Those invincible evil spirits are very funny. Tell me about 202 1.

1, if you live a miserable life, I will laugh wildly.

2. deskmate I really envy you having such a good deskmate as me. This is really a blessing for our predecessors.

3. I bought a bag of Oreos and learned to twist them on TV. Can't I wipe it off at all?

I was afraid of the dark since I was a child, and I didn't study well when I was a child because I didn't dare to look at the blackboard.

Some people pay for shopping, and some people hold umbrellas when it rains. Even bickering is romantic.

6. I used to think that everyone with high qq level was awesome, but now I find that people who get more exposed get older.

7. Some people say that if I fall in love, my IQ will go to zero. I fell in love with my homework, didn't I?

8. Time is like running water, flowing slowly and then converging in time.

9. Love is like glass, it will break when someone taps it lightly.

10, since local tyrants are friends, send a local gold mobile phone.

1 1. If I can't have the beauty of heaven, then let me go to your world.

12, trying to make money, buy an ATM in the future.

13. If you see a man dragging his underwear outside, don't be afraid. Maybe he really is Superman.

14, who said that women are narrow-minded? A woman is not narrow-minded, but a man takes her heart away.

15, how time flies, and you become an old man in a blink of an eye.

16, I want to eat all the soy sauce in the world and make others jealous.

17. Life is like making a phone call. Either you hang up first, or I hang up first.

18, when the goods have a shelf life and people are tired of watching them, how long can you be awesome in my heart?

19, getting fat is not my fault, it's your fault, and it always makes me angry.

20. Sorry, the number you dialed is married. Please delete it, so you don't have to contact me in the future.

2 1, I must live with you. If I were not your wife, I would be your stepmother.

22. Money is a piece of paper if it is not spent, and money if it is spent.

23. I struggle with two things every day. I don't want to sleep at night and I don't want to wake up during the day.

24. Time is the best teacher, but unfortunately it kills students in the end.

25. They all say that I am naughty and have ADHD, but I feel that I am the most naughty one.

26. Meeting strangers is really troublesome. Many lies should be told again.

27. Student: There is no limit to learning. If you want to use it, use Noah's ark.

28, this year, whether Sohu or sogou, cats just don't understand.

29. It would be great if the apple tree could really produce an iphone.

The rule of success is to read more books, read more newspapers, eat less snacks and sleep more.

3 1. Draw a circle. The people inside are murderers.

Every time I see a man dawdling, chattering and sloppy, my sister wants to slap him.

33. I skipped classes too much. I want to go to class today. When I met the teacher, the teacher was surprised and said, long time no see. I have grown so big.

34, live like a hero, you can really win the beauty, it takes a long time to cultivate a hero's heart.

Only a bright future is suitable for an upper-class person like you.

Even if you know what I'm thinking, it doesn't mean you really know me.

37. It's cool to hit a tree by bike.

38. My greatest advantage is that I can't talk to you without telling you a story.

Please leave my love and keep leaving my world.

40. If you are scum, you will never be a schoolmaster; If you are weak, you will never be strong.

4 1, if I had known your sister's heart had changed, why did you finally fucking talk about love?

42. Don't look at me, I am invincible. Actually, I was shot in the heart.

Get out of my sight with your arrogant attitude.

44. I'm talking about a love that won't break up even when men are no longer interested.

45. Give up loving you and keep digging for people who can find me good.

46. Sorry, I have my happiness and don't want to be your spare tire.

47. Don't say goodbye, just say goodbye.

48. I want to give you all my happiness, but you don't want to take it away.

49. Either you always love me or you leave me as soon as possible.

Girl, don't cry easily. Are your tears tap water?

Humble and funny.

1, the disease comes from the mouth, and the disaster comes from the mouth, so it is safest to shut up.

2. People have four states: busy, busy, busy and unhurried.

When you think that the person you like likes you, it is usually that you think too much.

Eggs break food from the outside and life from the inside.

It is better to eat in the supermarket before the end of the day.

6. The secret crush changed his hairstyle yesterday, and I suddenly felt that I had changed my mind.

As a monster, my wish is to destroy at least one Altman.

8. Laugh for ten years, then laugh at wrinkles.

9. Three laws of the workplace; : either bear it! Either hard! Or get out.

10, friendship is like a vase, it will break when it is smashed.

1 1, I connected all my memories into a movie, and a tragedy happened.

12, the Smurfs sang "When I grow up, I will be you" to Avatar.

13, chased a bus in the morning and chased it to the terminal.

14. Either you don't work hard or you don't work hard.

15, dreams can't be measured by money, otherwise your dreams will depreciate.

