Jokes: A few jokes that burst into laughter.

I believe everyone will hear some jokes or humorous things intentionally or unintentionally every day. Jokes actually exist in a large number of folk literature. Are there any books that don't make people laugh? You can imagine what a world without laughter would be like in real society. Dare not think, hahaha.

Today, I spent some time sorting out some high-quality paragraphs for everyone and made appropriate optimization and modification. The figure below shows the general statistics.

The following is the breakdown: Love (10)

1, honesty

Before dating, you must say that you are ugly. If you are beautiful and handsome, people will think you are modest. If you are really ugly, at least you can find another advantage, and that is honesty.

Step 2 be kind

Mr. Grape fell in love with the walnut girl and confessed to her, but he was rejected.

Mr. Grape asked indignantly: Why? We have been together for so long!

The walnut girl said shyly, because I already have benevolence in my heart.

3. Love you

A couple snuggled up by the lake.

The girlfriend said, "Do you love me?"

Boyfriend: "Of course, I love you more than my own life."

My girlfriend pointed to the lake and said, "If you dare to jump from here, I will believe you."

The boyfriend immediately turned and ran away. After a while, he came back panting.

Girlfriend: "What did you do?"

Boyfriend: "honey, I went to buy a lifebuoy!" "

4. routine

One day, a girl thought in her mind that she wanted to tell the boy she liked.

Thinking about it, the boy came to her and told her that I like you and be my girlfriend.

The girl agreed, and then the boy slowly fell in love with the girl. One day, he joked, I tell you, my friend and I lost the bet that day.

The girl smiled and said, I know, I made them do it.

Step 5 save money

The boy said to the girl, why did you take all my money?

The girl said: I'm afraid I'll spend all your money and I won't marry you in the future.

The boy said: if we don't get together in the future, won't I lose a lot?

The girl said, that's more important. If other girls are extravagant, you can't afford to marry. I have to keep it for you. I can't let you be a bachelor.

Boys. . .

6. negative

I quarreled with my girlfriend these two days, during the cold war.

Asked if my colleague could get his girlfriend to talk to me, he said, "When you go home, turn off the main tap water gate, drink all the water in the water dispenser, unscrew the light bulb in the toilet and put some viruses in her computer. She will naturally talk to you. "

So I went home and did it right away.

When my girlfriend came home, she found that what she used at home was broken. She thinks I'm too poor and now she has to break up with me. . .

7. Reasonable

Falling in love and getting married is about who is shameless. Those who had true love but were afraid to express it destroyed a batch; After being together, it is difficult to leave a group because of the opposition of the other family; When getting along with each other, I was embarrassed to apologize and make up with each other because of the quarrel, and forced to leave a group; Finally, the ultimate hero who can tie the knot is bold, cautious and thick-skinned.

8. Stop crying

A girl is chatting with her girlfriend: "My boyfriend is a sissy. I broke up with him. He was particularly sad, but he didn't cry. "

Boudoir thumbs up: "Isn't this manly?"

The girl was furious: "Good man, he said he can't cry because his mascara is not waterproof."

9. Miss you

Boring messages with my girlfriend.

Woman: "Honey, what are you doing? I'm thinking about you. " ?

Me: "What a coincidence, I am thinking about myself just like you."

As a result, she ignored me for a week.

Did I say something wrong?

10, bitter

A buddy, usually the wife is in charge of money at home, and married men know it. . .

Once, his wife was on a business trip, and as a result, he didn't even have the money to eat, so he came to my house for dinner.

"You don't even have money to eat. Why don't you ask your nephew for it? "

"I want it. She clocked in for work. I didn't get it. "

"Why don't you get it?"

"She said. The password is the date of our first movie. I ... "

"Stop it. I understand! Let's go Eat vegetables ... "

Couples (10)

1, shopping

I have known my wife for many years and have never bought flowers. I asked her out shopping that day in the name of leaving work early.

Be late on purpose, take a shortcut from the back and give her the flowers handsomely.

I thought of many scenes, such as being moved to tears, ecstatic and so on.

Unexpectedly, the goods froze for a while, and then became shy:

"Sorry to get it, let eldest brother spend so much money ..."

