Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Tell me how you felt when you knew you were pregnant.
Tell me how you felt when you knew you were pregnant.
First, the blood test results from the local hospital have just come out. The doctor said that the blood value is too low, so it is so difficult to have a baby in vitro. It is recommended to double the blood draw in two days. This blood draw value is too unexpected. I have to cry every day these days. My husband told me yesterday that he had long dreamed that I was pregnant, but it was difficult to keep the baby. After the blood test results came out, my husband mentioned his dream again. He said, you see, my dream is coming true. I regret crying every day these days.
Second, how important it is to have a good mother-in-law Why can't I stand it? Today, I staged a scene of crying. I'm pregnant. Is it so hard for you to cook a meal? I cried and made you feel wronged.
Remember when I told you I was pregnant, what was your answer? Now think about how much the original promise can be realized. Why is the ideal always so beautiful and the reality so helpless ~
Fourth, I woke up at this point ~ Today, it is rare for my parents to approve that I can go to my grandmother's house to sweep the grave and get up early to go home. I haven't been home for a long time, and I haven't seen grandma for a long time. I packed a bowl of vegetarian jiaozi for my grandma. I wonder if my grandmother will be cold in such a cold day. Tell grandma I'm pregnant. I hope she can know that I'm very happy. I haven't seen her for so long. I really miss her and need her very much ~
Honey, I'm three months pregnant, but don't worry, it's not yours and you're not responsible.
On the bus, I saw a couple as soon as I got on the bus. I went over to the man and said, I'm pregnant. The man looked at me in shock and the woman stared at me. The air froze for three seconds, then the woman slapped the man and got out of the car. Before I finished, I said, give me your seat.
Seven, when gold got married, she called me a maid of honor and ordered me to gain 20 pounds. I'm confident. If I'm pregnant, I'm afraid I won't gain 20 pounds. Kim pouted and turned to me, saying that her husband was bullying me. Touch Kim's head and say nothing, wife. Show her 20 Jin! Gold stared at him at once, and his friends around him laughed wildly. This may be the little happiness I expected. I'm joking, you're laughing, and you're getting old all the time.
Last night, I dreamed that I was pregnant, twins and two daughters, and I flew very happily.
I asked Uncle Ann what my first reaction was when I knew I was pregnant. He: seeing a friend off. Me:
I had a dream this morning. I dreamed that I was pregnant. More than five months. Or twins. That kind of feeling is too exciting, especially with a sense of accomplishment and happiness.
1 1. The staff showed me the registration procedure just now and asked me if I was pregnant. I have arranged a seat for you near the emergency exit. For unclear matters, please see the emergency exit notice on the back of the boarding pass. I said yes, thank you.
12. I told my mother: If I get pregnant one day, I won't do this job. My mother said, well, it looks like you did it. So we both laughed on the phone. People can't always be selfish, in fact, it comes from feelings and doesn't care about material and the outside world.
Thirteen, when I was just married and not pregnant, I told adults that I couldn't dislike being ugly or getting fat after pregnancy. Later, I got pregnant. He really said that his wife was the most beautiful every day, insisted on giving me an oil massage and accompanied me to do maternity exercises every day. If the husband is like this, what can the wife ask for?
Maybe my position in your heart is like that, but I can care or ignore it. Even if I'm pregnant, so are you. It's all my choice and I deserve it.
15. The last colleague saw that I was pregnant and asked: Are you pregnant? Have you been three months? Haha, I seem to have made another three months.
Sixteen, one day, a dormitory classmate changed his girlfriend's number in his mobile phone to mine while taking a shower. Text him in bed at night. Honey, I'm pregnant. I saw that guy suddenly turn over and get out of bed. Badabada smoked a pack of cigarettes and borrowed money from the dormitory.
When I was eighteen, I dreamed that I was pregnant. I moved two boxes of heavy objects unconsciously, and my stomach hurts. I always worry that I can't keep it. Later, I went to the mountain to play, a ruined temple, and Hong went in to see it. I thought it was a little strange, so I said I wouldn't watch it. Let's go.
Nineteen, go on a blind date, and girls will vomit as soon as they see me. The scene is very embarrassing. I jokingly asked: am I ugly? Ha ha! She quickly explained: no, not because you are ugly, but because I am pregnant! I was relieved to hear that, as long as I didn't think I was ugly, and then we had a good chat.
