Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - [Lucky Star Storytelling] Xiao Haizui said, "Spread the Jianghu."

[Lucky Star Storytelling] Xiao Haizui said, "Spread the Jianghu."

? On a quiet night, the breeze passed gently, and the soft moonlight fell on every corner of the city.

? At this time, in a pub, the number of guests gradually decreased.

? ……

Xiaohai drank a lot, was a little drunk, and talked with the lucky star.

Xiaohai "mixed" in the stall for some days, practiced hard every day, came and went in the wind and rain, and made a group of diligent and like-minded friends.

Ordinary people say: birds of a feather flock together, people are divided into groups, and friends are rare in life. It is really a great blessing for fellow travelers to get drunk and sing.

Companions always like to compare "setting up a stall" to "Jianghu", and every Jianghu person always wants to practice his martial arts. Some are self-taught, some are apprentices, and some are famous teachers.

Xiaohai prefers to get drunk. "Look closely at the turbulent rivers and lakes, and be drunk and say the man of the hour."

Since he is drunk talking about Jianghu, Xiaohai will inevitably apply the classic role of Wulin and start telling lucky stars about the man of the hour whom Xiaohai has known for many years.

? ……

When Xiao Hai was talking, the owner and clerk of the pub were whispering:

"She is drunk and talking nonsense again," said the shop assistant and the boss.

The boss took out a stack of A4 papers from the drawer, tapped the clerk on the head and said, "How do you know it's nonsense?"

"Isn't it?" The clerk is puzzled.

"Really?" The boss asked again.

Knowing that she couldn't beat the boss, the shop assistant skillfully changed the subject: "Boss, are you remembering her drunken words again?"

"Too much! Still not going to work? " The boss didn't want the clerk to disturb him in remembering what Xiaohai said, so he urged the clerk to go to work.

Knowing that the boss didn't want to be disturbed, the clerk said, "It's almost closing time and the work is almost finished. Why didn't the boss show me what he had written before? "

"Take it! Take it! " The boss sent it impatiently,

The clerk took it cheerfully, only glanced at it and asked, "No! She is drunk every time she talks. How can she talk so much? "

"Young man, the human brain is used for thinking. Doesn't she talk when she's not drunk? " The boss taught me,

The clerk "oh", began to look at the contents of the paper records:

The condor hero in the compartment

When Xiaohai first started to "mix" the stalls, he practiced the stalls in "Double Mang Jing" and met two couples who sold very well.

A couple focus on the backlog of clothes. Xiaohai likes to call them "Mr. and Mrs. Lao Wu".

Lao Wu likes to use classic language to attract guests around him. He is a master of "language is not surprising and never dies"

? "9 pieces! Nine dollars! You don't need a bowl of powder and a plate! ! ! "

If you are in the "Ma Shuangjing", you can hear this loud cry from a distance, and that is "Lao Wu". If you are tired of listening, he will jump to another brand-new sentence at any time.

Eloquence is very important Some people say it's endorsement, others say it's too technical and emotionless. Lao Wu is different. What he says is like a part of his body. Others may not learn. No matter how fast your brain is spinning, there is not a piece in his mouth. The couple is a typical "husband and wife are United, and their profits are broken."

Another couple focuses on middle-aged and elderly women's wear, and Xiaohaijia likes to call them "Huang Mao couple".

The most noteworthy thing for the couple is that as long as you walk past their position, you will never let your eyes leave them. My husband can introduce clothes to you vividly, and my wife can try them on herself immediately, which is very vivid for you to see. And they have a keen eye, and the goods they choose are particularly popular.

When they sell well, my husband likes to beat himself with a dozen "red bulls" and say, "This is what we sold today. How much do you sell today? "

It is conceivable that how much sales volume is needed to have this kind of undisguised joy?

Xiaohai appreciates their dazzling achievements. If you have the same sales ability as them, you have the same capital as them.

Together, it's like "two swords in one, invincible."

These two couples each have peerless martial arts. Like Jin Yong's "The Condor Heroes", they like to fight alone and don't like team fighting, but they must walk together, because their stalls always explode at any time, and any combination can't compare with the tacit understanding between husband and wife.

We also have Guo Jing and Huang Rong.

Guo Jing is a classic figure who can lead the heroes in Wulin, and has a personality charm that infects people around him. When it comes to Guo Jing, there must be Huang Rong.

