A joke between husband and wife

1, rural teachers can read, let a peasant woman recognize the word quilt, but the peasant woman can't remember it. The teacher prompts, "What was it when you slept? The peasant woman said it was her husband." The teacher laughed and cried: "What about when my husband is away?" Peasant woman: "It's the village head."

2. I moved into a new home, bought a lot of things at one time, and met my neighbor at the door. He asked me sympathetically, how can I squeeze so many things back? I told him that I was driving by myself, and he sighed: Being a taxi driver is very hard and my waist is not good. I told him that I was not a taxi driver, and he suddenly realized, "Oh, you used to be a unit driver for the leader!" " "Too lazy to explain, let it go. But one day, he knocked on my door early in the morning and asked me to give him a ride. I want to forget it, because I was on the road, and he actually said, "It's public oil anyway. "

3. A couple were having dinner in a restaurant when suddenly a charming beauty came forward and greeted her husband kindly. After the beauty left, the wife asked, "Who is that woman?"

"If you must know?" The husband replied, "She is my lover."

"Your lover?" The wife said angrily, "it's too much, we divorce!" "

"Are you sure you want to give up the existing mansions, servants, Mercedes-Benz cars, jewels, mink coats and luxury villas in Hawaii?" The husband asked. The wife did not answer, and the two continued to eat silently.

After a long time, the wife finally touched her husband with her hand. "Isn't that Mr. Wang over there?" The wife asked, "Who is the woman next to him?"

"It's his lover." The husband replied.

"Oh?" The wife said casually while drinking: "ours is much more beautiful!" " "

4.8 soldiers took a day off to play in the city and didn't come back the next morning when they went out for exercises. The lieutenant was very annoyed.

After 7: 0 1, the first soldier came. "Excuse me, sir." He explained to the lieutenant, "My watch is slow. I missed the train and rented a car to drive back, but the car broke down halfway and I had to buy a horse in the village. Who thought the horse was dead again? I ran 10 miles before I came back. "

The lieutenant was very skeptical of his words. Then. Six soldiers came back one after another, all the same-missed the train, couldn't rent a car, couldn't buy a horse. The lieutenant was about to get angry when the last soldier arrived. "I missed the train, so I rented a car ..."

"Shut up!" The lieutenant grabbed him and growled, "Don't you dare say that the car is broken again?"

"no! Sir, "gasped the soldier," the car is not broken, but there are so many broken cars and horses on the road that the car can't pass! " There are four eggs in the refrigerator.

The first egg said to the second egg, "Hey! Look at the fourth egg! Hairy! It's disgusting! "

The second egg said to the third egg, "Hey! Look at the last egg! Hairy! It's disgusting! "

Just then, just as the fourth egg heard it, he shouted, "get out!" " Lao zi is kiwi fruit! "

6. A couple visited the farm and the owner proudly introduced a champion stallion.

The wife asked, "How many times does it mate a week?"

The owner of the farm said, "Five or six times."

The wife immediately said contemptuously to her husband, "You see people five or six times a week!" "

The owner of the farm quickly cleared the way for the gentleman: "Of course, we never let it always mate with the same cow."

7. The manager is talking to a beautiful girl: "Sorry, swimming is forbidden here …" Then why didn't you tell me before I undressed? ""We don't have any clothes. "

8. A man has just finished his wedding night. I sighed when I came to class the next day. One of his colleagues came up to him and asked him with concern, "What's the matter with you?" A man replied helplessly, "I habitually gave my wife 100 yuan when I came here this morning." His colleague said, "That's not good." A man said, "To make matters worse, my wife habitually gave me money from 20 yuan."

9. When the train entered the tunnel, it was dark in the carriage, only a kiss was heard, followed by a loud slap in the face. After the train left the tunnel, the four strangers in the carriage said nothing, except the Japanese officer, whose eyes were blue.

The old woman thought, "This girl is more beautiful in person and soul." The girl thought, "It's strange that I would rather kiss the old woman than me today." The Japanese thought, "China people are so cunning. He stole a kiss and I was beaten in the dark. " China people think, "I am the smartest. I kissed the back of my hand and slapped the Japanese. No one noticed. "

10, the baby asked his mother, "How to make sentences with ABCDEFG?"

Mom: "A, this B child, from the C family?" Stand barefoot on D, EF doesn't wear it, GG! "

Mom: "A, what a big B, do C! As long as you insert D, the flood will come out to E, which is really F for you, and G will continue to poke inside! "

Mom: "A! Where's bitch B, and where's family C? D bra has TND explosion EF and is still licking big GG. "