A joke performed by three people

Time: One afternoon after school Location: Internet cafe game hall

Character: Teacher Huang (old) and Zhang Xiaoxue (young), primary school students in Internet cafes.

Miss Li, her aunt and middle school teacher (referred to as Zhang)

Setup: There is a wooden sign at the entrance of the platform, which reads "The Emperor's Internet Cafe", a table, two chairs, a computer monitor model, a feather duster and a Bigfoot SMS joke net.

When the curtain rises, the boss goes to bed, turns on the computer, sings and cleans the tables and chairs, and sweeps around with a feather duster.

Old: Game game, you are the most attractive, game game, you make me earn a lot of RMB! Alas, the SARS virus is flying everywhere these days, and my Internet cafe is deserted. Seeing that the fight against SARS is over and business is getting better, no one knows that the school has been strict and said that it will be caught. Students are afraid, so they dare not come. (Look at the platform mouth again, walk back and forth, fidget, sit down) The Yellow Emperor, too, hasn't come back yet. Hey, bring me some business quietly when you come back!

Small: Pupils carry schoolbags. He wore a red scarf on his forehead and tied a knot at the back of his head. Squat down on the stage, shaking your hands like a gun, pointing forward with your arms outstretched, or flashing left and right, or kneeling on the ground with one leg to aim and make a "bang" shooting sound. Stop at the gate of the Internet cafe, take out a bottle of pure water from the bag and throw it at the boss's feet. With a bang, the short man rushes in, points a gun at the boss and shouts) "Don't move! Hands up! "

Old: (raising his head, raising his hand and acting scared) Yes, sir! Please don't shoot. I gave up. (Then smiles and gives a thumbs up) Boy, I admire you! I can see from your skills that you are a master of computer games.

Xiao: (Sorry) Master? Well, I still have a long way to go. Have you contacted Delta Special Forces? This is the only game that I can play a little more skillfully.

Lao: (getting up and giving way) Yes, I have all the shooting games of CS.

(The children sat down to play without saying a word, while the boss watched.)

Old: Kid, which school are you from? I don't think you've been here before?

Xiao: From Chengxi Primary School. Today, I came to your Emperor Internet Cafe to play games.

Lao: Why?

Xiao: Hey, I heard that you have trained a lot of game experts here. I'm here to learn from my teacher.

Old: Of course! Emperor Internet Cafe has an "Internet Cafe Emperor", do you know? That emperor is my treasure-the Yellow Emperor! If you want to play here, I'll ask my son Huangdi to teach you-he plays games but sticks to the tail of a dead fish-instead of putting it away.

Xiao: Wow, the Yellow Emperor is your son? He is my idol. Hey, boss, can you ask him to teach me two tricks at once? .

Old: This boy, I don't know where he has gone and hasn't come back yet. You can come to play more and get in touch with him more often in the future? . Hey hey hey! There are many enemies in this place, so we need AK-47. Yeah, you don't play well.

Xiao: Alas, there is too little time to play-Dad doesn't know how tight it is.

Lao: No wonder.

Xiao: Hey, boss, why isn't anyone playing games here?

Old: There were so many people in the first few days! Those students said that today is Teacher Li's duty week, and they are afraid to catch the person in charge of the Internet cafe.

Xiao: (looking back in surprise) Miss Li? Which teacher Li? I ... I won't make a phone call ... (my eyes are fixed on the computer and my hands are always open, and I can't bear to part)

Old: Miss Li from Chengnan Middle School, what are you afraid of? You are a student of Chengxi Primary School. How can he control you? Nothing!

Xiao: (stand up, continue to play the game, look at the door, hesitate) ... I ... I don't play. ...

Lao: You're not addicted, are you? Don't be afraid, how dare he be a teacher? Dare to hit you? How many children do you think the law enforcement department has the right to control, his teacher? It's the dog that bites-mind your own business! He's here, and we don't even want him in!

Xiao: (hesitates) I ... I. ...

Old: Zizi-I have to fight with you at the door. If the teacher walks towards the internet cafe, I will call the police with you, and you will hide and fight at once. Want it?

Xiao: (sits down) Yes.

Lao: (pointing to the screen) Hey, hey, there are two snipers behind that stone. You threw a Grenade and killed him. I have to go to the door to watch the game with you. (Go to the door, sit down in the chair, open the curtain, probe, retract, and shout in a low voice) Little kids, hide quickly, the devils are going into the village.

Xiao: I see the sinus. I killed three of them. Bang! Ha ha! Another bad one!

Lao: No, it's Miss Li who really came.

Small: (jumping up) A man or a woman? How old is it?

Old: female, 378.

Xiao: (anxiously) Oh, no, this is too complicated. Look around, turn around and squat in Tibet. )

Old: Hurry up, it's closing.

(The child dives under the table with his head in his hands, but his ass is shivering outside. )

Don't be afraid, I'll cover you. (Very calm, act as a feather duster to clean)

Li: Come on, stride forward and talk about these Internet cafes while walking. It's hard for children to read some books ... Alas, such an excellent student ... (Shouting at the door of the Internet cafe) Boss Huang-

Old: Where-who? Oh, Miss Li! Today, you came to my Internet cafe to do your duty again?

Li: No, I'm here for a home visit.

Old: Forget it, Miss Li. Why lie in front of real people? Home visit? Looking for a student baby?

Li: Not only home visits, but also looking for students.

