Grandma's complete stories

Grandma's Story-Alarm Collection (1-1) In the first episode, there was once a grandmother who lived by the sea. One day, when she saw two people jump into the sea, she went to save one of them, but the other couldn't. Uh, uh, call 999. As soon as the phone rang, my mother-in-law asked, hello! Is it a pigeon? (My mother-in-law wants to know if it is 999. ) An errand boy's answer: What * * * wild pigeons? My mother-in-law said: some people say "high"! (Someone jumped into the sea) A policeman said, "What's the matter with you?" ? Mother-in-law added: clothes have pigeons, clothes have no pigeons! (One is saved, one is saved) The poor guy will answer: * Of course, Lucy wants a pigeon and a pigeon. Ga! Mother-in-law said: People without pigeons can crow loudly. The poor guy replied, it's not good to call you a bed! Grandma, have you ever said wild pigeons before? My mother-in-law said, Lal: I used to eat left-handed food! I used to eat fried peanuts with my left hand. Since the last time the left line was cut by the poor guy ... it disappeared in the left row, but because he was too poor ... he went to the bottom of the left training overpass ... One day, two people took their Ge dog for a walk, one was a hairy foreign dog and the other was a hairy dog ... They both met at the bottom of the overpass, and one of the dogs might be impatient and run to the left to stay away from ghosts. Finally, he didn't see the buried Tim, so these two men were sharper ... but because an old woman was training at the bottom of the overpass, she felt so annoyed that she wanted to call the police and complain ~ Old woman: Hey! ? What is the degree of mi dove dove? (999) Bad guy: It's you again, Grandma! ? You have something to do this time! Grandma: I want to vote for demolition. There are two men hoeing pigeons at the bottom of the overpass. Bad guy: It's none of your business to hoe pigeons! ? Grandma: I can't even train them! How about "hoeing under the ground" I haven't seen any pigeons (dogs). Poor guy: Yi Ya! "hoe" to even a "pigeon" is not buried! ? Grandma: it's lo~ However, I have seen two "pigeons" in Diego, one with wool and the other with wool ~ Poor guy: it's none of your business if Diego has wool. Grandma: You might as well help Diego. With two two-faced people. Bad guy: There are two "pigeons" around me, and neither one is better than grandma: OK ~ Bad guy brother, you are a good person ~ Bad guy: I am a good person! ? You think I'm being nice! ? Grandma: You are so good at sea ~ (you may be a department), so the poor guy jumped in line again. After cutting the thread, the guy went to plow Zuotian in New Territories. One day, when he plowed Zuotian, he woke up an old man who sent shirts, trousers and quilts from a nearby charity and immediately went to pick them up. In fact, a few days ago, a charity was the same as the old man, only a few hours late to become a grandmother, and there was another one in Yaoouyan. Although every charity gave O's shirt and trousers to an old woman, O's size has been sent to the sun and O's size has been given back, but the old woman was waiting for O's shirt for the winter and had to call the police for help ... Grandma: Hello? What is it, Jimmy Dove (999)? Poor guy: What are you, Grandma? Did you see O again this time? Someone decided to hoe pigeons? Grandma: There are still people playing 3 games. There are people changing shirts and quilts. ) Bad guy: What's it to you to play with people? Do you want to play? Grandma: I'm "Xi", give someone a *o left! I'm a little left! ) bad guy: o! ? Grandma, are you old and strong? ! How generous are you? ! Is it really difficult? ! Grandma: This is a stork pigeon. (It's a charity. ) bad guy: what line o, is that gay guy wearing an o-frame? Grandma: * I don't know how to get to the left of O. I don't know how to get to the left of o. ) Poor guy: What about the O-frame in the outdoor environment at home? Grandma: But everyone with O has finished typing 3, but O with O has a lot of essence. I don't want to wear O with O, but it's good. There are also people who wear O to change shirts and quilts, but the big set of O is clean. I don't want a big set of o's, but it's clean. ) Bad guy: Oh! Grandma, you have to fight a real army with people! ? How many years have you enjoyed it without grandma? ! But people can't help you tan! Grandma: What's the matter with you? Is there a place? ) Bad guy: I have hair! But my brother o doesn't know, but what does