English humorous jokes that must be seen when learning English.

English humorous jokes that must be seen when learning English.

1, there are two questions in an English exam:

1) I put on my coat, only to find that the first button fell off.

When he heard the telephone ring, he answered it.

The correct answer should be:

I put on my coat and found the first button dropped.

As soon as he heard the phone ring, he went to pick it up.

But a student's answer is:

1) Shit!

2) hello?

2. The teacher wrote a sentence on the blackboard: Time is money. Let the students translate it.

A student replied:? Tom is Mary. ?

Xiaoming said to the teacher in English class: Can I go to the toilet?

The teacher said, go.

Xiaoming sat down. After a while, Xiao Ming said to the teacher, May I go to the toilet?

The teacher said, go.

Xiaoming sat down again. The classmate next to me couldn't help asking: Didn't you tell the teacher to go to the toilet? Why not go?

Xiao Ming said: You didn't hear the teacher say "Fuck you"!

4. One day, Liu Hongtao met a foreign guest. He stepped forward and said, "I'm Liu Hongtao."

The foreign guest said, I'm still Fang Qi!

When Jiang Qing met with foreign guests, she asked the translator to translate strictly according to her meaning and not to go out of shape.

When the foreign guests saw Jiang Qing, they immediately flattered and said, "Miss Jiang, you are very beautiful."

After the translation, Jiang Qing was elated, and she had to be modest: where, where? .

The translator did not dare to neglect, and translated Jiang Qing's words into English: "Where? Where? "

The foreign guests were dumbfounded, and this kind of person asked where to look good, and simply slammed into the end: "Everywhere, everywhere."

Translation:? You are beautiful everywhere. ?

Jiang Qing is happier, but always be polite: It's not true. It's not true? .

The translator was quickly translated into English: "Don't look, don't look."

6, a pair of men and women in love. Girls are very insecure and say to their boyfriends. Say? I love you! ! ? Say it! Say it! Say it! ?

The man replied:? It! ?

7. If someone studies English hard, he will eventually achieve something. One day, I accidentally collided with a foreigner in the street.

I'm really sorry.

The foreigner replied, I'm sorry, too.

Hearing this, someone added: I'm sorry, three.

The foreigner was puzzled and asked, What are you sorry for?

Some people have no choice but to say, I'm sorry.

8. When a man who is fluent in English comes to the embassy, he has to fill out a form. One of the columns is: sex. The man thought for a long time and decided to write: once a week? .

The visa officer smiled and said:? This item should be filled in as male or female. ?

The man immediately blushed, thought about it, and filled it out? Woman? , officer stare blankly, yue:? Should I? It won't be a man, will it?

The man quickly explained: I am a normal man, so I have sex with women. ?

9. In the first year of junior high school, the English teacher asked us to read the text, which happened to be a conversation, so we called two students, a man and a woman, to read it.

Man: What time is it?

Woman: It's nine o'clock.

Man: Let's go to bed.

W: We go to bed at nine o'clock.

The whole class is a complete failure.

10, one day, I was going to school by car and walking on the road. A car passed quickly in front of me and hit a Japanese who was sightseeing. Of course, the situation is very scary, and the good-hearted people on the roadside immediately rushed forward and asked: How are you?

The Japanese answer was out of breath: F .. well, th .. thank you ... and you?

The onlookers suddenly froze. . . This shows that Japanese English is rote learning!

1 1, male, fluent in English, going to the embassy, there are forms to fill out, and one column is about sex.

The man thought for a long time and decided to write: once a week? .

The visa officer smiled and said:? This item should be filled in as male or female. ?

The man immediately blushed, thought about it, and filled it out? Woman? , officer stare blankly, yue:? Should I? It won't be a man, will it?

The man quickly explained: I am a normal man, so I have sex with women. ?

12 years ago, a man with poor English went to the United States on business and longed for the Statue of Liberty. He deliberately inquired about the telephone number of the management office and then took a taxi.

His taxi driver said:? Where is the free woman?

The driver looked at him: hey, man, this is America, and nothing is free. ?

The man is in a hurry: I know a famous free woman, and I have her phone number. It's sexual, sexual and free (66626 13)! ?

13, Xiaoming said to the teacher in English class: May I go to the toilet?

The teacher said, go.

Xiaoming sat down. After a while, Xiao Ming said to the teacher, May I go to the toilet?

The teacher said, go.

Xiaoming sat down again. The classmate next to me couldn't help asking: Didn't you tell the teacher to go to the toilet? Why not go?

Xiao Ming said: You didn't hear the teacher say "Fuck you"!

Xiao Qiang went to the movies. When he arrived at the movie ticket office, he found that a foreigner had even competed with the conductor for a long time, so he volunteered to be an interpreter. The ticket lady said, please tell her that the tickets are sold out now, only standing tickets are left. If you want to see them, you must stand and see them.

Xiao Qiang turned his head and said to the foreigner, don't sit and watch, stand and watch. If you see it, stand and watch.

The foreigner replied: Sorry, I don't understand your English.

Xiao Qiang said to the conductor, Oh, he said he didn't understand English.

15. If someone studies English hard, he will achieve something. One day, I accidentally bumped into a foreigner in the street. I said, I'm sorry.

The foreigner replied, I'm sorry, too.

Hearing this, someone added: I'm sorry, three.

The foreigner was puzzled and asked, What are you sorry for?

Some people have no choice but to say, I'm sorry.

The English teacher asked a student, "What do you mean?"

What do the students think, you are you, so answer. Why are you?

The teacher was angry and asked another classmate: How old do you mean?

The classmate thought for a moment and said, It's always you ?

17. An international student in the United States wants to take an international driver's license. Because I was so nervous during the exam, I saw the marking on the ground turn left.

He asked uneasily, Turn left?

The invigilator replied: Yes.

So he turned right at once.

I'm sorry he can only come next time.

18, female: Say? I love you? Say it out, come on! Say it!

Man: it!

19, the teacher wrote a sentence on the blackboard: Time is money, let the students translate.

A student replied:? Tom is Mary. ?

What? Do you have it?

B: Watch this.

A: How do you spell it?

B: T-H-A-T~

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