Joke "treat"

When I was a child, my brother asked me what time it was, and I replied: three poles (half past three)!

Once, I weighed myself at home and asked my girlfriend, how much is 47 kilograms?

The first thing I used to say when I went back to the dormitory was, "Did anyone call me ..."

In high school, my classmates and I went to a restaurant. I ordered a few dishes, and I still want to add something.

I was going to say scrambled eggs with tomatoes. I don't know what happened, but what I blurted out was-tomatoes fried with tomatoes. The boss thought for a long time. ...

Once I had dinner with my cousin at home, I accidentally poured the soup and used up all the tissues. Cousin shouted "Hurry up, hurry up, go to the toilet paper".

The thing at the same table fell to the ground, bent down to pick it up, and occasionally stepped on it with his foot. As a result, he stepped on his hand and he was furious: "Dare to step on my foot?" ! "

At a literary evening, the host came to the stage and announced: Please enjoy the following: Xinjiang song and dance, lift your skull!

Creepy! ! ! ! !

The exam score is very low, and I complain bitterly: my score is too cheap!

Tigers don't send cats, you think I'm dying!

When I was in high school, the classroom discipline was very chaotic. In a rage, the teacher picked up XX and said, XX, stand on the wall for me!

Once, a foreign teacher showed Mandarin in a big classroom. I wanted to give him a face and praise his standard of Putonghua, but it became your standard when I said it.

There were many people in the restaurant, and I shouted: Boss, a pepper without seasoning.

The waiter also loudly repeated: 1 1 table, add a pepper without seasoning! ! !

Me: That's our physics teacher.

Classmate: What do you teach?

Me: Chemistry.

In the internet cafe, a classmate suddenly raised his hand and shouted, "teacher!" " "

Once, everyone was evaluating the back of a beautiful woman in front. I meant to say "her legs are thick", but I said "her soil is brittle" ...

My mother said to me before going out to play mahjong, "You put all your clothes in the refrigerator and put all your dishes in the washing machine."

When you are sitting in a restaurant, just make a phone call and the stationmaster will serve you.

One day I MM went out shopping!

Suddenly I saw a crow croaking in the sky!

Then a word popped out of her mouth: "This black frog barks like a green crow.

In high school, the national flag was raised every Monday, and then someone spoke, mainly some daily behavior norms.

Once, I was honored to give a speech and accidentally read "Don't make noise in the theater" as "Don't make noise in the brothel". At that time, all the teachers and students were present, and there were many school leaders. I am so cold.

When I read a text in junior high school, it was XX wandering in the corridor, while I read XX debauchery in the corridor ... The teacher blushed.

In high school, I went out to play with my classmates. There is a China Everbright Bank near the school, which has just opened.

So there is still a piece of red cloth hanging on the signboard ... but the cloth is hung on the Chinese characters, and the characters are blocked ... I read it as "China Everbright Bank" ... My classmates are crazy with laughter, and I can't lift my head for several years!

One person in our dormitory drank too much urine and then brought out a cold sentence: too much urine and too much wine.

Once I listened to the radio, what was the shopping guide hotline? Someone called in and the host asked him, "What's your name?"

He replied, "Don't take your name!"

Buy oranges, boss: 1.5 1 kg. Me: It's too expensive, five yuan and three Jin. Boss: no, no.

When reading the text in junior high school, the soldiers' joy of victory was beyond words: "We just want to set up a monument for everyone! (commemorative coin) "

References:

Posts on the forum