Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - If the deep-sea fish sheds tears original text

If the deep-sea fish sheds tears original text

Three months before the high school entrance examination, a list was posted in the classroom of Class 2 of Junior High School. The content of the list is as follows: Who can make Xu Doudou cry once before the high school entrance examination? Each of the boys called him "boss" and gave him fifty yuan each, totaling one thousand yuan. Welcome people with lofty ideals to bravely reveal the list! ?

Below is a row of signatures from boys. ?

When Xu Doudou walked past this list, he took it off lightly. She pretended to wipe her tears, howled twice, and said to the vicious boys under the podium: "I made myself cry. Come on, call me boss, and then give me all the money!" ?

"No, no, no!" Unsteady shouted anxiously, "No, no, I'm going to cry!"?

Xu Doudou tore up the paper in his hand He broke it into pieces and threw it at Wu Zhan's face and said: "Go to hell, you are bored!"?

"Man!" Wu Zhan said angrily: "I won't cry if you don't want your last name to be Mo!" ?

The surname is not stable, so it is Mo Wending. ?

Some people say that he is handsome, so he often feels better than Karen Mok, so Xu Doudou, who has always hated evil, hates him the most. ?

Afraid of provoking a war, Xu Doudou's best friend Qin Maomao quickly pulled her aside and said with a smile: "Don't be angry, those boys are pig brains. Thousand yuan is a huge sum of money, how about we, "How?" "I scold you, you pretend to cry," Qin Maomao said simply. ?

"What's the point of crying about scolding!" Xu Doudou's eyes widened, "If you want to scold, scold me. I can't cry, and I can't even pretend."?

"No way, you really don't have tear ducts?" Qin Maomao rolled Xu Doudou's eyelids for the nth time, but Xu Doudou quickly avoided it: "Boss, uh, don't be as ignorant as those boys, okay?"?

Xu Doudou and Qin Maomao never called each other by their names, they always called each other "boss". Speaking of which, Xu Doudou's admiration for Qin Maomao started on the first day of the first grade of junior high school. That day, the head teacher, Mr. Luo, stared at the young and new faces in the classroom with bright eyes and said enthusiastically: "I won't call your names. Let's introduce ourselves. Who comes first?"?

No one dares to come first. ?

After two minutes of silence, Qin Maomao stood up first. She walked to the podium and said to everyone with a smile: "Hello everyone, my name is Qin Yanan. I like cats very much. You guys You can also call me Qin Maomao..."?

Xu Doudou thought at that time: "This girl is pretty awesome."?

Facts have proved that Qin Maomao is really awesome. She is a third-year junior high school student. Not only did she serve as class monitor for three years, she also successfully "conquered" Shiqi, the boy with the best grades in the class. She asked Shiqi to go west, but he didn't dare to go east. She asked Shiqi to sit down, but he didn't dare to stand up. But this kind of girl said the same sentence on many occasions that greatly inflated Xu Doudou's vanity: "Xu Doudou is my boss."?

Xu Doudou's real name is Xu Chi, she has a round head and a round head, so everyone calls her Xu Doudou. However, she dislikes this nickname very much. When surfing the Internet, she likes to call herself "Deep Sea Fish". ?

Qin Maomao said: "Boss, this online name is disgusting."?

"Hey!" Xu Doudou looked at Qin Maomao warily and said, "Yes What’s disgusting, don’t talk nonsense if you don’t understand!”?

“Then you explain?” Qin Maomao asked her, biting the pen. ?

But Xu Doudou refused to say anything, looking very secretive.

?

When the school bell rang, and seeing Xu Doudou return to his seat and sit down, Guan Yaoyao regretfully said to Qin Maomao: "It's a pity that I came late today, otherwise I could reveal the list, Do you believe that I can make Xu Doudou cry?"?

"I don't believe it," Qin Maomao said resolutely. ?

