Song Xiaobao's lines in the sketch of Happy Camp in Benshan. . . Some speed. Here. . Thank you very much. . .

Three visits to the thatched cottage

Narrator: In other words, the general trend in this world is that long-term separation must be combined, and long-term separation must be divided. Since Taoyuan became sworn, Liu Guanzhang has opened a supermarket named * *, which has attracted countless people to compete for money. However, Sun Quan of Soochow opened a Carrefour, and Cao Cao of Wei opened a RT Mart, which was a tripartite confrontation. This story tells the story of Liu Guanzhang, who invited Zhuge Liang out of the mountain.

[ Liu Guanzhang and three others appear ]

Zhang Fei: Eldest brother, it's the first month. All the year-end bonuses paid years ago have been spent. When will the rest be paid?

Guan Yu: Third brother, you don't know. Recently, we have expanded our business scope on a large scale, such as decoration and staff salaries. We have spent 7788 yuan on all the money we earned this year, which is really a bit overwhelming.

Zhang: that's not easy. bring in more suppliers and charge some fees.

Liu: Third brother, don't talk nonsense. (Singing (Love Business Tone)): You don't want to charge, you can charge if you want, and you have to comfort the supplier and keep him. (Trio Chorus): You don't want to charge. You can charge if you want. What if you charge last year and run away this year?

[ The three of them spread their hands and sighed ]

Guan: What's your opinion?

Liu: I read the group newspaper the other day, and there was a report about a man named Zhuge Liang. You know, Zhuge Liang's IQ is very high, about 8, and the Jianghu people call him the Emperor of Strategy. As long as we have him, we will be able to unify the whole country!

Zhang: Then let's go and invite him.

Liu: "GO! GO! GO!”

Guan and Zhang: "Ole Ole Ole Ole"

[ Liu Guan and Zhang ]

Narrator: Three people set foot on the road to Wolonggang in Longzhong. As the saying goes, there will be a road in the end, and there will be obstacles in the way. No, there are three suspicious figures on the mountain road.

[ three suppliers ]

For A: "My home is in Luzhou Prefecture, and it is delivered to * * every day."

for b: "because of the high cost last year, I earned a dime at the end of the year."

for c: "in order to support the family, I changed my profession and pretended to be a roadblock."

[Liu Guanzhang ]

For A: "Stop! I opened this mountain, this tree ... "

For B, for C[ contemptuous gesture]:" Cut ~ ~ "

For B:" Robbery is so unoriginal. At first glance, you are Outman. This period was performed by the brand department last year. We must keep pace with the times. "

for C[ jumping out] "We just made a very difficult decision, you know!"

for b: "IC, IP, IQ cards, tell me all the passwords!"

Guan: "Brother, it seems that someone has robbed!"

Zhang [rubbing his hands]: "I'll do it for those who don't know how to live or die!"

Liu: "Take your time, my dear brother, and convince others with virtue."

Liu: "Those who report robbery have no IQ card."

for b: "why not!"

Liu: "I have IQ, but you don't."

For B: "Give me yours and I'll have it."

Liu: "You don't need it if I give it to you."

for b: "give me the password and I can use it!" "

Liu: "Without a password, IQ is IQ."

for b: "what is IQ? Bring it! "

Liu [pointing to his head]: "IQ is brain"

For C: "Oh, what a fool! He said you have no brain! "

for b: "who says I have no brain! Maybe we will pair up and let you pass! "

Liu [facing the audience]: "Only his IQ is right." [turning to B] "It's a deal, please make a question!"

for b: "then I can go out, listen carefully ~ the heavenly king covers the earth!" "

[ Liu Guan and Liu Guan show relaxed smiles ]

Zhang [stepped forward]: "I know, I know, do a pole dance!"

[ Liu Guan and his wife are in a state of collapse ]

Guan [slapping his head]: "I told you to study, but you have to feed the pigs! It's the river demon in Baota Town! "

Gong B[ spurting blood]: "They matched such a difficult couple!"

For A: "Whatever, brothers, let's do it!"

[ The two sides fight, and Zhang Zhang hits three, and Liu climbs aside] [The supplier's clothes are torn open, revealing the supplier's name ]

Zhang: "Hey, isn't this our supplier?"

Guan: "Brothers, why are you robbing here?"

For A: "Alas, the cost was too high last year, and we didn't make any money, so we had to rob the subsidized household here."

