2020 is super funny.

1. If I can't die in her heart, let her die in my hands. 2, don't try to teach pigs to sing, not only there is no result but also make pigs unhappy!

Youth, you left without telling me.

4. Toad jumps off a cliff, but you are still Batman.

The real person is not bored, but the disguised person must be bored.

6. The bell in class is more pleasant than the national anthem, and the bell in class is more collapsed than embarrassment.

7, the confession of the police uncle: I have been paying attention to you for a long time, please come with me!

8. Do you feel that walking is like QQ login?

9. Outside the Qingshan Building outside the mountain, you and San Xiao are going to jump off the building, and I'll shout for gas downstairs.

10, I'm not your father. I can't give you the fairy tale you want.

1 1. We agreed to take me to see the snow this winter, but you left me here this winter.

12, I will look at Hawick Lau's photos on Baidu every day, just because he looks too much like you.

13, sometimes there are some things, not knowing is happier than knowing.

14, your mother chased me for ten blocks and insisted that I looked like your father.

15, from primary school to university, the only constant is a heart that doesn't want to learn.

16, were you thrown three times and only caught twice when you were born?

17, after pulling the black two, my appetite became better, my body became stronger, and I finally stopped being careless.

18, don't always embarrass others, you are not afraid of retribution if you go too far.

19, a man has some money in his pocket and will not be idle from the waist down.

20. I woke up in the morning thinking that I had grown taller overnight, only to find that the quilt was covered horizontally.

2 1, fish farming-I always forget to change the water once a week, so I have to change the fish once a week.

22. Every time the mosquito-repellent incense is removed, Nima is like a bomb. Who the hell designed this?

23, there is no reason to struggle for life, even if running in the wind and rain, but also let yourself smile!

24. I want to fall in love for the next generation.

25. liking the new and hating the old is not a disease. People who constantly forgive are sick.

26. If my life is a TV series, then you are an advertisement that has been killed halfway.

27. Why do jokes get cold when they come out of my mouth?

28. You have a good physique. I can see at a glance that you must live to death.

29. God, please give me an argument. Scold the lover who can't run away!

30. When I can't find the long and short sides of the quilt, I feel that the whole person is making Indian cakes.

3 1, there is nothing sad, it must be that you don't study and don't want to study too much.

The word love is too pale to describe my feelings. I love you, I like you, I don't want you!

33.hey! Girl, stop staring at my man, or I'm afraid I can't help gouging out your eyes. Although I don't like the smell of blood.

When I throw a bone at the dog, it knows to wag its tail at me. What are you?

35. I have WiFi, you can chase me.

Your name will appear in my household registration book one day.

37, some things are only suitable for collection, can say, can't think, but can't forget.

38. I'm fine now, at least I'm sure I'm alone and don't have to think about anyone.

39. Just say hello when you meet, and then run home and dance for half an hour.

40. Sometimes I shouldn't challenge my patience, because I am a hothead.

4 1, life advice: When I ignore you, you can try to send a red envelope.

42. Why do people always tell me not to give up treatment, as if I can still be saved?

43. Please roll into a ball and leave smoothly.

44. I drew a coffin in which you and she were lying. It's very kind of me to let you die together.

45. I'll tell you again with my personal experience that you can't touch your mobile phone when you do your homework, otherwise it will be like eating dazzle!

46. Decisiveness is wearing a temperament white shirt with a flat chest.

47. I always fall where I fall. I suspect there is a pit there.

48. A good figure will be presumptuous, and weight gain will be restrained.

49. If one day, you find yourself as smart as a dog, you will become a fairy.

Thinking of what happened when I was a child, I feel really naive.

5 1, school is a good place for dating, and everyone is showing off in couples' clothes.

52, smile, but hurt yourself.

53. Starting school is a new beginning, and I don't want to disappoint anyone.

54. Many things don't need to be raised, but they obey on the surface and resist secretly.

55. Sometimes, my feelings deceive me.

56. If you can't pee in the pool, it's short; if you pee outside the pool, it's soft.

57. If you are the one, if the female guest turns off the man's light again, the aunt downstairs in the dormitory can turn off the whole floor.

58. I crossed the mountains and seas, but I couldn't get past the crowd in the canteen.

59. Call me daughter-in-law now. If you dare to betray me in the future, I will let you call me sister-in-law.

After I took a bowl full of money from the beggar that day, I actually cured him of his disability for many years.

6 1. You waste air alive, land dead and RMB at home.