it matter to you that I have hair? Grandma: Why don't you give me the sun? Bad guy: I have condoms, but do you want the size? Grandma: I want a small size. Bad guy: Why do I have to win the lottery? Do you want it or not? Grandma: Yes! Bad brother, you are really a good man! Poor guy: Well, am I good at it? Are you Guan Po? Grandma: I come here every week. I came after I left the stadium. A man was drunk and staggered across Lebanon with a bottle of soda. A friend tried to open a bottle of wild drink in his hand, but he couldn't. He tried to pry open a bottle cap with a neck chain, but found that all the bottles were broken, so he kicked off a lid in a rage and sprayed D soda. An old woman was so angry that she went to the police again. Grandma: "Hello? What's the temperature of the dove? " What system is 999? ) Poor guy: "Grandma, do you want to order it again this time?" Grandma: "there is a man named chicken!" A man pried open the lid. ) Poor guy: "It's normal for a man to crow a chicken. Grandma: But being a chicken is not "westernized" at all! " (But it's covered. ) Poor guy: "Don't hang up? Well, chicken is a shemale? Grandma: "He is not tall enough, he ruined Alin! (Grandma wants to talk to a man who can't completely smash the left neck necklace) Poor guy: "Wow, many friends have broadcast violence live. Although the shemale kept her from having an orgasm, breast augmentation surgery was very expensive, and thousands of mosquitoes were used to hit Alin's head. "Grandma:" After kicking a chicken, it got stuck, and D high water flew out and sprayed me! (Yapo said that a friend kicked a lid and was sprayed with D soda. ) Poor guy: "Is a chicken so hurt?" Did you wash that white car? Grandma: "I want to bury someone, so I know he wants to bury me!" " Yi Jia went from ghost to ghost. "(Actually, grandma said that a man used a dirty word" * ". ) poor guy: "wow, this simple value is scum, grandma hasn't put it down yet, good!" I'll send a gang to catch him right away! "-.So she lives at the bottom of the overpass. But the economy is much worse, and Zuo Ren lives at the bottom of the bridge. Two new tenants came today, one is autistic and the other is rude. She will kick us when she sees us ... Grandma was surprised by what happened, so she called the police again ... Grandma: Hey, it's the cuckoo. What is the degree of Mi 999? ) P: Grandma, it's you again. You're running wild. What happened this time? Grandma: There was a boy masturbating there! There is an autistic boy! ) P: Grandma, how lucky are you? D wild every day, masturbation is none of your business? Grandma: It's a tenacious dog. Do it! In fact, the dog is under the thief! ) p: is it difficult to masturbate? Is it harder? Grandma: There is a man with thick fruit! There is a man with such a bad temper! ) P: Granny, did the Zhuang people break the law? It's not good to be a Zhuang, I'll take it all off with you. Grandma: the fruit is thick and there are buds all around! Good temper, kicking around! ) p: why don't you stay at home? Grandma: I really want oral sex! I really want help! ) P: Grandma, you are a slut. She was a slut in her twenties! Grandma: Can you teach me? Can you help me? ) p: I can't teach you? You can ask the next place! Grandma: I am surprised! Shoot me in the face! I am surprised! Kick my face! ) P: You said you were in your twenties, and you couldn't live without begging him! Grandma: I really want to do it quickly. I really want to go quickly! ) p: well, enjoy yourself! In the sixth episode, it seems that I am alone for grandma. In fact, she has a relative of her brother-in-law, but SARS has been raging recently. Even my grandmother's brother-in-law won the o-left trick. In recent years, O- Zuo's unique skill was really a narrow escape, but my grandmother knew that O- Zuo's brother-in-law was dying and was still alive to see her for the last time. What is it, Jimmy Dove (999)? Bad guy: Have you always been a grandmother? What happened this time? Grandma: I want to iron my underwear. I want to blow my sister-in-law. Bad guy: Do you want to press your underwear slowly? It's none of my business. ! Grandma: I play at home. I still have time at home. ) Poor guy: Do you know that your underwear should be easy to crush except O? Grandma: Poor brother, can you help me play? I wear gap "western" underwear at home, but when I play at home, it's sweet, smelly at home and easy to stuff. Brother, can you help me? The most important thing in my family is my sister-in-law, but