Liu: "supplier brothers, you have always cooperated happily with us. Thank you for your support last year. With you, our business can be carried out smoothly. Don't worry, we will add 1 stores this year, and the sales will increase by n times. You will definitely earn a lot of money and make sure that you count your money and get cramps! "

for a: "really? ! Then you have to go home early and practice your fingers. "

for c: "we're going back to deliver the goods to * *!"

Liu Guanzhang sang [sign language]: "Grateful heart, thank you for delivering the goods to me, so that my sales can reach a new high."

Everyone sang: "Grateful heart, thanks to fate, * * * creates * * * and we will definitely win."

[ For three people ]

Guan: "Brother, it's getting late today. Let's go to Wolonggang another day."

Liu: "Good."

[ Three people get off ]

Narrator: After a few days, the three people set out again and came to Zhuge Liang's thatched cottage in Wolonggang, Longzhong.

Liu [knocking at the door]: "Dangdang Dangdang, is Mr. Wolong at home?"

[ Kong Rong and Cui Hua, the maid ]

Cui: "Miss, someone is here to see Mr. Zhuge."

Rong: "Today * * is on sale. My cousin went to grab Chinese cabbage early in the morning and hasn't come back yet. I don't know who is coming? "

Cui: "It seems to be that uncle Liu Bei."

Rong: "I heard that Liu Bei has a good name. I'll go and meet him for a while."

Cui: "Miss, you are a daughter's house, so how can you show your face easily?"

Rong [after a moment's reflection]: "It's easy, I dress up as a man. Cui Hua, open the door. "

[ Rong changed into men's clothes ]

Rong: "What is Liu Huangshu doing here?"

Liu [making a gesture]: "Mr. Bei Jiumu missed the meeting, and today I'm here to invite Mr. Liu down the mountain to help him become a great event."

Rong: "I am Zhuge Kong Rongye, the brother of Wolong."

Zhang: "What, dinosaurs? [Looking at the face carefully] It is a bit like it. "

Cui [pushes Zhang away]: "Go, go, it's Kong Rong!"

Zhang: "Wow ~ ~ beauty! Name? Age? Measurement? "

Cui: "bah! You are a smelly rascal! "

Zhang: "Hey ~ What are you talking about? This kid is so rude."

Cui: "What do you care? Is this your home?"

[ The two of them make gestures, and Guan Zhang pulls away and Rong Cui pulls away ]

Liu: "Stop arguing, please let me know, and tell him that Liu Bei came to see Mr Zhuge Liang."

Cui: "Three words for you!"

Liu: "Please go inside."

Cui: "Not at home!"

Liu: "Huh?"

Rong [pulls Cui aside]: "Cui Hua, that big beard over there is quite handsome!"

Cui: "Really, let me have a look. [Looking for it, going to the customs] Where is the handsome guy? "

Guan [takes out a comb and a mirror from his pocket]: "I wake up handsome by myself every morning!"

Cui and Rong [spoony]: "So handsome ~ ~"

Rong [pulls Cui aside]: "I like him so much."

Cui: "Want to see him again?"

Rong: "hmm."

Cui [turns to Liu Guanzhang]: "I want to see Mr. Wolong. Come back tomorrow!"

Liu [three people bowing]: "Then Liu will leave first!" [Three people get off ]

[ Rong reluctantly gets pulled off by Cui ]

Narrator: The next day, Liu Guanzhang and three people braved the snow and set foot on the road to Wolonggang.

[ Liu Guan Zhang Shang ]

Liu sang (back to her mother's home): "The wind is blowing on the willows, and he's rustling ..."

Guan sang: "The running water of the river is crashing ..."

Zhang sang: "Three brothers, he's carrying a big gift bag,"

Chorus: "They want to.

Liu [knocking at the door]: "Dangdang Dangdang, is Mr. Wolong at home?"

[ Liang, Rong and Cui go on stage, Rong rushes forward, but Cui pulls them ]

Liang: "I'm Zhuge Liang. Alas, isn't this Liu Huangshu? What brings you here? I said, why did the magpies keep barking this morning? "

Liu: "I'm a night owl-everything comes. [Take out the gift] A little something, no respect, please accept it. "

Liang [pretending to decline]: Look at you, come as soon as you come. What else can you take? Are you welcome?

