Do you have any funny jokes? The interesting kind ...

1 Who in the world will suddenly get old?

Answer: the bride. Because today is the bride, tomorrow is the wife.

How much is a heart worth?

Answer: 1 100 million. Because of singleness!

How much do I need to bring when I go out in typhoon weather?

Answer: 40 million. Don't go out because there is nothing to do in typhoon weather.

The exam is coming. What books can't I read?

Answer: Encyclopedia (lose all encyclopedias).

If tomorrow is the end of the world, why should someone commit suicide today?

[Answer] Have a place in heaven

Q: What are cloth and paper afraid of?

A: cloth is afraid of 10 thousand, paper is afraid of one thousand.

Reason: not (cloth) afraid of 10 thousand, just (paper) afraid of one thousand.

Question 7: What is the pencil surname?

A: Xiao.

Reason: Sharpen (sharpen) the pencil.

Q: What will Kirin become when it arrives at the North Pole?

Answer: ice cream.

Reason: ice cream (iced unicorn).

Question 9: From 1 to 9, which number is the most diligent and which number is the laziest?

Answer: 1 lazy; 2 Diligence

Reason: One (1) does not do two (2) endlessly.

10 Question: How to make sparrows quiet?

Answer: Click.

Reason: Silence (silence).

1 1 Question: Who runs fastest in history?

Answer: Cao Cao

Reason: Speak of the devil.

12 question: 30-50 which number is worse than bear shit!

Answer: 40

Reason: Facts speak louder than words.

13 question: what should I do if the pigs in the pigsty run out?

Answer: Wang Leehom.

Reason: to coax.

14 Question: What if I come out again?

The answer is: Han Hong.

Reason: Still coax.

15 September 28th is Confucius' birthday, so what's the date of 10 June 28th?

Answer: Confucius full moon

16 the wolf is coming (guess)?

Answer: carambola (sheep escape)

17 what would the world be like if Chiang Kai-shek were still alive?

Answer: One more person. ...

18 There are carp under these two pieces of ice (four-word idiom)?

Answer: Be polite (there are carp in the ice).

19 why does tofu hurt people?

Answer: Because it is frozen tofu.

A bus had an accident and everyone was injured. Why is Xiaoming okay?

A: Because he is not in the car.

2 1 There is a place where you can get in but not out. What is this place?

Answer: the grave

Chickens and geese compete in the 100 meter race. Chickens run faster than geese. Why did you arrive at the terminal later?

Answer: The chicken ran in the wrong direction.

The bell in the east rang, but there was no one in the classroom. What happened?

Answer: physical education class.

Lingling has never studied arithmetic, but the teacher praised her math as one of the best. Why?

Answer: Count from one to two.

What did Columbus do immediately after he set foot on the New World?

Answer: Take the other foot.

Some people say that eating fish can avoid myopia. Why?

Answer: Have you ever seen a cat wear eyes?

What has no tongue in its mouth?

Answer: teapot mouth

What kind of official doesn't give orders, but always smiles at others?

Answer: Xin Langguan

A policeman ran away when he saw the thief. Why?

Answer: I want to catch the thief quickly.

Xiaoming eats gum every day, but others still say he has bad breath. Why?

A: He swears every day.

Why can frogs jump higher than trees?

Answer: because trees can't jump

"You are standing with a pig", guess an animal.

Answer: I like it (like it)

Lao Wang has to shave forty or fifty times a day and still has a beard on his face. What is the reason?

Answer: Lao Wang is a barber.

What flowers can't be touched

Answer: Spark

What can solve all the mysteries?

Answer: the answer

When will the clock in Times Square ring 13?

Answer: when it is time to repair.

In ancient times, who became a father-in-law first and then a father?

Answer: eunuch

When someone knocks at the door, you will never say come in.

Answer: When going to the toilet.

Is it black-bone chicken or white chicken? Why?

Answer: Black chickens are very powerful. They can lay white eggs, but white chickens can't lay black eggs.

Why does everyone like to sit and watch movies?

Answer: Because it hurts to stand and watch your feet.

4 1 What will be the impact of canceling morning self-study?

