Five-person funny skit

Today is Li Jun's mother's birthday. Four bad boys decided to buy something for her birthday. They walk with things, while saying)

Fat cat: "I really want to go to Li Jun's house early. I'm a little hungry now. " As he spoke, he pursed his lips and touched his stomach. "Listen, you all screamed."

Mickey Mouse: "You only know how to eat and watch!" " What is this? (making a pig's face while talking)

Fat cat: Haha, everyone knows (smirking)

Bugs bunny: I'm going to tell Miss Mi that you ate snacks secretly, hmm ~

Fat cat: Don't talk nonsense. I haven't eaten snacks since Miss Mi gave me a hula hoop, and I still turn to 1000 every day.

(doing the action of S curve)

Bean tooth: You also said you were sophistry. Both Xiao Ou and I saw you secretly eating chicken legs on the road. (doing the action of eating chicken legs)

Bugs bunny: I ate four at a time (sticking out four fingers).

Fat cat: That! That's ~ that's because I haven't eaten chicken legs for a long time. My mother prepared breakfast for me because I was afraid I was hungry.

Fat cat: I'll give you one. (3) Making fun of him) Hey! In front is Li.

Bean tooth: Let me have a look. This is really Li Jun's house!

Mickey Mouse: Get ready, stand up, look straight ahead, put on your hat, 1, 2, 1, 2 ~ ~ Stop, I'll test the situation.

Three: Good!

Mickey Mouse: Li Jun Li Jun ~

Li Jun: What brings you here?

Mickey Mouse: Not only me, but also ~ ~ (pointing to three fat cats)

Li Jun's mother: Juner, will the four of them come?

Four: Hello, Aunt ~

Li Jun's mother: Good boy! Great ~

Mickey Mouse: Fat cat, bean sprouts, help your aunt to come in and have a rest.

Fat cat, bean sprouts: Auntie, Auntie, let's go in, let's go in, I have a lot to tell you!

Li Jun's mother; Really? You little guys, there must be something new. Haha ~

Bugs bunny: Li Jun, do you know that you have made a big mistake?

Li Jun: Huh? Huh? Let me see, I don't think so.

Mickey Mouse: Do you know what day it is today? (voice elongates)

Li Jun: My mother's birthday. (in a low voice)

Bugs bunny: Then why didn't you tell us?

Li Jun: I ~ I ~

Lorina: Hum ~! So you said, are you looking for trouble? Put your hands behind your back to show arrogance and questioning.

Bugs bunny: Hey ~ Detective, don't wronged us! (expression of self-defense)

Li Jun: lorina, they are really not looking for trouble. They came to help me.

Lorina: I don't believe it. They are like four little bullies who will help you with the housework.

Miss Milan: Look at what you said to them, lorina.

Mickey Mouse and bugs bunny: Miss Milan, why are you here? (Shy) By the way, you must avenge us. (pleading expression)

Fat cat, bean sprout: Hehe ~ (scratching his head) What are you doing here, Miss Milan? Hehe ~ we didn't do anything bad ~

Miss Milan: Like you, I came to visit Li Jun's mother!

Four: Really? (Surprise) Teacher Mi, that's very kind of you. Long live Teacher Mi!

Li Jun's mother; Ah, here comes the teacher. Come in, sit, sit, handsome, give the teacher a stool. Look at our handsome guy, still not sensible ~

Miss Milan: Don't be so polite, Li Jun's mother. Take care of yourself. (She said, help Li Jun's mother. )

Four rushed up and said, teacher, do you know? Today is Li Jun's mother's birthday.

Li Jun's mother: Birthday, today is my birthday? Haha, I forgot. How did you know?

Four: secret!

Li Jun's mother: Look, these children are so strange. They often surprise me. Since your son was transferred to your class, they have often come to help me with housework. These children are really good students. How nice! (looking at them sincerely)

Miss Milan: Smile and nod.

The four little guys, with their heads down and their faces red, looked at each other and didn't speak, just giggled there.

Lorina: Oh! It turns out that you guys have done such a good thing as Lei Feng, and you haven't left your name. Why didn't you say so earlier? (Sorry) No wonder you took up your schoolbags and left after school this afternoon, and didn't even play basketball.

Miss Milan: Guys, don't just stand there. Didn't you say today is Li Jun's birthday?

Fat cat: (quickly) puts the cake on the table) Which loudspeaker is out? (Go up to Teacher Mi and whisper, "This is bought with our own pocket money." )

Mickey Mouse: Aunt, you are in poor health. Li Jun went to school again. Everyone can hear this blow in the future.

Li Jun's mother: My old woman can't use this horn!

Mickey Mouse: Aunt, let me show you. Look at this.

Mickey Mouse sings while performing.

Lyrics: Look at this trumpet. It is really useful. You can hear it no matter how far away.