Twenty, vomiting every three to five, I don't know, I think I'm pregnant.
Twenty-one, I obviously ate a bowl of snail powder before going to bed, and now I'm hungry again. Am I a pig or pregnant?
Twenty-two, you are boring me to death. Why are you suddenly unwilling to talk to me tonight? I just said I went to the hospital myself, and you said I was sick. Don't push me when I'm talking to you, dear. Have you considered my feelings? I know I'm not okay at all. I am lazy. I have a small temper and like to play with my face. If I'm not pregnant, you can't fool me at all. I always dream that you don't want me. I'm either chasing you or crying. I'm so afraid it will come true.
Twenty-three, I have been counting the days since I learned about this pregnancy. Basically, except for my family who didn't tell a few people that I was pregnant, the Spring Festival just passed the safety period, so I can celebrate it. Unexpectedly, I will be sad and angry several times every day, and I can't get high anymore.
Twenty-four, some girls like to put small ornaments on the bedside, but these things will be evocative if they are not put well. A post-90s girl bought some trinkets on the Internet and put them on the bed. I didn't expect to have strange dreams at night, and I felt that someone had pinned me down. It got worse and worse. When I woke up, my underwear was wet. I went to the hospital for examination and even said I was pregnant. It turns out.
25. Although I am pregnant, I really don't like those children in the countryside. They are rude, like to rummage, sabotage, have a dark face and like to cry.
26. A man went to the hospital for a physical examination, and the results came out. But the hospital actually took the wrong report and the pregnant woman's report by mistake, and the test result was pregnancy! After reading the report, the man hurried to his wife and gave her a slap in the face! The man scolded: I said I wanted to go, but you didn't! You have to be on it, and now I'm pregnant!
The food in the canteen is not good today. I drank two bowls of tomato and egg soup and two bowls of vegetable rice and ate some meat. Hehehe, everyone else thinks I'm pregnant.
28, his parents have nothing to say. After living together for two months, I got pregnant. My first reaction was no, I saw the sadness in his eyes! After he told his sister, she told me a lot, such as bad abortion, how about it! Then I called my parents and told them that I had a boyfriend and I wanted to marry him. My father ignored me. I didn't say I was pregnant. My husband asked me not to come back to your house yet, in case your parents let you abort.
Twenty-nine, one day in class, my stupid girlfriend suddenly called me and I asked her what it was. She said that checking the post told me to put me on speaker, and I had to listen to the teacher's voice to clear my innocence. I regret it when I turn it on. Idiot has been shouting all his life, husband, I am pregnant, and everyone should be able to imagine my expression!
Thirty, today is really puzzling. Today, a pregnant woman always stood opposite me on the bus and asked me, "You know I'm pregnant, are you still sitting on her?"? Yeah, what did you say to her? I said the baby is really not mine!
Thirty-one, girlfriends are not allowed to drink. My friend invited me to dinner last night and poured me a full glass. My friend kept toasting, but I bowed my head and said nothing. I don't know why I said, I'm pregnant when my brain twitched. I can't drink. I am pregnant.
I will buy a juicer when I am pregnant and drink a glass of juice every day ~
Thirty-three, too scary, too scary, too scary. I dreamed many times that I was pregnant and gave birth to three children. The father of the child is a broken soul.
Thirty-four, there was a female classmate. Her father wanted her to be a soldier very much, but she was not very willing. Her father took the initiative to sign her up! Finally, on the day of physical examination, my sister reluctantly went to the hospital. After going home for a physical examination, her father asked her how she was. Sister said it was a surprise. Her father: Have you had a physical examination? Sister: I'm pregnant. Her father: You are a liar.
Thirty-five, one day I forgot to write it down in my dream. I dreamed that I was pregnant and ran to tell you that you were happy and said that you were going to have a baby. Let me ask you: How? Can we get married? Uncle doesn't object? I ask you again and again. I probably want to be with you too much. Two months. December 2 nd, February 2 nd. Did you put it down?
Thirty-six, the smell of decoration in the store is so bad that it is freezing every day. The result is bloated like a pig every day and actually fat. All the customers who came to the store thought I was pregnant.