Answer: Sleep less for half an hour.

Please race the tortoise and rabbit, and ask the pig to be the referee. Who will win the game?

Answer: I can't say! The person mentioned is a pig …

What are the similarities between what two women said and what a thousand ducks said?

Answer: Nonsense (chicken)

There is a pig and a donkey in the farmer's house. Do you think farmers should kill pigs or donkeys first during the Chinese New Year?

Answer: Would you rather kill the pig (silly pig) or the donkey (donkey)?

Why didn't the plane hit the stars when it was flying so high?

Answer: Because the stars will "flash"

One day, a medium-rare steak was walking in the street. Suddenly he saw a medium-rare steak in front of him, but he ignored him. Why don't they say hello?

Answer: Because I am unfamiliar.

Xiao Wang whistled leisurely while brushing his teeth. How did he do it?

Answer: I brushed my false teeth.

What door will never close?

Answer: goal

There is a ladder hanging on the side of the boat, 2 meters from the sea surface, and the sea water rises by half a meter every hour. How many hours can seawater submerge the ladder?

Answer: A rising tide lifts all boats, so the ladder will never be flooded.

When the car turns right, which tire does not turn?

Answer: spare tire

What books can't you buy in the bookstore?

Answer: Secretary.

What water will never be used up?

Answer: saliva

A man was chased by a tiger. Suddenly a big river appeared in front of him. He can't swim, but he passed. Why?

Answer: I was stunned.

Two brothers with the same appearance were drafted into the army at the same time. They are related by blood and have the same date of birth and parents' names. The company commander asked him if he was a twin. They said no, why?

Answer: Two of the triplets

There are two prisoners in the prison. One night, all the prisoners escaped, but the next day, the guards opened the prison door and found another prisoner inside?

A: The name of the fugitive is Du.

What can solve all the mysteries?

Answer: the answer

In today's society, what do most self-employed people who distribute big money rely on to eat?

Answer: mouth

What should be hidden and secretly used, and then secretly given to others after use?

Answer: negative film

A magnifying glass can magnify anything, but there is one thing that cannot be magnified. What is this?

Answer: Angle.

Six-year-old Xiaoming always likes to break the alarm clock at home. Why does mother always ask her father who can't repair the clock to repair it for her?

Answer: Because mom asked dad to fix Xiaoming well.

When will the clock in Times Square ring 13?

Answer: when it is time to repair.

What is the first thing everyone should do when they wake up in the morning?

Answer: Open your eyes.

A truck driver knocked down a motorcyclist. The truck driver was seriously injured, but the motorcyclist was okay?

Answer: The truck driver didn't drive at that time.

In ancient times, who became a father-in-law first and then a father? ?

Answer: eunuch

Xiao Li hurt his face by drinking. When he came home, he was afraid that his wife would blame him. He went to the bathroom and put a band-aid on the mirror, but his wife scolded him the next day. Why?

Answer: The wound sticks to the mirror.

If someone asks you for directions, which sentence are you most afraid of hearing?

Answer: Is this the earth? What kind of competition does the winner get no prize and the loser gets a prize?

Answer: punch in and drink.

Xiao Zhang was locked in an unlocked room, but he couldn't open the door with all his strength. Why?

Answer: Just push it away.

There is a cow with its head facing north. It turns right three times, then turns back three times and turns right again. Where does its tail turn at this time?

Answer: Next.

Why do hospitals never accept patients?

Answer: Veterinary hospital

Two fathers and sons went to buy hats, and each bought one. Why did they only buy three? ?

Answer: Three generations.

What melon can't be eaten?

Answer: fool

Why do four 9s add up to 100? ?

Answer: 99+9/9 = 100.

When someone knocks at the door, you will never say come in. ?

Answer: When going to the toilet.

When Xiao Wang stood guard at the post, he clearly saw an enemy quietly touching him. Why did he turn a blind eye?

Answer: aim at the target.

Is it black-bone chicken or white chicken? Why?

Answer: Black chickens are very powerful. They can lay white eggs, but white chickens can't lay black eggs.

