English jokes

Lead: People who love to laugh are never too bad luck. Here, I have collected some English jokes. Maybe I can hit your funny point.

1. Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day? Tom: Every time I pass the corner near the school, I see a sign that says "School-Go Slow".

2. One day, a university psychology professor was greeting his freshmen. He stood in front of the whole class and said, "Please all those who think they are stupid stand up." After a silence of about a minute, a young man stood up. "Well, good morning. So, do you really think you are an idiot? " The professor asked. "No, sir, I just don't want to see you standing there alone."

One day in class, the teacher asked the students to write a composition-if I were a manager.

All the students began to write except one boy. The teacher came up to him and asked why.

"I'm waiting for my secretary," the boy replied.

Doctor: Your cough sounds much better today.

Patient: Of course. I practiced all night.

A poor man looked very unhappy, and he walked into the doctor's office.

"Doctor," he said, "you must help me. I swallowed a penny about a month ago. "

"Jesus, man!" The doctor said. "Why did you wait so long? Why didn't you come to me the day you swallowed it? "

"To tell you the truth, doctor," the poor man replied, "I didn't need money that much then."

One day, a father and his little son were on their way home. At this age, boys are interested in all kinds of things and always ask questions. Now, he asked, "Dad, what does the word' drunk' mean?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are two policemen standing there. If I think two policemen are four, then I am drunk. "

"But, Dad," said the boy, "there is only one policeman!"

translate

Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day? Tom: Every time I pass the corner, I see a sign that says, "School-Go slow."

2. One day, a university psychology professor greeted his freshmen. He stood in front of the students and said, "If any student thinks he is stupid, please stand up." About a minute later, a young man stood up. The professor said, "Hi, hello. Do you really think you are an imbecile? " The child replied, "no, sir, I just can't bear to see you standing here alone."

One day in class, the teacher asked the students to write a composition on the topic "If I were a manager".

All the students are writing except one boy. The teacher went over and asked him why he didn't write.

I am waiting for my secretary. The child replied.

Doctor: It sounds like your cough is much better today.

Patient: I think so. I practiced all night last night.

A poor man who looked miserable walked into the doctor's office.

"Doctor!" He said, "Help me! I swallowed a penny a month ago! "

"Good heavens," said the doctor, "why did you leave so early? Then why don't you come and have a look? "

"To tell you the truth, doctor," said the poor man, "I was not short of money then!"

6. One day, the father came home with his youngest son. The child is at the age of being interested in everything and always has endless questions. He asked his father, "Dad, what does the word' drunk' mean?" "Well, son," the father replied, "Look, there are two policemen standing there. If I see that they are four, then I am drunk. "

"But, Dad," said the child, "there is only one policeman there!"

;