Is it appropriate to ask someone to be buried without effort after parents leave?

Last May, my friend Zhang Li's mother died of illness, and Zhang Li's younger brother fired three shots at home. After three gunshots, the villagers not only refused to help, but also talked about it at the head of the village, wanting to see the jokes of Zhang Li and his sister. But later, Zhang Li's brothers and sisters made their whole village dumbfounded.

Our custom here is that if there is a red incident at home, villagers need to come and help, and only when they come to the door in person will they come and help. If you don't live in the village and can't come to the door conveniently, you can call.

But white things are different. You can't invite them at home. This is voluntary. When a family member dies, all you need to do is fire three shots at home. When the villagers heard these three gunshots, they would know that someone in the village had died, and they would stop what they were doing and come to help themselves.

Not only the people in the village come to help, but even those who work outside know that someone in the village has died and will come back to help.

Zhang Li's family situation is quite special. Her grandfather is an outsider. When he fled the desert and came to this village, he found the village very good, so he stayed.

Zhang Li's grandmother gave birth to four children, three girls and one boy. Zhang Li's father is the youngest, and all three daughters are married to a foreign village.

As an outsider, Zhang Li's grandparents are usually cautious in the village, and are modest when talking with others, fearing to offend the villagers.

Zhang Li's mother comes from the town next door. She is more enterprising and competitive. If someone in the village offends her, she can argue with you for three days and nights. Almost half of the people in the village were offended, and many people didn't care about her mother because of Zhang Li's grandparents and father.

When Zhang Li was 8 years old and his younger brother Zhang Ming was 5 years old, his father left unexpectedly. His father is 32 years old and in his prime.

White-haired people send black-haired people. Zhang Li's grandparents couldn't bear the heavy blow. Two old classmates left one after another because of ineffective treatment and serious illness.

Grandparents died one after another, which is tantamount to adding insult to injury to Zhang Li's family, and life has become more and more difficult.

Because Zhang Li's father and grandparents have a good relationship in the village, they have never offended anyone. Usually, they actively help the village. Therefore, when Zhang Li's father and grandparents died, the villagers took the initiative to help and made their funeral very decent.

In order to support two young children, Zhang Li's mother works day and night, and she can't do some work by herself. She will also ask the villagers for help.

There are many things in front of the widow's door. After asking for help many times, some malicious people tried their best to get close to Zhang Li's mother.

But Zhang Li's mother is a self-satisfied person. She only wants to raise her two children and has no other thoughts. Moreover, she is also worried that she has remarried. Her stepfather is not good to her two children, so she has never planned to remarry.

Zhang Li's mother always keeps people at a respectful distance from others who are up to no good. In order not to make others misunderstand, Zhang Li's mother never asks the opposite sex for help again.

Zhang Li's home is on the edge of the county seat, only 3 kilometers away from the county seat. The villagers here grow vegetables for a living, and the land in their village is very valuable.

After many girls in the village got married, not only did they not transfer their hukou, but even after their children were born, they settled their hukou in the village in order to divide the fields in the village.

The population in the village is increasing, but the land is limited. The villagers often struggle to earn money for a few cents.

Shortly after Zhang Li's father and grandparents died, people in the village began to think about their fields and told them to take out the extra fields immediately. It is understandable that someone in the family passed away and was taken out of the field. Generally, family members go out of the field, no matter where they go out of the field, as long as they occupy enough acres.

It is already very painful to be taken out of the field, so everyone must have taken out a relatively barren field.

However, people in Zhangli Village bullied the Zhangli family as orphans and widows, and insisted that Zhangli's mother take out the good land. But Zhang Li's mother didn't believe it, so she sued the captain and several representatives to the town government.

After investigation, the town government staff found that the people in this village were too unkind and bullied orphans and widows, so they severely criticized the captain and villagers' representatives.

If you offend the village captain, it is equivalent to offending the whole village, especially the disadvantaged villagers, and the whole village will isolate your home.

After being severely criticized by the township government staff, the captain and the delegates not only didn't realize their mistakes, but also held a grudge against Zhang Li's mother, so they encouraged the whole village to isolate the Zhang Li family and gave them nothing at ordinary times.