16, this book is particularly good, so I have been reluctant to read it.

17, although giving up won't kill you, even death won't give up.

18, be sure to live well, get old slowly, get sick late and die quickly.

19, you are a thick-skinned person and say you treat people well.

20, family affairs, state affairs, no money to eat is a big deal.

2 1, I am a person, and you are not me, so you are not a person.

You can't eat as a meal, but I'm full as soon as I see you.

23. Why are you sleepy when reading? Because books are where dreams begin.

24. That year, Aoi sora was still a virgin, and Guan had no camera.

25. People have lost weight, waist and buttocks. Why do we have to start with brain cells?

26. I asked God: How to be happy at the same time about forget the sorrow. God replied: Drive yourself crazy.

27, shameless this matter, if done well, is called excellent psychological quality.

Since I bought insurance, I haven't looked at the traffic lights when I walk.

China Mobile and China Unicom are husband and wife. Gave birth to a child named China Telecom.

30. When money stood up and spoke, all truths fell asleep.

3 1, Laozi is my son's passport, and my son is my epitaph.

32. I only see you. Okay ... so I'm just an eye drop.

33. Tea is really pitiful. If you soak it, praise it. If you soak it, throw it away mercilessly.

34. When there is no money, there are a group of friends; When you have money, there are a group of bodyguards. ...

35. Life is like a pancake. You have to turn it over several times before it matures.

36. Young people don't work hard. The boss does his homework.

37. Hold your hand. If the child doesn't leave, he will stun the child and continue to drag it.

38. Dinosaurs all died in the last doomsday; So I'm worried about you this time.

39. Others speak the truth after drinking, but I only vomit food after drinking.

40. Metal detectors are not only used for security inspection, but also used by some people to pick up garbage.

4 1, what if the world ends? Suicide. Why? Go down and sit down for a while.

42. How many people's reputations have been ruined by so-called good friends?

43. A good girlfriend can save your computer 200G hard disk.

44. the Monkey King is so fickle that she is destined to be single.

45. The wind is rustling and the water is cold. If you owe money, you have to pay it back.

46. It is said that cutting a flat head is proud for a lifetime, so is it smart to cut a pig's head for a lifetime?

How many people in the world owe you money? It makes you look dead every day, not buried.

The meanest and funniest talk.

The meanest and funniest talk.

1. My son will be a small leader in a department after graduation. Accustomed to leadership, the father said, "Do you know what was the most important thing just now?" ? The son wanted to think, of course, to establish prestige. . . . . Father nodded and obeyed! Who knows that the son continued to say that WeChat, qq group and circle of friends should be built, and everyone should have fun together!

Today, the weather is very hot. An old man is crossing the road. Just as a car came and knocked him down, the old man stood up. Passers-by praised him one after another, saying that he is of good quality and is not mistaken! For example! The old man couldn't stand it, and said loudly, don't fight there, your fucking ass will burn! Sit down and try!

Manager, starting from today, your monthly salary will increase to 5000 yuan! Employee a, yes, long live the manager! Employee B, the manager, is it because our company is profitable? Manager, no, because today is April Fool's Day! !

My mother wants to buy clothes for my daughter. I didn't want my mother to spend money, so I kept stopping her. My daughter can't take it anymore. She took me aside and scolded me. Look, your mother is so angry. Why don't you listen to your mother? Your hair has turned you white. If grandma wants to buy it for me, you can buy it.

I have a 6-year-old son. I went to the training class yesterday afternoon, but I couldn't find him. I'm worried about our family. Is my son lost? Finally, I had no choice but to call the police. My wife wandered to the neighbor's house crying. Suddenly, she heard someone whispering in the bedroom, went in and found her son. that this is not the important question. The point is that he slept naked with his neighbor's 7-year-old daughter. I have to say, son, you have a bright future! ! I'm proud of you.

6. I took a fake fifty-dollar bill to the toy store and took a fancy to a plane to pay for it. I handed the fifty-dollar bill to the cashier and said it was fake. I didn't like it then. It sounds like your plane is real.

7. My cousin came to see me and had dinner with them. During the dinner, the two showed their love. Brother-in-law, Daniel Wu and Takeshi Kaneshiro, who do you think is more handsome? Sister, huh? Are you not included in the options? My brother-in-law looks shy, so who is the most handsome, Daniel Wu, Takeshi Kaneshiro or me? ~ Sister, Daniel Wu.

8. Have you installed satellite positioning or electronic tracking? Beauty, I've been avoiding you since I was fifty meters away! You're driving in the wrong direction! I avoid you and bring it to green! You still hit so accurately! Fortunately, you are an electric car. If you change to a four-wheeled one, I will be in the crematorium!

