a bomb to the bank. The police prepared a pair of handcuffs and the warden arranged a blanket. The troubles of life, talk to the warden, talk to the police about the details of the crime!

70. You put on a rag, take a toad step, pick up the railway during the day and steal the ancient tomb at night; I know you want to learn from the ashes of time! At best, he is a beggar gang leader.

7 1, raising a large family requires wages, raising a small one outside requires foreign capital, working hard all day, running around all day, laughing on both sides, and exhausted.

72. Fatal hobbies: drink a little wine to deny six parents, smoke a cigarette and die together, play mahjong day and night, dance until you are exhausted, and brag until you don't believe it.

73. If you keep texting and scolding me, I'll sue you for harassment and abuse! I broke your mobile phone, so you can't send text messages. It's useless You can't live a trusting life!

74. What is bright is sunshine; The red one is a lantern; Hot, hot pot; * * * spicy, it is spirits; Crisp, it's you ... You got an electric shock again, haha, I told you not to read the text messages!

75. Donor: The color you are wearing today is ominous and unfavorable. I hope you can take it off immediately and throw it in the toilet to ensure safety. Good, good.

76. Don't open a gold shop to commit adultery and violate the law and discipline into the classroom; It's sad not to open a pharmacy or a shop and become a loser. I'm not talking about you. The man is looking at his mobile phone.

77. Give you a little sunshine and you will be brilliant; Give you a little flood, and you will flood. A broken jar has its own broken lid, and an ugly ghost has its own ugly love. As long as love is as deep as the sea, Asako can shine!

78. Mahjong, poker, Jinhua, go home if you lose. The ancient road, the west wind and the thin horse are heartbroken.

79. Don't laugh after reading the information. Smile is a Beijing dog. Don't be upset after reading the information. When you are bored, be a big buffalo. If you don't laugh or get annoyed, you are a fool!

80, say you are happy, your brain is bad; Say you are too handsome, you are like a vinegar cabbage; Say you love too much, your heart has gone bad, hold the beauty in your arms!

8 1, give you sunshine and you will be brilliant; Give you moonlight, and you will be romantic; Give you a flood, and you will flood; Give you darkness, and you're finished!

82, you scold me, I bow my head, your wife gave birth to a nest of monkeys, skipping and giggling after reading the information!

83, no matter the ends of the earth, I will follow you closely; No matter the seas run dry and the rocks crumble, I will always be with you. I want to shout out three words to let the world know: pay back the money quickly!