Who can tell me some stories, fables or jokes?

1. Once I went out to dinner with my girlfriend and spent 95 yuan. When I checked out, I found that I didn't have my wallet.

Fortunately, my buddy works nearby, so I called him quickly, and then I went to borrow money from him and left my girlfriend as a hostage in the restaurant.

As a result, I borrowed 100 in a rage, and when I came back to check out, my girlfriend ordered another cup of 17 milk tea.

Sister, are you so thirsty? !

I received a letter from my friend recently. There are five lottery tickets in the envelope, all scratched, revealing the numbers.

The letter said, "I bought you some lottery tickets as a New Year gift ... but you didn't win the prize."

There are a lot of people vaccinating at the epidemic prevention station, so they invited veterinarians to help. We happened to know each other, and he came to give me an injection.

I said, "Wow, your movements are very gentle. I don't feel pain at all. "

He said, "Be gentle. My patient will bite. "

4. Female: "I want to complain that the nurses in your hospital call names."

Doctor: "Who scolded you?"

Woman: "The nurse told me just now that after abdominal surgery, you have to be exhausted before you can eat."

I asked her what exhaust was, and she said' nonsense'. "

My father loves me like a family.

2. These children who have just grown wings.

Maybe this mood belongs to Mao Dun. (Not Lao She's. )

Take me for example, I was born with the disintegration of the Soviet Union. Of course, its disintegration has nothing to do with me.

9000 years ago, the great poet Su Shi once said ...

6. Madame Curie tried to absorb the thunder element in lightning.

7. Under my repeated questioning, you said the word "uncomfortable".

8. 12 study hard at the cold window in order to realize your dream today and become an eagle fighting the sky and a howling wolf. (Being a wolf is enough, still screaming).

9. With the signing of the treaty by Li Hongzhang, the dignity of an ancient nation was completely lost. China was silent, but the post-90s generation appeared.

10, life is changing at an alarming rate.

1 1. Maybe we are spoiled now, but we will not die immediately in the face of wind and rain.

12. Opportunities rained on me, but I flashed by.

13, butterflies are a flash in the pan.

14. People are full of hope in the past and in the future. In the past, there were praises and denials. In the future, there are firmness and confusion. What will the future be like?

15, I haven't been in the kitchen, and I can't tell the difference between oil, salt, sauce, vinegar and tea.

16, they, they, they died in the face of their choices without regret.

17, how many post-80s volunteers had a cruel day to look around Beijing's health for the honor of their country.

18, wandering in the hands of loving mother, where are you going?

The glass seems to be magnanimous, but in fact it is silently guarded.

2. The bridge envies the brilliance and lightness of the rainbow, and the rainbow envies the liveliness and prosperity of the bridge.

People who brag never worry about whether cowhide will be blown out, because they know there are too many cowhide to blow out in the world.

4. Paving stones are unwilling to pave the road silently, and when they pursue propaganda, they become a stumbling block.

Umbrella can shelter people from the wind and rain, but it can never create a clear sky for people.

6. It is precisely because the face is too unreliable that people turn to like the unchanging mask.

7. Some people applaud warmly on the surface and want to give people a few slaps.

8. The glory of the past can be used to prove the greatness of the present, but the backwardness of the past can also be used to prove the glory of the present.

9. My gift is to use the same cleverness as others in different places.

10, lively but people look at people, anxious but people wait for people, uncomfortable but people miss people, warm but people help people, moving but people hurt people. ...

1 1. It is better to be friends than to be congenial, and friendship is better than deep feelings.