Really hilarious jokes (not too disgusting)

The lady explained to the police that she was not a prostitute: I just sold condoms for two yuan to two hundred yuan, which at best was raising the price. Police: What happened next? The lady said: Teaching him how to use it is an after-sales service.

At the end of the performance, the leader came on stage and took the hand of the beautiful Mongolian actress, and kept asking her her name. The actress said excitedly: Malegebi

On the birthday party, there was only one piece of cake left, and the word birthday happened to be written on it. The boy generously picked up the knife and cut it in two, and said gently to the girl: "I am responsible for the 'day', and you are responsible for the 'birth', okay?"

Life quotes: When work and love are not what you want. When you are young, you can take out your little brother, stare at it, and meditate on the spirit it contains: it can be long or short, thick or thin, stretched or bent, soft or hard, learn it, and the difficulties in front of you are nothing!

A little kid in a kindergarten was hiding in the toilet and smoking. He was caught by the teacher. The teacher asked him why he smoked. He lowered his head and replied deeply: The motherland has not been reunified, and he feels very depressed!

The director danced with the beautiful virgin. When the dance climaxed, the director was a little excited and his lower body stood up. The virgin noticed it and asked curiously: What is that underneath you? Director: Below me is the section chief. Virgin: Although she is not a big official, she is quite tough

The female mayor and the male secretary *** went to a banquet together. While they were happy during the dinner, the secretary said: Secretary has usually been the mayor! The female mayor responded smartly: Yes, secretaries are usually born (promoted) to the mayor!

The director is looking for a secretary, and four beauties apply. Question: What is the difference between the two mouths of a woman? Woman A: One is horizontal and the other is vertical. Otome: One cent and one light. Girl B: There are teeth but no teeth. Ding Nu: One for myself and one for the director. Ding is admitted!

Some people say: smart women can inspire men, beautiful women can confuse men, talented women can attract men, women with status can play with men, women who have everything It can make a lot of men miserable!

A man and a woman were crossing a bridge. There was a tiger glaring on the bridge. The woman thought for a moment and then took off her clothes and passed. The man also took off his clothes and passed by, but was jumped by the tiger. The man is confused? Tiger said: Do you think the stick you have is Wu Song?

The teacher asked students to use "wrinkles" to make sentences. One student wrote: There are many wrinkles on my father's balls. The teacher criticized parents for not letting their children see them everywhere. The parent explained: This child has been careless since he was a child and missed writing the word "face"

Three bats went to the teahouse to drink tea together. As soon as they sat down, one of the bats said: Boss, give me a cup of "blood". Suddenly the other two bats laughed, who would drink directly these days. So the second bat said: Boss, give me a cup of lemon-flavored "blood", and then the third bat said: Boss, give me a cup of 100-degree boiled water. The first and second bats laughed when they saw this, and here they are. I saw a bat asking for boiled water suddenly took out a "sanitary napkin" from his pocket, put it in the cup, and said: What do you know? It is popular to drink tea these days.

Original text from: http://www.laifu.org/wangwen/4725.htm