37. Today, I realized how close I am to you. I let you be judged by your family. All because I'm pregnant. I will follow you wherever you go, and my family will talk about you. But what can I do now besides talking to you? I really regret having this baby.
38. I want to buy two cases of wine for my dad, so it is said that I only have my dad in my heart. If so, I will take the initiative to buy clothes for your father? I'll give your father half of the health wine I bought? Every time I go to my dad's house, my dad will buy us ribs to kill the chicken, and he will let us bring another chicken to your dad before he leaves. Where's your dad? Even if I was pregnant with less amniotic fluid, the doctor said to drink more sparerib soup and fish soup, and he never stewed it! What you said made me very disappointed and sad.
It sounds as if I am pregnant, but I prefer Miss Shiori Sakura.
Mood sentences after pregnancy
I know how I feel after pregnancy. I am pregnant! I don't even know! I'm going to have a baby after I get married! Physical examination is posterior position of uterus! Also said that it is not good to have children! I got pregnant in the first month! It's better to have a baby during the physical examination! I was born more than two months ago! In ancient times, I might have had seventy or eighty children!
After menopause for half a year, I went to see a doctor and took Chinese medicine for a week to regulate menstruation. I was lucky enough to be pregnant a week later. I'm 36 years old and I'm taking anti-abortion drugs and folic acid.
Life is like a retired veteran cadre. Get up in the park in the morning, come back to make a pot of tea, and see that the apple tree that has been raised in the yard for three years has finally blossomed ~ that kind of excitement is like a daughter-in-law who has been married for three years and finally got pregnant.
It suddenly occurred to me that when I was in junior high school, I kept asking my mother if she was pregnant. She said no, and then I asked her why her stomach was so big, and then she was silent.
I don't know if I'm pregnant or something. When I hear a word that doesn't go my way, it's easy to think more and sulk. It's really annoying I always feel compared with my sister-in-law. Your daughter's mother-in-law doesn't care Do you want me to do it? impossible
Last February, I went to the gym and got a fitness card. I hired a personal trainer. I didn't practice for two days and found that I was pregnant. A pregnant woman turned into a ghost. I can't bear to look into my eyes. The urgent task is to lose weight.
Since I put forward the plan to have children with Mr. Chen, I have started to have all kinds of worries and doubts: can I get pregnant? What if I can't get pregnant? Will I be infertile?
On March 29th, I found myself pregnant. Dramatic scene, pregnancy test stick expired. I went to the business theory and gave me another one. I went to Dai Yu Park for a check-up, and the results still showed that I was pregnant. Awei didn't want to believe it.
My hot mom client has two babies, Sambo is pregnant. Eat a big cup every day, my local tyrant sister, she said that after eating bird's nest for a year, she should buy one less bag and love herself. Do you think I'm beautiful?
Honeymoon trip. Now I'm pregnant. I just didn't expect such a stupid person to have a baby. However, it's perfect to be close to people you like.
I hate myself, knowing that I can't do it, but I still can't help making mistakes. I regret being afraid afterwards and have been lying to myself. Now that I am pregnant with a baby, I have to endure some things! Hate yourself, from now on! ! !
My period is delayed by 1 day, which has never happened before. My heart is full of worries and fears about whether I am really pregnant with a baby. I'm really not ready at all. Whether mentally or materially, giving birth to a child is doomed to be extremely difficult. I hope not. If the baby does come, it's an accident arranged by God.
I think it is necessary to leave a souvenir. This is my reaction when I didn't know I was pregnant. My husband also said that I might be pregnant. I said it might be swollen. Ha ha ha, it turns out that the brain has been deprived of oxygen for too long after playing mobile phones.
Looking at this slightly bulging abdomen, I feel: Ah, there is a baby in my stomach. Only then did I feel, oh, I'm pregnant, and I'm getting pregnant. More than three months of morning sickness reaction is finally coming to an end, and a new round of pregnancy syndrome is coming again. How old are you, baby? How can it oppress the nerves? It is not easy to be numb, and it is difficult to turn over when sleeping.
Share your pregnancy. The circle of friends seems to be really pregnant with a baby.
Xiao Xuan is pregnant. They are twins.
I am pregnant. I just had a B-ultrasound. Someone is in charge.
She's still agile when she's pregnant.
Oh, yo, hey, I just had a B-ultrasound and found out I was pregnant. Looks like I'm going to be a resident father.