Everything in the world melts when heated, but one thing solidifies when heated. What is this?

Answer: eggs

In an exam, a pair of deskmates handed in the same test paper, but the teacher thought they definitely didn't cheat. Why?

Answer: It's all blank.

What is the product with the same production date and effective date?

Answer: newspapers

There is a person born to your parents, but he is not your brother or sister. Who is he? ?

Answer: myself.

Which word is common all over the world? ?

Answer: Arabic numerals

Mr Xu made a big mistake. When he reached for his pocket in front of his wife, some bar matchboxes, horse tickets that didn't win the prize, and photos of old lovers were scattered all over the floor. In the panic, in order to avoid quarreling, he immediately covered something with his hand. What will he cover up?

Answer: Cover your wife's eyes.

Does this ice look like aluminum foil?

A: Treading on thin ice (such as aluminum foil ice)

This letter is made of two eggs (four-word idiom)

Answer: swear (the letter is ball)

Wheat was stolen on both sides (four-word idiom)?

A: Everything is a thief.

Cattle in Cleisthenes stop barking after swimming (four-word idiom)?

Answer: foolhardy (swimming without moo)

A tortoise is famous for carrying a cross (four-word idiom)? Answer: deserved it (cross turtle)

Girls hang their mobile phones on their chests (guess the name of the fruit)?

Answer: Litchi (milk machine)

Why do some people like reading comics?

Answer: boring.

On the bus, two people are having a heated conversation, but the onlookers can't hear a word. Why?

Answer: Are these a pair of deaf people?

Please think it over. What is the biggest shadow you see?

A: The shadow of the earth, that is, every night?

Mrs. Kim has always been outspoken. What made her suddenly speak hesitatingly? ?

Answer: Does Mrs. King hesitate to eat sugar cane?

There is a medicine that you want to take at the drugstore but you can't buy it. What medicine is this?

Answer: regret medicine

People often jump from ten meters high without any safety devices. Why?

Answer: high platform diving

What rain will kill people?

Answer: Bullets.

Why does everyone like to sit and watch movies?

Answer: Because it hurts to stand and watch your feet.

What's the impact of canceling morning self-study?

Answer: Sleep less for half an hour.

Why is there a hole in the ground after Dr. J finished 10 push-ups?

Answer: Because he does push-ups with one hand.

Please race the tortoise and rabbit, and ask the pig to be the referee. Who will win the game?

Answer: I can't say! The person mentioned is a pig …

What are the similarities between what two women said and what a thousand ducks said?

Answer: Nonsense (chicken)

Why do some people like to take a shower before taking a shower?

Answer: Because it's disgusting to pee in the shower.

How do men tidy their clothes?

Answer: [dirty body] and [dirty body but still wearable]

Is it better to wipe your ass with your left hand or your right hand after going to the toilet?

Answer: It is better to use toilet paper …

What is the most important thing besides the admission ticket when taking the entrance exam?

Answer: Remember to get up.

What will men and women become?

Answer: Two people.

Mark's father is in the city library.

Answer: Know the way old horse (map old horse)

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?

Answer: The new dog is still very excited to see you a year later.

Bobo accidentally swallowed 1 yuan, and Boba turned him upside down, but spit out 10 yuan. What should Bo Dad do at this moment?

Answer: continue to feed him one yuan.

Which number is the most industrious? Which number is laziest? A: Whatever you want.

A bear without a tail is a tail bear. What kind of bear is a bear without penis?

Answer: Mama Bear.

What is the smallest island in the world?

Answer: Safe Island

What cloth can be cut continuously?

Answer: Waterfalls.

September 28th is Confucius' birthday, so what's the date of June 28th of 10?

Answer: Confucius full moon

The wolf is coming (guess fruit)?

Answer: carambola (sheep escape)

What would the world be like if Chiang Kai-shek were still alive?

Answer: One more person. ...

There are carp (four-word idiom) under these two pieces of ice?

Answer: Be polite (there are carp in the ice).

Why does tofu hurt people?

Answer: Because it is frozen tofu.

Is it possible that an ant climbed from Sichuan to Tokyo?

