If you can please your wife.

Humor routines that make your wife happy. Many times, some boys always make his wife angry because of various things. When his wife is angry or unhappy, he should make her laugh or say some sweet words to get her out of depression. The following are humorous routines to amuse your wife.

Humor routine 1 If you make your wife happy. First, make women happy.

1, in the human body class of the Academy of Fine Arts, a girl angrily threw her pen on the ground and reprimanded the male model: I am old and young, but I don't want others to draw!

2, the priest played golf, the nun watched, the first shot missed, the priest scolded: "TMD, missed!" " Hit again, the priest scolded again: "TMD, missed again!" " The nun said, "God will punish you for swearing as a priest. "

As soon as the voice fell, a thunder chopped the nun to death. The priest wondered: Why am I the one who cursed? Why should I chop a nun to death? At this time, I only heard the voice of God from the sky: "TMD, I also missed!" " "

My wife spent a lot of money on plastic surgery and turned into a beautiful woman to go home in a few days! When he came in, he said to his puzzled husband, "What's the matter? Don't know me? " The husband paused, then said in surprise, "Come in quickly, my wife is not at home."

The 4.7-year-old niece insisted on taking a bath with the 20-year-old adult and said, "Aunt, why are your breasts so small?" I sweated wildly: "Not small, how small!" My little niece gave me a pitiful look and said, "Nothing, mine is small, too."

A woman said to her cheating husband: If you dare to divorce and marry that little demon, I will marry that demon's father. From now on, my son will call you brother-in-law and you will call me mother! My husband fainted on the spot, and since then he has behaved himself …

6. The old man distributed his inheritance before he died. He said to his eldest son, "Your daughter-in-law is going to give birth soon. I'll leave you my passbook." He said to his second son, "You are getting married soon. I will leave you the house." .

Finally, I said to my youngest son, "I don't trust you the most." I don't have a girlfriend yet, so I will leave you the most precious legacy. " The younger son was secretly pleased, and the old man said, "There are more than 300 young girls in my (q)q friends column, and the number is ..."

7. One day, my brother went to the primary school attached to Normal University to play basketball. He heard a junior girl ask a junior boy on the playground, "Do you love me or not?" The boy said helplessly, "My mother gives me 3 yuan a day, and 2.5 yuan is for you to buy snacks. Do you think I love you or not? "

8. A girl saved money and bought a brand-name bag and gave it to her companion excitedly: "Look at these two letters, LV! Did you see it? " The companion said, "gee, is this pinyin?" I learned it in primary school, donkey.

9. Every time a wife quarrels with her husband, she has to go to the toilet for half a day. This happens more often. Her husband asked her curiously, "What are you doing in the toilet? It seems very Japanese? " The wife said, "Brush the toilet! "The husband asked," Can I brush the toilet to get rid of the gas? " The wife said, "I don't know, it's all your toothbrush anyway." "

Ten words that make women happy

1. Although you are not beautiful enough, you are not particularly beautiful. When I first saw you, I was deeply attracted by you, because your temperament is unique.

Although you often say that I can only say some nice words to you, these nice words are also my thoughts. If you are not the one I love, how can I try to make you happy?

I love you, I love you, I love you, I have to say 1000 words to you every day to express my love for you.

4. Why don't you contact for a day? What do you feel missing? Is it because I can't live without you?

Every time I hear the most romantic thing, I want to make a rocking chair with you.

There is a good romantic movie recently. Let's go and see it, because I think the protagonist in it is very similar to our feelings.

7, love you to the bone, love you to death, this is my promise to you.

8. This man said that I can't give you anything yet, but I have given you all my love.

9. I love you as mice love rice. I love you, even if the seas run dry and the rocks crumble.

10, why? Just smile at me and I'll hit a deer.

Humor routine 2 1, before marriage, you drink coke, I drink milk, I eat radish, you eat cabbage, you like shopping, I am willing to go shopping; Drink cola and eat cabbage after marriage, and accompany you to the mall several times a day; Change for you, love me and love me!