No wonder I found you fat, so you are pregnant.
I am pregnant with a super baby, and I hope to receive your blessing.
With cosmetic contact lenses, my eyes really got bigger. Hehehe, I have to be beautiful when I am pregnant, otherwise I will be happy.
Give birth to a baby pig without pregnancy! May and April were smooth and safe with Dabao.
My sisters will become aunts. I also want to eat well, sleep well and be a good mother. Try not to put the child on my sister's bed.
Pregnancy has symptoms. One child didn't appear, and the second child appeared! I can see the baby in half a month. I hope everything goes well!
Husband's surname came and came back, and now he is pregnant with a baby. Worried about the child's name, ask God for help.
Today, I confirmed that I was pregnant with a baby, and my sister put down her hanging heart. Yesterday, other doctors said that I might be ill, which made my sisters cry.
I am pregnant. I met a familiar doctor. After the date, the alarm clock of physical examination and bag hasn't rung yet. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
I'm almost 50 days pregnant now. I thought it was because she could eat too much, so she was pregnant! So I'm pregnant! Twisted smile.jpg
I finally know why I get pregnant so easily. It turned out that I ate too much staple food (especially rice).
Before, I thought that a senior sister's doctoral defense was to go abroad in advance. It turned out that she was pregnant at a young age, studying for a master's degree, a graduate student, getting married, getting pregnant, graduating, giving birth to a baby, and then entering the station.
Lying in bed in the morning, groping for my stomach in a daze, wondering why my stomach is so big and my intestines are still growling. I was awakened by urine and remembered that I was pregnant. I guess my son can't stand it either. Someone woke me up.
I always thought I was pregnant, so I lost my appetite. Now it seems that I can't live without love because the people I want to eat won't let me.
Talk about the happy mood after pregnancy
1, countdown is 100 days! !
2. Love you more than yourself, baby, come on!
3, the feeling of being kicked around by the baby every day is really happy.
4. The days of pregnancy are really happy. I am disabled at home every day. I can eat whenever I want and sleep whenever I want.
5, happy, really happy to be pregnant, my husband is in charge of everything, and the fruit is ready every day.
6. In the long pregnancy process, it is also the most beautiful moment for a woman to be painful and happy.
7. I am pregnant. In the new year, God gave me the best New Year gift.
8. I am seven months pregnant. I feel very happy watching the baby grow up day by day. I look forward to ta coming to me safely and healthily.
About five months ago, I felt my little baby moving. That moment was really wonderful and I was deeply moved.
10, the baby was really happy when he punched and kicked on his stomach.
1 1. Although pregnancy is a little hard, I am very happy every time I move.
12, maternal love is natural, from the day of pregnancy, from the day when the baby is formed in the mother's body, the mother has a very special feeling and soon becomes love.
13, I always think pregnancy should be a very happy thing!
14, tossing and turning since pregnancy. Seeing the clothes sent by my best friend, I suddenly miss the appearance of the child after birth. Being a mother is really happy.
15, looking at my circle of friends during pregnancy, I am silly every day, but I don't know that I was really happy at that time.
Tell me if you dreamed that you were pregnant.
I had three independent dreams. The first one dreamed of being proposed and writing a prenuptial property agreement. The second dream saw me pregnant. It's so lifelike, I wake up lifelike, and I can't believe my stomach is flat. Because it's coming. The third dream is adventure. There are leaders who run for their lives, monsters who can't be killed, and me who bravely fights monsters.
Tell me if you dreamed that you were pregnant.
First, dreaming that you are pregnant has a very real heavy feeling.
Second, all the female colleagues in the department have children, so the daily chat at work is that the baby of my best friend is several months old, and the daily chat with my best friend after work is also a child, which leads me to dream of being a child for several days in a row. The day before yesterday, I dreamed of holding someone else's baby for 20 days. The day before yesterday, I dreamed of being pregnant. Yesterday, I dreamed of bathing my colleague's baby. I always thought it would take two years to get married and it would be very troublesome to have children. Now I think being a mother is actually a very happy thing.
Thirdly, I had a terrible dream that I was going to buy ice cream. Results Ice cream showed that pregnant women under 18 could not eat it. I bought it after all. I don't belong to it. My roommate woke me up before I took a bite.