Several people in the village sympathized with Zhang Li's family, but they were forced to isolate them.

Zhang Li's brothers and sisters usually have no one to play with them in the village. Seeing that their mother worked too hard alone, Zhang Li and her brother were very sensible since childhood. As soon as they came home from school, they helped their mother to do some work that they could.

Zhang Li's mother is very capable, flexible and quick to accept new things. She often grows some popular vegetables.

When some people in the village saw that the vegetables grown by Zhang Li's mother were selling well, they became jealous. While Zhang Li's mother was not looking, they deliberately destroyed their vegetable fields.

Zhang Li's mother is not an easy person. If someone destroys her vegetable field, she will not stop there, but go to the police station to report the case and let the police come and investigate.

Although it was not a big case, after the police found out, those people not only compensated Zhang Li's mother for her loss, but also received criticism and education from the police.

Since Zhang Li's mother called the police, those people never dared to destroy the vegetable fields in Zhang Li.

Those who were criticized and educated by the police gnashed their teeth at Zhang Li's mother, but were afraid to do anything about her.

Even when some people see Zhang Li's mother, they will spit on Zhang Li's mother. If it were anyone else, they would definitely ignore it, but Zhang Li's mother is very provocative, and she won't let those people go easily.

When someone spits at her, she will catch that person and scold him for three days and nights until he admits cowardice.

In order to protect their legitimate rights and interests, Zhang Li's mother became a real bitch in the village, and the villagers never dared to bully their family again.

Being unpopular in the village since childhood, Zhang Li and her younger brother studied very hard and wanted to leave the village.

Zhang Li's brother and sister are very competitive. Zhang Li was admitted to a normal university. After graduating from college, she was assigned to a county high school as a Chinese teacher. Her husband and she went to college together. After graduation, Zhang Li returned to our county as a high school teacher.

Zhang Li's husband wrote a good article. I worked as a high school teacher for several years, and was promoted to the county government office as a secretary, and later came to the township as a deputy mayor. Since he became a deputy mayor, his life has been like a dead end, and he has been promoted all the way. Now he is the head of a county-level department.

Zhang Ming is even worse. He was admitted to a 985 school and stayed in Nanning after graduating from college. Now he is the vice president of a state-owned enterprise with an annual salary of several hundred thousand. His wife is also the leader of a company, and her salary is also very high.

Zhang Li and her brother each have a daughter.

Just when her mother was 55 years old, Zhang Ming paid more than 60 thousand to buy her mother a pension, and she could get more than 2,000 a month.

After Zhang Ming joined the work, he stopped growing vegetables to sell to his mother. But to take her to Nanning to live together. He seldom goes home at ordinary times, and they don't come back to attend any weddings and funerals in the village.

A few years ago, all the fields in Zhangli Village were expropriated, and everyone got more than 400,000 yuan. Since Zhang Li and Zhang Ming have transferred their registered permanent residence, only her mother has been expropriated.

Some families in their village took two or three million yuan and suddenly became millionaires. After a large number of people suddenly became rich, they lived a dissolute life all day, and some even gambled, and soon they all lost.

A few years ago, Zhang Ming spent hundreds of thousands of yuan to tear down and rebuild the house in his hometown and build a magnificent villa. After the house was built, Zhang Li's two brothers and sisters went back for a holiday every year.

Zhang Li's mother's yard is very wide, so the car can be parked directly in the yard.

Seeing that Zhang Li and his sister have a successful career and a happy family, the people in the village look at them with new eyes, not only dare not bully them, but also want to befriend them.

However, due to the deep injury before, no matter how enthusiastic the villagers are to them, there is no way to warm their hearts. Zhang Li and others have always kept a long distance from the village. When they saw Zhang Li and others doing this, some people in the village secretly called Zhang Li and his sister arrogant and incapable of being human. They also said that they would look good after their mother died.

When the villagers secretly scolded Zhang Li and his sister, some nosy people passed these words on to Zhang Li's mother. However, Zhang Li's mother changed her irritable personality when she was young. Hearing the messages from these busybodies, she just smiled and said nothing.