Yukiko Iwai, whom I met in The Little Sea, is a couple who can match these two roles, namely "All rivers run into the sea" and "Nong Guifeng".

When you have visited all the booths, you will definitely visit their booths. They attract not only goods, but also the entertainment of the boss.

They will have many ways to attract guests' attention. The booth will not only be crowded, but also the guests will be amused by the boss.

During the break, the couple prefer a cocktail party with talking and laughing. Do they feel like Mr. and Mrs. Guo Jing, the protagonists in Jin Yong's novels?

? When a person's thinking ability reaches a certain level, even a joke that makes you happy will reveal his philosophy of life.

This is why we can have a group of best friends and sisters and make friends with them.

Guo Jing and Huang Rong are used to describe lovers, aren't they vivid?

Like Guo Jing and Huang Rong, they are unpretentious, lofty and ambitious, and they are convinced by righteousness.

Whether you are a newcomer or a veteran, you are the same in their eyes.

No matter rich or poor, all people are treated equally.

Jackie Chan is more like an elder in the world.

A friend once joked: "If you want to know your weight in the Jianghu, it depends on Jackie Chan's willingness to help you set up a position!"

Although it's a joke, it makes sense. Jackie Chan is like an elder in martial arts. If you don't have some real talents, how can a capable elder treat you with special respect, just like Hong Qigong, Zhou and Yi Deng written by Jin Yong?

In Jin Yong's novels, if Guo Jing and Yang Guo have no weight, how can they get the help of respected predecessors?

When Xiao Hai first met Jackie Chan, he happened to sell soymilk machines in Shuangmangjing. His introduction, like a gentleman, is quite unique, that is, gentle and approachable, and there is no smell of "wandering in the rivers and lakes". His writing style makes people feel that his "culture" is stronger than most Jianghu people.

? Many stall owners suspect that Jackie Chan is a speculative stall because there are many places to set it up, but many old stall owners know that Jackie Chan is just helping his good friends set up places.

Because he usually only stands in the morning and basically rests in the afternoon, he has time to help his friends, and he is a senior who is willing to help his friends.

? In Jianghu, every valuable person deserves respect, such as Jackie Chan.

How many people did he help? What is the capacity of his mobile phone? How many groups? How many connections are there? If someone can find the answers, he will realize the value of Jackie Chan, and only he knows the answers to these questions.

Once a friend at a booth said Jackie Chan's position was a lie. Call and ask for the location. He said he rented it, or he wouldn't answer the phone.

Xiaohai once tried to put the gunman's position in the peak season, and it was really a second lease. This phone will not be yours in the future.

? There may be street stall friends wondering, "Is it that fast?" .

? "Not too fast, it depends on how many places there are?"

? Jackie Chan has many bearing sets.

? Xiaohai guess: If you call Jackie Chan as soon as you see him, he may not answer the phone because he didn't forward all the groups. If he tells you that the location is rented, it is really rented. Everyone is a tramp, and there is really no time to make up a fake place to deceive people.

A generation of chivalrous women who keep pace with Lin Chaoying? "Brother Liu Qin"

As the saying goes, heroes are easy to do, but chivalrous women are hard to do.

Even in today's society where women are not allowed to have men, every woman has a chivalrous heart. But there are really few people who can become a generation of chivalrous women.

Xiao Hai thinks that "Brother Qin" can be used as the name of "a generation of chivalrous women" in the Jianghu, and her words, deeds and image can fully endorse this word.

Because in the project of "selling kitchen knives", men are generally capable, but this woman named "Qin Ge" has mastered it more flexibly, adding the strongest Jianghu color to the stalls in the whole street.

Xiaohai once argued with his street stall friends about whether Brother Qin was a man or a woman. Because Xiao Hai has seen Qin's brother, he categorically said that Qin's brother is a woman, but his friends still think Xiao Hai must have seen Qin's brother's sister, because in everyone's impression, "kitchen knives" can only be sold by men.

Xiaohai loves to watch "Brother Qin" selling kitchen knives and sees a vivid one.

Lin Chaoying is an expert in Wulin, which makes the heroes in Wulin highly respected. They all call Lin Chaoying "Lin Daiyu". She is an excellent master above beggars in Emperor Wu of Soochow.

