Ten classic jokes: the consequences of punctuation

1. With the passage of time, my love for her has been hard to extricate myself. I will try to create opportunities to get close to her in my normal life. I will send her Lamian Noodles on New Year's Day, invite her to play at the vernal equinox and give her a carp flag on Children's Day ... but she refused my kindness and even alienated me bit by bit.

Finally, one day, I got up the courage to ask her why she did this to me. She said that she already has a boyfriend. Her boyfriend is very nice, considerate, gentle and considerate. The most important thing is to know what she really likes ...

I asked her: What do you like? She answered me: what I like most is the masculinity of boys, which can give people a sense of dependence.

Finally, she promised me that on Halloween, as long as I can play the most manly role, she will be my girlfriend for one day ... police comrade, believe me! I'm really not a pervert, I'm just a teenager who longs for love. ...

Second, there are beautiful women in the circle of friends who send chest photos, which makes me want to stop. So I commented below: "I see two holes in my underwear." After a while, she replied to me: "Well, do you want it?" At this time, my brain was bloodshot and I typed back to her with one hand: "How much is it if you want it?" She replied to me, "Twenty dollars for a pair of underwear, and two for postage, dear." Paralysis this routine I took. ...

3. Today, I heard an aunt say to her boss at the massage parlor, "I have one left in my card, and I'm going to leave it for my son to press." I just want to say that this aunt really cares about her son. Unexpectedly, she added to the boss with special emphasis: "If he comes, you must remember to remind him that there is no money in the card, and remember to charge it."

Fourth, losing your temper is a gift from childhood. ...

I met a beggar at the station. He has a piece of paper in his hand, which says: I am deaf and dumb, please give me some charity. I suspected that he was a liar, so I said, sorry, I can't read. Then he began to talk: Brother, my wallet was stolen and I have no money to buy a ticket home. Please lend me some money. I'm surprised: aren't you deaf? He was also surprised: can't you read?

Xiao Ming's diary: Uncle Wang and his mother came to my house to play today, saying that I could eat snacks after I finished my homework. Then, Uncle Wang praised me for doing my homework well and picked up my mother. My mother told my uncle to be careful, and then my uncle kissed my mother and me.

Teacher's reply: Take it home and show your dad if there is any problem with punctuation marks or if your uncle Wang and your mother have any problems.

On the bus, Xiao Ming saw a thief stealing a lady's bag and had a brainwave. He said, "Mom, you dropped it. This uncle picked it up for you." The thief smiled awkwardly and returned the bag to her. When getting off the bus, the lady pulled Xiao Ming off. Xiao Ming said anxiously, "She is not my mother!" " "The passengers all laughed and said," The child is naughty again. "Later, Xiao Ming was sold to other places to dig coal. Xiao Ming worked hard and was appreciated by the coal boss. A year later, the coal boss died of serious illness and passed on his property to Xiaoming. In order to thank the lady who kidnapped him, Xiao Ming asked around which lady it was, redeemed her from a red light district on the roadside in the country, invited her to eat a big meal, and then sold it to Dongguan, where the business was better. ...

Xiaoming found his long-lost mother, who was dying. Finally, he revealed that Xiaoming bought it from a trafficker, leaving a clue and dying. Xiao Ming tried to find his real mother, and the result was that ... the real mother in Dongguan said that the child was wanted by the police for the first time that year, and a coal boss took her in! After having Xiaoming with the coal boss, he was found by the boss in the main room and secretly sold Xiaoming to the traffickers. Xiao Ming, who knows the truth, has already had a child with the daughter of the coal boss. Embarrassed and sad, I found out that the boss's daughter was not related to him after the appraisal ... Xiaoming was in high spirits and made an appraisal with his own children. As a result, the children and Xiaoming are not father and son ... Finally, Xiaoming discovered that the children and the coal boss are father and son! It turns out that the coal boss knew the truth long ago and asked Xiao Ming to be a pawn after he was seriously ill!

7. When buying breakfast in the morning, a young man came to the booth and shouted: Heaven will cover the land. The boss replied directly: pancakes are two and a half yuan. The young man added: the river demon in Baota town. Boss: Do you want Chili? I just knelt down. ...

Eight, I have studied martial arts, so I am good at fighting and I am famous at school. A brother asked me to help him box after school. At that time, there were more than 40 people here and more than 30 people opposite, and they fought without saying anything. The scene is quite chaotic. I picked up a short one and knocked down five or six. That's exciting. After that, the brother invited me to dinner, only to find that all five or six short people were there!

Nine, I have a buddy, super handsome, sweet mouth, good at coaxing girls. I just graduated from college and went to work in a private enterprise. As soon as I got there, I had a charming son-in-law. Since then, I have lived a carefree life. Now I will go to his house and take him out in a wheelchair to listen to him talk about his past. ...

10. My wife and colleagues have a shota who doesn't eat well at home. His grandmother told him that if he doesn't eat well in the future, he won't get a beautiful wife. shota looked up at his grandmother and said that my grandfather didn't eat well before. After I heard it, I sprayed it directly. Children nowadays are so witty!

Wife: "It's annoying to give pocket money every day! Can I give it to you at one time? " Husband: "of course, I feel trouble!" " The wife took out one hundred yuan: "Here you are! "Husband:" Five dollars a day, thirty days a month, one hundred and fifty! "How to give a hundred?" Wife: "Don't you understand? If you buy more things, isn't it wholesale? This is the wholesale price for you! " Husband: "God ..."