62. Edison went shopping with a couple. When he came home, he invented the light bulb.

63. A toad that doesn't want to eat swan meat is not a good toad, but a toad that eats swan meat is still a toad.

64. People who have no partners are always hurt mercilessly on Tanabata.

65. I had a rest yesterday. Let bygones be bygones I'm only a teenager. I can't be so tired.

66. People rely on clothes, horses rely on saddles, and dogs run happily with bells.

67.do you like me? You don't like me. I'm trying to solve some things.

68. Don't worry about my sense of security. You think I am a special antivirus software.

69. My computer and I have the same language. When I am gentle with it, it will collapse. Makes me extremely excited.

70. Chairman Mao said: To fall in love without getting married is to be a hooligan.

7 1, the height of this thing is more than one meter. What's the comparison?

72. I will not go to school. My first dream is to sell spicy strips in America!

73. You are my Youlemei. Have another drink after drinking.

74. I am me, fireworks of different colors, and he is his big flower with two yuan a bunch.

75. Men have gold under their knees. I cut off my whole leg and didn't even find a copper coin!

76. This year's Tomb-Sweeping Day falls on the same day as Easter.

77. Sometimes I don't whisper, just to give you a chance to see my handsome face more.

78. Actually, what are you? You are just a barking dog.

79. When can you find my love and look forward to that love?

The furthest distance in the world is that you have something stuck between your teeth, and your tongue knows where it is, but your hand doesn't know where it is.

8 1. Your mother must have been anxious, absent-minded and so hasty when she gave birth to you.

82. The tragedy of life is that we grow old too fast, but we are too late to understand.

83. I watched too many movies and turned on the gas for fear of blowing myself up.

84. The three sentences that moved me most: I bring you delicious food, I invite you to eat delicious food, and I take you to eat delicious food!

85. Now you are worried about sunrise in the east and rain in the west. The road is sunny, but the sun is shining.

You should find someone who can make you laugh, not someone who makes you cry like me.

87. The biggest difference between doing and not doing is that the latter has the right to refute the former.

Let's drink to the past and never look back.

89. We are all good students. We don't love each other or elope. We will accompany you on the trumpet. My name is Zeng. I'm in Class 1, Grade 2.

90. Dare to stand under a telephone pole in rainy days? Be careful, ray. PS, you

9 1. I always try to explain our story.

92. You eat my chicken and I eat your tofu.

93. The little sunflower mother started work, and the child's cough has been bad, and most of them have been abandoned.

94. It's better to play the lute to a cow than to a sheep, because he won't have a cow temper.

95. You can't please everyone, because not everyone is human!

Please tell me if I don't do well. I won't change anyway, so don't get sick.

97. You are the wind, I am the sand, lingering into a sandstorm.

98. The most hanging reason for breaking up in the world: Sorry, I have appendicitis!

99. Rock, paper, scissors, if you lose, it's mine; if you win, it's mine.

100, some songs are deeply rooted in people's hearts. Sometimes I don't know whether I'm listening to music or myself.

10 1, my youth is the words on my desk.

102. The world is really chaotic now. Do it if you don't accept it. If you are poor, you have to eat.

103, three wishes in life: one is to eat, the other is to sleep, and the third is to laugh.

104, telling lies with real names in reality, and telling the truth with pseudonyms in the network.

105, stars are just like dried tofu, they are all fried.

106, a person's greatest bankruptcy is despair, and his greatest asset is hope.

108, bitch is always a bitch, even if the economic crisis, you can't be expensive!

109, he said. I can't wash clothes. Can't cook. Can't buy food. Can't take care of themselves. No feelings. Only buddhist nun suits me best.

1 10, youth is not just an encounter, maybe it is just missed.

2020 super funny mood phrases

20xx latest super funny mood phrases

1. When my period comes, I have the urge to donate blood!

Losing weight is really not that easy. Every piece of meat has its temper.

It's time to buy a plane ticket to heaven and have a good talk with Yue Lao.

I am a man, and I am better than those women who pretend to be innocent.

I learned to drink to drown my loneliness and sadness. Unexpectedly, they learned to swim.

6. I watched the advertisement carefully and suddenly a TV series popped up! Damn it!

7. Mom told me: If your father bullies you, let your grandparents take him away.

8. The medicine is too noisy, and the pancake fruit is the same. I said pancakes, you said yes.

9. I am confident, because confidence is free.

10. If men are not allowed to smoke, it means that women are not allowed to wear bras.

1 1. You won't know until you pay for your mobile phone. So my words are so valuable.