Therefore, when Xiaohai saw the Qin brothers selling kitchen knives, he really had an impulse to learn from his teacher. However, the "kitchen knife" project is too difficult to control, and ordinary women can challenge it. He can only watch it with admiration.

The legend of Xifeng in Dong Fangbubai is more than just a legend.

? "Sister Feng"

Without Xiao Haiduo's introduction, the vast majority of street stall friends would not be unaware of Feng, a famous figure in the Jianghu, and a legend like him.

Dong Fangbubai has his left and right protectors in "Sun Moon Shinto", and Xifeng also has her employees and relatives of Zuo Qinglong and You Baihu fighting side by side with her.

In Dong Fangbubai, there is a sunflower collection that beats her opponent. Xifeng will dominate all the stalls and employees outside to operate step by step just like using the sunflower collection.

Tell me, booth friends, do they use the same martial arts cheats?

Everyone's curiosity about Feng Jie, just like the magic teaching runs through all Jin Yong's novels, every street vendor friend will mention Feng Jie more or less. Some praised Xifeng, some were idolized like younger brothers and sisters, and some were completely demonized and misunderstood.

Fans who love each other also hope that one day they can take Xifeng as their goal, just like Xifeng.

The misunderstanding of demonization is because some people misunderstand that Xifeng makes money by speculating on stalls.

? The word "fried stall" is like a curse in the Jianghu, and whoever wears it has a headache.

Because Xifeng has a large amount of stalls every day, in order to stabilize the daily stalls, it is necessary to gather a lot of stalls. If there are extra positions, there will be more positions. If employees suddenly get together to have a rest, there will be more places.

If you don't know the actual situation, you will have misunderstandings. As long as there are multiple locations, there is suspicion of speculation.

Xifeng is often misunderstood and makes her laugh and cry. At first, she patiently explained, then she became numb and turned into a direct humorous reply.

In fact, friends who really know Xifeng will understand her. She is too busy to go to bed on time every day. She sells so many goods every day, and the sales volume is so large. How can she consider these trivial things? It is better to think more about how to distribute goods every day.

However, the legend of Xifeng is more than a legend. Everyone who can succeed in the street stall is built with his body.

Once Xiaohai delivered goods to six groups at 1: 00 in the middle of the night. Who knows that the cabinet is locked, and the location is Xifeng's. Xiaohai can only harass her in the middle of the night.

Feng asked the people around her before she knew that her sister had a key. It was already one or two in the middle of the night when I knew where the key was. Her sister lives too far away from here, so it's not practical to run over and get it. There is no expert to unlock it now. Xifeng also asked Xiaohai there, "What should I do?" What should I do? "

Xiaohai was so tired that he ran to the cupboard and lay down and said, "What else can I do? Sleep here for one night ~ "

Because people's voice changed when they were lying down, Xifeng asked, "Sister, what's wrong with you?"

"I'm so sleepy, I lie on the cupboard and sleep."

"When I was pregnant with my son, I also spent the night in the cupboard, where you are sleeping now."

"I am still young. I'm just worried about my mother. I must stay with me all night. Haven't you finished the goods? "

? "Almost."

? "Then I won't bother you. You should hurry up and go to bed early. If we are bitten into lychee bags by mosquitoes, we will ask you for medicine. " Xiao Hai jokingly comforted Feng and hung up the phone.

? On that day, Xiaohai couldn't sleep well. They just set up a stall at five in the morning. After noon, mother and daughter take turns to catch up on sleep. Fortunately, many things happen and they sell for more than 3800 a day. Xiaohai's position is generally around 2000, and it has never broken 3000. After selling so much, he didn't stay up all night in vain.

As can be seen from the above, in the early days of her business, Xifeng also made it. Even though she was pregnant, she ran outside.

Although she is well now and her business is getting better and better, everyone only sees her glamorous appearance, the hard work behind her and the physical wear and tear, and only people around her know it.

Success is never accidental, and it is only possible to succeed through hard work day and night.

The famous cousin and Qiao Feng have exactly the same actual combat ability.

? There is an article "The factory director is my watch pot, and the strongest shoe seller is an online celebrity: I am not afraid of ridicule, but just want to make my family live better", which introduces my cousin's entrepreneurial experience and says that he has a dream, that is, to own a large leather shoes shop and be a street vendor, Ma Yun.

