I want a joke! ! Funny and a bit YY jokes! ! It has to be funny! ! urgent! !

1. The fox got into the chicken coop and ate three chickens in one go. He stopped when he couldn't hold himself any longer. When it tried to slip out through the hole in the wall, it got stuck. Looking at the night watch dog getting closer and closer, the fox said to himself: "It was greed that killed me."

The night watch dog heard the fox's lament and commented: "Your reflection is very profound. However, if I let you out, you will make the same mistake next time."

2. Leopards and hyenas hunt together. Every time it catches prey, the leopard devours it all by itself, leaving only a few bones for the hyena to chew on.

The coyote protested: "Since we are a partnership, we should distribute the prey equally."

The leopard said: "When you deal with me, the biggest thing is that you can live in peace." It’s equal. And I can leave you a few bones, which can be considered a kindness!”

3. After the fox took the meat from the crow’s mouth, the crow scolded the fox every time he saw it! The fox is a liar.

Once, the fox said to the crow: "Mrs. crow, you don't need to be so indignant about the word 'liar'. In fact, you are also a complete liar yourself. How about your own singing voice? Everyone knows it, but after hearing other people’s praises, you really think you are a singer. Aren’t you also a liar who deceives the world? Of course, you are deceiving yourself first.”

4 , the shrimp happened to come to a well. The water here is crystal clear, extremely sweet, and the food is abundant.

The shrimp thought to himself, I discovered this well. I want to completely occupy it, and I cannot attract other shrimps.

So, despite countless opportunities to go out and make friends, this shrimp has never gone out.

After a while, the shrimp died of old age, and the well was still like the well before, without a single shrimp.

5. In the cold winter, an injured sparrow huddled at the foot of the wall, almost freezing.

The cow saw the injured sparrow, came over, and reluctantly plucked a handful of cow hair from his body, covered the sparrow, and got it food.

The sparrow was saved, and the companion said to it, the cow saved your life, you should go and thank others. The sparrow said: "I don't think it's necessary. For a cow, a handful of hair is just a drop in the bucket. It's so insignificant. Even if you thank someone, you won't care!"

6. The circus owner came from the zoo. I bought a lion and plan to train it to participate in circus performances. But the lion couldn't get through the hoop.

The boss threatened the lion: "If you don't practice well again, I will send you back to the zoo."

The lion didn't take it seriously after hearing this and said: " Just go back."

The boss reminded the lion: "Don't forget that you are a performing artist here. In the cage of the zoo, you are just a beast."

The lion retorted. He said, "No, the zookeeper said that we are also artists in the zoo."

The boss sneered: "Artists? You eat meat and sleep in front of tourists. What kind of art is this?"

The lion also said coldly: "Performance art!"

7. A family was infested with rats, so they specially found a cat from other places that was said to be the most powerful cat in history. Sure enough, the results are remarkable! As their companions continued to decrease, the rats felt deeply uneasy. They kept discussing countermeasures, but they still fell into the cat's mouth one by one...

Finally, the last two rats were left. Rat A pair Mouse B said: "Sneak out while the cat is sleeping. If nothing happens, call me out again..." Mouse B went out obediently.

Not long after, a small voice came from outside the cave: "It's okay, come out quickly!"

Mouse A then tiptoed out and unexpectedly stepped on it. When he came out of the cave, he was caught by a big claw, and he heard the cat say: "Now you know the importance of learning a foreign language..."

8. Hen hatching eggs The season has arrived, and a few hens are lying quietly in their nests incubating eggs.

Here came the idle lady duck, wandering around here and there, scolding the white hens for hatching too few eggs, scolding the black hens for not being attentive enough to hatch eggs and running out to drink water, and scolding the yellow hens for lying on their nests. The posture is not professional enough.

The rooster said to Ms. Duck: "You said this is wrong and that is wrong. Why don't you hatch a few eggs and see."

A hen said: "You don't understand this. People who can't do anything usually make irresponsible remarks about others!"

1. Interesting talk about career

1. Mosquito: Works in a small hospital, specializing in injections.

2. Bee: I am a flight attendant, and I work very hard.

3. Butterfly: I don’t understand my outfit, she’s a dancer!

4. Dragonfly: Flying a helicopter, my dream is to be an astronaut.

5. Spider: Open an online store and you won’t have to worry about eating and drinking!

6. Ant: Oh, it’s so hard to be a little porter! When will it happen?

7. Rat: These days are carefree and petty thefts are easy to live.

8. Cat: He used to be the manager of the grain depot and has been retired for many years.

2. Funny sayings:

1. Parrot: I just spent the time other people chatting on learning foreign languages.

2. Hippopotamus: Julia Roberts is nothing, I am the real beauty with a big mouth.

3. Peacock: There will never be a "screen fee" to watch my performance.

4. Panda: I definitely didn’t do the “panda burning incense” thing.

5. Gecko: It is easy to climb the Forbidden City wall, but it is difficult to climb the network firewall!

6. Bat: I am a veritable ultrasound guerrilla.