9. A relative at home introduced an object, and the photo was sent directly to my mother's mobile phone. She refused, and told me three days ago that the reason for her refusal was that she was too thin, her breasts were too big and she was not good-looking. Now I want to know what procedures are needed to sever the mother-child relationship, online and so on. It's urgent !

10, several buddies took their female friends to the playground to play. When we arrived at the haunted house, we shouted at the ghost in order not to lose face in front of our female friends. Later, when we went to play again, we saw that the last item of the travel instructions next to the door was marked with a red pen, and it was forbidden to scare ghosts.

1 1, Zhengzhou (four people) on business. Today, I returned to Shenyang. When I walked out of the hotel, I couldn't get a taxi. In desperation, I took four motorcycles (electric cars) to the subway station. After getting off the bus and paying the money, I was delayed at the subway entrance for a while. Five minutes later, one of the motorcycles came back and sent back the suitcase we forgot to take with us. I've always heard that Henan people are so bad.

12, Wuhan was flooded by rain. A colleague of mine had a big fight with his wife. Do you know why? His daughter-in-law called him and said that it was raining heavily and the road was flooded, so he couldn't go back. That buddy was anxious when he heard it, and immediately said, be careful, don't drop your mobile phone in the water.

13, damn it, I lent my bike with more than 500 yuan to others, and after a few days, I said it was stolen. I stole it after being polite, and then there was no sound. The point is that his family is rich and I am poor. I really don't know what these people think, and they are happy to take advantage.

14, my husband was working outside and should have come back around 10, but suddenly came back the next day. I asked him, how did you come back so far? He said affectionately, "I came all the way back to see you!" " As a result, he really only looked at me, and then took his mobile phone to see it!

15, call your wife. My two-and-a-half-year-old daughter replied. Hello, daughter! Who are you? I heard my daughter's voice say, I am your father's daughter. Oh! You call your father. I said put your mother on the phone. I only heard my daughter shout and my mother answered the phone. The wife asked who she was. Daughter answers: Your father. The wife came to answer the phone while reprimanding. The child didn't even call grandpa. Take the phone and say to me, dad! what's up

16. Today, my wife asked me why I bought insurance for myself instead of her! I said I have a guarantee for your future! In case I die, the insurance company will pay you and your son a lot of money! She called me selfish! What if I'm not dead? All right! You are so cruel! I wish myself a long life.

17, at work, a colleague answered the phone. It's his four-year-old son (the child had a good time in his hometown after the holiday). Dad, don't come back. I was in a bad mood as soon as you came back, so don't come back and don't call me in the future. Colleagues smiled and said, well, dad will pick you up when school starts.

18, a university claimed to build a world-class university on the cat's paw, but it became a world rogue university due to careless typing. Seven days later, I found the mistake, but no one corrected it. All the posts are awesome!

19, I didn't know how to say flat chest last night, and then we discussed what flat chest is. Suddenly a roommate said firmly, get out of the way. I'll take off my bra and show you what a flat chest is!

20. My brother found that the landlord relied on the yellow calendar, so he asked his brother, why do you want to see the yellow calendar? Because following the yellow calendar can make people lucky. Later, my brother followed my example. As a result, one day in the yellow calendar, he said not to release water. He hasn't peed all day, lying in bed sweating, brother! Avoid water in the yellow calendar is not to prevent you from peeing! Mom, please listen to me!

2 1, chatting with a friend, he said, "My dad asked me to go back to raise cattle and bought four or five hundred cows to let me go home to raise them. I said, yes, your family is quite rich. If a cow costs 10 thousand yuan a head, four or five hundred heads will be four or five million. I didn't see it. He paused and said, "I'm talking about snails. " .。

22. Now it is said that post-70s and post-80s are not easy to get along with. In fact, the hardest thing is that we are born after 90. We have little experience after 80s, little savings after 70s and little experience after 60s, but we are burdened with high prices and housing prices, and we have to pretend to be grandchildren for work, so we can't live fast. Be in a bad mood, complain

23. There is a three-year-old girl at home who watches TV together. She is eating seaweed. She saw it and ate it with her. She didn't object. After a while, she burst into tears. You ate all my seaweed and lost it. You pay! Mother is so poor that she can't afford the money. Hey, the little guy stopped crying and turned off the sofa. He grabbed her father and roared that your husband had money to buy seaweed and asked him to pay for it.

