What is an animal that laughs to death?

Send you 12 Zodiac. I wish you smart as a mouse, strong as an ox, bold as a tiger, cute as a rabbit, confident as a dragon, charming as a snake, romantic as a horse, gentle as a sheep, naughty as a monkey, beautiful as a chicken, loyal as a dog and looks like a pig!

First, the inside story of the election:

Mouse: I sent a lot of money.

Niu: Niu, the king of animals, is my father.

Tiger: I won the third place because my father retired.

Rabbit: My elder sister-in-law is the beauty of the Moon Palace, Chang 'e.

Dragon: I'm surprised to say it. The four dragon kings are all my own uncles.

Snake: Everyone knows that the Dragon King is my private father.

M: I can only kiss up, but I can't kiss up.

Sheep: I ate grass and milked it.

Monkey: If I am not elected, I will make trouble in heaven.

Chicken: The hero is sad about beauty, not to mention that I am a beautiful "chicken".

Dog: I only wag my tail meekly to my superiors.

Pig: I will not pose a threat to any leader.

Second, how to die:

Mouse: Everyone shouted and beat, but no one really beat, so he died happily.

Niu: I reported my grades, and I was forced to go on stage and was blown to death.

Tiger: Democracy thrives, for fear of losing the election, and dies of depression.

Rabbit: The sly rabbit has three caves, which are full of charm, so he ran away and died.

Dragon: donkey meat on the ground, dragon meat in the sky, die without regret.

Snake: Snakes will never die. It will swallow the elephant and die on its stomach.

Horse: A thousand miles of famous colts, Bole didn't know, and he died in anger.

Sheep: Eat grass and milk more than cows, and be jealous to death.

Monkey: Tongzu, swallowing monkey brain, it hurts to death.

Chicken: It's none of my business to be a prostitute openly and secretly. I died of injustice.

Dog: Have no worries about food and clothing, have fun with others, and be spoiled and die.

Pig: Eat meat and wear skin, be scolded silly, and die in a rage.

Third, nominate successors:

Mouse: As long as it's not a cat, anyone will do.

Cattle: Snails are most suitable, but rhinos are not ideal.

Tiger: The lion is too arrogant and the wolf is more docile.

Rabbit: The long-distance running champion tortoise, of course.

Dragon: I'm retiring. I raise my hands to choose Ms. Feng.

Snake: earthworm, but I declare that it is by no means my illegitimate child.

My Mr. Donkey and I both voted for mules.

Sheep: I am willing to obey God's arrangement.

Monkey: Baboons, orangutans, apes, whatever.

Chicken: Show off your ass with pride. Sparrows are small and complete.

Dog: I choose my brother dog.

Pig: Anyone can get food.

12 The zodiac is going to cross the sea, and the dragon is a dragon boat, but he asks every zodiac to tell a joke before boarding. If all the other 10 zodiac animals are laughing, you can only get on the dragon boat, or you will be thrown into the sea. The first one started with the cow, and everyone laughed, but the dragon found that the pig didn't laugh, so everyone threw the cow into the sea, and then the chicken said something. The pig smiled and said, "The joke that Niu just told was so funny that it killed me."

Mouse: It took a lot of effort, but it failed to destroy or reduce its population. On the contrary, it has expanded. The mouse, the first of the zodiac, is also the first of the four evils.

Niu: Maybe life is too easy. Maybe people are mad because they are not satisfied with slaughter and food. Humans define this "rich disease" as mad cow ice. Well, cow, it seems that it will not be as "grovelling" as before.

Tiger: It's on the verge of extinction, because "scarcity is precious"! The so-called series of tonics such as tiger whip and tiger bone are very popular. What does Tiger think of counterfeiting?

Rabbit: Maybe it's because I've been with Sister Chang 'e for too long! Hobbies and amateur sports can only become digging holes, so there will be the theorem of "three caves of cunning rabbits" in the future!

Dragon: What exactly does the legendary sacred object look like? What else can you bring us besides sex?

Snake: Will there be touching stories of love, friendship and affection after the reincarnation of the white snake and the green snake?

Ma: Without Wan Li galloping on the battlefield, we can only eat grass in the trough or go out to pull rickshaws. At most, we will be whipped and driven away by human beings in a palm-sized place to compete for a meaningless first place.

Sheep: the process of evolution has made a large part more docile, while a small part looks noble and lofty. However, greed has never let go of the due evolutionary results, and desire has slaughtered these noble and noble sheep at will. Hey, for that damn cashmere!

Monkey: A monkey without a tight hoop really seems to have no Buddha nature. It only knows how to have fun every day and be a carefree monkey king. Even though he was locked in a zoo cage that looked like a gossip stove, he forgot the rebellious spirit that caused havoc in heaven, and he was still complacent. Oh, my God.

Chicken: Why do poultry that lay eggs and produce meat become synonymous with prostitutes? Oh! Sad!

Dog: the sharp canine teeth and the prestige when watching the house are gone. They will only cover their fur with an indescribable wool fabric, and learn to act like cats and jump behind others to win the favor of human beings.

Pig: Don't fatten yourself up, or you'll really be doomed!

Standard Husband (Zodiac Edition)

Mouse: When you are too crazy, you should shrink back and tremble like a mouse is afraid of cats, and don't say a word.

Cow: Take on the livelihood of the whole family, work hard like a cow, and dare not be lazy.

Tiger: I have to work overtime in the dormitory at night, and I have to shout in the mountains. I can't slack off or be weak.

Rabbit: My wife told me that if I had a job, I would jump as fast as a rabbit, be agile and vigorous, and not neglect my tortoise steps.

Dragon: Once in a while, the golden house hides the charming. If you want to walk like a dragon, you can't leave anything.

Snake: Go home late at night. Don't pretend to be a snake, hide in the room, and don't disturb your dreams.

Horse: accompany people to fight hard in the street, carry them like horses, bear the burden of humiliation and spare no effort.

Sheep: I usually live at home and behave like a sheep. I am docile and obedient and don't lose my temper.

Monkey: When serving your wife's daily life, you should be as smart as a monkey, know the colors, and don't be lazy and get into trouble.

Chicken: Get up at five before dawn. Get ready for the morning shower and wait in front of the bed. Don't be afraid of cold and heat.

Dog: Take the responsibility of guarding the house and protecting the production. Shake your head and pray for the tail, welcome in and send out, and don't make any mistakes.

Pig: Don't throw away the leftovers. You should be thrifty and don't be picky about food.