A wonderful cold joke

There was a fire at home, so I escaped and suddenly thought that my wife was still inside. ? Get out of my way. Let me in. Let me in. ? The fireman told me. Did you poke your smile? The following is a collection of wonderful cold jokes I prepared. Let's laugh together!

Collection of Wonderful Cold Jokes (1) 1: One day, in my husband's arms, he suddenly looked at my lips and teeth and said, "What a nice mouth!"

Me: .............

2. I was accidentally discovered by my husband, afraid of being bitten on the ass. He chased me every day to bite.

Husband: Wife, just come with me! My mouth is full of oil when I bite it!

Me: ...............

Yesterday, my husband looked at my lips and teeth again.

I said grumpily, nice mouth, right?

Husband: For the age of an ox, you are old!

Me: ............

Husband added: But! The tortoise is still young for its age. A thousand-year-old turtle!

Me: ............ is completely crazy. .....

My friend's mother was hospitalized and had an operation. Tell me 15 years ago, my aunt had an operation in the same hospital. When I was in the operating room for six hours, my uncle almost collapsed.

I silently told my husband this history and asked: Husband, if I am sick and hospitalized, you should be very nervous, right? Will it be so urgent that the whole person will collapse over there?

Husband: Cut! ! I'm in no hurry! I'll call Li Xing and set up a small table in front of the operating room to make wine. ..

Me: ....

Husband: Yes! If I am paralyzed and faint, the doctor will inform me to pay for a hospital change. Who would do these things? At that time, I had paid the money, but I was paralyzed. The doctor said, no money, no surgery. They both died there!

Me: ..........

5. Every time I go out by car with my husband and get off the bus, my husband will definitely say a word: wife! Check, you didn't lose your mobile phone wallet and chastity, did you?

6. One day, my husband worked all day. He is all dirty. I was afraid he wouldn't be clean, so I helped him take a bath.

Naked, he sat on the bathroom floor and asked me to wipe my back. Eyes wide open, lovely to say: happiness is that cats eat fish and dogs eat meat, Altman hits little monsters ... ah no! Wu Yaoyao hit the little monster ... (My screen name is poison. My friends call me Yao Yao.

7: Go to the fishing village for a barbecue with forum users. I'm thirsty. I saw a pot of tea, but I didn't find a cup. Nobody drank it anyway, so I drank it at the spout. When I saw it, I laughed and shouted, medicine, you are so generous!

Husband: Fei MM, be a girl and pay attention to your image. How can you shout so cool in public?

Grey fly: ..........

I snickered to myself ... Hey, my husband still loves me.

Collection of wonderful cold jokes (2) 1. The wife looked enviously out of the window, and a man and a woman were sitting on the grass chatting affectionately. The wife said to her husband:? Look, honey, how nice that young man is. He is considerate to girls, just like we were. ?

Husband still looks down at the newspaper: Oh, really? It seems that the young man hasn't fooled the girl yet. ?

2. A young couple just got married. The wife complained to her husband: Mom and dad are too anxious. Your mother mentioned that the baby was born again yesterday, saying that she wanted to have grandchildren early. ?

The husband said: mom is a little anxious about this, but dad never says much.

My wife pursed her lips and said that my father didn't say anything, but he held a copy of Sun Tzu's Art of War in front of me all day. ?

3, my husband always has excessive behavior when watching the ball game, and my wife specially made a 10 red card:? Show me one if you shout too loudly, two if you break something at home, and two if you drink too much beer.

After listening, the husband promised: Please exercise your judicial power. ?

The next morning, my wife found more red cards under the pillow.

Husband explained:? I don't think your 10 is enough, and you rushed 20 at halftime. ?

At ten o'clock in the evening, the mother said to her son. Your father has gone for a drink, so you can meet him downstairs. ?

The son who is playing a game says:? He doesn't have to answer every day. Why should he answer today? ?

Mom:? Didn't you see that tree downstairs was sawed off by the Bureau of Landscape Architecture today?

A wonderful collection of cold jokes (3) 1. The wives of rich families often boast in front of their husbands that they have brought such and such things, which makes them very angry.

One night, when the wife heard something outside, she woke her husband up and said, Go and see if there is a thief coming! ?

The husband said, What does that have to do with me? You brought everything! ?

On one occasion, the husband was preparing meals for his wife. The clumsy husband accidentally broke a bowl. He said shyly. I didn't expect an earthquake! ?

As he spoke, the husband picked up another bowl, but the bowl fell to the ground again. This time, the husband blushed and muttered: How can there be aftershocks! ?

The wife always blames her husband for drinking. One day, the husband couldn't bear it, and retorted, You always blame me for drinking. But when I sold an empty bottle to buy you a pearl necklace, why didn't you say a word?

The surgeon and his wife walked into the street together, and a beautiful young blonde greeted him.

The wife took a sour look and then asked her husband: Where did you meet such a woman?

The doctor explained:? We only met because of our work. ?

Madam:? Is it your occupation or her occupation?

5, my husband said that braised yellow croaker is delicious, with good color, fresh taste and style; My wife says pickled yellow croaker is delicious and affordable. The two quarreled fiercely, then scolded each other, and finally scuffled with the Civil Affairs Bureau for divorce.

The mediation committee decided that both parties would not divorce without proper reasons. Yellow croaker cut in half. Men eat braised fish and women eat pickled fish. Now go home and do it.

After hearing the verdict, the couple muttered: I haven't bought fish yet. ?

6、? My husband is too stupid to drink or gamble. ?

? Then you are lucky to find a model husband! ?

? But he can't drink but insists on drinking, and he can't gamble but insists on gambling. ?

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