Step 2 be confident

Wife: Honey, I'm so stupid. What do you see in me?

Husband: I have a billion dollars in the Swiss bank. Can you believe it?

Wife: I believe it.

Husband: This is what I like about you.

Step 3 wash dishes

After dinner, my wife and I are too lazy to wash the dishes.

I suggested, "Why don't we guess boxing? The loser washes! "

She shook her head and said shyly, "No, she's a lady. It's so rude to guess boxing!" " "

I thought about it and suggested, "Then let's guess coins!" Then I took a coin out of my pocket.

Suddenly the wife said angrily, "How dare you hide private money! ! ! Punish you for washing dishes for three days. "

4. Title

A young couple upstairs recently gave birth to a child. Both of them are only children, and both want their children to take their surnames.

Now we fight about this every day. Finally, the community came forward to mediate and invited both parents to decide who the child belongs to through auction.

In the end, this woman with deep pockets smashed more than 400,000 in one breath and got the naming rights.

In the evening, the young couple were in bed wondering whether to buy a BMW or a Land Rover. . .

5. Cold War

I have a cold war with my wife recently. We sleep in different rooms. No matter how much I apologized, she refused to talk to me.

I had no choice, so I sent her a scary little video and locked the door.

Now, no matter how loudly the door knocks, I'm still bedridden!

Small sample, yesterday you ignored me, today I keep you awake at night. ...

6. It's so cold

In the evening, my husband was about to fall asleep with his wife in his arms. My husband said a word in his ear: "This life is really short." ?

My wife was surprised, no way, this,,, this. . . ?

His wife is still wondering why he suddenly said this, and she is still thinking about how to comfort him. Then the husband said, "that foot can't be covered, it's so cold!" " ?

Step 7 complain

My husband is silent, and I chatter endlessly. It takes him a long time to respond to a word or two.

So I often complain about him: you don't love me at all, you only marry me to carry on the family line!

Yesterday, I complained again I just said half a sentence: you don't love me at all. . .

I only heard my husband say: can I marry you just for inheritance and substitution? How nice it is to marry a mute!

Me. . .

Step 8 eat food

I quarreled with my husband and knew I was wrong. After work, I bought his favorite braised trotters and went back to coax him.

I don't want my husband to say no proudly. I was angry, too. Don't forget! In a rage, I threw the braised pig's trotters into the trash can and ran back to my room to sleep.

After a while, worried that he would be hungry, I quietly pushed open the door and found him squatting in front of the trash can, eating with relish!

9.slippers

Yesterday, my wife came home and handed me a new pair of slippers. I tried it on. They're nice and light.

I asked her why she did not buy herself a pair. She said that her old pair was still wearable.

I am very touched. After eating, I quickly cook, wash dishes, mop the floor and wash clothes. ...

Today, I saw that slipper in a women's clothing store. This is not for sale, and it will only be delivered when it costs more than 5000 yuan.

10, clothes

Shopping with my husband, I took a fancy to a dress, more than 10 thousand yuan. I tried again and again and asked the waiter calmly, "Does this style have lemon yellow color ..."

The waiter shook his head ... I asked again, "Is it black and purple ..."

The waiter shook again ... I took off my clothes and left silently. ...

The husband asked doubtfully, "Wife, when did you start to like these two colors ... This style is not obvious at first sight ..."

I shouted angrily, "Do you want me to say that I can't afford it?"

Campus Articles (10)

1, what are you afraid of?

When I was studying in Northeast China, there was only one activity in physical education class in winter, and the class place was on the lake behind the school. Every time I go to the ice, I worry that the ice will crack and tremble on it. Once I couldn't help it, so I asked the PE teacher what to do if she fell into the lake. The teacher gave me a look and said, you're not from here, are you? One meter deep water freezes to one meter and two meters deep, and tanks can pass through. What are you afraid of?