Guan: "This is a product that we * * purchased and picked by ourselves. It's of good quality and delicious. It's not over the year. Let me give you a taste."

Liang [accepts the gift]: "Then Liang will accept it. [Put the gift away for Rong Cui] I wonder why your uncle came to Liang? "

Liu: "I've heard your name for a long time. I wonder if you know the way of supermarket management?"

bright: "a little."

Liu: "What about the product structure?"

bright: "a little."

Liu: "Store management?"

Liang: "Slightly understand"

Liu [making a speech]: "That ~ ~ ~ ~"

Guan, Zhang: "Slightly understand ~ ~"

Liu [turning to Guan Zhang]: "Go, I haven't spoken yet ~~

Liang [feather fan]

Liu [turns to light]: "Sir, what a genius! Please come out of the mountain to help me! "

Liang: "As the saying goes, good birds choose trees to live in. If you want me to come out of the mountain, I will test your IQ first."

Liu: "Sir, I just think that you have never seen my IQ so high. Four Great Classical Novels, I am backwards. "

Cui: "Blow you!"

Rong: "Then recite it for us."

Liu [thoughtfully]: "Listen carefully. Famous senior! "

[ Everyone faints] Liang: "Come on, come on, Four Great Classical Novels hasn't come out yet."

Liu [smugly]: "Don't you know that crossing is popular recently? When I was fine, I wore it for five thousand years. "

Liang: "OK, then I like you ~ ~ First question [sticking up a finger]: What is this?"

Liu: "Finger."

Liang: "The finger is so simple, can I ask you?"

Guan: "So is it one?"

Liang: "Two people are a pair of idiots! [Hands pointing up] What is this? "

Liu: "What?"

Liang: "The ceiling!"

Liu: "Your fingers are too short."

Liang: "There's nothing I can do about it. It's original and can't be changed. Then I will give you a debut question. "

Liu: "I was careless just now. I'm sure I'll be fine this time. You can go out."

Liang: "The second and last question."

Liu: "Just two questions?"

Liang: "Break the routine, just two questions. Essay question: What are courtesy, righteousness, honesty and faith? "

Liu [looks at Guan]: "This ..."

Zhang [jumps out]: "Haha, this is so simple!"

[ The whole audience looks at Zhang]: "You know?"

Zhang [proudly]: "I let people start a fight first, which is called a gift. It is righteous for us three brothers to share the meat. We never play mahjong for a thousand dollars, which means honesty. This letter means that we never default when we lose money."

Liu Guan [both of them lift their feet and kick Zhang]: "Go ~ ~ ~"

Liu [ponders for a long time]: "No, I have to ask for foreign aid. [Facing the audience] The audience and friends off the field have knowledge ~~ ~ Who will come up and help ~ ~ "

* * employees [walk on stage from the audience]:" It is a gift to treat guests with affection, to repay the social service community, to be honest in managing the real thing, and to be faithful in keeping promises and returning them. "

Liu: "That's awesome!" [Everyone on the stage applauds] ([If no one applauds] Liu asks again, "Do you think he is right?" [The audience shouted right! ])

Liu Guanzhang [POSE] for victory]: "Yeah ~ ~"

Liu: "Mr. Wolong, you can go out now!"

Liang: "Since I got it right, I will allow you to go out."

Rong: "Cousin, wait!"

[ Rong Hecui pulls Liang aside and whispers, but when Liang does not agree, Rong pulls his sleeve to be coquettish, highlights his head, and walks up to Liu ]

Liang: "Uncle, if you want to show off the mountain, you have to promise to shine on one thing."

Liu: "What is it?"

Liang: "My son Rong is very fond of General Guan and wants to make friends with him."

[ Cui Furong walks shyly to Guan ]

Guan: "Guan is only interested in beautiful women and doesn't like men."

Rong [pulls off his hat and lets his hair hang freely]: "I'm a beauty ~ ~"

[vomits all over the room ]

Liu: "Second brother, in order to * * be able to rush out of Anhui and travel all over the country, you should follow!" [Take a look at your face before vomiting ]

Guan: "That's all, for our sake * *, I promised ~"

Rong: "Xianggong ~" [pouncing on Guan ]

Guan: "Help ~ ~" [off the stage ]

Rong: "Xianggong and so on.

Liu and Zhang: "Go!" [Under the whole audience]