12. The furthest distance in the world,

13. Today is Monday to Friday.

14. A friend of mine said, second, it stands for cuteness.

15. When love comes to an end, farting can be a reason to break up.

16. A person's unforgettable memory has long been forgotten by others.

17. I really don't want to despise you with my toes. But you made me do it.

18. In this world, sincerity is scarce and should be frugal.

19. Tell my friend that I want to fart, and my friend says, hold it and burp.

After an English listening class, the only thing you can understand is the first few words of Chinese.

2 1. I know twisted melon is not sweet, but I just don't like melon.

A super interesting conversation, a super interesting joke.

1. When I don't want to talk to you, it's no use trying to coax me. At this time, you should give me a red envelope.

You are only twenty years old, so it's normal that you haven't met the person you like. The later you find out, it's probably impossible to meet.

3. Every unscrupulous night will eventually be repaid with a morning when I can't get out of bed.

4. I ate 8 yuan breakfast at the roadside stall, and my boss was very busy, so I put the money in his basket, thinking that the boss might not have seen it. I took out the money again, and then the boss saw it.

5. Seeing the rich and the poor from sleep: I went to bed, I went back to my room to sleep, and I went upstairs to sleep.

6. If a person is used to madness, he is like a mental derangement when he is serious. Super funny joke.

7. I can treat you to thousands of meals and accompany you to drink tens of thousands of wine, but you have to pay me back what you owe me 100.

8. What if my girlfriend is angry and unreasonable? Drop a cup on the floor and see if you can stop her. If you do, it's over. If you don't stop, kneel on the glass slag and finish it.

I have no ambition, so I just want to spend your money, sleep in your bed and be your wife.

10. Go after him if he likes, whether he has a boyfriend or not. The team had a goalkeeper, so the goal was scored.

1 1. Actually, I used to have eight abdominal muscles, but I became fascinated when I practiced the ninth one.

12. I had a big health care with my customers in the evening and smelled some women's perfume. Afraid of going home to make my daughter-in-law angry, I stayed in the hot pot restaurant downstairs for a long time before going home. I didn't expect her to be more angry than before. She said angrily, you have gone too far. You didn't call me when you were eating hot pot!

13. I think boys are really dirty because I have never seen boys take a bath.

14. If you want to be beautiful, sleep more. If you are sleepy, you will feel beautiful.

15. Someone just called me shameless. My backhand is a slap. Would I want such a beautiful face?

16. After many years of marriage, my husband suddenly turned and hugged his wife in the middle of the night and said: This life is too short. The wife was moved to tears after listening to her husband's words. My husband went on to say: I can't even cover my feet.

17. Buy a globe. The world is so big that you can not only have a look, but also look around.

18. I have always been tolerant of people who are not smart.

19. Little girl, you are still young. You can find someone else. Give your date to your aunt.

20. I gradually understand that the more ordinary-looking girls are, the more amiable they are. And those beautiful girls ignored me at all.

2 1. I envy those beloved small public deeds. It happened that I was born a demon with a knife.

22. Kong Rong said: Uncle, I am a child, so I want to eat small pears! Uncle said: You stay away from my fruit stand.

23. There is no swearing in this world. If you do more homework, you will.

24. I like you, you eat shit, I think you are awesome; I don't like you, even eating shit thinks you are awesome. Anyway, as long as you eat shit, I think you are awesome

Tell me more super funny things.

Super funny space: others' stomachs are called stomachs, and mine are called stomachs.

Super Funny QQ said: If Shuai Neng is a meal, then I can feed the world 2020 Super Funny Classic Quotations.

I have the ability to pick up girls, but I am a girl. . .

My brother suddenly pointed to a pig on TV and said to me, "Hey! Isn't this you! " I habitually shouted: "It's your sister!" Then I regretted it!

Some people are simply a four, except for 22, minus 22, which is really two plus two, minus 12 plus 12, and it is twice as much as two.

What is persistence? Just one day, one more day, you tell yourself, one more day.

. Why is there a moon on Bao Qingtian's forehead? Bao Zheng: I didn't know I was dark during the day.

You can't rely on anything these days, you can only rely on yourself. Abbreviation: Holy shit!

People who have always been dissatisfied with hairstyles have one thing in common: refusing to admit it is a matter of face. . .

I always feel that the bed, too neatly laid, will be a little bit of an old age. Well, it's still messy and energetic.

"Is my face oily?" "Reflecting light, I can't see clearly."

Uplink: telephone charges, tolls, broadband fees and fees to be paid; Downstream: meal card, water card, bus card, Kaka, etc. Horizontal approval: breaking the money at the beginning of school.