Last night, I dreamed that my classmate said she was pregnant and got married on the 22nd of this month. Then I dreamed that I was pregnant, too
I dreamed that I was pregnant and gave birth to a daughter, and I held her in my hand. Tell me about it. Last night I dreamed that I was pregnant again. I'm five months pregnant this time, but it suddenly occurred to me that I didn't have a prenatal examination. He squirmed in my stomach, scaring my child that it might be deformed.
Twenty, sleep in the morning and dream that you are pregnant! ! ! I didn't see the baby's father from beginning to end, and I was the only one who was there struggling whether to take it off for him or not. I've been pregnant since my dream.
Twenty-one, I dreamed that I was pregnant and gave birth to a human cub about the size of a newborn panda cub.
Twenty-two, the first operation in my life, that feeling is not as terrible as I thought, and it will be over after sleeping under general anesthesia. The little fat girl in the next bed came out crying and said that she dreamed that she was pregnant. Maybe on the way to beg for children, everyone feels very wronged. This grievance is a tear in her eyes. Once it overflows, it can't be stopped.
Twenty-three, absolutely, I dreamed that I was pregnant, giving birth, and I was already in the hospital. The father of the child was lying down, so he secretly came to accompany the bed to avoid reporters because it was not made public. that this is not the important question. The point is that I have been crying in bed, tearing my heart out! ! Cut me open! ! I want to cut! ! !
I dreamed that I was pregnant, that my family forced me to get married when I returned to China, and then I married a stranger I didn't like. Then one day Ma Ma suddenly told me that I was pregnant. I'm so shocked. I can't have had sex with any man since we separated. How could I be pregnant? I was anxious in my dream, convinced that I didn't betray myself, but I was afraid that I would be framed, and then blamed myself for betraying you. In my dream, I took Chris and they accompanied me to the hospital for examination. I can't believe I'm pregnant. If I am pregnant, I will have an abortion. I don't have
Twenty-five, I read the food diary yesterday and hatched chickens. Sleep at night and dream that you are pregnant.
I had hallucinations in the morning. I didn't know about the phone. I was called by my mother-in-law and Xu Ge twice to check my mobile phone. Then I dreamed that I was pregnant, like twins. What could be more terrible than this?
Twenty-seven, many people came to me and asked me what it meant to dream that I was pregnant. In fact, many women will have this dream, not necessarily related to children or infant spirits. And there are a small number of fetal dreams, that is, there is an omen of reality, which indicates that you will really be pregnant. This is a minority. I generally mean: dreaming of pregnancy may really be nothing, so don't associate it with infant spirits or something, hmm. So what does it usually mean? Generally speaking, this is a good morality, a new beginning, a good opportunity and a challenge that needs to be taken seriously. It also reflects that dreamers should get satisfaction in reality.
28. I dreamed that I was pregnant yesterday and went to the hospital with a stomachache. Moreover, the pregnancy test is a boy, and I think it is another boy. Later, I had to let my father work abroad to earn money to support his family. It was a caesarean section before, and this baby has to be cut off. And so on, all because of the excessive and complicated sequelae of dinner.
Twenty-nine, four months pregnant, dreaming that I was born, the first reaction was that the clothes I just bought in Tmall could no longer be worn?
Thirty, I have dreamed for two consecutive nights that I was pregnant and gave birth to a baby.
Thirty-one, I remember a dream: I dreamed that I gave birth to a child during pregnancy and left blood. But after I was born, I found myself living in a house with Prince Yi, and I talked to him in my dream. He lowered his head and asked me what was going on. I am embarrassed in my dream and embarrassed to disturb others (this is really a dream)
I dreamed of getting married a few days ago, but I dreamed of being pregnant yesterday. This spring has passed.
33. Tell me about the dream I had last night. Dream that the person you like is pregnant. We met at school and haven't contacted each other for a long time. I hugged her excitedly. Her stomach was wrapped in clothes. I didn't notice. The first sentence I asked her whose child this is, but I said in my heart, who has anything to do with you. She said that she was married and had a good life after marriage. I really want to tell her that I have always liked it.
I want to lose weight. I dreamed that I was pregnant last night, and I couldn't figure out where the baby came from for a long time. Then the hospital examination showed that there was too much belly meat/
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