The head teacher asked us to write a composition ourselves. Hall deskmate wrote it in the latest episode of The Wanderer of Power, which was our favorite at that time! Change the names of the characters inside to me and several neighboring tables. But this composition was praised by the class teacher in public the next day! It's good anyway. The climax came, and the class teacher asked the deskmate to read the composition aloud on the podium. Except some female students, all the male students below us laughed.

25. When I arrived at the breakfast shop, I found that the next table was a neighbor. Because I didn't have enough money, I had to eat slowly. I was going to pay the bill first or wait until he finished eating. Two hours later, he couldn't help but come and tell me, why don't we give it to each other. I don't have enough money.

26. Today, the girl ticket is cooking, and I am tidying up the dishes. The female ticket tasted the food she cooked and said with intoxication, the fried food is really delicious! I said, when the dog is delicious, he thinks, it tastes delicious! I suddenly feel cold and wooshing in my back.

27, hello everyone. I just saw a warm reminder that April Fool's Day confession is simply weak. Tomb-Sweeping Day's confession is king, because in case of rejection, you can say that you are embarrassed and just possessed.

28. On April Fool's Day, the aunt in the boarding dormitory rushed into the classmate's dormitory and said, "Are there two men hiding in your dormitory?" Everyone in the dormitory was angry, and one of the women said fiercely, "How can two men feed six of us?"

My neighbor keeps two rabbits in the yard, and my daughter likes them very much. I go to see rabbits every day, feed them leaves and sing children's songs of rabbits. On this day, my daughter dragged me to see the rabbit with her and asked me why my mother, Colette next door, didn't see the rabbit. I said, Colette is too busy to see rabbits. The daughter went on to say, "If you don't look at rabbits, why keep rabbits?"

30. I went to my uncle's house to play when I was a child. A rooster likes me very much and plays well with me. My uncle saw me playing with a rooster and asked me if I wanted to eat a rooster. At that time, I was too young to hear clearly. I thought my uncle would give it to me, so I readily agreed. In the evening, the rooster went to the pot. Crying for a long time with chicken bones.

3 1, a buddy talked about a girlfriend, who was his father's former lover. Sadly, her mother also took someone to beat her. What's more tragic is that my buddy didn't know about it and took her to see her parents. At that time, at the scene,

32. Check with my boudoir. When the results came out, we asked by the way whether it was a boy or a girl. The doctor is not sure. My best friend also asked me why I was not sure. I took her away. I told you the answer. Why do you ask?

33. Sister, why are there boys standing in the ladies' room in your hotel to pee? Sister, shh, keep your voice down. This is the secret of our hotel! Sister, please tell me! Sister Korean stars often come to our hotel ~ ~ ~

34. The patient said to the dentist, "You really make money. You won $65,438+00 in just three seconds. The doctor replied, if you like, I can pull it out for you in slow motion.

35. I felt a little sleepy while driving, so I parked my car on the side of the road and prepared to take a nap. Unexpectedly, just after I closed my eyes, a cold voice came from the co-pilot. Do you want to pass the road test?

36. When you go to tattoo, ask the tattoo master what is more domineering, which makes people stay away from it! The tattoo master introduced me to classic tattoos such as dragon, tiger, wolf and leopard. Finally, I thought about it and said to him, give me a national road! Let them know I'm in the street, too

37. Go out to play with friends, pass by a barber shop and want to get a haircut. Because it's hot in summer, I say I have a crew cut. After washing my hair, the barber stood behind me and looked at me in the mirror. Seriously, why did the young man have such a long crew cut? Tell me what you can't forget. I was confused in an instant.

38. During the break, a classmate was secretly playing with his mobile phone. After I had eye contact with my classmates for a period of time, we fixed our eyes on that classmate's mobile phone together. When his mobile phone was taken away by the teacher, we silently withdrew our eyes.

39. In Chinese class, the teacher saw Xiaogang sleepy and said to Xiaogang, "Xiaogang, what's the next sentence of three thousand harems?" Xiao Gang stood up with a red face and answered half-loudly: "Iron bars will also be ground into needles!" " The whole class burst into laughter.

40. A friend from the city went to my hometown to play. He saw the sheep dung ball on the roadside and said with emotion, "You country people are really wasting. Isn't this peanut skin just a black spot? It's scattered everywhere! I laughed, it was accidentally fried when it was fried!

4 1, quarreled with my father, so I called my father on my grandfather's mobile phone. Hello after the connection! Dad, then I secretly replied, hey! Son. Forget it. The doctor called my number.

