Humorous copywriting for friends

1. When I first entered high school and came to the classroom, it was the first time I met new classmates, so I wanted to be friendly. Seeing a short-haired girl who was very handsome and looked a bit like a man, Xiao Wang walked over and put his arm around her shoulders and said hello. Unexpectedly, she came up and slapped me and said: I am a woman, don’t I know the difference between men and women? Xiao Wang got angry and slapped him back: I am also a woman.

2. A friend brought her boyfriend home. The boyfriend said that she was nervous when seeing her father and didn’t know how to put her hands. My friend said that if you are nervous, just put it in your pocket. After that, the friend’s father took her out alone and asked her : "Is your boyfriend not sick?" The friend was curious and said no, so her dad said, "Then why is he putting one hand in his jacket pocket and one hand in his pants pocket?"

3. A reporter interviewed 100 penguins about what they do in a day. The first one said: eat, sleep, and play beans. The second one said: eat, sleep, and play beans. I kept asking 99 of them and the same thing happened, and when I asked the 100th one, they said: Eat and sleep. Reporter asked: Why don’t you fight Doudou? The penguin cried and said: 5555. I am Doudou.

4. His girlfriend’s mother handed Xiao Ming a check: “I’ll give you 1 million and leave my daughter.” Xiao Ming took the check and turned to his girlfriend: “Let’s break up, I don’t love you. "My girlfriend was shocked: "Don't you have hundreds of millions in assets? Why did you break up with me for 1 million?" Xiao Ming replied coldly: "How else do you think I earned hundreds of millions. "

5. At the supermarket checkout counter, the cashier said: "I'm sorry, we don't have any change. Can I use a lollipop to pay for it?" "How can I pay you for it?" So I’ll give you 9 lollipops.” “But what I bought was just one lollipop!”

6. Tang Monk and his disciples encountered six-eared macaques causing trouble. distinguish. You can only go to Tang Monk for identification. Tang Seng said: "As a teacher, I want to eat watermelon." The two monkeys immediately turned into watermelons; Tang Seng said: "As a teacher, I want to eat apples." Both monkeys immediately turned into apples; Tang Seng said: "As a teacher, I want to eat Peaches." The two monkeys immediately turned into peaches. Tang Monk said: "Bajie, get that kiwi fruit for me!"

7. I look up at you at a 45-degree angle, looking at your tall and straight figure, your majestic and motionless standing posture, It looks like Mount Tai collapsed without any chaos. What I want to say is, how can you be so calm? Telephone pole!

8. We went out for a dinner on the birthday of a colleague from the unit. About ten of us drank 5 bottles of liquor with over 50% alcohol content, and drank more than N bottles of wine. One of our senior chefs drank so much that he vomited. When we went to eat barbecue, the master didn't move a word, so we asked what was wrong, and the master said weakly, "I lost my dentures."

9. Girls nowadays are really difficult to take care of, and they act stupid when they are angry. Standing on the road, no matter how hard you coax, you can't do it. I said buy you a bouquet of flowers, but ignore me; I said take you to a movie, but ignore me; I said let's go eat delicious food, but ignore me. Later, his boyfriend came over and asked me: "Who are you?"

10. I miss you, but I can't tell you, just like a tree full of pear blossoms can never bear apples . I miss you, but I can't tell you, just like the rainbow hanging high in the sky, no one can ever touch it. I miss you, but I can't tell you, just like the train track, no ship will ever pass by. I miss you, but I really can’t tell you, because I’m afraid that if I tell you, you won’t be able to have a good time this summer, so I’ll send you a text message to tell you that I miss you!

11., is when ghosts are most active and most dangerous. "The apprentice asked curiously: "Is this a matter of yin and yang? "The old Taoist priest shook his head: "No, no, it's really Monday, and no one wants to go to work..." Haha, here's a joke, Monday is the beginning of your busy life, I hope you can take some time off and be happy in your busy schedule!

12. God is a thief and wants to steal another year. Fortunately, you are here! I asked him: Why not steal it with you? He shrugged and said: This friend is too important in your heart. , I can’t move it!

13. God said to me, if you don’t bless you, the rooster will lay eggs, the sun will dim, and the earth will stop spinning immediately.

To prevent chaos in the world, I have to wish you: be happy all the time, happy every day

14. Don’t stop: keep chasing your dreams; don’t give in: the sun will rise after surviving the night; the road is hard: sweat is beautiful Blessings; remember: success lies in the next step. Take a big step, yeah, fall into the pit!

15. One part of persistence, two parts of sincerity, three parts of confusion, four parts of pity, five points of tears, six taels of tenderness, seven cups of romance, eight points of love fire, nine tests, Bake it into a perfect fruit.

16. When heaven is about to bring great blessings to you, you must first call your mobile phone, ring its bell, vibrate its mobile phone, light up its screen, display its text, and pass on a string of blessings to win a smile. Finally, I wish you smile every day!

17. I wish you happiness every day. I wish you happiness with your hands on your belly, happiness with a quilt over your head, happiness with a runny nose, happiness with your face to the sky, happiness with your drinking water, happiness with your thoughts of me, happiness even if you are not happy. , healthy and happy!

18. Laugh; laugh when you have something to do, laugh when you have nothing to do, smile when you are happy; I laugh too, and you laugh too, I will send you a text message blessing; I hope you will laugh happily every day!

19. You are soy sauce and I am vinegar, bringing you good luck and blessing; you are sugar and I am salt, sending you a thousand wishes; you are red wine and I am ice, wishing you a good mood every day!

20. Because you are knowledgeable and knowledgeable, you are already known as the most popular person. However, in view of your repeated refusal to accept "red envelopes", I hereby solemnly declare: You will be destined to remain silent this summer. No "mosquitoes"!

21. Eat more apples, and you will be safe; eat more bananas, and you will have more good luck; eat more quinoa, and keep away troubles; eat more cherries, and bad luck will escape; eat more jujubes, and your dreams will come true early!

22. I wish: The leader will favor you, the police will let you go, the court will be with you, your career will be with you, your wife will be with you, you can eat and drink as you please, wealth will protect you, and you are the only one who wins the lottery!

23. The mobile phone sings a song, with three or two close friends, four or five text messages, six or seven blessings, delivered to eighty-nine people, wishing you a perfect life, long-lasting happiness, and eternal happiness!

24. The weather is too hot! I bought a mat and it turned into an electric blanket when I slept! When you meet a stranger, you look at each other and smile, and you become familiar with him! The table was too hot, and the mahjong was just set, and hey, it got burnt!