It’s no wonder that three years of junior high school have almost passed. All the girls in Class 3 (2) of N Middle School have cried over one thing or another, but no one has seen Xu Doudou’s tears. She didn't cry when she failed in the exam. At most, she just walked around the campus alone in a sullen voice. She doesn't cry when a boy bullies her, but she dares to pick up the bench and confront you if you piss her off. If you have a dispute with a girl, you won't cry even more. If you just yell at her without thinking, you are considered capable if you don't cry. ?

It has been the last three months, and the boys headed by "Unstable" seem to be working hard. They want to see Xu Doudou's jokes and give her "myth without tears" no matter what. A ruthless end! In addition to "raising funds" and posting lists to recruit talented people, the boys also came together to discuss a careful plan and gave it a rather grand name, "Tear Jerker."?

Qin Maomao is very It was easy to find out the three major steps of the plan from Shiqi. The first move was to do it hard. Of course it's not okay for a boy to hit a girl, so when playing basketball in physical education class, he pretends to accidentally hit the ball on her head. Moreover, whoever makes Xu Doudou cry will get the thousand yuan. (P.S. I didn’t come up with this bad idea because I had never been buckled before. I was so dizzy that I shed tears unconsciously.)?

The second trick is to look very cool. Honesty is actually painted when someone is treacherous, and is called: coming to softness. Looking for every opportunity to move Xu Doudou, the best way is to let Xu Doudou's best friend Qin Maomao pretend to have leukemia or something, and have a life-or-death farewell with her, so that she won't cry when the time comes. (P.S., all the boys think this is a worse idea, because everyone thinks Shiqi can’t handle Qin Maomao in the first place.)?

The third move is the most nymphomaniac boy in the class Ye Jiaming's trick was very poisonous, it was called a combination of soft and hard tactics. That is to find someone to fall in love with Xu Doudou. First, he will be very nice to her, and then he will kick her when she is intoxicated and enters the state. By then, I am afraid that her tears will flood the school playground. Just drowned. (P.S. Everyone unanimously recommended Ye Jiaming to play the contemporary 'Chen Shimei', but Ye Jiaming hesitated for a long time and didn't agree. Later, after everyone's repeated lobbying, he agreed to give it a try for the sake of money.)?

Although Shi Qi repeatedly asked Qin Maomao not to leak secrets, how could Qin Maomao be the kind of villain who "values ??sex over friends". Five minutes later, Xu Doudou was already laughing so hard because of this ridiculous "tear-jerking" plan. She hung Qin Maomao's arm and said, "The physical education class will be stopped this week, and there is no basketball." . As for your leukemia, no one will believe it. You are as strong as a cow. The third point is even more ridiculous. I, Xu Doudou, don’t know how to fall in love. I don’t know how to fall in love before I am thirty. Bring it up on my agenda! Ye Jiaming, huh, I'll kick him to the Cape of Good Hope!"?

Qin Maomao touched his chin and said, "If these three moves don't work, maybe I will. A better idea."?

"Tell me what you think."?

"Buy a tear gas bomb. Is one thousand dollars enough?"?

"You can try it." Xu Doudou said, pretending to be interested, "I also want to see what I look like when I cry."?

"I do. "Qin Maomao's mantra came again. ?

It was recess at this time. Su Su passed by their classroom, looked at Xu Doudou and said, "Why are you laughing like this?"

Su Su is from class three. A student is the kind of person who is extremely outstanding. Every school has this kind of person. She has good grades and is pretty. She is the one who gets all the glory and fame.

Originally this was nothing, but she was Xu Doudou's cousin, fifteen days older than her. Because of her, Xu Chi never raised his head. Therefore, she hated Su Su in her heart, so she said with a straight face: "You can't laugh if you have nothing to do."?

Su Su smiled and walked away. ?

Qin Maomao scolded Xu Doudou and said, "Why are you doing this to others? You are obviously jealous."?

"Yes, I am jealous." Xu Doudou admitted, " I have been depressed for sixteen years because of her. She has bullied me since I was a child. Look, now, there are only three months left before the high school entrance examination, and my mother almost skinned me."?

"I think Su Su is quite cute." Qin Maomao said, "She smiles at everyone."?

