Physiological needs of accompanying mothers (how difficult is it to accompany parents)

In September of 20 18, it was reported by the media that a student's father was angry with the teacher in the class group, saying that she had given the students too much homework to write until midnight 12.

Finally, the parent was kicked out of the group directly by the teacher.

It is really unreasonable for teachers to kick parents out of the group like this.

Now that children have such a heavy learning burden, parents need to be considerate of teachers, and teachers should also actively communicate with parents.

We don't know whether the teacher assigned too much homework or the children wrote slowly.

But in life, there are indeed many children who can't finish their homework because of habitual procrastination.

Children's procrastination habits often make their parents collapse.

Imagine a scene like this:

When I came home from class, the children put away their schoolbags. Pour out a lot of toys from the toy box and start playing.

When it's time for dinner, you ask the children to clean up and wash their hands for dinner. As a result, it takes half an hour for the children to pack up.

Finally, the child sat at the table. It seems that children can find new things at the dinner table, take a bite and play; Take a bite and play for a while. Then half an hour passed, leaving more than half a bowl.

I struggled for more than an hour and finally finished eating.

Let the child do his homework, only to see him holding a pen, turning around, digging around, turning over books, knocking on the table and moving chairs. I just haven't seen that pen for a long time.

Ten minutes passed, and I finally started writing. However, I have only written a few words and I am thirsty. Bring me a glass of water, thinking that I can finally calm down and do my homework.

Just picked up the pen, the child said, I want to go to the toilet.

Collapse? How can you finish your homework on time?

Are these habits of children innate?

That's not true.

Many daily habits of children are acquired, whether good or bad.

And how they gradually formed these habits, have you seriously thought about it?

Children form the habit of fooling around, which may have nothing to do with adults.

Behind the dawdling child stood nagging parents.

My daughter tries not to do her homework after watching TV, which gives me a headache.

At first, I just kept nagging: didn't I say I couldn't watch it? Didn't I ask you to do your homework? Why do you never listen? Get in there! …

As a result, I turned off the TV with a bang, regardless of whether my daughter saw the rise or not.

Then, the daughter finally entered the room.

But is the daughter willing to go in?

No, she just thought her mother was too nagging and went in with the idea of not making her angry. Her heart is not obedient.

At the same time, she will feel disrespected, which will lead to children's dissatisfaction. Their hearts are resistant.

Parents' repeated nagging will make children extremely impatient and easily touch their rebellious psychology.

The final result is: parents don't rush, children don't do it. The more parents hurry, the more children procrastinate.

For children who are used to procrastination, the most effective way is to use the ultimatum effect.

The ultimatum effect means that people always feel unprepared in the process of doing things and have been procrastinating, but by the deadline, they can basically complete the task.

When the ultimatum comes, children often work hard and will not delay.

So later I changed my method, communicated with my daughter and induced education.

For example, "Don't you like swimming very much? If you keep watching TV without restraint, your eyes will be hurt and you will be nearsighted. It will be very inconvenient to swim in the future. "

"It is understandable that children like watching TV, just like I sometimes want to play with my mobile phone all the time and do nothing. but I cannot do it. We must know how to control ourselves, manage our time and have fun in our spare time. What do you think? "

Finally, set a reasonable timetable according to her daughter's wishes, stipulate the length of time she watches TV, and let her have a clear concept of time.

Every time her daughter doesn't enter the room, she will stand firm: the appointed time must be carried out.

After several times, I gradually formed the habit that my daughter would take the initiative to enter the room as soon as the time came.

When a child dawdles, adults need to guide the child correctly, help her establish a reasonable concept of time, and let the child learn to manage time.

Behind the dawdling child stood an adult who did everything.

The classmate's daughter is in the middle class in kindergarten and can't eat at home by herself. She is usually fed by her grandmother.

Some students tried to let their children eat by themselves, but the children played while eating, and the students could not help but scold them. Grandma can't help feeding the child with a bowl.

After several times, the speed of children eating by themselves is getting slower and slower. In the end, adults simply don't feed or eat, which leads to the daughter's weight not reaching the standard at all.

This classmate told her mother-in-law that if children are always fed by adults at home, they will not eat by themselves when they arrive at kindergarten, and they will easily starve to death.

My mother-in-law said that the kindergarten teacher would help. But there are so many children in a kindergarten class that the teacher can't help but feed them every day.

Many adults do this themselves to save time when their children are dawdling.

This will make children feel dependent and form a habit. Even if they don't do it, adults will help.

For example, if your child is going to be late for school in the morning, help him get dressed and hold his shoes. It is too late at night. Help me tidy up my textbooks and schoolbags. As a result, I always asked you for help when I was a child.

In this way, children will not take the initiative to get rid of the habit of dawdling, and adults need to do more and more things for their children.

My daughter has tried to chew slowly, and sometimes she can't finish a meal for an hour or two.

My attitude is: if you don't eat, I'll put it away.

As a result, my daughter was hungry at night and found something to eat by herself (of course, I also prepared food in advance).

Slowly, my daughter didn't delay so much.

For children's procrastination habits, sometimes preaching is far less effective than consequence education.

Some parents are unwilling to let their children experience bad experiences and take the initiative to help them. But sometimes overprotecting children will eventually be "harmful" to children.

For example, eating at home is slow and cooking for children when they are hungry.

What about kindergarten?

Kindergartens usually have a unified timetable. If children eat slowly, the rest may be thrown away.

Of course, let the consequences educate children, not just let them hit the wall without warning.

Parents can warn their children in advance, and if they don't listen, they will go their own way and let the consequences educate their children.

Only when children have experienced the bitter fruit of their own wrong behavior will they know how to change bad habits actively.

Behind the lazy child stood a lazy adult. In Wife's Travel, Nana always cleans up these things every time she goes out, and those things are accidentally forgotten.

As a result, it often takes a long time to go out.

Jason said Nana was used to procrastinating.

Parents can easily influence their children like this.

A good friend who has known each other for more than ten years seldom gets together with friends on time, and even misses the departure time when trying to travel with a group.

Now her children are also dragging their feet when they go out.

She once said to me angrily: I have done everything, and the child has been waiting for a while.

Parents are children's mirrors, which can reflect their future.

If parents have no sense of time, do things slowly. Children will be influenced by adults consciously or unconsciously.

Finally, he became a child who was fooling around.

Adults don't want children to fool around. First of all, adults need to set a good example.

Behind the dawdling child is a "powerless" child.

I saw the status of a accompanying mother on the Internet: What's the relationship? ! Huh? ! What does it matter? ! What does it matter?

Finally, mother shouted angrily: Countdown? !

It's really not easy to be accompanied by parents. Every time they teach their children homework, they lose patience when they teach.

From the soft words at the beginning to the rage at the back.

"So, so, you won't?"

"Look, like this, like this, can you hurry up?"

In fact, the child may really not, no.

In this case, it is not that children are dawdling, but that children need a familiar process when facing some new things.

Many times, adults will unconsciously measure their children with their own rhythm and try to force them to follow their own rhythm. But I don't know. That's the standard of adults, not children.

This slow adaptation to new things does not require children to change, but requires parents to adjust their mentality.

More trust, more patience, less urging and nagging, so that children have more room for self-growth.

It takes 2 1 day for a good habit to take shape, and a bad habit may only take a few days.

Parents should pay attention to their children's procrastination and let them correct it in time.