I blow here and there, blow here and blow you, blow here and blow him, and blow everyone happy, happy, happy, happy.

(Everyone laughs and applauds)

Teacher Milan: Haha ~ (happy) I have something very important to tell you (taking out the newspaper from my bag and handing it to them)

Four: Read, four students from Class 6 (3) of Shamen Primary School saved the golden monkey, haha, and our photos! (Freedom)

Teacher mi; The headmaster also said that he would call on the whole school to learn from you next week.

Lorina: Look at them carefully. (She says to herself, "Why didn't I find them?" )

Teacher Mi: Mom, this is the help of our school love foundation (handing a red envelope to mom)

Li Jun's mother: It's very kind of you, Miss Mi. Students, teachers and schools are all good. I really appreciate it． Thank you! (Tears in my eyes)

Fat cat; Aunt, let's celebrate our birthday! (Everyone lights candles to celebrate their birthdays.)

Douya: lorina, you are the little diva of our class. Come on, come on, send a birthday song.

Lorina: I was a little embarrassed to look at them, but I started singing' Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you ~ ~' happily.

Bugs bunny: Aunt, what did you wish for? Tell us about it

Li Jun's mother: I hope everyone is happy, and you good children, listen to the teacher more, study hard and make progress every day.

Teacher Milan: Li Jun's mother, don't worry, they are all my good students!

Mickey Mouse: Thank you, Miss Mi. No teacher ever said that we were good students. For your words, brothers, we must work hard!

The four of them said: please believe us, we are all good students!

Time: some noon in modern times

Venue: Office of Ximenji Pharmaceutical Co., Ltd.

Character: Ximen Qing, the owner of the drugstore.

Matchmaker-professional intermediary

Wu Dalang-Applicant.

Applicant: Li Pinger.

Pan Jinlian-Applicant

Wu Song-security guard

Lin Chong —— Staff of Industrial and Commercial Bureau

[The curtain rises.

[Ximen Qing is holding a huge medicine bottle.

Ximen Qing (to the audience) Dear folks, uncles and brothers! There are good things to introduce to everyone! The specific medicine "Jin Ping Mei"! As long as you eat one plum in this golden bottle every day, you can cure all strange diseases and incurable diseases of gynecological infertility in the skin, urogenital system, without pain and side effects. According to the latest authoritative medical research, this medicine has special effects on SARS, and it is an essential medicine for home travel! Having said so much in one breath, I'm a little breathless. After a while, I began to talk to myself. ) This kind of promotion should be no problem. Alas, from business promotion to publicity planning, I did it all by myself, which is a bit too much for me. I used to start from scratch in Ximen Qing, and I had to do everything myself. Now I make a lot of money by selling it to those who are rich and uneducated. Not long ago, a rich man bought a lot of goods from me to show that he had money to buy expensive things. Now that I have the money, it's time to find someone to be my assistant. But that matchmaker, why haven't you found me a date for so long?

[There comes a shrill voice: Boss Simon!

Ximen Qing knew it was a matchmaker as soon as he heard the voice.

[Go to the matchmaker.

Matchmaker Oh, boss Simon, it's been a long time, and it's even more charming.

Ximen Qing, do you know that we haven't seen each other for a while? I asked you to help me find an assistant, so there is no news. I think you're about to be fired!

Matchmaker: Oh, how can you curse others for being laid off? You know, your requirements are so high, please ask what "special effects" you want. Of course, I have to introduce you to one of thousands.

In Ximen Qing, we pay the most attention to curative effect in medicine. Of course, only people who can improve their work efficiency can become our employees.

Matchmaker: Well, the person who introduced you can guarantee that you have the special effects you want and can help your company make a lot of money!

Ximen Qing, really?

The matchmaker is serious!

Ximen Qing sure enough?

Matchmaker women are really amazing!

Ximen Qing Well, tell him to come out at once and let me have a look.

Hello, matchmaker, let me introduce the first candidate tonight-Wu Dalang!

[Wu Dalang.

Ximen Qing, is this the sweet potato you introduced me to? Are you kidding?

Don't worry, matchmaker, Wu Dalang, tell him what you can do!

Wu Dalang (like an endorsement in one go) My name is Wu Dalang. I am five and a half feet tall and weigh 200 kilograms. I graduated from computer science. I have many years of experience in network design, programming and various paperwork. I am proficient in five languages: English, French, German, Japanese and Korean. I have strong organizational planning ability, love the motherland, love the people and work hard. ...

Ximen Qing All right, all right, you can go.

Boss Wu Dalang, this ...

Boss matchmaker, such a talent is one in a million!

Ximen Qing, is this a talent? There are no special effects I want.

Matchmaker, please try him again. It took me a long time to find such a person. Wu Dalang, just show boss Simon your strength.