"Fake it!" Xu Doudou said angrily, "I will never I remember when I was in the second grade of elementary school, she told my mother that I liked to make my voice high-pitched when I read the text, which made me uncomfortable."?

" Hahaha." Qin Maomao laughed and said, "It's not because she's uncomfortable that you care about her so much."?

"She's always looked down on me, that's it."?

"Who told you that your skills are inferior to others?" Qin Maomao hit her, "If you have the ability, why don't you try to get a helicopter?"?

Xu Doudou immediately hesitated and pulled her Qin Maomao went into the classroom to read. There will be a math test tomorrow. Xu Doudou is good at Chinese, but what he fears most is math. If he fails in math in the high school entrance examination, it is probably impossible to stay in the province to study. ?

Guan Yaoyao had more and more pimples on her face, and Wu Meimei looked at everyone as if they were enemies. Ding Xixi seemed to be heartbroken and had a sad face all day long... The last days of the third grade of junior high school were really not something people live. Just as she angrily opened the first page of the book, Su Su's face appeared again, waving at Xu Doudou at the door of the classroom. Unsure, this good-for-nothing got dizzy when he saw the girl, and his eyes almost turned into cross-eyes. He also shouted for Su Su at the top of his voice: "Xu Doudou, Xu Doudou, someone is looking for you at the door!"?

It seems that Xu Doudou is blind. ?

Xu Doudou walked over helplessly and asked Su Su: "What are you doing?" ?

Su Su said: "Your mother called my cell phone and asked us to go directly after school. Let’s go to grandma’s house for dinner. Today is grandma’s birthday.”?

“I can’t go.” Xu Doudou said, “I haven’t studied for the math test tomorrow. How can I be as cool as you?” /p>

"But what will you eat when you go home?" Su Su asked worriedly. ?

"Then don't bother you." Xu Doudou looked at Susu's chest and asked, "How can you bring a mobile phone to school? If anyone in our class brings a mobile phone, they will be thrown away by Lao Luo Go to the toilet."?

Su Su smiled and said: "Our head teacher is not fierce."?

"Our Lao Luo is very fierce," Xu Doudou said fiercely. Even if you are a top student, she will still obey you. So, you should come to me less often."?

Su Su glanced at Xu Doudou and left without saying anything. ?

Even though she was reluctant, Xu Doudou went to her grandmother's house at night. Because my mother sent Huan to play around and Lan Yan made an appointment with He Xianxian? But she didn't look old or confused at all. She talked and laughed loudly, patted Su Su on the shoulder and said, "Asu, I heard you got a helicopter flight. You really make grandma happy." Then she said, "Xu Chi, Xu Chi, you want it." Work harder to catch up with Asu. My father was expressionless and my mother smiled very hard and toasted to everyone. Xu Doudou picked up a large glass of red wine and said viciously that it was impossible for me to catch up with your Asu, but I can drink up the glass of wine to atone for your unscrupulous descendants

After that, she was My aunt and my mother drank the glass of wine as they screamed.

?

Grandma laughed loudly: "Not bad, not bad, this character is like grandma!"?

"It's a damn thing!" Mom snatched the wine glass in front of her and said, "This cocktail party Do you know it's intoxicating?"?

Xu Doudou sat down silently. She knew that her grandmother didn't like her, just like she kept calling her Xu Chi so politely but she kept calling her Su Su and Su. It's like being so affectionate. But Xu Chi doesn't want to deliberately try to please anyone. The world is like this. If others don't like you, there's nothing you can do about it. Making unnecessary efforts to please others will only make people look down upon you more. ?

Isn’t Guan Yaoyao a good example? Xu Doudou should never be like Guan Yaoyao? ?

After eating, the adults started to play mahjong together. Susu sat on the sofa and watched TV. Because her grandmother’s house was far away from home, Xu Doudou’s suggestion to go home alone was rejected by her mother. After rejecting the offer, she was sent to the back room to read. But after a while, Su Su also came in, and she said softly to Xu Doudou: "You brought Ying 锸馱素鸶? Yipo beer! Leopard? brgt;

Xu Doudou said with a flat mouth that you didn't get a helicopter. What else are you reading?