The year before last, Zhang Li's 70-year-old mother suffered from pancreatic cancer, but because it was found to be in the advanced stage, there was no way to perform surgical treatment, so she had to be treated conservatively.

After all, many old people don't want to die outside.

One month before Zhang Li's mother left, Zhang Ming sent her old mother back from Nanning to live in her hometown. Zhang Li's brothers and sisters take turns to take care of her mother and take care of her meticulously, which makes her feel very gratified.

Although Zhang Li's mother is a rural woman, she is an open-minded person. She has lived in the village for decades and knows the villagers very well. If she had a funeral at home when she died, people in the village would deliberately make things difficult for their children. This is not what she wants to see.

Zhang Li's mother handed over her two children again and again before she died, and said to them, "You both lived up to expectations and were very filial to me. I feel very satisfied. I have no regrets in my life. It's a pity that your father left too early to see the day when you were promising. After I leave, you can cremate me, and then ask someone to dig a hole and bury me next to your father. Remember, don't ask villagers for help. Not only will they not help you, but they will also take this opportunity to insult you. Don't let them succeed. "

Zhang Li's mother closed her eyes soon after saying this sentence. As soon as my mother closed her eyes, Zhang Li called several relatives of my grandmother's family and several of our usual good friends to help.

Zhang Li's mother died at six o'clock in the evening, so it is impossible to take her to the crematorium at this time.

After discussion, it was decided that Zhang Li would leave his mother at home for one night, and everyone would wake up together and call the crematorium for cremation the next day.

According to our local custom, whether there is a funeral or not, death will set off firecrackers three times after leaving. The significance of setting off these three firecrackers is not only to inform the villagers that a relative has passed away, but also to tell the dead ancestors to come back and lead the way for the dead.

After his mother died, Zhang Ming fired three shots at home according to local customs. After hearing the three cannons, the villagers did not come to help, but gathered at the head of the village to discuss. I thought Zhang Ming would come to them for help, and then I humiliated him.

After all, the funeral procedure is very complicated and needs many people. Some things can't be done with money.

Zhang Ming put off the gun and came in to change his mother's shroud with his sister. After they changed their shroud, several of our good friends and relatives also arrived. We carried Zhang Li's mother to the living room for display, then covered with white cloth and burned incense in the living room.

On the night of the wake, we were too lazy to cook and ordered takeout. Only a dozen people attended the wake that night. Everyone was chatting on their mobile phones in the living room, but Zhang Li and his sister didn't cry. Because when their mother was still alive, they had done their filial piety.

Birth, aging, illness and death are natural laws, and no one can change them. Besides, Zhang Li's mother suffered from illness in recent months, so death is not a relief for Zhang Li's mother.

At about 10 the next morning, the bus from the crematorium arrived. Zhang Li rented a bus, and we followed the bus to the crematorium to meet her mother.

After cremation, Zhang Ming came back with his mother's urn. Zhang Li's cousins dug up her father's grave, then put down her mother's urn and covered it with earth. When everyone left, they all put three incense in front of the tombstone and then left.

After leaving, we went into Zhang Li's mother's house and washed our hands with grapefruit leaves, even after the funeral.

After doing this, Zhang Ming ordered two tables of dishes in the restaurant, and everyone ate and chatted together.

Some of our friends wanted to send a package to Zhang Li, but she refused. They refused to accept the parcel.

People in Zhangli Village originally wanted to see the jokes of the Zhangli family, but they failed. It never occurred to them that Zhang Li and his sister would handle their mother's funeral like this.

Is it appropriate to ask someone to be buried without effort after parents leave?

Personally, I don't think it's appropriate to say that it's not appropriate to make your own decision.

Funeral thrifty, no banquet, friends and relatives get together, make the last farewell, and the last trip to the elderly is also the last filial piety.

Now there is a phenomenon in the countryside that parents do great things when they are alive. This method is not advisable.

Just be filial when your parents are alive. Funerals are for outsiders, and it doesn't make much sense.

Parents are filial when they are alive, and how to deal with the funeral after death, others dare not accuse you or make irresponsible remarks. Your cause is up to you, and this funeral is up to you.