Never quarrel with your parents, because you will only be scolded if you win, and you will only be beaten if you win.

Suddenly I feel that Pleasant Goat is very similar to Journey to the West. Catch every episode, and then definitely don't eat it.

The standard of otaku and otaku: take the computer as the center and the arm length as the radius, and take things in bed. ...

Years later, if you get married, if I don't get married. Tell your daughter to be careful on the way to school. . . .

Some girls are the same as the house price. Only when you look back, do you know that it was wrong not to start.

I was forced to go on a blind date, and the other party was a drag on learning English. As soon as he arrived, he said that he was CET-8, Japanese-1 and German-2. Ask me what level? I told him QQ30, yellow diamond 7, red diamond 4, colored diamond 4 and green diamond 3. Blind date is also a pleasure in life. . .

A: "I have a crush on a girl." B: "I have a crush!" A: "What a good method." B: "Secret love is the most economical of all relationships."

Do you know why February 14 is Valentine's Day? I hope two lovers get along sweetly. 1 The baby is happy, the four elders are healthy and live a long life, and the third one is not allowed to interfere.

Today, classmate A borrowed money from classmate B. . Do you have money with you? B: Yes. Lend me some. What did you just say? Lend me some. B: no, the previous sentence. Do you have money with you? B: No! ! ! “TMD”

The mother taught her daughter: "Choosing a spouse is a lifelong event, and you should pay more attention." . Look at your dad. He can handle anything. He repaired the faucet of the car electric appliance by himself. Even if the wardrobe is broken, he can fix it himself ... My daughter interrupted me and said, "I see." "Understand your sister, if you also find a husband like your father, you will never want to use new things in my life! "

It is said that if you play Weibo for a long time, you will talk like this. "Honey, there is wood in the pit." "Your sister!" "Dear, rotten women don't give strength!" "The cat has a microphone, go to shit!" "Honey, you are too tolerant." "You are so dizzy, you cheat paper!" "Honey, being old and wet is lewd." "I depend!" "Honey, what's that swelling?" "The otaku and the otaku can't afford to get hurt ..." "Honey, you know!" "Nima is envious and jealous." "Honey, you are laughing at me!"

What's your annual salary? B: Eight million. A: There were 800,000 that month. Yes, this is the basic salary. A: Not bad. What do you do? B: Dreaming.

Valentine's day is coming, remind everyone: send some flowers and plants foolishly; Running around with frivolous leaders; Vulgar enough to eat and drink; Boring dance; Boldly cuddle; Crazy on the spot; Timid to send a message to say hello; No, stay at home and think about it! !

The world laughed at me for being crazy, and I laughed at the world for seeing it so quickly.

What is a famous brand? If you add a zero to the cost price, it's called a famous brand. Cost plus two zeros is called luxury. How many zeros can be added after the cost price? This is called a cultural relic!

If I pass you on the road and don't say hello to you, it's not because I pretend to be arrogant and play big cards. . Because ... . . . . . I don't have my glasses.

Perfect boyfriend: handsome, rich, generous, temperament, self-restraint, no hooking up, no drinking, no smoking, no cheating, no existence …

It is said that the tears you shed are the water in your head. . .

The most shameless person I have ever met is homework. I told you I didn't like him, and he still pestered me to fuck him. .

Feelings that are not for the purpose of marriage are all for raising a wife for others. . .

There is a crash called password input error ... there is a panic called account login in different places ... there is a feeling called invisibility ... there is a misunderstanding called offline ... and there is a loss called that you have no access rights.

Very diligent, these five words, I thought about it, I only did the first four. . .

Baidu is called Du Niang, Netease is called Yi Niang, and Sina is still debating whether to call the bride or Lang Niang! ..... Whether you are a penguin mother, a Douban maid of honor or a fake Huawei mother, remember that Taobao is your own mother! Honey!

I once swore that if I bought online again, I would cut off my hand. Now I find that I am a thousand-handed Guanyin! !

If you think that eating is my whole life, you are wrong! And ... . Sleep!

I talked to my colleagues about the house price at noon yesterday. I also said: the house price is so expensive now. If I have a piece of land, it will be really developed! He said: If you have a piece of land, I will recognize you as michel platini at once! Just after reading it, the little girl at the front desk called me: XX~ You have a courier! . . . Later, my adopted son refused to talk to me all afternoon.

Dead vines, old trees, faint crows; School, no, go home; Beating, naked test, not hanging; Just talking in my sleep. Sunset, sunset, failing students, at the end of the world. . .