Step 2 sign up for employment

When I was at school, I looked at my girlfriends and friends around me and talked about the object. I was envious all day! So one day, I was bored in class, so I wrote in my notebook: The old god made me a boyfriend! Sincerity is the spirit. I forgot to put my notebook on the table when I went out after class. Back to the classroom, I found my notebook on the podium, with the names of two-thirds of the boys in the class signed on it! ! Sign up for the first hero XXX, sign up for the second male XX, and sign up for the third male XXX. ...

Step 3 accept the reward

The primary school sports meeting came first. I stood on the platform and received a box of stationery. I found a lipstick in it, so I twisted it to wipe my mouth. At that time, the awards were still being presented, and suddenly the audience was silent, and then there was a burst of laughter that made the gods cry. The awarding teacher said flatly, classmate, this is a glue stick ... I was so scared that I stood on the podium and wanted to open my mouth, but I let out a crunchy bo!

4.umbrella

Being late for class was punished for running laps in the playground. Unexpectedly, it began to rain, so the girls had to run in the rain.

A boy came up to her with an umbrella, ran after her and moved the umbrella to the girl's head.

The girl recognized that the boy looked at her for a long time, and her face turned red in an instant. She whispered shyly, "Sorry, I have a boyfriend ..."

The boy looked down thoughtfully and said to the girl affectionately, "Do you want it? This umbrella is ten yuan. ...

5. canteen

At that time, in college, my father came to see me at school and went to the cafeteria for dinner at noon.

My dad is anxious to swipe his card after ordering food. "Why are the two vegetarian dishes I ordered so expensive?"

The aunt in the canteen said, "The minced pork beans you want are meat dishes." My dad glanced at the minced meat on the plate and said, "Are you talking about fried leeks with shrimp skin or seafood?"

Aunt restaurant ...

Step 6 check

There is an exam in our school. A boy sat in the last row and received an answer from a classmate. He was very excited and set off at once.

Just as I was about to copy, I looked up and saw the invigilator coming towards him with a smile. Obviously, I saw it.

This is my friend's later behavior, which has become a classic of our whole grade: he straightened up and looked directly at the teacher, then put the answer sheet on his nose and punched hard, and then threw a parabola-the garbage basket behind the entrance.

The teacher glared at him several times, but finally he didn't have the courage to pick up the evidence.

7. English

A junior high school student's English is very poor. When he is in a good state, he will count 28 out of 26 English words.

I didn't understand, so I asked why. He said he used his hand to index.

When I saw him recite W, his fingers followed the sound of "da, no, slip". . .

The final result is 28!

8. becoming a monk

Me: I confessed to my female classmate on WeChat today, and her reply was ellipsis. What does this mean?

Roommate: These six points are hidden to you. Stop confessing and become a monk!

9. No money

In the geometry exam this morning, the classmate next to me forgot to bring a ruler and replaced it with a meal card. The invigilator saw it and said, "Are you broke?" Huh? Don't you have money? "

The invigilator came back and found that he had changed his meal card into a bank card. . .

10, graduation

After graduating from college, I went to the railway station to see my roommate off.

Me: I won't buy you oranges.

Roommate: Hello, they all went to buy me oranges, trying to take advantage of me.

Me: You don't need to prove anything to buy oranges, because I am your father.

Children's products (10)

1, damn it

Mother asked her five-year-old child, "What's the number you hate the most?"

The child replied: "3."

Mom: "Why?"

Child: "because my mother always says to me,' I count to three and you die.'" " "

Step 2 have salt

There was no salt at home, so I gave my son five yuan and said, go to the newly opened shop downstairs and see if there is any salt.

Then he left happily with the money, and came back after a while, eating and saying, Mom, there is salt in the shop. . .

3. Thank you

Yesterday, I bought several sets of math tutoring materials for my little nephew who just entered junior high school online.

I just got a call from my nephew and said, "I have received the counseling materials. Thank you, uncle. I wish you a single life forever and can't find a girlfriend. "

Step 4 plagiarize

When my son was in the first grade, the teacher called and said that his son's composition was suspected of plagiarism.

After school, I took out my son's composition book and looked through it. I saw an article. My son wrote the first sentence: I remember when I was in the third grade. . .

5. Home visits

When my son came home from school, he seriously asked his mother, "Mom, the head teacher is coming to see me these days. What are you going to say about me? "

Mother asked, "What do you want me to say?"