Answer: climb on the map

A bus had an accident and everyone was injured. Why is Xiaoming okay?

A: Because he is not in the car.

There is a place where you can go in and out. What is this place?

Answer: the grave

Chickens and geese compete in the 100 meter race. Chickens run faster than geese, but why do they arrive at the finish line late?

Answer: The chicken ran in the wrong direction.

A ball and an iron ball fell from the tall building. Who landed first?

Answer: iron ball

The bell in the east rang, but there was no one in the classroom. What happened?

Answer: physical education class.

Why can Xiao Ming stop the car with one hand?

Answer: The car is a taxi.

Who is busy working all day?

Answer: a ballet dancer.

Lingling has never studied arithmetic, but the teacher praised her math as one of the best. Why?

Answer: Count from one to two.

What did Columbus do immediately after he set foot on the New World?

Answer: Take the other foot.

Who keeps eating, but never gets enough?

Answer: air.

What method can make eyebrows grow under the eyes?

Answer: handstand

What is the thing that makes everyone forget before going to bed?

Answer: Close your eyes.

Some people say that eating fish can avoid myopia. Why? Answer: Have you ever seen a cat wear eyes?

There is an old man who lives on the twelfth floor. Why does he never take the elevator?

Answer: Because he lives on the first floor.

What animal did you hit and shed your own blood?

Answer: Mosquitoes?

What can be added or subtracted?

Answer: age

Xiao Yang's homework has always been the first in the class. Why did he fall to the third place this time?

Answer: Because two people scored higher than him.

What kind of mountains and seas can be moved?

Answer: A sea of people.

What books do normal people not read?

Answer: blind books

What has no tongue in its mouth?

Answer: teapot mouth

What kind of official doesn't give orders, but always smiles at others?

Answer: Xin Langguan

A policeman ran away when he saw the thief. Why?

Answer: I want to catch the thief quickly.

Xiaoming eats gum every day, but others still say he has bad breath. Why?

A: He swears every day.

Why can frogs jump higher than trees?

Answer: Because he stood on the tree and jumped.

Xiao Ming is nearsighted, but he is still blurred with glasses. Why?

Answer: Because he wears glasses without lenses.

The mute is riding on Daniel. Why doesn't Daniel eat grass?

Answer: Because Daniel is human.

Daming's English is very good, but some foreigners can't understand it. Why?

Answer: Foreigners don't understand English.

What is the best way not to get carsick?

Answer: Walk.

Xiao Ming is only 4 years old, but he has become a "father". Is it possible?

Answer: I played house games.

Lao Wang wiped the table for a long time, but he still felt dirty. Why?

Answer: Because Lao Wang's reading glasses are dirty.

"Innate" is the constitution inherited by parents. What is "the day after tomorrow"?

Answer: The day after tomorrow is tomorrow.

What don't people like to eat?

Answer: of course, it is a loss.

Why do swallows fly to the south for the winter?

Answer: Because you walk too slowly.

Of the two bottles of flowers, one is a flower and the other is a paper flower. Please tell me which bottle is a flower?

Answer: A flower with butterflies dancing on it is a flower.

Which organ do thieves fear most? A: Public security organs.

What is the prisoner's favorite way to die?

Answer: die of old age

Eight birds were standing in the tree, and one was shot dead. How many birds are left?

Answer: A dead bird.

Who is the most frequent person on Wangfujing Pedestrian Street in Beijing?

Answer: pedestrians

Who does the male hairdresser like least?

Answer: Bald head.

Polar bears eat meat. Why doesn't it eat penguins?

Answer: No.

Beauty is in the eye of the lover, but what about beauty?

Answer: Gum.

Is there any way to find the lost thumbtack right away?

Answer: Barefoot.

Old Zhan keeps a dog and never washes it. Why don't dogs get fleas?

Answer: Because dogs only have puppies …

Scissors. Rock and roll. Paper! Miss City sends cloth, and Miss Go sends stones. Why did miss Going win?

Answer: Because I hit the face of Miss City.

How can you have your cake and eat it?

Answer: Keep a bear that can only catch fish.