Su Su said: "You have to learn everything before starting high school. It's not good to be too relaxed. "?

"You're pretty good at pretending. "?

"Xu Chi. "Su Su called her name, sat down next to her and said, "I really want to know why you don't like me. What is it about me that you hate? "?

"No. "Xu Doudou said, "Don't talk nonsense. I don't dislike you, but I don't like you either. I'm quite a vulgar person, and I never have any likes or dislikes. "?

"I am your biological sister. "Su Su sat on the chair next to Xu Doudou, shaking her legs and said seriously, "I'm serious. "?

Xu Doudou stared straight at the math test paper.?

Su Su suddenly sighed and said: "I hope one day you will understand that what I said is true. of. "?

Xu Doudou suddenly closed the book in his hand and shouted very loudly: "You don't have to take the exam anymore, do you still want me to read?" "?

Su Su looked at Xu Doudou, her big eyes were immediately filled with tears, but she didn't say anything more, but turned around and went out, closing the door for Xu Doudou.?

The next day, Xu Doudou said to Qin Maomao: "Do you think she is sick? I've made it clear that I don't like her, but she says those annoying things to me! "?

"Maybe what they say is the truth. "?

"Tch! Xu Doudou said disdainfully, "Don't you understand that she and I are from two different worlds?" "?

Although he was fully prepared, he still failed in the math test that morning. He couldn't solve any of the last few big questions. He felt uncomfortable. When he went to the cafeteria to get food, Xu Doudou She always had a dark face, Qin Maomao reminded her: "Actually, you can cry, maybe it will look better when you cry than you do now. "?

"Are you crazy about a thousand dollars? "Xu Doudou said."

"You are crazy." Qin Maomao pushed Xu Doudou and said, "No one will like your dead face!" "?

"I am a dead face! "Xu Doudou said, "You don't want to look away! ”?

Qin Maomao turned around and left. He dropped a few poor bean sprouts and walked past her with his lunch box unsteadily, saying sarcastically: "Xu Doudou eats bean sprouts, just right!" ”?

Xu Doudou almost threw the lunch box on his unstable head.?

But he was too hungry and couldn’t throw it.

Xu Doudou moved slowly, planning to go to the small shop at the school gate to eat two taels of dumplings. After entering the door, she found that Qin Maomao was also there. Her dumplings had been served and she was eating them. Xu Doudou is a single-celled girl who can leave quickly when she gets angry. She sat down opposite Qin Maomao and whispered: "Boss, I'm treating you today."?

Qin Maomao waved her hand at the boss Yang: "Another pound of stuffed cabbage!"?

Xu Doudou shouted: "Can you eat one pound?"?

"If you can't eat it, throw it away anyway. Your treat."?

"You're so cruel," Xu Doudou said, "Can't you just let me go if I'm in a bad mood?"?

"Okay. The cat said, "I'll give you a pound to eat, and I'll choke you to death!"?

Xu Doudou said with a smile: "It's so ugly to say that I'm choked to death."?

"You're so stupid You are so hopeless." Qin Maomao said, "I admire you for being so playful when you should cry!"?

"You are such a fool. Is this the burden of salary? Is it jealous? The 2-point math test paper shouted loudly: "Do you still want to take the high school entrance examination? Are you not worried about your grades falling all the way?" "?

Xu Doudou retorted: "Who said I'm not in a hurry? I'm more anxious than anyone else! "?

"I made an agreement with Su Su. From today on, she will come to study with you every night. You can see what studying is like for others. If you don't know how, you can ask her! "?

"Mom! Xu Doudou raised his hands in a gesture of surrender and said, "Please spare me. If someone is around me, I won't be able to read a word in the book!" "?

"It depends on who you are. Su Su is the number one scholar in your school. Is she willing to study with you because you are related to her? You should know better! "My mother said without any explanation, "That's it. I'll go back and buy two new sets of clothes for Su Su to thank her. "?

