Ancient and modern allegorical sayings, jokes and stories

Boil crabs in a boiling pot-see how long you can be crazy.

Crazy girl tells jokes-Xixi haha

Invite wolves to visit the poor widow's market-no need for people or money.

The mouse falls into the water tank-fashionable (wet hair) Han Xiangzi plays the flute.

Let the storm come more violently. Anyway, I sell umbrellas.

Eating melon seeds will kill bedbugs-everyone (benevolence)

A piece of meat on the cock's head-the size is an official.

It is unnecessary to water the land in rainy days.

Han Xin will be a soldier-the more the better.

Liu Bei borrowed Jingzhou-if he borrowed it, he couldn't pay it back.

Proverb:

Twisted melons are not sweet.

A thousand people have a thousand tempers, and a thousand people have a thousand looks.

To catch a dragon, you have to go into the sea, and to fight a tiger, you have to go up the mountain.

People love the rich, but dogs bite the poor.

360 lines, each line is a champion.

Never judge by appearances.

Joke:

1, a little psychologist, often meets some ridiculous things in his work. One day at noon, the office phone was constantly harassed by boring people, and everyone's anger could not be suppressed. When the phone rang for the last time, she scolded 1 wildly and hung up the phone immediately after scolding. Later, a little sister of logistics came to our office and asked us in horror, "Did your patient answer the phone just now?" "

One day, when Zheng Banqiao was the magistrate of Wei County, officials reported that the magistrate passed by Wei County, but Zheng Banqiao didn't go out to meet him. Originally, the county magistrate was born from class donation, and he bought enough money to carry a sedan chair, but he didn't have any real talent in his stomach, so Zheng Banqiao looked down on him. Magistrate adults came to the county government kitchens, Zheng Banqiao didn't go out of the city to meet, in the heart very unhappy. At the banquet, the judge became more and more angry. Just then, the official served a plate of river crabs, and the magistrate thought, "Why don't I let him improvise some poems about crabs?" If I can't do it, I'll humiliate him again in public and sulk! " So he pointed at the crab with chopsticks and said, "This thing is rampant in rivers. It is very arrogant. I have long heard that Zheng is talented. Why not sing a poem on this thing to cheer up the wine? " Zheng Banqiao knew what this meant. After a moment's meditation, he said, "Eight paws are running wildly in the fields, and two paws are dancing with dignity, but there is nothing in their bellies, so they dip in ginger vinegar and sing with wine." The county magistrate was embarrassed.

A student cheated in a CET-6 exam before going to college and was found by the invigilator. The teacher walked past him and left a sentence: I won't catch this. If the correct rate is too low, my classmates won't say it. ...

A girl in the fifth grade of primary school was laughed at by her classmates because of her breast development. She went home and cried to her mother. Her mother comforted her: "Never mind, they laugh at you for two years at most, and you can laugh at them for at least twenty years!" "