? Xiao Hai wants to say that my cousin is more like Qiao Feng written by Jin Yong.

In fact, Xiao Hai doesn't really know his cousin, only the one in the video. Can I search directly on the Internet? "The factory director is my cousin". He is the biggest online celebrity in the Jianghu.

His classic sentence: "Don't ask me why, the factory director is my cousin" has brainwashed the whole vendor and spread all over the vendor world.

His propaganda video "Don't ask me why, the factory director is my cousin" was made into a ghost film and posted on the Internet, which quickly became popular on major websites. This video should be seen by many people. A middle-aged man with glasses and a suit is selling his leather shoes on the counter, but in a very special way. He banged on the shovel with his belt and leather shoes, which proved that his goods were of good quality. He is Zeng Guisheng, a native of Guiping, Guangxi, and is called "the strongest shoe seller".

He is strong, fierce, generous and determined. In the whole Jianghu, his actual combat ability and communication speed have reached the peak, which is unparalleled at present. He can be called the king of actual combat in Jianghu, with outstanding personality, just like Qiao Feng in Wulin.

Qiao Feng, full of lofty sentiments and blood, is the most respected leader in the world, known as "South Murong, North Qiao Feng".

? Among Jin Yong's heroes, Qiao Feng is the best boss and the leader who leads everyone to start a career.

? So Xiao Hai said that my cousin is more like Qiao Feng.

My cousin's team has also recruited many talents, such as the all-around 108 hero, who is proficient in all kinds of martial arts and spreads all over the major markets every day, continuing the spread of "the factory director is my cousin" and creating his own wealth. .

? He is not afraid of being laughed at. Don't forget your initiative. He just wants to make things better for his family. I have interpreted all the inner monologues in everyone's hearts, which are full of positive energy.

Now is the information age, and "the fragrance of wine is not afraid of the depth of the alley" is no longer applicable. Only when you can come up with unique marketing ideas can wealth be closer to you.

Tang Hong, like Chu Liuxiang, is awesome in all directions.

Handsome? Why handsome? The leader of a million heroes is very handsome.

Xiang Shuai Chu Liuxiang is a legendary figure close to myth in Gu Long's works, and deserves to be the first person in Wulin. He is elegant, calm and explosive. There is a person in our Jianghu who is most similar to Chu Liuxiang, and he is Tang Hong.

Most newcomers don't know Tang Hong, but for the old vendors, everyone knows Tang Hong. He is wise, bold and ambitious, which makes most powerful people in the Jianghu fall behind.

Because Chu Liuxiang's image of "fragrant handsome" and "stealing handsome" is so successful, it has become a brand deeply rooted in people's hearts, and it is a representative word of wisdom and calmness. Later generations commented: "A beautiful man who steals at night leaves a fragrance, and his reputation is shocking everywhere!"

Xiaohai is also a newcomer in the Jianghu. He didn't know Tang Hong, but by chance, he met a powerful man in Tang Hong from other provinces.

He said that Tang Hong's success and glory in those years cannot be ignored by other provinces, and we need to learn from him.

Listening to two people who are as capable as they are, we who are in the audience have benefited a lot.

Tang Hong, resourceful and observant, can be regarded as a street vendor in our city. He is an eloquent textbook figure, more like a noble knight in The Vendor. He is more knowledgeable than those who are capable. He is really different from those of us who hang out in the booth every day. He has a long-term vision and unique vision, and has a deeper and broader understanding of everything than others. He is a man who can carry out a hundred steps in one step.

If someone asks me, who can I learn the most with?

According to the people I know in Xiaohai, it must be Tang Hong. Is there any chance to learn from him? How much can I learn? Depending on their respective abilities, this is a matter of different opinions.

Manager Wang? For example, in "Demonbane", when a person failed to find himself and shook the streets, he said: There is someone outside, and there is a day behind!

Loneliness is defeat. The so-called "Demonbane" is straightforward, aloof and unwilling to be restrained. It suddenly comes out and suddenly hides.

He is on the stone wall of the sword tomb, in front of its tomb, engraved with:

For more than 30 years, I have killed all the enemies and defeated all the heroes. The world is even more helpless, but I live in seclusion in the deep valley and take carving as my friend. Oh! It is lonely and embarrassing for a group of heroes to abandon their swords for nothing, but to find an opponent all their lives.