The son laughed and said, "Just say that I finish my homework voluntarily, strive to do housework, respect the old and love the young, and help others. . . "

Hearing this, my mother couldn't help laughing: "There are also some shortcomings?"

The son nodded and said, "You can criticize me for learning while eating, and my bad habits will not change after repeated education;" You can also criticize me for rubbing my parents' backs in a rough way, sometimes light and sometimes heavy. . . "

6, check

My daughter in kindergarten asked me to check after she finished her homework. I found one of her calculation problems wrong.

I reminded her: How can this 6+7 wait for 8? Please do it again.

Later, my daughter showed me her exercise book, and the topic has been changed to 6+2=8.

7, uncomfortable

In the morning, my niece said that she was not feeling well and didn't want to go to kindergarten. My mother asked her what was wrong. My little niece said weakly, I have a headache all over. . .

This reason directly made me laugh: what number are you?

My little niece pursed her lips and held out her fingers: headache, forehead headache, nose pain, tongue pain, finger pain and toe pain. . .

I'll go! !

8, stingy

Today, I took my nephew to the supermarket and met a beautiful woman. He went over and asked, Sister, you are so beautiful! Do you have a boyfriend?

The beauty smiled and said: Not yet! Why are you so cute?

My nephew pointed at me, and I think the child is quite considerate of me.

Unexpectedly, Xiong Haizi said that my uncle doesn't have a girlfriend either. But don't look for him like this, it's too picky! Don't even buy me ice cream!

Holy shit. . .

9. Praise me

When I sent my daughter to school in the morning, I teased her and told her that I was the most handsome.

My daughter gave me a white look and said nothing. I threatened her: "I won't allow you to go home for dinner at noon unless you praise me for being handsome!" " "

After school at noon, my daughter called her daughter-in-law: "Mom, I won't go back for dinner! My father asked a beautiful woman to praise her handsome this morning. I gave him a white look and he got angry. I was not allowed to go home for dinner! "

10, delicious

Ground beef cooked by myself in the evening.

I asked my wife if it was delicious. My wife said it was delicious!

I also replied obsequiously, what you fried is really delicious.

The son kept playing "tut-tut": at best, this is called mutual appreciation; At worst, this is called mutual flattery.

My wife and I looked at each other and put down our chopsticks. . .

Animals (10)

1, parrot

Aunt Li gave my mother a parrot. On this day, my father rummaged through my mother's pockets at home to find some pocket money. When I saw my mother coming back from shopping, I shouted to my father: Mom is back! Dad pretends to tidy the room at once! From then on, every time my father rummaged through my mother's pocket, the parrot would shout: My mother is back! Until one day, my father ignored the parrot and was still rummaging through his pockets. Mom really came back!

2. Xiao Qiang

Xiao Qiang occasionally goes to the kitchen. I once saw him shot. Recently, my mother read that killing cockroaches will shoot eggs and hatch into small cockroaches. So there was an order to arrest the live ones and put them in plastic bags to kill them. This request is a bit difficult. It is difficult for my father and I to carry it out. Every time we either beat ourselves to death or beat ourselves to death and ran away. I was scolded by my mother several times, and now my father sees Xiao Qiang in this tone: Get out! Let's go before my wife sees it.

Step 3 play with monkeys

I came home from dinner with my friends last night, and I met a monkey-juggler on the way. While we were teasing the monkey, the idiot friend took out a garlic from his pocket and gave it to the monkey ... The monkey took the garlic from his hand and put it in his mouth, scratching his head. Just as we were laughing, the monkey jumped up and slapped my stupid friend … a slap. I clearly remember that all the onlookers were angry with Nima! Don't touch me, let me laugh again! ! ! !

4.hamster

Buy hamsters at the flower and bird market. If you want to test the character of a rat dealer, you pretend you don't understand and ask, "Can two hamsters be kept in a cage?"

The rat vendor said sincerely, "No, two people will fight in a cage." heart

I'm thinking of meeting a man with a conscience! The mouse seller added, "Why don't you buy three, so that when those two fight, someone will stop them."

