Tell some funny jokes

1: One day, a mosquito and a mantis went to peek at a woman taking a bath. The mosquito said proudly: Look, I bit her twice on the chest ten years ago, and now it’s so swollen; the mantis didn’t She was convinced and said, "What's the matter? I chopped a knife between her legs ten years ago, and she still bleeds every month..." 2: In the hospital, a family was blessed with a baby boy. As soon as he was born, he spoke back. The child said: "Grandpa." Grandpa died with a cry. The child said again: "Grandma." Grandma died with a cry. The child said again: "Dad." His father said "ah" and saw that he was not dead. At this time, the child's old uncle said "ah" and died.

3: The kangaroo and the frog are having sex. The kangaroo is done with three clicks and two clicks, and the frog next door just listens to the one, two, three hey all night long! One, two, three Hey! The kangaroo was so envious. The next day, the kangaroo said: "Wow!~~Brother Frog, you are great!" The frog said: "C, I didn't jump on the bed all night!~~"

4: An elephant asked the camel: "Why is your dick on your back?" The camel said: "Stay away, I don't talk to the dick on my face!" The snake listened to the conversation between the elephant and the camel. Then there was a burst of laughter. The elephant turned to the snake and said: "Smile! You have a face with a penis, you are not qualified!"

5. There was a poor scholar who studied hard and wrote a couplet in front of his room. To encourage oneself, the first couplet is: "Sleeping in a thatched hut behind closed doors", the second couplet is: "Lying on one's feet and playing the flute", and the horizontal line is: "Being willing to follow destiny". One day, a Henan man passed by this place and became curious when he saw this couplet. He read it loudly in his hometown dialect: 'Who fucked my buttocks', 'I told him to make it hurt'... …Yo, there’s also Hengbiao! But this time he said it the wrong way: ‘We’ll do it again tomorrow! '"

6: A female kindergarten teacher led her students to swim and accidentally exposed a Y hair. A student asked the teacher, what is that? The female teacher ruthlessly pulled it out, saying it was a thread!

7: The little girl always shows off her new toys to the little boy. The little boy has no choice but to take off his pants and say, you will never have this! The girl also takes off her pants and says, my mother said that as long as I have this, that thing of yours You can have as much as you want!

8 A girl confessed her sins to the priest... Girl: Father, I am guilty. Father: My child, what sin did you commit? Girl: Yesterday, I scolded you? He said to a man: "You son of a bitch!" Priest: Why? Did he do something to you? Girl: He...he touched my genitals. Priest: You mean like this? (The priest reaches out to touch the girl’s vagina) Girl: Um...yes. Priest: If this is the case, you have no reason to scold him. Girl: But...take off my clothes again...Priest: You mean like this? (The priest takes off the girl's clothes) Girl: Yes, that's right. Priest: But you still have no reason to scold him like this. Girl: Then... he turned off the light and carried me to the bed, and then... Priest: (*smiling) Do you mean like this? (The priest also turned off the light and carried the girl to the bed... Girl: (a few minutes later) Yes... That's it. Priest: My dear child, even so, you still have no reason to scold him, "You..." Girl: But he He has AIDS!! Priest: That son of a bitch!!!

9: The driver sent the leader to attend the art party. When the leader entered the venue, the driver was stopped by the security guard. The driver said that the leader and I are in the same system. , the security guard said: Chickens and eggs are also in the same system. If the chickens go in, can the eggs go in?