2. Wife ... I'm really stupid. You are angry, and I don't know how to cheer you up. But you are really the most beautiful woman in my heart, with the gentlest temper, the best food, the brightest mop, the cleanest clothes and the best housekeeper. I am really lucky to marry you!

3. Robber: "Don't move, money belongs to the country, and life is your own!" " Everyone lay silent. Little robber: "Boss, let's count how much we robbed."

4. In this world, love is holding, Lu Yu is holding, hearts are connected, feelings follow you, you are brave, persistent, love remains unchanged, you are more concerned, dedicated, and unswerving, and it is you who are doomed by heaven, have a happy marriage and strive for happiness. Less words, no less reason, mental memory, and love.

5. I miss you at work and am full of enthusiasm; I miss you at rest, gentle and sweet; I miss you when I succeed, full of enthusiasm; Miss you when you are frustrated and increase your motivation. Honey, I miss you!

6. Take care of you all your life and treat you well all your life. Can I have this chance? ",it must be that you will really be good to her, don't be a giant of language and a dwarf of action. Wish you success!

7, love is like a wire, you are the metal core, I am the insulation layer, without me, your tender feelings like fire will definitely electrocute a group of handsome guys, all of whom are cerebral thrombosis and shivering. Just to be on the safe side, let me hold you for life.

8. Sincere feelings are silent, deep love is sweet, loving a person is happy, thinking of a person is warm, and holding her (his) hand is happy. Will you hold my hand this Valentine's Day?

9. I am a satellite that always revolves around you. My life will always run on your track, not only rejected by you, but also attracted by you! Dear, this is the eternal beautiful and unchangeable connection between us!

10, I miss you once every heartbeat until my life stops and my heart stops beating! I love you! You are my heart, you are my liver and you are three quarters of my life. You are my stomach, you are my lungs, and you are the red rose in my heart! When the color of the city has faded and the roses have turned to dust, my heart can't hide even at night. You make me homesick!

1 1, "You are an incompetent friend" and "Why don't you change careers and be my boyfriend?"

12, "I'm a little depressed" "What's the matter?" "I haven't seen you all day."

13, "Do you know what you look like?" "Like what?" "Attract me like the earth"

14, If the night is too difficult, then I will accompany you upside down day and night.

15, "I may have missed your past" and "I hope you don't miss my future"

Humor routine 3 1 I find that you are a liar, and you are much more beautiful than the photo.

2. Here comes the meeting: the leader speaks and takes the lead in applauding. Lead the singer and tune up. The leader took a bath and scratched his back. The leader picks up the girls and stands guard.

3. After the liberation of the old four and six winds, the Fokker equivalent plane with general Fei's trouser legs was established immediately. You got it? A pig is also wondering?

4. Every time I am frustrated, I will recall your little smile and your encouragement, so that I can face it firmly. Thank you!

6. There are dreams during the day and dreams at night. You should take care of yourself, don't catch a cold and have a runny nose; If I sneeze occasionally, it means I miss you!

7. Starlight accompaniment, playing the most beautiful love songs for you with heartstrings, traveling through time and space, lingering the years; Surrounded by mountains and rivers, I will take the most beautiful photos for you with my true feelings and keep them for a lifetime, sweet years.

8. I don't want to say that you broke the pixel of the camera. Everything you shoot is mosaic-free.

Dear wife, do you still remember the happy times when we were young? I haven't sent you flowers for a long time. You've been working hard for your family. I came to send you a bunch of flowers by text message. Honey, you have worked hard!

10 "I have something on my mind every day" and "I miss you"

1 1. In this woman's day, I have something to tell you, which I have always wanted to tell you, and that is-I have two lives: once I was born and once I met you!

12, with heavy work pressure every day. You can do your work beautifully by commuting on time. Honey, I will support you no matter how hard and tired you are. Do a good job!

13. Congratulations on winning the grand prize. Please come to China People's Bank with sabers and shotguns at 0: 00 tonight/KLOC-0: 00.

14, "Have you ever met anything that makes you laugh and cry?" "You can't cry or laugh."

15, the minimum goal of college students: peasant women, mountain springs, and a little field.