I got SARS at home and all my family died. It's really sad. ) Poor guy: Is the gap in underwear a good mark on your block? ! But I'm not interested in your "western" music, not to mention the smelly "western" music, and I can't play it! Grandma: My home is Xixian, please hurry. My family is going to shout, please get through it quickly. )-.So we have to live in the public rental housing unit of the Ministry of Public Assistance O, because there is a new young woman in the opposite unit O today. A young woman buried about a dozen or twenty friends for her birthday. When D cakes were placed randomly, we avoided it ~ playing in the sun in class ~ burying a cold roll to play, and avoiding it if we were not careful. There is a female classmate without fir playing with pigeons opposite my house! (Hey ~999? There is a young girl and a classmate playing cake opposite my house! ) bad guy: it's you again, grandma? It's none of your business to have fun with others. Grandma: he played until a cold rolled out, and a male O shot wildly, leaving me and standing still. Poor guy: He's playing crazy! ? Tell me a situation. Can I help you? Grandma: IKEA has made a lot of cold rolls. Go find Li Fen! There is a twist O called D, and I don't have the strength to play it. It hurts, I still hold the buried clitoris and stand still ~! (IKEA has launched a lot of cakes. Go ~! There was a man named D, a young woman, so hard and painful that everyone stood up when she was buried to play. ) Poor guy: Is it true, Grandma? The clitoris is standing? Grandma: Really! D, pigeon, clock, o, clitoris, o, everyone is here! Playing dove O will produce "lam" and D dove! Wei Ge, Zhong, Feng, Li, Feng, this is a mouth problem! (Really! D-cake, Zhong O department has already played O, and people have arrived! If you play enough o, you will have a "lam" fruit d cake! The cake was given to Lily, and it was tied into a roll. ) Poor guy: You left as a "mountain". Luo Po: Oh, no! I'm on the left of the mountain, I'm on the left, I'm on the left, I'm on the right, I'm playing with you. (Oh, come on! I left the entrance of the mountain, and the D cake fell. I went to the door screaming and asked me to play with me. If you are in pain, I saved you! ) bad: don't drive * scold me ~ at most, I will send someone from IKEA to help you. Ok ~ you wait. Grandma: I hit you ~ remember to clean it up ~ (yes, when you are saved ~ remember to clean it up ~) After a phone call with grandma, That "Du ... Du (surname) ..." Du A left the .............................................................................................................................. police again: Granny, this time it's a wilderness. Grandma: Snake, my pigeon (dog) doesn't know about depression. Policeman: Wow! Grandma, I didn't even know you had a pigeon! ? Grandma: Yes, my pigeon has been with me for 10 years. I don't know what to do, but my family doesn't know how to be depressed. Snake, please help her. Policeman: Grandma, do you usually play with your pigeons? Grandma: No, I played well with him. I buried a policeman every day when I was flying. No wonder you masturbate every day. Grandma: I can't get up after playing so much. Grandma gives the dog artificial respiration. ) policeman: alas ... forget it, grandma, you will die if you don't blow it. Grandma: Next? My pigeon (dog) is dead! ? Will I use pigeons (dogs) in the future? -It rained heavily in the morning ... Grandma wants to buy an umbrella, because she has an umbrella and there is a stall where she can buy an umbrella. Originally, each umbrella cost ten yuan, but the old lady raised the price of the D umbrella, so she quarreled with the old lady and called 999 when she got out of the fire ... Grandma: Hey! ? Is it a pigeon? (999) Ah Sir: Grandma ... You're doing it again? Grandma: Yes ... I want you to entertain pigeons ... Ah, sir: Is the host pigeon here? I want to buy the essence this time, but it's the price of old Seedorf's D essence ... (I want to buy an umbrella today, but I want to raise the price of D umbrella) Mr.: Next! ? Cooking needs essence D. Grandma: steaming pills is more important. Sir: grandma ... you are such a gourmet ... grandma: ah, sir, do you have any essence? (Ah sir, um, you have an umbrella) Ah sir: Of course I do ... Ah grandma: I'm better than me ... I'm so naive ... (Worse than me, I'm so miserable) Ah sir: I'm better than you? Grandma: You Hai, you stink in the street. After filming, you have to hurry up (Li, drive you