Hello, Wu Dalang. I can type quickly. Look at that. (Sit down next to the computer and start typing quickly)

Look at you, matchmaker, how fast you are, so you don't have to worry about no one helping you with your papers in the future!

So what if Ximen Qing can type fast? We are a pharmaceutical company, not a typing company.

The matchmaker and his foreign language are very powerful. Maybe you can expand your overseas business. Wu Dalang, introduce yourself in English again.

Wu Dalang, my name is Wu Dalang. I have graduated from computer system with a doctorate. ...

Ximen Qing, stop! Speaking English is very good. I don't understand a word. How can I speak English well? Joke!

Wu Dalang, the matchmaker, still has a lot of talents. Listen, he can sing!

Wu Dalang (singing) "In the sunset, the boldness of vision is stronger. The sun sets, don't panic ... "

Matchmaker, he can dance again!

【 Wu Dalang hummed 《 Four Little Swan 》.

Ximen Qing, stop, stop! What if he can dance and sing? People can't stand to see him any longer.

Boss Wu Dalang, please be merciful. I will do anything as long as you invite me!

Ximen Qing, leave me alone!

Wu Dalang (suddenly grabs Ximen Qing by the collar) Please don't invite me!

Ximen Qing (scared) Calm down, big brother. Of course I want to hire people like you.

Wu Dalang, really? Thank you very much. Please don't take it personally.

Ximen Qing, it's okay. It's okay. Ah, there is a department in our company that is very suitable for you to be a supervisor.

What department in Wu Dalang?

Ximen Qing Logistics Environmental Sanitation Resources Allocation Management Planning Department.

What department is Wu Dalang in?

Ximen Qing, your office is in those two bathrooms, where all the resources can be allocated and managed by you. You also have many opportunities to create a new environment there!

Isn't that Wu Dalang ... cleaning toilets?

Ximen Qing, with your ability, you will be able to wash out the first-class toilets.

Wu Dalang, this. ...

Ximen Qing, get familiar with the working environment first. You're welcome. Make yourself at home. (Pushing Wu Dalang off the field)

A talent like matchmaker, you let him clean the toilet?

What can Ximen Qing do? I don't want people to think that taking our medicine will make them shorter! I want special effects, special effects!

Matchmaker: Then I'm really confused. What effect do you want?

Ximen Qing called him a super intermediary, but you don't even know this.

Don't worry, boss Simon, the matchmaker. I have something else to introduce to you. Next, we invite the second candidate, Li Pinger!

Li Pinger is elegant on the ground.

Ximen Qing (shine at the moment) Oh, it really works.

The matchmaker's boss wants this special effect.

There is such a person in Ximen Qing's office. Let me have a look when I'm bored, so that I can refresh myself and improve my work efficiency. (To Li Pinger) Come on, have a seat.

[Li Pinger sat down and walked to Ximen Qing while unloading.

Ximen Qing, what's your name?

The matchmaker (hurriedly) said that her name is Li Pinger, and she is eighteen years old and a novice. I still hope boss Simon will take care of her.

Ximen Qing Look out, look out, look out!

Li Pinger (speaking in a gruff male voice) I don't know anything. The boss must teach me more.

Ximen Qing, your voice. ...

The matchmaker is right. The child knows nothing. you must ...

Ximen Qing (furious) What? Boy? He's a man?

Matchmaker I never said he was a woman. ...

Ximen Qing, get out! Get out, both of you!

The matchmaker hurriedly pulled Li Pinger out, but she stayed. Don't be so angry, boss. I have one last trump card.

What brand is Ximen Qing's return to the throne? Is it just another creature like those two wild animals?

Matchmaker: no, no, no, this definitely has the special effects you mentioned.

Ximen Qing, come on, I won't trust you anymore.

Matchmaker, let's have a look first. Next, let's welcome the third applicant-Pan Jinlian!

[Pan Jinlian appeared at the pace of beauty pageant.

The matchmaker Pan Jinlian, 20 years old, measures 36, 24, 36, 5 feet 7 inches and a half, and now she is unemployed. Her wish is to be the biggest slut in the world.

Funny sketch script

Tang-Tang priest

Sun the Monkey King

Pig-Pig Eight Rings

Sandy

White (white)

(Narrator: According to legend, Tang Priest and his disciples went to the Western Heaven to learn Buddhist scriptures. On this day, the four of them crossed Heifengling and came to a village where smoke curled up like an inn. Four people are tired from running, so let's rest here ...)

Tang: The ancient road is thinner with the west wind, and the small bridge is flowing. Wukong is hungry. Go and eat some vegetarian food!

Sun: Master, aren't you losing weight? That fat burning cost us a lot of money! how can ...

