I am bored and want to see some classic jokes. Thank you, God help me.

Joke always: 1. The woman is ugly and can't get married, hoping to be abducted. Finally, my dream came true, but I couldn't sell it for half a month. The kidnapper sent him back, but she insisted on not getting off. The kidnapper gritted his teeth and stamped his feet: Let's go, don't want the car. 2.20 years ago, dad held you waiting for the bus. Everyone laughed at the ugly child, and dad cried. An old man selling bananas patted his father and said, "Don't cry, big brother, give the monkey a banana!" " ! Poor thing, I'm so hungry that I have no hair. "Classic joke 1. A pig said to another pig, "People say we are pigs, so let's break up!"! "2. The kid next door finally vowed to lose weight-at the graduation job fair, someone said to him," Sorry, buddy, you blocked my cell phone signal ~ "3. Editor: You want to write a miniature martial arts novel, which not only breaks the secular ethics, but also contains many years of grievances between Jianghu sects. At the same time, the plot is still very suspense, and there are still many blood and tears to shed. The next day, there were only ten words in the full text: bald donkey! How dare you rob the teacher of originality ~ 4. A freshman got his bag when he got off the train in Harbin. Frustrated, I saw someone waving to him not far away. By the time he got there, the man had disappeared, leaving only the wallet he had just pulled out on the ground. Freshmen hurriedly opened it and found that besides money, ID cards, bank cards, especially freshman registration cards, and other things were still there. There was a line of chalk on the ground next to it: Although life is difficult, thieves also have a way! When I went shopping, I found a shop full of all kinds of clothes. On the glass at the door, there are stickers: big reward for opening a shop, high-grade suit 30 yuan, shirt 5 yuan. I am inexplicably happy: I finally caught up with such a good thing! So I rushed in, and I looked up at the moment I entered the door: dry cleaner! 6. I went to school to get my diploma today. When I was excited, I grabbed a passing buddy and asked, "Hey, what's the name of this school again? The buddy gave me a hard look and said, "How should I know?" I'm only a freshman! ""7. After a hard and busy day, I always have a little expectation when I go back to my nest to open the door every night-suddenly a man jumps out from behind the door and smiles and covers my eyes. Of course, it's impossible. If there is, it may be a thief! ~ 8. At the beginning of freshman year, a buddy came to our dormitory with his luggage on his back. He asked the boss who slept in the lower berth, "No one lives in your upper berth, right?" The boss didn't care in a daze, and casually replied: "No!" Hearing this, the elder brothers tried their best to throw a big bag of luggage on the upper berth-as a result, there was no bed board on the upper berth! 9. One day, a man met God ... God suddenly showed great kindness and planned to give him a wish ... God asked ... Do you have any wishes ... The man thought about it ... I heard that cats have nine lives ... Please give me nine lives ... God said ... Your wish came true ... One day, this man was idle and bored ... He wanted to say death. The weasel is angry! Blow on my ass and say to everyone, smell my ass? Laozi is a petrochemical system! After the two mice got married, the mother mouse became more and more arrogant. One night, the male mouse wanted to scare her, so he went to the door to learn to meow. His wife was not afraid, but said softly, "Mao Ge, stop screaming. My husband hasn't gone on a business trip yet." 3. A big mouse strayed into a flower shop and was chased by a Xiaohua Mall. When he found that there was no way out, he picked up a bunch of roses to prepare for low resistance. Xiaohua Mall saw it and bowed his head at once. 4. Party A and Party B commented that Hua Mulan joined the army. A: This story is definitely false. Eating, drinking and sleeping together will definitely be seen through! B: Stupid! If you share a bunk with her, will you report it? ? 5. Chief: Hello, comrades! Soldier: Hello, sir! The chief patted a soldier's chest and said, how well this muscle is trained! Soldier: Sir, I'm a female soldier. 6. A peasant woman was counting tall buildings when a liar came over: How many floors did she count? All right, every floor, 5 yuan. Peasant women:15th floor. After paying the money, the bystander said: idiot. Peasant woman: He is stupid. Actually, I counted eighteen floors. 7. There is an ugly girl who has never been married and wants to be trafficked. One day, her dream finally came true and she was kidnapped. The kidnapper thought she was ugly and sent her back to her original place. The woman insisted on not getting off the bus. The kidnapper gnashed his teeth and said, let's go. We don't want the car. 8. In the shade of the hospital, a couple are hugging and kissing. A doctor saw it and went over to the man and said, "You are so confused. You should put her flat on the ground for artificial respiration. Go away and let me do it. " 9. My son sleeps with his mother every night. Mom said: when you grow up, you marry a daughter-in-law and sleep with your mother? A: Yes. Mom said, what about your wife? The son said, let her sleep with her father. Dad said excitedly after listening: this child has been sensible since childhood! 10. Three mice tasted the wine from the United States, Japan and China, but the American one fell three times and the Japanese one fell two times. China Erguotou raised his kitchen knife and shouted, "Where's the fucking cat?"