In the name of family: From "little star" to "unemployed vagrant", the sense of gap may destroy a person

Text/Wei Jiezi

The lives of the young people in "In the Name of Family" are not so satisfactory, and each has its own entanglements and pains, but everyone's situation is different. Very different.

Ling Xiao is torn between taking care of her mother and returning to Jianjian. Ziqiu's hope is to reintegrate into Li Haichao's family and enjoy the warmth of the family. Li Jianjian learned to grow up by licking his wounds, Qi Mingyue has been a marionette for more than 20 years, and Tang Can paid a heavy price for his childhood dream of becoming a star.

Their families are not perfect, and they have various problems themselves, but this does not prevent everyone from working hard to find the life they expect. However, in comparison, Tang Can is the most hesitant The helpless one.

Tang Can has a sweet appearance. He has been filming TV series and commercials. At a young age, he is already quite famous. Her mother also quit her job at the cashier to work full-time as her agent.

Tang Can was very sensible when she was a child. She felt sorry for her father who had to travel long distances for transportation, and she wanted to make her parents live a better life. Therefore, although she prefers acting, she did not object when her mother asked her to shoot commercials.

While other children were playing, she took on the burden of supporting the family early on. Even if she is naturally beautiful and talented, it is difficult for her to achieve great development without professional training.

The light that Tang Can gained by sacrificing his childhood was so short-lived. When she grew up, she was not selected for one of the second choices for a movie casting. From then on, her life became completely different.

The young genius becomes unknown when he grows up. Maybe he is still a little unwilling in his heart and wants to return to the top again, but as time goes by, he may never be able to achieve it.

Although it sounds bleak, it is very realistic.

Wang Anshi of the Northern Song Dynasty once wrote "Injury to Zhongyong", which tells the story of the young genius Zhongyong. When Zhongyong was only five years old, he suddenly began to write poems, and his literary talent reached a certain level, and he was called a "genius" ".

The people in the village were surprised by this. They respected Zhongyong's family very much, and some even gave money to him. Seeing the profit, Zhongyong's father took him around all day to show off and collect his property, but did not let him go to school.

When he was twelve or thirteen years old, Zhongyong's poetry was no longer comparable to that of his childhood, and he was lost to everyone.

Zhong Yong’s story is exactly the same as Tang Can’s experience. Tang Can’s parents over-consumed her talent, causing her to lose her happy childhood and neglect her studies. Except for her childhood works and commercials, Tang Can didn't seem to have any skills that she could show off. She liked acting, but she didn't have the opportunity to enter a major. She could only open a shop and do some odd jobs, but the money she earned was not enough to support herself.

However, the past glory made Tang Can unwilling to be mediocre. She has been living in the gap between actors and ordinary people. She can neither be an actor nor accept her mother's suggestion to become an actress. Real ordinary people.

Her pain comes from the gap between "little stars" and ordinary people, as well as the seemingly flattering but actually sarcastic remarks from people around her.

Many people live in this "sense of gap", chasing things that don't belong to them, but not willing to start from scratch. As a result, they live a mediocre life.

Sometimes, a high starting point is not necessarily a good thing. On the contrary, children with fewer expectations and a lower starting point may one day perform amazingly.

Li Jianjian’s grades are second to last in the class, but she is very happy every day. Tang Can is busy filming commercials and becoming a star, Qi Mingyue works hard to get first place, and Li Jianjian has his own interests , she paints and sculpts, which seems like she is not doing her job properly, but looking at it over time, her future truly belongs to her.

In "In the Name of Family", many parents are self-righteous. In the short term, their actions seem to be very smart. Tang Can's parents gained a large amount of wealth in a short period of time. Qi Mingyue's mother, for her The future has been planned, and Qi Mingyue's achievements have indeed made his parents proud. In comparison, Li Haichao's indulgence of Li Jianjian seems unwise, as if it has become a joke.

However, many years later, looking back, I found that what Li Haichao did was the best for the children.

Tang Can's loss of life goals made her live a life worthless and confused.

Her room is so messy that she can't move her feet, which can also reflect her state of mind. It's like overgrown weeds, and her management of herself has become chaotic.

When Qi Mingyue grew up to 26 years old, she did not dare to say no to her mother, did not dare to order food alone, and did not dare to make her own decisions even if she had to study for a job. Her life had been shaped since she was a child, no matter what No matter how decent the job, she is still a puppet who cannot make her own decisions.

In contrast, Li Jianjian learned sculpture according to her interest because she liked it. Her works are full of spirituality and maximize her talent. She opened a studio, planned her career, and realized her dream step by step. She lived a more valuable life than Tang Can and Qi Mingyue.

It can be seen that a person's future should be in his own hands. Whether his parents have too high expectations or he is entangled in his past glory and refuses to let go, it is difficult to have a good result.

I once heard a saying that a person's self-esteem is his sense of control over the things around him. People with a sense of control have higher self-esteem and are more likely to live a valuable life without feeling lost. On the other hand, if there is no sense of control, then no matter how many achievements you achieve, it will be in vain.

In today's society, many parents are often very utilitarian in their treatment of their children. Some parents explore value in their children, while others plan everything for their children. However, even if they see some effects, it is not The child's own choice, when he grows up, everything will be like a flower in the mirror or the moon in the water, easily broken and difficult to last.

Therefore, I appeal to parents not to restrict their children’s understanding and control of themselves for the sake of temporary interests and honors. Sometimes, the sense of gap caused by too high expectations is an unbearable burden in life.

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