42. My friend asked me, who is the boss in your family, your father, your mother or you? I shook my head. There is no boss in my family. He said enviously, "Your family is really democratic, and my mother is the boss, bullying others." . I took a sip of water and then said, "My mother forbids us to mention old words in front of her, so my father and I usually call her a respected leader." .

43. My uncle has a big licensed truck in Tianjin, which he bought in the 1990s. He has been driving with him for a long time. Once he drove to work, turned left and waited for the red light. When the green light was on, he began to hit the direction. With a hard press, the steering wheel lost its left turn signal for a short time. In the rage of the car behind, my uncle calmly took the square plate out of the window, and the world was instantly quiet.

44. I secretly kissed the little girl at the same table in class. My little girl stared at me coldly and said, "classmate, please stay focused." I was shocked! Then he gave a big happy kiss.

45. I went to a fast food restaurant for dinner today. The young couple at the next table are showing their love. I saw the man just fed the woman a mouthful of rice. The woman asked me dear, who else have you fed besides me? To tell the truth, the man thought about it and said the dog with trepidation. . . I sprayed rice in an instant

Boys' evil spirits talk about cold personality

1, use anger to cover up sincerity, use stupidity to cover up wisdom, and use superficial gentleness to cover up the unruly and unruly inside. ...

Actually, I don't want to have you, but I am attracted by your smile.

3. A man with a good temper is particularly attractive.

4. A man is like a coin, with 1 in front and chrysanthemums behind.

If I have to die, I will take darkness as my bride and hug it in my arms.

6. Life is too short to eat, drink and be merry. A hundred years is too long. We can't seize the day.

7. In this world, do nothing or do your best.

8. I'm not so much a playboy as you can't catch my heart.

I won't tell you if you kill me. You haven't done a honey trap yet!

10, brothers used to be scattered, and fame and fortune were early. I love and hate glory, and I have no intention of fighting again.

1 1. Although I like her very much, I never told her, because I know that what I can't get is always the best.

12, I like to help others, especially girls.

13, men's eyes lie.

14, the wind is rustling and the water is cold, and the strong man hits the dog, which is gone forever.

15, bullshit, they say it's love. I heard it and smelled it, but no one saw it.

16, I drove my mother on a motorcycle and slammed the accelerator to shout safety first. My mother beat me up.

17, I generally don't love people, I don't love ordinary people, and I love them very much.

18, if 1 million people love me and 100 million people hate me; I will repay the former with actions and convince the latter!

19, boss, give me a smart haircut. I want to run with the bull.

20. Women are like clothes, but pay attention. Sometimes women are underwear, more likely prison clothes.

2 1. I've smoked and burned my hands all my life. Drinking wine for a lifetime will make you ugly for a lifetime.

22. The ex-girlfriend is a friend. Can I add my ex-boyfriend back as a friend?

23. In the workplace, I should, like Conan, have a domineering attitude of letting others die wherever I go.

Brother, your home is here. No matter what you do, your boy is waiting for you.

25, brothers are the sky, brothers are the earth, and more brothers can stand tall.

26. Ask your brother how long it will take and how long his heartbeat will last.

27, the old woman is the man of this world, don't fall in love with a bitch.

28, an idle man, indifferent love.

29, it's cold, hold your hand tightly, don't let any man walk into your heart, only me.

30. Why should the best man be called an extinct person? Even if he has no seeds, he is still a man.

3 1, if I am a woman in my next life! I will definitely marry a man like me!

32. A man, with cigarettes and wine, will have a story.

33. It is said that men are colored. In fact, women are not much better, but men are obviously colored and women are introverted.

34. Women are heartless. Why should men be affectionate?

35. Women are tools to make human beings, while men are human beings who use tools.

36. A man, even if he is rebellious and free when he is young, will try to be a woman sooner or later.

37. The rich have a loud voice, but the wives of the poor have a loud voice.

38. Every successful man has a fast broadcast on his computer.

39. Don't fall in love with a bitch.

40. It is difficult to be a man, a woman, a man and a good person. Might as well be a child.

4 1. Behind a successful man, there is always a woman who loves him.

42. Men don't rely on handsome, they all rely on demeanor.

43. A man can suffer all his life, but he can never suffer the woman who will accompany you all his life.

44. Once a woman is heartless, she is more destructive than a man.

45. Men have gold under their knees. I cut off my whole leg and didn't even find a copper coin!

46. A man can use his life to hurt a woman. What do you use to hurt a person?

47. The ancients said: Men have gold under their knees, and I have foot hair under my knees.

48. Russia's responsibility is to be the person in front of you.

Remember, women and husbands are men who won't let you suffer.

50. Women should stand behind men. Give your body at any time.