5, looking for care

Once upon a time, there was a crow with a delicious piece of meat in its mouth. A passing fox saw it and said to it, beautiful crow, your singing must be beautiful. May I listen to it? Hearing this, the crow opened his mouth and sang proudly. The fox bent down to pick it up at once. At this time, a tiger came out of the grass and said, well, it can't be complete without a tow!

Step 6 take it wrong

There are two flies playing badminton, and a fly suddenly falls to the ground. Another fly came forward and asked, "What's the matter, man?"

The fly replied, "I made a mistake and took it as an electric fly."

7. Western food

Mosquito armour complains: "I eat the same thing every day, and I have no appetite!" " "

Mosquito B replied, "Let's have a change tonight. I am staring at a foreigner. Let's eat western food tonight! " "

8. Teeth (plural of tooth)

Tigers don't pay attention to hygiene and don't brush their teeth after eating, which leads to abalone teeth.

The leopard laughed when he saw it.

The tiger touched the teeth in his mouth and said, "Don't laugh, dead leopard, you will grow teeth if you don't brush your teeth!" " "

The leopard said, "I am a leopard." I am not afraid of teething, but I am afraid of teething. "

9.change

A rabbit came to the cafe and asked for a piece of sweet bread and a cup of coffee. It puts bread and coffee on the table, and then washes its hands. When it came back, the coffee was gone.

"Who drank my coffee?" Asked the rabbit.

No one answered. So the rabbit raised his voice and asked again, with anger in his tone: "Who drank my coffee?"

Suddenly, a black bear stood up and said confidently, "It's me!" " "

"Why don't you eat bread?" The rabbit said with a grin.

10, come on

Mother snail crawled on the road with her baby snail on her back and finally reached her destination, but the bus that started with them was late.

The little snail felt very strange and asked, "Mom, why is the car not as fast as ours?"

Mother snail replied, "Son, we don't have to wait in line for gas."

SMS (10)

1, out of the circle

Chickens are used to lay eggs, cows do what they have to do, cats go door to door, sheep are baked in the future, and dogs are used for people. Just wait for the circle.

2. Weekend

At the end of the weekend, I solemnly tell you: sleepy, lean on the sofa, be happy, smile, forget your troubles, be depressed, enlighten me, miss me, invite me to eat sweet cakes, don't reply to text messages, and trip over by ants when you go out!

3. As the saying goes

As the saying goes: more lice don't itch. According to this reasoning, you won't think that there are too many flies, too many frogs, too noisy, too hot, too many mosquitoes, too itchy, too sweaty, too dirty, and too many cicadas, too noisy. Look, what an inspirational season summer is! Honey, exercise more, don't turn on the air conditioner and hang mosquito nets!

4.mosquitoes

Summer is here to remind you that being bitten by mosquitoes is a happy thing, at least to prove that you were not forgotten when you gave out red envelopes; You can get close to natural creatures at zero distance when you sleep; Kiss (mosquitoes) at any time; More flesh and blood has inherited your blood; Enjoy the romance of intimate whispers; Can cultivate one's self-cultivation, itch. General friendship, I really don't tell him! Haha ~

Step 5 invent

The invention of the car is to let me catch up with you quickly, the invention of the clock is to let me have you every minute, and the invention of the mobile phone is to let me tell you that I miss you anytime and anywhere.

6. Holiday

No matter how high the sky is, how deep the sea is, how hard the steel is, how strong the wind is, how long the feet are, how wide the river is, how strong the wine is, how cold the ice is and how hot the fire is … I just want to tell you that these are none of your business, as long as you have a happy holiday!

7. Destiny's relationship

I like smoking, and you like convulsions; I like spending money, and you like making money; I like watching jokes, and you like joking; Never mind our relationship, just send the message to the right person.

8. Change the number

The main purpose of holding this meeting today is to announce: in the future, we should focus on doing practical things, do not engage in popular projects, do not brag, and base ourselves on society and serve the people! Ok, finally, I announce an important news: I changed my mobile phone number. Here it is. Please remember to contact me later! The meeting is over!