? This information has fully revealed his peerless master, who is proud of the world and stands out from the crowd. The thoughts and artistic conception of martial arts and life have also crossed time and space. Inspired by their wisdom and endless benefits, Wulin people realize that Wushu is not about obeying rules, but being flexible.

? Xiaohai met a master from other provinces because of business needs. He started his business all over the country like a lonely loser. He came to Xiaohai to inspect the market. In just a few days, every market he went to was a promotional activity that shook the whole market, and Jianghu people would be overwhelmed by him no matter how powerful they were.

? People who have seen his live promotion admire him. Like seeking defeat alone, his attainments and research on martial arts have reached the peak.

? Among the "Top Ten Wulin Masters of Jin Yong's Novels", the first one is seeking defeat by solitude.

? His kung fu is superb, from ancient times to modern times. With wood blade, he can be invincible. Flying flowers and picking leaves can hurt people, and he can achieve the goal of winning without a sword, winning without a move, and combining man and sword!

? Among the people Xiao Hai knows, only Mr. Wang Can can be called a "failed loner". The difference is that Mr. Wang is not alone. Like Guo Jing, he has a fairy companion like Huang Rong.

? And Mr.wong is very modest, he said:

According to the national ranking, he can't rank at all. In this city, it can stand out because all the talents, resources and markets in this city have not been integrated and developed. This is a city where everything is possible. But remember: people should never be self-righteous, and know that "there are people outside"!

The clerk finally read all the contents,

She said to her boss, "I didn't expect her to talk so much about wine."

"Shh ~" The boss motioned the clerk to speak in a low voice. He is absorbed in recording Xiao Hai's drunken remarks.

……

Xiaohai was so drunk that his mouth was full of intermittent drunken words. ...

"Sister Xing, I also want to be the next man of the hour ... I also want Jackie Chan to help me set my position, but my weight is not enough!"

……

"Xiaohai, you are still so worthless!"

……

"Do you have ambitions? ..... You also say, what kind of man do you want to be? "

……

"I, ... don't be a man of the hour, ... don't do this, ... I just want to be nirvana in the fire."

……

Nirvana in Fire? ..... Isn't it Mei Su Chang who helped Xiao Jingyan pacify the world? ... still the same, still the man of the hour! "

……

"no! ... neither! ..... No ... No ... "

……

Xiaohai was drunk and fell asleep slowly. ...

The clerk and boss of the pub looked at Xiao Hai who had fallen asleep.

The clerk first asked, "Who is Sister Xing? Who is Xiaohai? "

The boss said: "Her name is Xiaohai, WeChat is called' Lucky Star', and some people call her Sister Xing."

The clerk said, "One person plays two roles! Drink enough. "

The boss sighed with emotion: "Maybe her friends don't understand her thoughts, so they can only talk to themselves and get drunk."

The clerk asked, "boss, don't you understand?" Asked the clerk,

The boss replied, "I am the owner of this pub, not her friend."

"Boss, you don't look like a pub owner ... you look more like a thief who eavesdrops on other people's drunken remarks." After teasing the boss, the clerk ran away.

The boss didn't listen to the clerk. He just took out his mobile phone and dialed the phone and said, "Aunt, Xiaohai is drunk again. I'll send a car to take her back. Please meet her at the door. "

He said a few polite words to comfort the old man on the phone and hung up.

At this time of the small just said 1 talk in a dream:

"I want to be a supporting role now, so can I be a supporting role?"

……

? The wind at night, blowing a little cooler than before, an old mother looked at the road in front of the door, the road was illuminated by soft and bright moonlight, and the old mother was anxiously waiting for her daughter. ...

(End of the whole article)

Next notice:

? The bar owner is calling: "Manager Jiang, we should start the evaluation process."

? Manager Jiang asked on the other end of the phone, "What can I do for you? What did you find? "

? The pub owner replied, "She said she wanted to be a supporting role, and I'll report back to you when she wakes up and asks clearly."

"good! Waiting for your good news! "

After the tavern owner called, he asked the clerk to make himself a pot of tea, took out a pile of A4 paper and wrote on it:

Nirvana in Fire "..."

Nirvana in a roll of wind and cloud fire, capsules make the world wonderful!

After the lucky star wakes up, she can continue to write the next article in detail! )