Don: (impatiently) You monkey head, don't talk nonsense. Can't you see that being a teacher is all skin and bones? On the way to the Western Heaven to learn from the scriptures, how many demons and ghosts compete to see the scenery of being a teacher? How can they let people go home disappointed? !

(Catwalk around the field, stop and pose)

Sun: Yes, Master. I am on my way. Don't blame me for not reminding you when I'm full.

Don: You're getting annoying. Let's go!

Sun: Yes, Master. Bajie, Friar Sand, take care of Mr. Tang. I'll be back soon.

(Sun Xia)

Don: This monkey head, why is there so much bird talk in his mouth?

Pig: Master, he is not satisfied that I have passed Band 4, so he tries hard day and night to surpass me!

(After a while)

Don: Hey, Bajie, look, there's a beautiful woman coming over there!

(as a vision)

Pig: Master, really! How beautiful!

(as a swab)

Don: (shamefully, softly)

Sin, sin ... Bajie, you are rude again.

(Handing a handkerchief)

Wipe your mouth ... but it's a pity that your skin is a little dark. ...

(Pig and sand are startled)

(Women fly by)

Sha: Stop! Hello, girl. How old are you? What's your name? Where are you from and where are you going?

Go to the park, do you have anyone, what's in your basket, do you know there are many monsters on this road?

It's okay. I can protect you.

Bai: The young monk is welcome. My little girl's surname is Bai, and her name is Jingjing. She is Sprite-Jingjing is bright and cool.

(Three people are fascinated)

Bai: I'm going to Datang to take the computer grade exam. Are all the masters from the East Tang Dynasty?

Try to find the net Vo [VS

Pig: You're right! We are all monks in the Tang Dynasty. I wonder what language this lady speaks.

Bai: FORTRAN is also!

Don: (shoulders shaking with excitement, eyes flashing)

To tell the truth, the examiner of FORTRAN is the second cousin of the young monk. If the young lady can ... the young monk can help. ...

Sun: (around the court)

Where is the Uber who dares to harass? Master, don't worry. I will come!

(Catch the pig and give it a high five)

Who are you? Tell me your name!

Sun: Sorry. I accidentally lost my contact lenses on the way and couldn't tell who was who.

Don: This monkey is becoming more and more useless. Friar Sand, lend him my glasses.

(Sha takes out his glasses and puts them on Sun)

Sun: (rushing forward and stopping)

It's you.-Monica!

Bai: Steven! Is it really you?

When the music of Titanic began, Sun Bai looked at each other and made an emotional gesture. )

Pig: Oh, my God! Couple!

Don: (wiping tears) It's so touching. I haven't seen such a touching scene since I read the story of Jack and Ross!

Sha: (hands Don a towel)

Master, don't make people laugh. That's the Titanic.

(to the audience)

Last time I passed Dahua Cinema, he dragged us to see it and cried himself ... Alas, my master is too sentimental. ...

Pig: Brother, this is ...?

Sun: Monica and I went to college together. ...

Bai: At that time, Steven was the physical education committee member in the class, and I was the representative of English class. ...

Bai: He takes me home every night.

Sun: He calls me every night.

Sun: We always like to take a walk in the Woods at night. ...

Bai: He always tells me ghost stories, which makes me (shy and strong).

(Three people are fascinated, Sun Bai is remembering)

Pig: I see. Brother Hou still likes to sing: only you,

Can make my sky bright, only you can make me ...

Sun: Hum your head .. (punch him so far)

Sha: Since we are acquaintances, then ... Oh, no, monkey, you are not human, so Miss Bai. ...

Don: (yelling, falling backwards) Please escort, monster!

Sun: (in a dilemma) Monica, I'm going to the Western Heaven with Master now, so don't embarrass me for old times' sake. ...

Bai: Bianshui, Surabaya, flows to Guazhou ancient ferry. Wu Shan is a little worried, thinking about dragons and hating them, and he won't stop until he returns. Yueming people lean on the building. Five hundred years, Steven. Do you really miss me at all?

Sun: Things have changed. I'm not who I used to be. Your old boat ticket can't get on my broken boat. Why should you? ...

Pig: If a relationship lasts for a long time, it can't last forever ... Miss Bai, you and I are in the same boat. ...

Sun: Shut up! Pig!

Don: Wukong, this is your fault. Miss Bai is so infatuated, but you are so heartless and don't understand amorous feelings. God, what a tragedy. ...

(Friar Sand continues to pass the towel to Tang)

Bai: Steven, I'm not here to arrest your master this time. I just want to tell you that there is another person in this world who will miss you forever. Since you are bent on seeking Buddha's progress, I can't stop you. I'm ... I have to go.

(Take a few steps and turn around quickly)

May you be happy.

(Go, turn around)

If you need anything, call me.

(Go, turn around)

Motorola pager, sending messages anytime, anywhere. ...