9. News

An inhuman news, an extinct news, a desperate news, a heartbroken news, a deeply grieved news, a sad news, a crying news, a heartbreaking news, a sobbing news, a sobbing news, a depressed news, a news that life is worse than death.

10, lucky

Send you 70 happiness, 80 happiness, 100 perfect, add up these numbers, it is your lucky number!

Workplace Articles (10)

1, not bad

Our company is a good company! Although I get off work late, I go to work early! Although we have less rest, we are more on duty! Although we are very cold in winter, we are very hot in summer! Although we had a holiday late, we started early! Although our salary is low, we work a lot! This is what you are looking for when you are looking for a job! Take the least money, take more classes and take fewer vacations!

2. Brave deeds

In a small company, there are only 15 people. But the atmosphere is very harmonious. Bosses and employees, like friends, often sing and eat. One day, because the company's capital turnover was not enough, the boss told everyone sadly that he was going to break up. As a result, MM at the front desk was unhappy, saying that it was the happiest place for her to stay. Then, she called her father and bought the company. ...

3. Not here

Xiao Wang works in the personnel department on 10 floor and was transferred to the administration department on the 9th floor a month ago.

One day, Xiao Wang called the personnel department on the 10 floor to find him: "Is Xiao Wang there?" The colleague who answered the phone said, "Xiao Wang is no longer in the personnel."

Xiao Wang: "Ah ~ ah! When did this happen? Why don't I know? I haven't had time to see him off. Hey! "

"Never mind, you can find him below!"

4. Fate

A company often works overtime, and then someone dies suddenly. Later, a sister came and took that seat, and no one told her about her sudden death.

One night, after working overtime, my sister couldn't write a piece of code, so she asked her boyfriend to help her write it remotely, and then she went to eat.

Then when the product manager passed by her seat, he took a look at her computer and found that the computer was automatically writing code line by line.

The next day, the product manager resigned …

5. Accidents

Today, my boss called me into the office to report my work, praised my recent work and prepared to give me a raise. As a result, when I got excited, I ran into the door when I went out! Tears come down as soon as my nose is sour. ...

Then I went back to my seat to wipe my tears, which attracted many colleagues to watch and asked me what was wrong. What did the boss do to you?

I always said nothing, nothing ... then the boss walked out of the office and announced a raise for me. ...

Step 6 have a meeting

Yesterday, the company held a general meeting of all employees, and the chairman spoke, saying that the performance of this month has fallen sharply. . . Then the more you talk, the more angry you get! Finally, take a sip of water to have a rest and let our manager talk!

Everyone kept their heads down for fear of being caught by the manager!

In a dignified atmosphere, who knows that the manager coughed gently and said: Today is a hot summer. Everyone goes to the purchasing department to get a watermelon after work. The weather is hot, everyone should pay attention to running business to escape the heat!

Silence for a few seconds, applause! !

7. Different

After lunch, the boss happily returned to the office and told the employees some jokes he heard outside.

All the employees burst into laughter except one female employee.

The boss said to the salesgirl, "What's the matter? Don't you have any sense of humor? "

The salesgirl replied, "I don't have to laugh!" " I'm leaving next week anyway. "

8. Meet by chance

I happened to meet the boss when I took the elevator to the company early in the morning, just the two of us.

The seriousness of the boss makes me nervous as hell.

The boss said to help him press the ninth floor, but I pressed the 10 floor, and suddenly I was forced to reach out and press the "-1" floor.

Finally, the boss shook his head when he got out of the elevator, and vaguely heard him mutter: "How did the personnel department recruit such an idiot?"

9. That was a close call.

After work, the boss said with a gloomy face, someone reported that you were playing mobile phone during work hours. What did you say?/Sorry?

I was so angry at once that I said angrily, I'll go! Who reported it? You can confront me face to face, but I want to see which eye he sees me playing with my mobile phone. !

The boss immediately changed his face: haha, no one reported it, just teasing you!

My mood is calm again! My boss almost tricked me into playing mobile phone at work.

10, master

Assistant: "Boss, the production manager just gave feedback. Recently, the weather is hot, and engineers in the engineering department seldom go to the workshop, which leads to many problems that cannot be solved well in the first time. Shall I knock? "

Boss: "No, it's useless for me to knock?"