"I'm done. Xu Doudou called Qin Maomao and complained: "I have completely fallen into my mother's trap. What's the difference between finding someone to watch me and going to jail?" "?

"I don't know how blessed I am when I am in the midst of blessings. Why don't I let Su Su come and study with me? Qin Maomao said, "I welcome it very much." "?

"Go to hell! "Xu Doudou didn't get sympathy, so he had to hang up the phone angrily.?

In the evening, Su Su came with a lot of books. She put the books on Xu Doudou's table and said, "These The materials are all good ones that I usually use, mainly mathematics. You can take a look when you have time. "?

"Can you find some free time now? "Xu Doudou pushed a lot of homework in front of Su Su and said disdainfully, "Can you look for it for me? "?

Su Su smiled and said: "Is time the water in a sponge? "?

"Tsk, tsk, tsk. You really know how to show off! "Xu Doudou said sarcastically, "Then I would still say that there is a road to the mountain of learning, and diligence is the path, and there is no limit to the sea of ??learning, and the boat is hard work, would you? "?

"I can. Su Su said meaningfully, "If there is something I don't know, I will learn it humbly." "?

Xu Doudou couldn't convince others, so he had to bury his head in his homework.?

"You can ask me if you don't understand anything. "After Su Su finished speaking, she also immersed herself in reading her English. ?

Xu Doudou couldn't help but ask her: "Isn't it cool to have good grades? "?

"It's okay. "Su Su said.?

Xu Doudou asked again: "Is there any secret to reading? "?

Su Su looked up at her."

"We are relatives, eh, can't we just talk about it?" "?

"Oh. "Listen well," Su Su said, "there is a road to the mountain of books, and diligence is the path, and there is no limit to the sea of ??learning, and hard work is the boat." "?

"I will. "Xu Doudou said while making a fainting gesture.

?

"You have asked me so many questions, can I also ask you one?" Su Su said. ?

"Okay." Xu Doudou sat up straight: "You can ask." ?

"Have you really never cried?" ?

" "No."?

"Have you ever cried secretly?"?

"No."?

"You are really good." Said, "I can't do it."?

Unable to tell whether she was sincere or fake, Xu Doudou quickly changed the topic: "Why did you agree to come study with me? For students, This is the most despicable thing, do you understand?"?

Su Su kept her head down in the book, as if she didn't hear it. ?

Xu Doudou didn’t ask Su Su any questions that night. On the math test paper, the teacher asked her to correct the wrong question, but she insisted on not asking. How to make Su Su angry was what she had in mind. The question that comes to mind the most? ?

The next day, Qin Maomao said to Xu Doudou, "Doesn't it feel quite bourgeois to have someone to accompany you to study?"?

"It's okay." Xu Doudou said, "I will If you can’t drive her away later, she won’t be human!”?

In the evening, Su Su came again, and this time she brought the math test paper that Xu Doudou and the others took the exam, with the answers to each question written on it. Very detailed, she handed the test paper to Xu Doudou and said: "Take a look, maybe you can use it. If you don't understand anything, you can ask me." Crying without tears, he said: "Please, Miss, please forgive me. Isn't it good for you to stay at home and watch TV every night? Why do you have to bother me?"

"If you fail the exam Auntie will be very sad in the province." Su Su said, "I am your sister, and it is my job to tutor you. Don't have any thoughts in your mind, okay?"?

" I don't have this luck." Xu Doudou said, "I'm not worthy of you." Su Su chuckled: "It's not like being in love. What is worthy of you?"

"You are shameless." Xu Doudou said, "What about falling in love but not falling in love? This is not a topic that middle school students should talk about."?

"You are so funny." Su Su He was not angry at all, but spread out the test paper and said, "I have read several of your test papers. You don't know how to do this type of question. Let me explain it to you."?

"I'm KAO!" Xu Doudou said to Qin Maomao, "I really admire her!"?

"You have to admit it if you're not as good as a human being." Qin Maomao said, "You still plan to piss her off? Are you leaving?"?

"Of course." Xu Doudou said, "I'll put a thumbtack on the chair she's sitting on tonight!"?