Old: Sorry, please go home for a visit. I am the shop here. As for finding students, you see, here, the paper says "No minors allowed!" "I am a good businessman who abides by the law, and there are absolutely no students in it. Although you, Mr. Li, are an adult, I only welcome customers. If you want to find a student, please show your "law enforcement certificate", otherwise-I won't accompany you.

Li: I'm here to see your Yellow Emperor.

Lao: Absolutely not. What? Looking for the yellow emperor? Even if we fight, it's in my house-the store, the store, and I take charge of the store. Other than that, there is no one at all. If there is, you slap me twice. (Welcome to the store, sit down in the chair in front of the computer desk, move the chair in, and cover the child tightly.) You see, no one spends it inside-well, except the two of us.

Li: (looking around) I'm coming in. Is it a home visit or a shopping trip?

Old: Oh, teacher, you are literate. Why are you talking like a book with us? Don't blame me for being uneasy. Your teacher can't beat the business of our internet cafe.

Li: No matter how poor you are, neither can education nor children be poor. Boss, I told you to stay away from Internet cafes last time. What happened?

Old: Hey? My Internet cafe is 20 1 m away from the gate of your school-I measured it with a tape measure-without violating the relevant regulations of "No Internet cafes within 200 meters around the school"? The whole baby, ahhh, playing games is the whole baby? Look at me, Huangdi. He is smart, has good academic performance and plays games well. ...

Li: I know. A saying circulated among students, "Time flies, Nandi Beggars in the North" refers to the four major game masters in our city, and "Nandi" is your home in the south of the city-the Yellow Emperor.

Lao: Look, this game is good. You should have keen eyes, sharp fingers and a clever brain. You have learned knowledge and exercised your ability. I know my jokes about the Yellow Emperor like the back of my hand. Haha, my son has a good hand.

Li: Not only celebrities, but also famous sayings. He tried his best to advertise in your Internet cafe, saying: The spider invited the mosquito to play, but the mosquito didn't go at first, and then the spider said: I went online. Then the mosquito left. He said that mosquitoes know how to surf the Internet. Do you think Internet cafes are attractive?

Old: (laughs) Smart ... Ha ha laugh. ...

Li: I know your Yellow Emperor is very clever.

Lao: Of course.

Li: I know that your Huangdi used to get good grades.

Lao: Of course.

Li: I know that your Huangdi is going to skip class and play games now.

Lao: Of course. Hey, hey, what's up? Skipping class and playing games? Is this ... true?

Li: Steamed? Still familiar. He didn't attend class all afternoon, okay?

Old: Not good? Boss, I am still in high spirits when I play games at noon. He has a bad heart! I must have quietly stopped playing games! I only agree that he plays games and dares to go to class without class! I'm not going back to kill him!

Li: You Huangdi asked for half a day off several times. Classmates reported that he just went to play games. Now, his grade is 160-you know, he used to be 10.

Old: (angrily) Lao tze to find him at once! See which Internet cafe owner dares to let me play games with Huangdi, so I won't lift his shop!

Li: So … what about you?

Lao: (embarrassed for a while, walks to the platform and closes the shutter door) Whatever. Let's get him back first.

(The child is worried when he finds that he is going to close the door. He moved, pedaled the chair and made a noise. )

Li: Which one?

Old: No one has it. This is a mouse. Oh, no, it's a cat

Li: Which one is it? Point it out yourself. otherwise ...

(The child came out trembling and stood with his back to Miss Li. )

Old: Miss Li, this is ...

Li: Which school? Turn around.

(The child turns around trembling and lowers his head)

Li: You! In a rage, he picked up a feather duster from the table and lifted it to hit it. The child covered his head and ran to hide. )

Old: (stop) Hey, hey! Protect the legitimate rights and interests of women and children! Pupils, not from your South Middle School, why do you care so much?

Li: You ... (holding up the feather duster again and slamming it on the table) I'll handle it!

Old: Hey, you have to understand that you are a teacher! As a teacher, you beat the students! I want to complain to you! (Walking out with his legs raised)

Xiao: (suddenly pulls the boss) Uncle, don't! She is my aunt.

Old: (turning around) Your aunt? This ... Miss Li, he ... came in by himself. This is my first time here. It's really the first time. I ... I don't recognize it again ... otherwise ...

Li: (sitting in a chair limply, putting down the feather duster and waving wearily) Stop it. If you don't teach, your father is guilty; What is a teacher? A strict missionary.

Xiao: Aunt. ...

Li: On a small scale, games can only be an extracurricular entertainment. You can't ignore your study! (untie the red scarf on the child's forehead and fasten it) Aunt believes you. Let's go home.

Old: Hey-Miss Li ... Sorry. I keep my promise. Come on, slap me twice.

Li: Why do you say these things? Boss, your yellow emperor-

Old: I must have a good education. If you don't go, I will.

Li: Come on, let's find your Yellow Emperor?

Old: (exultation) So ... How dare you?

Li: Children are more important! Do to others what you don't want them to do to you! Boss, I hope you can grasp the scale between the roles of father and boss, and run your Internet bar legally, rationally and reasonably.

Old: (embarrassed) Yes, yes, yes. ...

Li: You go to the Internet cafe in the north of the city. Let's go to the Internet cafe in the east of the city. He called back again and asked Huangdi and his mother to go to the "Internet cafe" in the west of the city. Close the door and leave!

Young and old: Let's go together!

Three people took a curtain call.