Assistant: "Does the boss have a better idea?"

Boss: "You call the electrician to turn off all the air conditioners in the office, just say that the circuit is out of order!" " "

Assistant: "This? ..... Boss, you are so tall! "

Festival Articles (10)

1, who are you looking for?

On the first day of work after the new year, my wife complained in the morning: my son can't find clothes to find me, my daughter can't find clothes to find me, and you can't find clothes to find me. Who am I looking for?

Me: Don't you dare to find clothes. . .

Step 2 drink

During the Spring Festival, I visited a relative's house and was advised to drink. I have no choice but to say that I have something to do later and I can't drink while driving. When I was leaving, my relatives looked at me with a slightly dignified expression pushing my bike.

Step 3: Hold on.

In 278 BC, Qu Yuan, a doctor of the State of Chu, bought the state-owned shares and emerging industrial shares of the State of Chu with four times leverage, thus taking over the country.

As a result, due to the reduction of Chu Huaiwang, the actual controller, the market continued to fall and it was impossible to force the liquidation.

Qu Fuzi was so desperate after hearing the news that he threw himself into the river.

In order to alert future generations, people wrap red pork with green zongzi leaves, and then tie it up with a rope, that is, tie it up.

4. excellent

I don't brag, Dragon Boat Festival, to thank friends and relatives for their support. There will be a prize-winning question-and-answer session, and friends who answer the questions correctly will definitely get prizes (the prizes will be provided by themselves).

First prize: an Audi A6L.

Second prize: 200,000 cash

Third prize: a diamond necklace

Fourth prize: iPhone 7 plus 256GB.

There are not many questions answered, just a few numbers.

What is the lottery number of the next two-color ball?

( )( )( )( )( )( ) + ( )

Please pay 2 yuan for the wrong answer. This question is valid for a long time!

5. disgusting

When I sent Wuren moon cakes to the goddess in the Mid-Autumn Festival, she didn't care. "It's okay to look at five things separately, but why do they make people feel sick together?"

Sensing my embarrassment, she quickly added, "Don't get me wrong, I don't think your mooncakes are too much. I like eating five kernels very much. "

I was just about to relax when I heard her say, "I'm talking about your five senses."

6. the enemy

I have an enemy. Last year, I gave him a box of moon cakes from the year before last.

Then he found out. I gave him another box this year. I promise it's not from last year.

So he believed again. After eating, he felt something was wrong and called me to ask if it was last year's moon cake.

I said, "It was the year before last."

7. No wonder

A colleague said that he has diarrhea on time from August 15 every year, and he has diarrhea for several days, and he has a lot of diarrhea.

Everyone was very surprised. Later, another colleague personally held a meeting with him on August 15, only to find that he likes to cut the moon cakes when eating them, and then tear off the deoxidizer and desiccant attached to them and sprinkle them on them. ...

Eight or five people

I asked the foreigner: How long have you been in China?

The foreigner said: less than a year.

Me: Then I have to spend the Mid-Autumn Festival here this year.

The foreigner said: mm-hmm.

I teased him and said, I'll give you a box of moon cakes, Wuren. Okay？

The foreigner smiled and said, Hehehe, do you think I am a pig? Five people? I can only eat three people at most.

9. Add a blockage

My mother said: Eleven, why don't you go out to play?

Me: Isn't it going to rain? Besides, the city is full of foreign tourists, which aggravates our congestion.

Mom: Then go out and make trouble for others. What is it to stay at home and make things difficult for us?

10, envy

During the national holiday, my colleagues asked me where to play.

I said, return to nature, find a farmhouse, enjoy fresh air and simple folk customs, and experience the original ecological life at sunrise and sunset!

Colleagues listened with envy. . .

I won't tell him that I'm going back to my hometown to collect a few acres of peanuts. . .

The above are all kinds of jokes that I have carefully arranged myself. The quality is absolutely ok. I hope I can bring you some fun. It took me 2 hours to organize, so I like collecting and support collecting. I really don't want to talk about it. I want to relax my eyes.