"No way. ?" Qin Maomao said, "Then you are a little too cruel."?

"You are not a husband." Xu Doudou said, "You can only do this to people you don't like."?

"Then tell me, why do you dislike others, just because they are better than you?"?

Xu Doudou couldn't explain, and after a long time he hesitated and said: "If you don't like it, you don't like it. Do you need any more reasons?"?

Qin Maomao went home for dinner at noon that day, and Xu Doudou was eating tasteless food alone in the cafeteria while listening to his Walkman. Su Su sat down opposite her with a meal and said: "What are you listening to? Let me listen too?"?

Xu Doudou handed her an earplug and thought: "This is Jay Chou, you didn't order it?" "Do you understand me?"?

Who knew that Su Su actually said excitedly: "Jay Chou's new song is named after his father"?

"So you are not a nerd." ." Xu Doudou said. ?

To outsiders, they must look very close. Whenever I walked past them, I would have a jealous look on my face.

This made Xu Doudou a little awkward, but he was too embarrassed to pull the plugs out of Susu's ears. They just finished the meal each with earplugs listening to Jay Chou's songs. ?

When saying goodbye, Su Su said to her: "See you in the evening." ?

"Oh." Xu Doudou said blankly. ?

But Su Su did not come in the evening. What she waited for was a call from her aunt. Su Su was hit by an illegal car at the entrance of Xinhua Bookstore and was being treated in the emergency room. ?

Xu Doudou was stunned when he heard the news, as if someone had cast a spell on him and he couldn't move at all. ?

God bless, Susu is not dead. ?

She lives. ?

But she is missing a leg. ?

The beautiful and outstanding young girl is missing one leg. ?

It is said that when she got into the car accident, she was holding a copy of Jay Chou's latest album "In the Name of the Father" in her hand. ?

Xu Doudou went to the hospital to accompany Su Su every day and read beside Su Su's bed. She found many, many jokes and told them to Su Su every day. Su Su finally laughed, touched her hair and said to her: "Xu Chi, you have always been cute. You have been like this since you were a child, but you have a too bad temper. "?

"Does it hurt?" Xu Doudou asked. ?

"It hurts." Su Su said. ?

"Actually, you can lend me Jay Chou's." Xu Doudou said again. ?

"I'm afraid you won't borrow it, but I want to listen." ?

"The provincial government has stated that it will accept you. From now on, I will accompany you to school every morning." Xu Doudou said , "Don't worry, I will pass the provincial high school if I work hard."?

"I believe it." Su Su said. ?

Just as he said this, Qin Maomao and others crowded into the ward. They bought a lot of nutritional supplements and flowers for Su Su. Qin Maomao lay in Xu Doudou's ear and said, "I can't believe they donated a thousand yuan to help Su Su buy a wheelchair. Needless to say, you must have burst into tears this time. It's a pity that we didn't see it with our own eyes."?

Xu Doudou said nothing. ?

In fact, Xu Doudou didn't cry either, but not crying didn't mean he wasn't sad, just like something he didn't say didn't mean he didn't think about it. In fact, when she and Su Su were listening to songs in the cafeteria that day, Xu Doudou had already accepted Su Su in her heart. If she told Su Su or gave Su Su a sincere smile, maybe Su Su would lend her a hand. CD, maybe Su Su will not go to Xinhua Bookstore at that time, maybe...?

There are many possibilities in this world. ?

Unfortunately, what happened was the most unlucky one. ?

Xu Doudou wrote in the guestbook to Qin Maomao: "No one has ever seen a deep-sea fish cry, thinking that she never understands sadness. However, that is because she has been staying in the deep sea Her tears are invisible to others. ?

It turns out that tolerance requires such a high price to understand. I only hope that she will forgive me. I hope that we will always support me. They are good sisters who love each other."?

Qin Maomao closed the message book and hugged Xu Doudou. At that moment, she felt something warm in her neck. Perhaps it was the tears of the deep-sea fish that she had been waiting for for a long time. ?

Sorry, I admit, I copied it. But, how about you accept me?