The psychological stage of a man cheating to find a mistress, the true psychology of a man after cheating.

According to thousands of cheating cases in our group, the emotional needs of married men are greater than their sexual needs.

They will not consider what kind of harm will be brought to this family if they cheat;

I will not consider what kind of harm it will bring to my wife;

Needless to say, I understand my wife's feelings of being unwilling, abandoned, inferior and wronged after cheating.

Men who cheat are selfish and irresponsible, and even more irresponsible.

Our group of the original, just came, will have this idea:

"I did my best to die, and I paid so much for my family and for you. What did I get? "

"Why am I cheating?"

"I trust you so much and dedicate myself to my family, but you treat me like this."

"In those days, I resigned and married in despair, leaving my hometown and old friends. How do I face it now? "

"It's a pity that we used to be the envy of others. If he hadn't cheated, he would be very happy. "

"If you really love me, why do you cheat? If you don't really love me, why do you want to marry me and have children? "

...

But when men cheat, they basically don't think about it. If I do this, what will happen to my wife and my family?

They will only spend a small part of their time thinking about this problem. What if their wives find out?

I won't admit it if I find out.

So many times, they will be lucky. As long as they handle it properly, the chance of finding out is very small, but women are naturally sensitive, even if it is an inconspicuous detail, they can feel it and have doubts.

But many women will step on this pit, that is, when there is insufficient evidence, they will rush to show their cards to men and make trouble.

As a result, the man refused to admit it, but he was more cautious, but he still wouldn't stop cheating. If you don't find out, then he will keep hiding it.

Most men like threesomes, and wives don't look for them, and mistresses don't force them. This kind of life is their best state.

There are also relevant data showing that men looking for a mistress are not simply for sexual needs, but mostly because of emotional needs.

0 1 Why do men cheat?

Cheating is not a one-off event, but a realization. The cheating marriage also proves that there is something wrong with the relationship between husband and wife.

But there is still a misunderstanding here, that is, there is a problem in the relationship between husband and wife, which makes the other party embark on the road of no return, but as far as derailment is concerned, it is not the fault of the wife.

This responsibility should be clearly divided. Before cheating, you need to bear half the responsibility for your marriage problems.

Many wives are shocked by the reason why men cheat: "I cheat because you are selfish."

So I began to cater to each other, change myself and become more and more bottomless. This is not an effective and ideal method.

In exchange, the other party just thinks more confidently: I cheated because you are not good.

In fact, many times, couples hide their dissatisfaction in their hearts. At first, they found themselves angry and quarreled, but after a long time, because they were too lazy to quarrel, they began to use cold violence, because quarreling could not solve the problem and could not understand each other's thoughts.

But when they don't quarrel, they will feel that they have a good relationship. In fact, the inner thunder has long been buried.

Then there is a disagreement here.

After disagreement, one problem after another still exists, and emotions need to be released, so the backlog again and again has a negative contrast in the brains of those who let the sword go sideways.

Compared with who?

Compare it with the perfect wife inside.

"If only you could understand me a little more."

This is their emotional need, because both sides are refusing to listen and ignoring each other's feelings. At this time, constant comparison will accelerate the vicious circle, and only compare and ignore each other's efforts.

At this time, such a person appeared in reality. Even for a moment, he feels a little bit consistent with his perfect wife, and he will feel different.

Involuntarily approaching.

As a result, mutual trust began to decline, and the relationship between the two people was also in a negative state.

If a person often has negative contrast, then he will often have the idea that I can have a better choice.

But divorce is a very troublesome thing, and the social value of a wife far exceeds that of a mistress.

The reason in a man's heart will not be lost, he will consider it.

In this case, the most direct way is to cheat, at least the wife will not find out immediately.

What will a man say when he is caught cheating?

Let me take you back to the excuse that men take for granted after cheating.

"Look at you, I've heard enough of what you can say except that Huidong's parents are short of family."

"I go to work every day to earn money to support my family. Have you ever said a thoughtful word? "

"We have been married for so long, do you know what I want? Have you met my needs? "

"There is nothing but nagging every day. I really can't stay in this house."

"In addition to check my mobile phone, what can you do? I am really crushed by you. "

……

In other words, the man is saying that Xiao Er understands my needs, Xiao Er gives me freedom, Xiao Er makes me happier, and I can't hear nagging with Xiao Er. Xiao er cares about me, sisters, think about it. Is this a fact?

When he counts all your faults, the reason for cheating becomes a matter of course.

Because of all your bad things, he cheated, so the man is telling you that cheating is not my fault, it's all because of you, so many women will be led astray by men all the way.

At first, women felt that men were sorry for their behavior, but when men said so, they lacked self-confidence and unconsciously thought, "hmm?" Am I really like this? Is it really because I am not good that he cheated? "

Sisters, this is why you will blame yourself after being cheated. It is because men have many "natural" excuses that lead your thinking into a misunderstanding. It's like brainwashing. Men keep brainwashing you, and finally you believe that cheating is not his fault, or that you are not good enough.

But dear sisters, Sister Si wants to ask you, don't men have time when they do something wrong in marriage? Do men take care of your needs in marriage? Do you care enough about this man?