to the street and eat in a restaurant). Sir: Next! ? Point to go? Grandma: You can walk around a little and then walk for ten minutes (you can walk for ten minutes by ferry). Sir: OK! I'll go for a while. Grandma: You are such a slut (you are such a good person). Sir: I am a slut. Grandma: You are so embarrassed. Sir:! @#! #%%^$&； -I'm a farmer and shit! My neighbor has SARS! ) Policeman: It's none of my business, you empty piece of shit! Grandma: This is not a dirty towel! (He doesn't see doctors much) A? What an asshole! What a stupid plane! ) Marrying a plane may take a shit again! Policeman: You'll get shit if you jerk off! Grandma: Hey, dump a bag of babies! Policeman: A pack of what? Grandma: orange (miserable) policeman: crazy marriage! Tangent! -Xiao Ming shouted with fear. Jin Lu: The Wolf Brigade heard Xiaoming's screams, so Quan Jin Lu: The Wolf Brigade chased Xiaoming halfway. Xiaoming sent three dogs out to ask how a dog could defeat all Jin Lu: Wolf Brigade, so a dog was killed. After that, D Jin Roh: Wolf Brigade continues to hunt down Xiao Ming! Xiao Ming turned left into the back alley and found that there was no way out. D Jinlu: The Wolf Brigade surrounded Xiao Ming. Fortunately, Xiao Ming picked up the machine gun, so Xiao Ming shot Wei Jinlu: Wolf Brigade! Xiaoming picked up the bodies of several wolves that were shot! Xiao Ming said: [Haha! Take some gold. Roh: Wolves eat first] Grandma saw the whole process, so Grandma immediately called the police and sent someone: [Hello ~] Grandma: [Hello? What is it, Miku Ku (999)? Policeman: [baa, call pigeons, pigeons ~] Grandma: [Xiaoming was chased by a lot of scrotum just now (Jin Luo: Wolf Brigade) Policeman: [What! Scrotum knows how to kill. Grandma: [After chasing, Xiao Zhongming sent a pigeon (dog) to help! Poor man: [Wow! Pigeons must hit the scrotum very hard! Granny: [But a pigeon (dog) is enough to hit the scrotum (Jin Luo: Wolf Brigade)! ] Sent: [Rude 両両両両両両両両両両両両両両両𰵁𰵁𰵁𰵁𰵁𰵁𰵁200001 Grandma: [Yes! Xiao Ming took the middle left into the back alley, but found that there was no way to escape, so D Scrotum (Golden Roh: Wolf Brigade) surrounded Xiao Ming! Policeman: Xiaoming must be dead! Grandma: [Fortunately, Xiao Ming picked up the machine gun, so Xiao Ming hit D scrotum with one shot and D blood bounced in my face! 】 hair: [many wild! ? Grandma: [Xiaoming Chong wants to take D home to eat! 】 Send: 【 Eat the scrotum, it's from the Mi people! ? Grandma: [Hurry up and clean up the scene, D Scrotum (Golden Roh: Wolf Brigade) is dead, so disgusting! Policeman: well, the doros died together! Grandma: [Luo people, only scrotum (Jin Luo: Wolf Brigade)! Policeman: Do Rorty people only know how to fly with one scrotum? Grandma: [A scrotum (Jin Luo: Wolf Brigade) has hands and feet and looks like a pigeon (dog) baa! ] Send: [Nine, no, eight! One day, Mr. A's trip had to pass by the neighborhood of Mrs. A's business, and he stopped by the crossbar. He went up to explore, followed, went to Mrs. A's home business, rang the doorbell, and Mrs. A opened the door and saw him, followed ... Poor guy: Mrs. A, do you remember? Grandma: Sir (Sir, Sir). Poor guy: Grandma ..................... opened the door to let her in, Mr. Keke sat on the left, and Grandma Mi went to make tea for her. Grandma: Have tea, sir. D is a fine tea rack, specially made for twisting. (Have tea, sir. D is a tea rack, which is fried by Fujian people. Good drink is good for the rack! ) Poor guy: Wow! Well, you have everything. (Mr. Wang is afraid to drink, so he puts down the cup of tea left in his hand) Grandma: Sir, how hard is it for you to raise wild animals? ! Bad guy: You know my strength! Grandma: Yes, can you let me play? Bad man's heart: OK? It's true that someone helped me masturbate, but grandma is too bad. Close your eyes and fantasize about D beautiful girls first! Poor guy: Grandma, I will satisfy you and let you play! (Close your eyes while you are alive) Grandma: Wow! Ok, do you know the shooting rack? Bad guy: Very close. If you shake it, the next FING will shoot! Grandma: OK! When I try, I will feel nothing after leaving for a while, and I will help him masturbate, so that I can see the world! I know grandma is playing with a gun ... poor guy: grandma, it's not playing well ... just when grandma is shaking the gun and getting old ... shoot Zuo 'a SIR ... grandma: so powerful, so loud! Grandma, hold on, sir. I'm scared to death ... the protagonist is dead, and the story is over. ...............