If not, why didn't you cheat, but him? Even his reasons for cheating are high, but you can't even meet the standards.

Imagine that it is you who go home to wash clothes and cook, and it is him who gives up; It's cold and warm. It's you who care about his health, but during your physiological period, he didn't even do it for you like love rat did. It is you who take care of children and parents every day, but what about him? But holding another woman, it is raining.

He never cares how much cheating hurts you; He has never considered your hard work for this family; Even he doesn't remember your kindness or his promise to you. Have your needs been met in such a marriage?

Since you are not satisfied, why not fight for a benefit for yourself, but let him say nothing, as if in his eyes, your lover is precious, but you are worthless.

So, after listening to me, do you still think what he takes for granted is really taken for granted?

So, sisters, ask yourself why you are not satisfied and cared for, but you should stick to your marriage and your own boundaries; Why is he full of shortcomings, but you don't love others behind his back

Cheating has nothing to do with the original match, but a choice.

An affair involves two people, and the most important thing is your husband.

In the outside world, besides men, women do not exclude many people with incorrect views.

If you think it's all mistress's fault, can you kill all those people?

One person tried to do this, and that was Zhang Yufen, a famous professional "mistress".

After her husband cheated, she hated mistresses all over the world, so she set up a small team to fight against mistresses for the original match.

Now, ten years later, she is the only member of Xiaosan team, because they all live in resentment and have died of cancer.

The demand for "playing mistress" has never decreased, and her notebook is full of many helpers waiting for her help.

This is an impossible road.

Some institutions also say that evolutionary psychology believes that men cheat because of primitive sexual impulses, which is understandable. Therefore, wives should provide more freshness and more emotional value.

We don't deny that men have a strong sexual impulse, and evolutionary psychology also believes that men need to find more women to mate because of reproduction; The reproduction of women is to find good providers to provide materials, so men want to find more women to reproduce; Women are more interested in finding rich and loyal men to provide them with materials.

But the impulse left by primitive society is not only sexual impulse, but also many impulses, such as wanting better, such as eating. But when we know that something better doesn't belong to us, we won't steal it. When we know that eating too much will make us obese, we will control it properly.

Man is noble because of restraint. This is an important feature that distinguishes us from animals.

If the man around you knows how to obey the legal rules, it shows that he has the valuable quality of self-control. His betrayal is his rational choice after weighing the pros and cons.

Between loyalty and betrayal, he made a choice. He made a choice between forbidden love and hurting his wife.

Social psychology believes that choice = reward-punishment. The sweet stimulation of forbidden love is a reward, and the possibility and consequence of being discovered is a punishment. He underestimated the possibility and consequences of being discovered.

Many men say it's because of "luck" after cheating. They think they can control their extramarital affairs without being discovered by their wives. This fluky psychology depends more or less on his personality characteristics, such as strong sense of responsibility, caution, fear of rules and so on. You can't change his luck, but you can control the consequences of his infidelity.

If you choose to blame mistress for the derailment, you have already lost the punishment for your husband, which reduces the consequences of his derailment and increases the possibility of his next derailment.

What are the core qualities of partners?

What do you think is the core quality among partners?

I think it's trust.

It is trust in him, and you can tell him everything you can't say to outsiders; It is the trust that he will not leave in the most down-and-out moment; It is * * * who dares to betray his trust when defending the enemy.

What saddens you most after being cheated?

Almost every wife said he lied.

"He lied to me, and it is a good scam in collusion with another woman. I feel like a monkey, and the whole world is watching my jokes. "

"I had no reservations in front of him, quarreled with my colleagues and spoke ill of my leader, but he took my business as a talk with another woman and said that I was not easy to get along with. From then on, I won't tell him anything unless I talk about children and housework. "

Once someone cheats in marriage, the building of trust will instantly turn into sand, leaving nothing.

Lulu said she used to cry a lot. Whether watching movies or watching TV, or even sketches at the Spring Festival party, as long as there is a sensational plot in it, she will cry.

Her husband used to turn around and laugh at her crying when he saw sensational scenes. She beat him and cried and said "hate".

After the affair, she never cried watching TV with him again.

Sometimes I feel moved and want to cry, but I don't want him to see my weakness. To me, he is an outsider, and I don't allow myself to be weak in front of outsiders.

Lulu gradually closed her heart to him, and sometimes life will still be very difficult. She can only carry it hard by herself, and shed a few tears in the middle of the night if she wants to cry.

"I'm afraid to let him catch anything on me and know any shortcomings of me. I think of the scene where he spoke ill of me with another woman countless times. Although I know he has no contact with other women now, I still dare not show myself in front of him. There are two people in this marriage, but I feel completely lonely. "

Marriage can be for love, cooperation or raising children together, but in either case, the other party should be someone you trust and entrust enough to walk through this short life hand in hand.

Isn't it?

If a person has countless dissected faces, and each face has its score, maybe he has a high score on other faces, but his score on the "loyalty" side is extremely low, then it is meaningless for you to score on other faces, because the most important aspect for your partner is loyalty.